Bark's Lounge

This just might be the kind of event that is needed to thrust the Pouffetist movement into the next stratosphere. "What Plouffetist can preserve his or her liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their Plouffetist citizens preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to facts, pardon and pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The Tree of Plouffe must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is it's natural manure." (Thomas Jefferson - Sort of)

I love the Twins Daily Site. It presents to me a lot of insight, angles and intelligence. I love the metrics also, and I understand it is a sabermetric dominated site - but in a way, I find the Twins Daily site a dominated platform for "Metrics" individuals and it can become quite stifling for some. There is seemingly a small amount who play it by the vest and display their emotional quotient, but they are on this site hoping for their chance to have a voice... and want/need a platform. I think the metric intellectual pissing matches can turn some people off. I champion the TD participants who draw on the emotions of a time when it was not so numerical, stiff and void of feeling. Emotion and passion is the core of human expression and in my opinion, is still the core of baseball. Tomorrow, when we wake up. Most of us will have to go to a job, put in our time, and go home to our lives, that might be stressful, complicated or straight up tough. Enough of the Chic Automatons. Let us remember the past when great things happened on the ball field and we enjoyed the big moments and let us not forget the crushing and disappointing moments that left us dead for a moment. Baseball can be, but is not a college mathematics course.

I love the Twins Daily Site. It presents to me a lot of insight, angles and intelligence. I love the metrics also, and I understand it is a sabermetric dominated site - but in a way, I find the Twins Daily site a dominated platform for "Metrics" individuals and it can become quite stifling for some. There is seemingly a small amount who play it by the vest and display their emotional quotient, but they are on this site hoping for their chance to have a voice... and want/need a platform. I think the metric intellectual pissing matches can turn some people off. I champion the TD participants who draw on the emotions of a time when it was not so numerical, stiff and void of feeling. Emotion and passion is the core of human expression and in my opinion, is still the core of baseball. Tomorrow, when we wake up. Most of us will have to go to a job, put in our time, and go home to our lives, that might be stressful, complicated or straight up tough. Enough of the Chic Automatons. Let us remember the past when great things happened on the ball field and we enjoyed the big moments and let us not forget the crushing and disappointing moments that left us dead for a moment. Baseball can be, but is not a college mathematics course.

My comments by no means were meant to be negative on Sano. Keep him at 3B as long as you can. Make sure he can play 1B, RF and LF effectively also. Versatility creates options and value. Mr. Turd, I know you are not a Plouffetist and that is okay and your choice, I am a Plouffetist and I spend many hours meditating to find my inner peace with Plouffe... my Plouffetist center. I can assure you my fellow Twins Dailian - that Plouffe is the answer.

I'll give my two cents on the Perkins side of this equation. If you can get good+ value for him - why not? I have to admit that I am impressed with how he dug himself out of the Twins Doghouse and as a reliever he has pretty much proven he is strikeout/power pitcher. If you can get a good+ return for him go for it... anything less than that would be foolish. He is the only pitcher we have except for Liriano who can strike out hitters at a good clip.

(Whispering) Keep Ernie's status on the down low - I'm trying to build up his value.

The Sano staying at 3B has been a controversial subject. I once was fairly entrenched in the camp of "Keep him at 3B". As we all know this is an ever changing world. It appears obvious to me now that Sano will have to move over to 1B or one of the corner OF positions. The Twins already have their 3B of the present and future... Trevor Plouffe!

The fix is in. Unacceptable.

Trevor Plouffe Sam Malone Ernie Pantusso Carla Tortelli Cliff Clavin Honorable Mention: Norm Peterson, Lilith Sternen and Woody Boyd

Tremendous!

"Plouffetism" is the only means in which I choose to honor thy Plouffe. Being a Plou-liever sounds a bit like a Animalism... as in "Golden Plou-liever." It would sound better if the F's were added. I must now go burn some incense & sage, meditate and find my Plouffetist center of well being. I know the great Plouffe will reward Twins Daily Nation with many more homeruns and exciting baseball play.

