Jump to content
Twins Daily
  • Create Account

Brad Swanson

Verified Member
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    1,200

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Profiles

News

Minnesota Twins Videos

2026 Minnesota Twins Top Prospects Ranking

2022 Minnesota Twins Draft Picks

Minnesota Twins Free Agent & Trade Rumors, Notes, & Tidbits

Guides & Resources

2023 Minnesota Twins Draft Picks

The Minnesota Twins Players Project

2024 Minnesota Twins Draft Picks

2025 Minnesota Twins Draft Pick Tracker

Forums

Blogs

Events

Store

Downloads

Gallery

Blog Entries posted by Brad Swanson

  1. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! Check out this cool Kevin Slowey time line I made!
     
    There has been a lot of talk about trading the Twins established MLB players for prospects in recent weeks. This concept has become a bit more complicated due to the Twins' relative success this season. A terrible team is an easy seller while a great team is an eager buyer. The Twins are neither great nor terrible. The difficulty for the Twins' front office will be determining who is a part of the future and who is expendable.
     
    I don't intend to try to make that determination. I'll leave that to everyone else. However, I remember an episode of Gleeman and the Geek from last season, when our heroic hosts were discussing this very topic. John wanted to use current Twins prospects to determine a fair value for current Twins players. I loved it. It seems like such an intuitive way to explain what type of return they would be willing to accept. I figure, I can do the same just in case for some strange reason the Twins decided to give me all the power involved in making their trades.
     
    For the record, this would be a terrible decision, as I would make wild determinations based on factors like name hilarity, hair length, eye black wearing and stirrups.
     
    However, if I decided to use my brain instead of my heart/the bad part of my brain, here is what I would anticipate if the Twins got offers for current Twins, using current Twins prospects as a hypothetical return. If this is too plagiarism-y (from that Gleeman and the Geek), just go ahead and ignore/delete/savage. We'll go from smallest return to largest, just for fun.
     
    Drew Butera for Tom Brunansky right now
     
    This is just mean. Why?
     
    Trade Approved. But seriously, be nice.
     
    Mike Pelfrey for Tim Atherton
     
    If Pelfrey can be traded for any young pitcher, I'll take it. Atherton has a unique path to where he is right now, but as a 23-year-old at low A, he is the type of pitcher who could be reasonably acquired for Pelfrey. Pelfrey is only signed until the end of the season. While Atherton is no great prospect, he is young and has pitched reasonably well. For Pelfrey, I'd take just that.
     
    Trade Approved. You have to take anything you can get for Pelfrey.
     
    Jared Burton for Nelvin Fuentes
     
    I'd want a bit more for Burton. Fuentes is a pitcher with a bit more upside and he misses bats. He also has barely pitched above A ball and is 24-years-old. I'd want more upside in a Burton trade, simply because he is under contract for another two seasons and the Twins don't really have someone who can step into his role. However, they have plenty of guys who they could try in that role, and a good offer would be hard to pass up.
     
    Trade Approved. It's not a perfect return, but there are always random guys who can become setup men, as Burton proved last season.
     
    Kevin Correia for Nelvin Fuentes
     
    I'm not sure the return for Correia should be much different than the return for Burton. Correia is still relatively young and can be reasonably relied upon as a fifth starter, but he is nothing special. At 5 million in 2014, I might just keep him, rather than trade him for an A ball prospect. If Correia somehow became the Twins' fourth or fifth starter next season, he'd look a lot more attractive.
     
    Trade Denied. I think Correia will be worth keeping for the second year of his contract.
     
    Ryan Doumit for Logan Darnell
     
    Doumit is perfect for the Twins. He can spell Joe Mauer behind the plate and is one of the Twins' best hitters, despite being just about league-average (101 OPS+ in 2013). On other teams, with a more traditional backup catcher situation, Doumit would be a DH/corner outfielder who can't play outfield all that well. He fits best with the Twins, but if another team offered a AA or AAA pitcher with a good chance to reach the Majors, I would find it to be a fair return and let that team figure the rest out.
     
