Bark's Lounge

I do see a scenario where Andy Pettitte is inducted into the National Baseball Hall of Fame: 2017 - There is a nuclear holocaust, wiping out 95% of the population of Planet Earth. 2-3% of the population of the United States and Lower Canada survive this event and create new societies living in the sewers in the remains of big cities. In 2116, when the Elder Statesmen of a few different clans deem the environment to be safe to enter and to investigate, a group of explorers is sent out into the world and they stumble upon the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Although these explorers have no clue what "Baseball" is and have a hard time piecing together how the game is played, in their best effort they try to play a game to their best abilities in a field near Cooperstown. They use a Mickey Mantle bat from his Triple Crown Season and a Sandy Koufax baseball from one of his no-hitters to try and relight the fire of the great game of baseball. It does not go so well as a black bear and Siberian Tiger attack them while playing. One of the fatalities of this attack is a man named Gurbis #6, he had kept in his pocket a plastic encased Andy Pettitte 1996 Topps baseball card inherited to him from his Great Great Grandfather. When the surviving explorers discover this in the pocket of Gurbis #6's pants pocket after cannibalizing him, they decide that it would be a good omen to induct Andy Pettitte into the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Using tree sap they stick Andy Pettitte's Baseball Card on one of glass encasings within the HOF, and proclaim him God of Baseball. After checking each other for ticks and combing each others hair, the surviving explorers make their way back to their underground home in Buffalo, New York. This is how Andy Pettitte is inducted into the National Baseball Hall of Fame.

Point taken and agreed upon. On another note - you have got to like what you are seeing from your team down in GA. The pitching has been great and a huge portion of the offense has been invisible. Once they get their offense together, they should be looked at as one of the best teams in baseball, easily if they are not already. Also, do you think Gattis can be a full time catcher and replace McCann full time after 2013?

By no means did I mean that Bo Jackson would be a .300 hitter or a perennial MVP candidate in the mid-90's. Geez, I can't believe it has been 20 years, and forgive me if I recollect somethings misconstrued, but MLB HR numbers seemed to take a healthy bounce forward post 1993. My guess is Bo would have been included in the more than handful of players at that time and place in MLB history to hit 40 HR's in a season or two or three.

I was just watching a daily program on MLB TV featuring Brian Kenney and Hal Reynolds which is advertised as old school v. new school in baseball thought. This post is not about this program, but they had brought up Bo Jackson, and it sparked a thought I have a had a handful of times in the last decade... What would Bo Jackson have accomplished on the baseball field if he did not destroy his hip? Using his age 28 through 37 seasons (1991-1999) and factoring in that most of those years were prime power number years in the nucleus of the PED era - My thought is that he would have had three 40+ HR seasons. I am curious to know what the rest you think.

Hey Top Gun - within the chaos of many thoughts and the illnesses brought on by the Twin's futility, you once again have cleared the way for us to begin a knew again. Thanks for the insight, thank you for lending all of us your soul and your passion.

Ditto.

