Article: Joe Mauer Is Having Twins

[John Bonnes]

For years, it's been clear that the Twins belong to Joe Mauer. It's nice to to get a little divine confirmation.

 

Download attachment: mntwins.JPG

 

Late last night news broke that Joe's Mauer's wife, Maddie, is pregnant with Twins. (Oops. I meant "twins." The capitalization has become a habit. Though I suppose it is possible that she could be pregnant with future Twins. Gotta love those Mauer genes.) According to Joe, everything so far is "so good." Yes, yes it is Joe. For all of us. Let the "extra-base power" jokesbegin!

 

Of course, Joe's not the one who gets to carry not one, but two human beings inside himself for the next couple of months. Maddie might want to approach the next eight months with the same attitude Denny Hocking did when his wife had twins. When someone pointed out to him that he was the first franchise player to have twins while playing for the Twins, he replied "At least I don't play for the Sixers."

[PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]

 

I'll be honest, this news has put a little hop in my step today. first, because it is the most Minnesotan story ever. For most of the rest of the nation, if the news broke that a ballplayer was going to "have" twins, they would have assumed they looked like this:

 

Download attachment: twins.JPG

Nope, not in Minnesota. We assume two overweight, overly-friendly guys, shaking hands over a river. (Maddie can be happy she isn't carrying THAT for the next eight months, too.)

 

I also love that the Twins franchise player is having twins. Three years ago, when I reviewed that $23 million per year contract that Joe got, I didn't think of this as a possible benefit. And if this news came down today and Mauer was a Yankee or a Red Sock, I'd be a little bummed. It would have been just one more log on the "We're Minnesotans and we can't have nice things" bonfire. I'm a little tired of watching that thing burn.

 

Instead, the more ethereal of us can talk ourselve into this being a positive omen. The Baby Jesus having twins? Our favorite Twin having twins just about the same time that the Twins are themselves being reborn? That's GOT to be good, right?

 

I can get a little carried away. Why not? It's spring. The time when a young man's mind wanders to love, and baseball, and babies.

 

And Twins. Er, twins. Oh, hell - TWINS.

 

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