    Trade Approved. Chris Herrmann could reasonably replace him in the lineup right now and an extra arm in the system is a worthy return.
     
    Glen Perkins for Matthew Summers
     
    I'm not sure it's fair to use terms like "proven closer" and "established closer" with Perkins, but "dominant left-handed reliever" is apt. The fact that he has been closing for the Twins is a nice boost, as closers do tend to bring back greater returns than non-closers. However, teams seem to be learning that trading for closers is a exercise in futility (save for the Red Sox). Summers is a low-level prospect with big upside, so there is something intriguing here.
     
    Trade Denied. Are you kidding? Perkins is fantastic, the Twins should keep him.
     
    Justin Morneau for Hudson Boyd and Jason Wheeler
     
    Seeing Morneau hit one home run on Wednesday night and give air high fives almost made me completely flip on my feeling that the Twins should trade him for anything. Emotionally, I like Morneau as a player and enjoyed watching him become an MVP. In order to trade him, I'd want two pitching prospects, but I know that realistically, they wouldn't be top 25 prospects. Boyd sits right on the edge and Wheeler looks like he could be a solid reliever, if nothing else. This is the type of trade that is both reasonable and fair, however for emotional reasons...
     
    Trade Denied. I'd have to be blown away to trade one of the most popular players in recent history.
     
    Josh Willingham for Mason Melotakis
     
    Melotakis seems like he will either be a great reliever or a decent starter with upside. That kind of uncertainty is scary to many and as a result, many would be unwilling to part with a very popular player like Willingham. However, Willingham is 34 and while his OBP is still good, his power and batting average have dropped significantly. I was not a fan of trading Willingham last season, and I don't think the return would have been much better. Melotakis is the type of risk-reward player that the Twins could target, should they decide to move Willingham.
     
    Trade Approved. An Oswaldo Arcia-Aaron Hicks-Chris Parmelee outfield can work for a season or two, until Byron Buxton is available. Adding another high-upside arm is tough to pass up.
     
    Trevor Plouffe for Taylor Rogers and Hudson Boyd
     
    I'd aim very high for Plouffe. He's cheap, relatively young and has big power potential. He might sail the occasional throw at third and his OBP is not ideal. However, he has enough going for him to make me look for two lower level prospects with high upside, one of whom I am certain can start. Rogers seems to have the stuff to start and Boyd still has big upside.
     
    Trade Approved. Good luck getting another team to offer it though.
     
    Joe Mauer for Miguel Sano, Alex Meyer and Niko Goodrum
     
    Yep, that much. He's a franchise player and I am irrational about him. Mauer probably isn't worth that much right now, but I don't think the Twins would take anything but a "Godfather" offer, as Bill Simmons would say. Even so...
     
    Trade Denied. I just love him too much.
     
    If you know the Twins system well, you'll see that I did not offer any top 10-15 prospects for Twins current players, save for Mauer. That doesn't mean the Twins can't net top 10 prospects from other teams. The Twins system is loaded, and others are not. If the Twins decide to sell at the deadline, I would not be expecting huge returns. However, every little bit helps.
     
    Alexi Casilla was acquired for J.C. Romero. Jason Bartlett was acquired for Brian Buchanan. Nick Punto and Carlos Silva were acquired for Eric Milton. These aren't sexy names, but they were useful players who helped the Twins win divisions. If the Twins can make smart trades at the deadline, it shouldn't matter who they trade and who they keep.
     
    What does everyone think? Where am I waaaaaaay off? What trades do you feel are fair?
  2. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed! Direct your hate mail appropriately.
     
    Psst. You there. Yeah, you in the Twins hat and Joe Mauer shirsey. Put down that plush TC bear, I have a secret that I can't hold in any longer. This is very hard for me to say. I've been thinking about it for a long time and I've felt this way even longer. I can't hold it in; I need to confess to someone. I'm trusting you to keep my secret, but it won't be easy. Are you ready?
     
    I don't hate the Yankees.
     
    There, I said it. I don't hate them. I don't loathe them. I don't detest them. I don't even simply dislike them. In reality, I admire them. I respect them. I marvel at them. I like them. I like the way they play baseball. I like the way they reward their fans on the field. I like their history. I like their players. I even like their uniforms.
     