Hello again. I honestly did not think I would be able to communicate with the living up until a few weeks ago. In my adult life I embraced Atheism. When my organic nature expired on Earth, I was surprised to find that there was an after-life. Fortunately or unfortunately, my current residence is hell, under the dominion of Satan. Life in Hell is somewhat strange and I will try to explain that in this written piece. First and foremost, I would like to apologize to everyone I disrespected or mislead. My Bark’s Lounge identity was used strictly as a fictional outlet for myself to vent, create, and to have fun. I did not think that my actions were wrong while participating on this site, but the clerical staff in Hell informed me that my involvement and actions on this site were a small, but not insignificant part of my after-life sentencing. Bark’s Lounge was never living in Japan. 3 or 4 of my last posts focused on Bark’s Lounge living in Kagoshima, Japan. At the time I thought this was a fun avenue to go down and to write some fictional stories to. I understand in hindsight, I went too far with certain things and I would like to put on the record that I am not a rascist. Except for purposely writing from a Japanese Detective’s point of view and screwing up his English interpretation, which I thought was harmless, I feel like I represented appropriately, and if I did not, let it be known that I am enamored with the Japanese society and a lot of stories can be thought up because of their fun loving, unique and glorious society. My last days alive were filled with needless gambling in Vegas. I got a bit in over my head and ran into the wrong crowd. I ended up borrowing money from some top Yakuza Gangsters and was unable to pay them back in the time frame they deemed acceptable. They drowned me in their hot tub and disposed of my body in a landfill on the southern outskirts of town. When I was drowned, I felt certain that was the end. When I woke up, I found myself in a very dark, but illuminated dark space which seemed to have no beginning or end. Many physical forms would pass you by and dissolve into the darkness. It certainly was a shock, but soon I would be made aware of my predictament. Beings that I would call Satan’s Clerical Staff approached me and informed me That I was now a resident of hell. My instinct was to laugh, but that emotional reaction reached a dead end wall. In hell, there is no ability to laugh, cry, be angry, be happy, be hopeful – the best that I can describe it is as a blank, zombie like reaction to everything thrown at you. Nothing more – nothing less. In hell I was able to run into Ty Cobb and Rogers Hornsby. They were caught up in themselves and were unable to communicate with me. Kirby Puckett is also in hell with me, we chat on occasion, but he is unsure of what has happened. He never talks about baseball, but always asks me if he has been a good person. I never knew him when he was alive, but I tell him – He was a good person and he was a difference maker. It never seems to compute with him though. In hell I have found out that after 4 months of settling in, the inhabitants of hell are permitted to visit the living humans that were once important to them for 1 week, In turn it is pretty much haunting them. I did not participate, because my wife has already shacked up with a new guy and the new guy was my best friend at the time of my death. What’s the point – she is better off. I was able to watch some baseball though. What is our record 4-4? Our starting Pitching will be the hang noose of this team, but they have held their own half of the time. I am guessing we have another poor season – this sewn together pitching staff will eventually implode. On paper it looks like everyone on the offensive side of the coin can improve. Except for Escobar or Florimon, who are reaching further than their expectations. In a season of non-expectations, sometimes the cream of the lesser rises to the top. All we can do is hope, VIVA Hicks, VIVA Plouffe, VIVA Parmelee, VIVA Dozier!!! Bark's Lounge

Hello again. I honestly did not think I would be able to communicate with the living up until a few weeks ago. In my adult life I embraced Atheism. When my organic nature expired on Earth, I was surprised to find that there was an after-life. Fortunately or unfortunately, my current residence is hell, under the dominion of Satan. Life in Hell is somewhat strange and I will try to explain that in this written piece. First and foremost, I would like to apologize to everyone I disrespected or mislead. My Bark’s Lounge identity was used strictly as a fictional outlet for myself to vent, create, and to have fun. I did not think that my actions were wrong while participating on this site, but the clerical staff in Hell informed me that my involvement and actions on this site were a small, but not insignificant part of my after-life sentencing. Bark’s Lounge was never living in Japan. 3 or 4 of my last posts focused on Bark’s Lounge living in Kagoshima, Japan. At the time I thought this was a fun avenue to go down and to write some fictional stories to. I understand in hindsight, I went too far with certain things and I would like to put on the record that I am not a rascist. Except for purposely writing from a Japanese Detective’s point of view and screwing up his English interpretation, which I thought was harmless, I feel like I represented appropriately, and if I did not, let it be known that I am enamored with the Japanese society and a lot of stories can be thought up because of their fun loving, unique and glorious society. My last days alive were filled with needless gambling in Vegas. I got a bit in over my head and ran into the wrong crowd. I ended up borrowing money from some top Yakuza Gangsters and was unable to pay them back in the time frame they deemed acceptable. They drowned me in their hot tub and disposed of my body in a landfill on the southern outskirts of town. When I was drowned, I felt certain that was the end. When I woke up, I found myself in a very dark, but illuminated dark space which seemed to have no beginning or end. Many physical forms would pass you by and dissolve into the darkness. It certainly was a shock, but soon I would be made aware of my predictament. Beings that I would call Satan’s Clerical Staff approached me and informed me That I was now a resident of hell. My instinct was to laugh, but that emotional reaction reached a dead end wall. In hell, there is no ability to laugh, cry, be angry, be happy, be hopeful – the best that I can describe it is as a blank, zombie like reaction to everything thrown at you. Nothing more – nothing less. In hell I was able to run into Ty Cobb and Rogers Hornsby. They were caught up in themselves and were unable to communicate with me. Kirby Puckett is also in hell with me, we chat on occasion, but he is unsure of what has happened. He never talks about baseball, but always asks me if he has been a good person. I never knew him when he was alive, but I tell him – He was a good person and he was a difference maker. It never seems to compute with him though. In hell I have found out that after 4 months of settling in, the inhabitants of hell are permitted to visit the living humans that were once important to them for 1 week, In turn it is pretty much haunting them. I did not participate, because my wife has already shacked up with a new guy and the new guy was my best friend at the time of my death. What’s the point – she is better off. I was able to watch some baseball though. What is our record 4-4? Our starting Pitching will be the hang noose of this team, but they have held their own half of the time. I am guessing we have another poor season – this sewn together pitching staff will eventually implode. On paper it looks like everyone on the offensive side of the coin can improve. Except for Escobar or Florimon, who are reaching further than their expectations. In a season of non-expectations, sometimes the cream of the lesser rises to the top. All we can do is hope, VIVA Hicks, VIVA Plouffe, VIVA Parmelee, VIVA Dozier!!! Bark's Lounge