Glunn, we are the OG's of Plouffetism, hands down and equals. I didnt want to speak for you. Damn that Veronica and Damn that Plouffe!!!

Hello River Brian. I appreciate you backing me up on the Plouffe subject. The problem is that I have met Plouffe and hung out with him at Hubert's and beyond. I thought we had a good time hanging out and thought we had struck up a friendship. This is the email he sent to me: Hello Bark. Was that you parked in the front of my townhouse last night? With your binoculars and hanging out of your car window - that **** kind of creeps me out. Given we had a few drinks and a couple of laughs a week or so ago and the good times seemed to be flowing. I somewhat regret having the after bar party at my place. I appreciate the fact that you brought over some ladies and we were able to kick it and relax, but there was no way I could have thought that Veronica was your girlfriend - damn dude, I am sorry. The sad thing is that I think I am in love with her. Bro, I don't want to screw with your life and I hope we are cool. Veronica has told me that you should pick up the kids at 8:30 - other than that I hope you are well and Win Twins! River Brian - this is what I am dealing with...uuhhgg....

In the first half of Jason Kendall's Career as a MLB catcher he was an offensive force. Injuries plagued this All-Star and after his year 30 season he seemingly started to crumble into that of a punch and judy hitter without any pop in his bat. Was it injuries that changed this once potent bat into that of a weak singles hitter? Before I delve into this anymore, I want everyone to know that I think Mauer is a better player than what Jason Kendall was in his prime. Although Mauer is great as a catcher, did the amount of time allotted to him to play this position destroy his greatest asset... his offense and extra base hitting ability?

It's unfortunate. We have a decent offense when they want to be. Willingham and Doumit looked like chumps tonight. We left a ton of runners on base in this game. The problem we had tonight is the runners that got on base all batted behind Plouffe. The table setters and middle of the line-up failed, except for Mauer for the most part. This is a game you have to win. This one sucks big time! Damn... Plouffe is unbelievable!!!! What a waste of a great effort.

This defeat felt somewhat deflating. A 3 game losing streak at home against some ball clubs that are not doing so well. Capps has to hold the fort in the 9th and he failed. Capps is a very serviceable relief pitcher, but he is no stopper. I understand why the fans are not in his corner. This was a ****ty loss.

Trevor Plouffe... let's get the ticket stamped... we are headed to Kansas City!

WTF? Happy "F"ing Birthday Plouffe! This might call for an All-Star Game selection.

As a Plouffetist, I approve Trevor's Message.

Damn. I knew I went too conservative. Glunn, I should have consulted you first... you are the voice of reason. If I was to vote, the judge should probably win for his example entry... classic, steamy and controversial!

