Twins Video
1. Jeannie – This American Icon was trapped in her bottle for 2,000 years until being discovered by an astronaut who landed far off course on a deserted island. In other words… after 2,000 years in a bottle… Jeannie is a lot like a non-blinking Alex Meyer.
2. Aladdin’s Lamp – Terry Ryan is the General Manager of an impoverished team… living in poverty for many years. Terry was vulnerable because of this poverty and easily fell under the influence of the sorcery of his evil advisors. His advisors set him up as a wealthy merchant to gain their trust and then persuaded him to fetch an oil lamp from a magic cave. It was really an evil plan that led to Terry being trapped in the cave, but Terry manages to escape this double cross because of the support of Jim Pohlad who appeared out of nowhere to make sure that Terry would be OK. Terry returned home from this magic cave entrapment still poor but now with a lamp of unknown value. His mother, Paul Molitor (that was really her name), was only concerned about feeding the family and had resorted to cooking up piles of Mastroianni because that was all they could afford and nobody was getting the nutrition necessary to grow up big and strong. She decided that the lamp could be sold to purchase much needed food. That’s when Paul Molitor started to clean the lamp to sell and while rubbing it… something magical happened. Byron Buxton, Jose Berrios and Eddie Rosario came out and punched her right in the face.
3. Jeannie C. Riley -- I’ve never been to Harper Valley but it’s clear that it is populated by a bunch of hypocrites so I’ve chosen to remain in Grand Forks where hypocrites are not allowed and are all forced to live in East Grand Forks. The Parent Teachers Association of Harper Valley had become concerned about the widowed Mrs. Johnson and the short dresses she wore and a proclivity for drinking and hanging out with men. They sent a note home with her daughter that stated this behavior was a bad example for her young daughter. As it turns out the members of the Harper Valley PTA were not perfect either and had a big list of their own issues that Mrs. Johnson readily brought to light at the next meeting. Issues like stalking, drinking, extra-marital affairs, exhibitionism, golf-ball sized neck moles, inappropriate web searches, psoriasis, completely missing easy pop ups behind 2nd base, trying to pull the ball with a runner on 2nd and nobody out, not mixing up the locations and speeds of pitches, bunting too often, not considering the lefty/righty matchups and not fielding a roster of competent players. After the hypocrisy was placed on the table for all to see… Brian Dozier, Phil Hughes, Kevin Jepsen, Paul Molitor and Terry Ryan all got up and walked out of the room in disgust.
4. Baba O’ Riley – Out on the baseball field… you must fight for your paycheck. You got to get your back into what you do and if you do… you won’t need to explain yourself and there will be no need to be forgiven. So let’s not cry… let’s not be concerned… It’s only TEENAGE WASTELAND.
And TWINS… Please… Let’s get this together… BEFORE WE GET MUCH OLDER!!!
5. Baba – When my youngest son was a toddler and was thirsty he would say “Baba”. I had no idea what this meant and never put two and two together. I simply didn’t know at the time that he meant “Bottle” and it came out “Baba.” He’s 18 now and about to graduate high school and we are so proud of him but it turns out that he is now severely dehydrated.
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Lineups:
BLUE JAYS
Jose Bautista(R ) RF
Josh Donaldson(R ) 3B
Edwin Encarnacion(R ) DH
Justin Smoak(S) 1B
Michael Saunders(L) LF
Troy Tulowitzki(R ) SS
Jimmy Paredes(S) 2B
Russell Martin(R ) C
Kevin Pillar(R ) CF
Marco Estrada(R ) P
TWINS
Brian Dozier(R ) 2B
Eduardo Nunez(R ) SS
Joe Mauer(L) 1B
Miguel Sano(R ) RF
Trevor Plouffe(R ) 3B
Byung-ho Park(R ) DH
Oswaldo Arcia(L) LF
Kurt Suzuki(R ) C
Danny Santana(S) CF
Ervin Santana(R ) P
Game-time forecast: Partly cloudy, 68 deg F with a brief 9% chance of rain, winds from the S-SSE at 5-9mph.
Go Twins! Please!
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