Hello Twin’s Daily Participants, As the representative for the family of Bark’s Lounge, after his death, I was given the task of sorting through his personal affairs and tying them up. I guess that is why I am submitting this. I suppose it is some form of closure, but this is what I am paid to do. After reading through some of the material Mr. Lounge submitted on this website, I am under the impression he was a not so well liked member of this community. A big part of my job is to be objective, but after reading some of the stuff he chose to put out there and also having access to his personal journal, I reached the conclusion that he had no business being a member of a Sport’s team based internet chat site, his mindset and personal views, in my opinion, were not a missing puzzle piece for Twin’s Daily. Mr. Lounge has definitely made some mistakes, and I would say this is on that list. His family requests that I send you their apologies. They have been concerned for him for a long time and unfortunately the thing they feared the most became a reality. In his journal, he alluded to the fact that he was not well received on this site and seemed to be regretful. My feeling is that he enjoyed baseball quite a bit, but baseball mixed with his other interests and his mode of expression were not meant to pan out for him on this site. One last note, I found this poem in Mr. Lounge’s journal. It was dated November 21, 2012. This is the note I leave upon you: Twin’s Daily An orgy of malcontents In this brackish water Too much love and hate The mix is intoxicating The hangover is consuming Pitches, hits, errors and open wounds The salt has been this past season I sense the agony in the whole The offseason manhandles us Can we be found anew?

Hello Twin’s Daily Participants, As the representative for the family of Bark’s Lounge, after his death, I was given the task of sorting through his personal affairs and tying them up. I guess that is why I am submitting this. I suppose it is some form of closure, but this is what I am paid to do. After reading through some of the material Mr. Lounge submitted on this website, I am under the impression he was a not so well liked member of this community. A big part of my job is to be objective, but after reading some of the stuff he chose to put out there and also having access to his personal journal, I reached the conclusion that he had no business being a member of a Sport’s team based internet chat site, his mindset and personal views, in my opinion, were not a missing puzzle piece for Twin’s Daily. Mr. Lounge has definitely made some mistakes, and I would say this is on that list. His family requests that I send you their apologies. They have been concerned for him for a long time and unfortunately the thing they feared the most became a reality. In his journal, he alluded to the fact that he was not well received on this site and seemed to be regretful. My feeling is that he enjoyed baseball quite a bit, but baseball mixed with his other interests and his mode of expression were not meant to pan out for him on this site. One last note, I found this poem in Mr. Lounge’s journal. It was dated November 21, 2012. This is the note I leave upon you: Twin’s Daily An orgy of malcontents In this brackish water Too much love and hate The mix is intoxicating The hangover is consuming Pitches, hits, errors and open wounds The salt has been this past season I sense the agony in the whole The offseason manhandles us Can we be found anew?