“The Turning Point” Fort Myers, Early March, 2012 Dr. Von Schmooglingdorf was sitting in his leather lounge chair, gazing out the window of his temporary office. While staring into and losing himself in the vast blue Florida skies, there is a knock at his door, which startles him, but he quickly gathers himself. “Come in, Please.” The door opens and in enters Minnesota Twin utility player, Trevor Plouffe. Plouffe: “Hey man, I am Trevor Plouffe. Gardy told me to come see you. He said it was of great importance… so here I am.” The Doctor replies: “Hello Mr. Plouffe, I have heard a lot of good things about you. Ronald and Terrance told me you are a fine young gentleman and they requested that I have a consultation with you.” “A consultation about what?” questions Plouffe. “Well Trevor, this will be a consultation about field performance and a way to jump start your career in a way you could never dream of.” “I’m listening.” responds Plouffe. The Doctor shoots back: “What would it mean to you to become one of the greatest third basemen to have ever played the game of baseball?” Plouffe: “Third baseman? I have been told that I will be an Outfielder and DH. I know the coaching staff has soured on me as a shortstop, but I really feel like I am an infielder… I know I can get the job done. If it is third base – so be it. If I get the chance, I feel confident that I can handle it effectively.” The Doctor: “Well, Young Plouffe, you will get the chance, but it is going to take some courage, trust and a bit of risk. You see, Mr. Plouffe, I am one of the most renowned geneticists on this planet we call Earth and I have concocted a serum that will help you solidify elements of your game that no one could ever have imagined.” Plouffe: “Dude, what the hell are you talking about?” Although I believe there is a good chance that Sasquatch roams the earth, this sounds fishy and sort of like cheating. Is this some kind of prank?” The Doctor then lays down a picture of a mustache ladened man on his desk and says, “Do you know who this is?” Plouffe: “Damn, he looks familiar. He looks like my dad from the late 70’s. Who is he?” The Doctor: “This is Michael Jack Schmidt, Hall of Fame third baseman for the Philadelphia Phillies.” Plouffe: “Man, I feel like an idiot. Mike Schmidt is one of the all-time best. My question for you is – what the hell does Mike Schmidt have to do with me?” The Doctor: “My serum has a lot to do with Mike Schmidt. He was the genetic donor to this project. I am proposing to you the opportunity to become a Michael Schmidt type player. This serum I have invented will, when injected, intertwine the genes of Mike Schmidt with your genes. The theory is you will remain Trevor Plouffe, but with the advanced skills of Michael Schmidt the baseball player. This is no offense to you Trevor, but this serum has a chance to improve your skills ten-fold and help you realize your ultimate dream of becoming an all around great baseball player.” Plouffe: “This is a little overwhelming… let me think… let me think… hmmnn… this sounds too good to be true. Would I have to worry about or deal with any side effects? That kind of stuff scares me a little.” The Doctor: “If there is to be any negative side effect – the only one I can think of is that your children, if you decide to have any after the serum is injected and takes hold, have the chance to have Michael Schmidt traits. Like physical appearance, personality similarities, etc, etc.” Plouffe: Wow! This is a lot to take in. I am going to have to give this some serious thought. I hope I have some time to work with here, Doc?” The Doctor: “I understand this is a big decision. You have two months to come to a conclusion. If you decide against this, we will have to move on to our next candidate… Mr. Valencia. Flash forward to November, 2012 Minneapolis Plouffe finishes 2nd in MVP voting to Josh Hamilton, hitting 44 HRs, with 123 RBIs and an Avg. of .272 and winning his first gold glove award. Plouffe goes on to record 3 straight MVP Awards and 9 Straight Gold gloves awards on his way to a Cooperstown enshrinement. Also of note: After the 2015 season, Plouffe is offered a role in the “Happy Days” movie. A take on the 1970’s-1980’s TV hit series. Plouffe signs on and takes the role of Richie Cunningham’s Crooning friend, “Potsi”. After working with the original actor who played Potsi (Anson Williams), Plouffe finds his singing voice and becomes a pop crooner sensation in Germany. After his baseball career ends, becomes a beloved Vegas Act.

Damn... Spando Calrissian is actually catching on.

That sounds like a revamped "New Kids on the Block" line-up. I can't wait till they put out there next album and tour.

Although I named a few earlier. I thought I'd finish the rest of the Starting Line-up tonight. It is guaranteed some of these will suck! 1. Denard Span - Spando Calrissian/The Pimp/Billy Dee 2. Ben Revere - Lil' Peeps 3. Joe Mauer - Brokeback Mauer/Joey Baseball 4. Josh Willingham - Beef Willingham 5. Justin Morneau - Risky Business (Morneau is a tough one to come up with avoiding cliche or lameness, I am using the actress Rebecca De Mornay of the movie "Risky Business" (Mornay=Morneau). This is the best I can come up with. 6. Ryan Doumit - God Doumit - although I do like "Doom" 7. Brian Dozier - "Bull Dozier" works, but I'd go with "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" 8. Trevor Plouffe - Babe Plouffe 9. Jamey Carroll - Tiny Tim (as in X-mas Carroll)