Beat Writer Orders Nachos Again

Baseball’s Winter Meetings convene in Dallas on Monday, but many media members are getting there ahead of time to network, chat up sources, and talk shop with their peers.

And in the case of Todd Daniels, it’s time to get some hotel bar nachos.

“Obviously, media budgets are tight nowadays, so you kinda have to apply those ‘Moneyball’ principles to your dinner order,” said Daniels, who covers the Guardians for the Cleveland Plain Dealer. “And hotel bars have a captive audience, so their prices are already up there. Twenty-six bucks for a smashburger? They just replaced my editor with ChatGPT. Not a chance.”

Instead, Daniels recreates a full meal in the aggregate by looking to the appetizer section.

“Nachos. Chips, veggies, dairy, protein. A variety of sauces. It’s on the appetizer menu, but it eats like a full meal. It’s practically a buffet line on a plate. Always cheaper than the burger. Always a bigger portion than the chicken sandwich or ‘elevated pub fare,’ whatever that is.”

Daniels insists that the quality of the meal is thoroughly adequate.

“It’s never going to be great, but it’s never going to be terrible. And there will be leftovers. You bring those back to your room and you have brunch the next day. That’s money you can spend on three, four, five domestic lagers, two IPAs, or a double bourbon rocks with middle-shelf hooch. Middle shelf!”

When asked if happy hour specials impacted his decision-making, Daniels scoffed.

“You have to remember, happy hours often conflict with our working hours,” said Daniels. “We talk about them like they’re ghosts. Some think they exist, but no one’s ever seen one. If $6 chicken nachos supreme were available between the hours of 2-4pm, I assure you, I would have housed them.

“That said, late-night happy hours? That’s when you win on the margins, my friend. 2-for-1 Coors Lights and mini corn dogs can get you through a weekend.”

Daniels said that when a retired columnist mentions their expense accounts in the 1970s and 1980s, he has one reaction.

“I reconsider every life decision that led me to this job.”