I believe Toby will be getting the first crack. Damn' date=' forgot about Toby, Maybe bench coach could be had?[/quote'] Yes! It'll be like a season long playdate. Indeed... and a playdate to remember for the ages.

I believe Toby will be getting the first crack. Damn, forgot about Toby, Maybe bench coach could be had?

I do not have the insight to answer this question. But, I can say this - without Butera being on the Twins 40 man roster, it might hurt Twins Daily as he has been a source controversial topics. My guess is he is non-tendered and is named the Twins Manager in 2014.

I like Ben. He brings a lot of energy to the Twins Lineup and clubhouse - sometimes that can be contagious, and that's a good thing. Fortunately or unfortunately, I do not believe Revere will be starting in the outfield after the 2013 season. Hicks is his superior in talent and Arcia is knocking on the door with his potent bat. I think the world of the guy, but he is merely a stop gap. This is my prediction. No extension.

Agreed. The Nats are locked and loaded. Excellent 1-3 starters with money to spend this offseason, the bullpen should be even better with a full season of Drew Storen, they have a very good defense and all of their position players are offensive +'s. Even if the Nats lose LaRoche, Morse is an excellent hitter with power to take over 1B.

Hanson for Walden... that is another decent arm in the bullpen to go with Kimbrel, Venters and O'Flaherty - it makes me wonder if the Braves are poised to flip Venters to another team to acquire more offense?

Ditto.

Top Gun. I cannot guess on your health status, but in my deepest heart of hearts, I hope you are around to see the next Twins World Championship.

Witty. On that topic, I guess we know what kind of manager Davey Johnson is - a players manager. Whether shutting down Strasburg was in the whole scheme of things a good move, that is left up to personal opinion. Davey Johnson, being a former MLB player, was probably looking out for the best interest of Strasburg and his future. I cannot fault him for that. Who knows what would have happened if Strasburg continued to pitch... maybe the Nats would have won it all, maybe Strasburg would have blown out his elbow again. Davey Johnson is a very good baseball man and GM Rizzo seems competent. This last one is a fact Jack - We have not seen the last of the Washington Nationals in their quest for a World Championship!

This post is not meant to agitate or to pour salt into anybody's wound who is disappointed by the Denard Span trade. When you are a child and a loved one has passed away, adults will usually comfort that child by telling them - "Don't be sad Lil' Timmy, Grandpa Elmer is in a better place now". At first I was a little bit sad because of the loss of Denard Span, but then I realized that Span was in a better place... a much, much better place. In my heart and spirit I have found my peace and I am glad Denard is not suffering anymore. Mr. Span, we will miss you whole heartedly, but I feel assured in your After-Twin's Life, you will find the fortune and glory that you could not attain on the Minnesota Twins plain of existence. Peace be with you my friend

There were not going to be any miracle returns in a Span trade. Did I expect a trade like this, probably not. Am I disappointed in the trade, not really. Who knows, this guy could be a #1 or #2 starter in 4-5 years, he could also be pitching in Independent Ball or working for a construction company in that same time frame. I am however very happy for Denard Span. He is leaving a severely crippled franchise and heading to a team that has everything going for it. My guess is that Span flourishes in his new environment and has great team and personal successes. Viva Denard Span!!!

Unfortunately, last evening, while walking home from my place of employment in Kagoshima, Japan, I was ambushed by an angry gang of youthful Japanese men. I am not sure if they targeted me because I was American or if my job as a greeter at Burger King dictated that my honor was at such a low standing that it called for a good old fashion butt kicking. I must say I was intrigued by this gang… mostly their fashion and fighting style. Imagine a young Japanese man dressed as Arthur Fonzarelli with the addition of a red bandana being worn around the forehead, who possesses superb martial arts fighting skills. Although I am bruised and bloodied – I am left with an impression that leans more to the positive than the negative. Since I am fresh off a good A@% whipping, for some stupid reason it got me to thinking about Theodore Roosevelt. Teddy was a man amongst boys, the definition of a Man’s Man. He was the kind of guy who would kick the crap out of you, shoot and kill you, have your head taxidermied and hung prominently above his fireplace before he would give you a hug. I personally like hugs, but that is beside the point. What if Teddy Roosevelt was secretly cryogenically frozen in 1919 and was re-introduced to our society in 2012? What would he do? What could he do? I think I might have an answer… Teddy Roosevelt, Major League Baseball Commissioner This is what I think would happen… I think the contract structures and what the players monetarily make would change drastically. Under Teddy, I believe there would be a more than fair slotted yearly salary format based on sabremetric, guts and glory, and manliness (machismo) performance. Somehow, He would dispose of the Player’s Union. Hit batters would skyrocket and there would a bench clearing brawl every 3 days or so during the MLB season. All team personal appearance rules involving facial hair would be eliminated, closely monitored by Roosevelt himself. This essentially means that if a MLB players has anything but a mustache (long or short) would be reprimanded, fined, and forced to fix the mess that they made with their facial hair. Although the slotted salary format is strictly in place – Free Agency still exists, but with a twist. Players are discouraged to leave the teams they are currently with, but when a player’s contract expires they have the option of the status quo or entering the Free Agent Safari. The Free Agent Safari will take place on a wild life refuge in a different place of our planet yearly – with a very good chance of wildlife threat. General Managers will be the hunters, armed with rifles that fire a skin penetrating pellet with a micro chip that indicates who has been caught and at what time. The last free agent standing wins a 100M bonus and has his choice of what team he plays for. The 2nd and 3rd place finishers receive a 20M & 15M bonus, 2nd & 3rd place finishers are allowed to pick the teams they would want to play for, but that team will have to negotiate a fee under 50M or make a trade with the players current team. As for the other free agents, they will be returned to their former team respectively. Unfortunately some players will not make it out of the Free Agent Safari and no lawsuits can be filed as the players will have signed a waiver, excluding MLB and all affiliates from any wrong doing. If a general manager is killed or wounded in the Free Agent Safari – they have already signed that waiver as it is a part of their contract. Here ends my concept – I must go to bed and heal my wounds, and wake up to go to my job at Burger King tomorrow. As much as I was intrigued with the Japanese Gang the kick the crap out of me, I am hoping that there will not be a replay tomorrow – I am looking forward to an enjoyable evening at the arcade and maybe getting some hugs from the honeys! Sayonara, Bark’s Lounge[ATTACH=CONFIG]2753[/ATTACH]

Unfortunately, last evening, while walking home from my place of employment in Kagoshima, Japan, I was ambushed by an angry gang of youthful Japanese men. I am not sure if they targeted me because I was American or if my job as a greeter at Burger King dictated that my honor was at such a low standing that it called for a good old fashion butt kicking. I must say I was intrigued by this gang… mostly their fashion and fighting style. Imagine a young Japanese man dressed as Arthur Fonzarelli with the addition of a red bandana being worn around the forehead, who possesses superb martial arts fighting skills. Although I am bruised and bloodied – I am left with an impression that leans more to the positive than the negative. Since I am fresh off a good A@% whipping, for some stupid reason it got me to thinking about Theodore Roosevelt. Teddy was a man amongst boys, the definition of a Man’s Man. He was the kind of guy who would kick the crap out of you, shoot and kill you, have your head taxidermied and hung prominently above his fireplace before he would give you a hug. I personally like hugs, but that is beside the point. What if Teddy Roosevelt was secretly cryogenically frozen in 1919 and was re-introduced to our society in 2012? What would he do? What could he do? I think I might have an answer… Teddy Roosevelt, Major League Baseball Commissioner This is what I think would happen… I think the contract structures and what the players monetarily make would change drastically. Under Teddy, I believe there would be a more than fair slotted yearly salary format based on sabremetric, guts and glory, and manliness (machismo) performance. Somehow, He would dispose of the Player’s Union. Hit batters would skyrocket and there would a bench clearing brawl every 3 days or so during the MLB season. All team personal appearance rules involving facial hair would be eliminated, closely monitored by Roosevelt himself. This essentially means that if a MLB players has anything but a mustache (long or short) would be reprimanded, fined, and forced to fix the mess that they made with their facial hair. Although the slotted salary format is strictly in place – Free Agency still exists, but with a twist. Players are discouraged to leave the teams they are currently with, but when a player’s contract expires they have the option of the status quo or entering the Free Agent Safari. The Free Agent Safari will take place on a wild life refuge in a different place of our planet yearly – with a very good chance of wildlife threat. General Managers will be the hunters, armed with rifles that fire a skin penetrating pellet with a micro chip that indicates who has been caught and at what time. The last free agent standing wins a 100M bonus and has his choice of what team he plays for. The 2nd and 3rd place finishers receive a 20M & 15M bonus, 2nd & 3rd place finishers are allowed to pick the teams they would want to play for, but that team will have to negotiate a fee under 50M or make a trade with the players current team. As for the other free agents, they will be returned to their former team respectively. Unfortunately some players will not make it out of the Free Agent Safari and no lawsuits can be filed as the players will have signed a waiver, excluding MLB and all affiliates from any wrong doing. If a general manager is killed or wounded in the Free Agent Safari – they have already signed that waiver as it is a part of their contract. Here ends my concept – I must go to bed and heal my wounds, and wake up to go to my job at Burger King tomorrow. As much as I was intrigued with the Japanese Gang the kick the crap out of me, I am hoping that there will not be a replay tomorrow – I am looking forward to an enjoyable evening at the arcade and maybe getting some hugs from the honeys! Sayonara, Bark’s Lounge[ATTACH=CONFIG]2753[/ATTACH]

Incomplete Voltron – 2013 Twins and Beyond Now that I am living in Kagoshima, Japan, I have been enjoying myself – it has been quite an adventure and a culture shock. I have procured a job at a Burger King, working as a greeter dressed up as the “Burger King”. I have had better jobs in my lifetime, but overall it has been a pretty good experience. The customers have some nicknames for me, which is touching. They call me “Okuraseru” and “Akushū o hanatsu”. It is nice to feel loved and appreciated by this honorable and glorious society. I have been running into a lot of Voltron cartoons from the 1980’s. Before the last month, It has been probably 25 years since I had last seen an episode of Voltron. Being that I am in Japan and do not know Japanese, I have no idea what anyone is saying and that makes it sort of fun. Watching these Voltron episodes makes me think about the Minnesota Twins. In most Voltron episodes (using the Golion Team as an example), after enduring some touch and go battles with their nemesis, the Humanoid piloted Lion robots combine to form Voltron and save the day. Lance manned the Red Lion and Pidge manned the Green Lion. The Red and Green Lions were the arms of Voltron. If the Twins were to be compared to the Golion Voltron, they would be armless, they are without a pilot to man the Red and Green Lion. I would imagine that Zach Greinke, Anibal Sanchez or Shaun Marcum could pilot the Red or Green Lion, but they most probably have other destinations. Trades could also bring home some able pilots – such as James Shields, Jeremy Hellickson, Kris Medlen, Mike Minor or Matt Moore, but these trades would lead to us to probably having to trade one of the the pilots of the Black, Blue and Yellow Lion… thus making the Twin’s Voltron unable to form. The next three seasons for the Twin’s Voltron do not look promising. I suspect it will be 2-3 awful seasons of episodes and hopefully in the 3rd or 4th season some new recruits will have what it takes to pilot the Red and Green Lion. Sayonara, Bark’s Lounge