    I like the way they go about their business. Business might be the key word. The Yankees play baseball like a business. For many, a business-like approach to a professional sport is boring or even abhorrent. For someone like me, a person who demands efficiency and order, the Yankees are like an Excel Spreadsheet on a baseball diamond. I know exactly what they want to do within the game: take a lot of pitches, mash the mistakes, pitch methodically and wear out the other team. Above all else: win. It's all so well organized, sometimes I feel I can conditionally format them while I watch them play.
     
    I'm in awe of their history. As a Twins fan, I fondly remember both World Series titles, I remember all the playoff "runs" from the 2000s and I have heard wonderful stories from their successful 60s and 70s teams. However, the Yankee fan history is a completely different animal. Their fans can discuss which of their 27 World Series winners is the best. Twenty seven! They miss the playoffs about once in a generation. Only four franchises have made the playoffs as frequently as the Yankees have won the World Series. My goodness, to have their history.
     
    Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, CC Sabathia, Mike Mussina, Don Mattingly, Reggie Jackson, Mickey Mantle, Joe DiMaggio, Lou Gehrig, Babe Ruth... I could go on. The sheer number of superstar, Hall of Fame players is staggering. The Yankees can boast an all-time player, at any given point in their history. Whenever you watch the Yankees, you are watching greatness. Eventually, the Yankees are going to have to start issuing fractional or triple-digit uniform numbers, as they have retired a vast number of whole numbers. If you do hate their players, it can only be because you secretly wish they wore the Minnesota Twins uniform.
     
    I am jealous of their fans. I'm not happy to feel jealousy, but I can't help but wish that my favorite team went into each season with a realistic chance to win the World Series. While the fan experience has certainly diminished since the construction of New Yankee Stadium, you cannot discount the experience of watching the Yankees play baseball each and every year. In the average fan's lifetime, the Yankees are likely to win multiple championships. Is there another fan base who can make that claim?
     
    I even like their look. The pinstripes are timeless. They are the closest thing to a nice, designer suit that you'll find on the field. Somehow, their uniforms look even better when they get sullied. The dirt really accentuates the gray. Their hats are classic too. In fact, you could make the argument that the Twins borrowed their TC logo from the Yankee's NY logo. I like that they make their players shave stupid beards. I can't grow a beard, no one else should be allowed to either!
     
    As the Twins head toward a series with the Yankees, I know that many Twins fans will be looking forward to rooting against the Yankees almost as much as they look forward to rooting for the Twins. Not me. I'll root for the Twins, but I won't root against the Yankees any more than I would root against any given opponent. I might even secretly hope that Mariano Rivera gets into a game, just to see him in person one last time. The Yankees may be the evil empire, but they certainly play some great baseball.
     
    I apologize once more, but I can't change the way I feel. I don't hate the Yankees. I can't muster up the energy to try. In fact, when the Yankees aren't playing the Twins, I enjoy them. If you have to hate me as a result, I understand. This was not easy for me to confess. I've carried this secret like a lush gift basket given to a lucky lady after a chance encounter with the great Derek Jeter. I can't get rid of it, but I also don't really want to admit to having it. Does this make me a bad Twins fan? Maybe it does. I just don't know anymore. I feel so conflicted.
     
    Alas, it isn't all bad. I do hate Alex Rodriguez. He's a dolt.
  3. Brad Swanson
    The Twins dropped two of three from the Tigers this weekend, falling to 7.5 games out of a division that they were never going to win. While the Twins have played better in 2013, they still do not have the talent to match the Tigers over a full season. Yet, there were some positives from the weekend and I have some apologies to make as well.
     
    I apologize to Clete Thomas. Just one week ago, I accused a wild turkey of creating a lineup that featured Clete Thomas batting second. While I still feel that Thomas in the top half of an order is a move made out of desperation, it hasn't been a disaster because Thomas isn't as terrible as I made him out to be. He strikes out a lot and he doesn't walk, but he can hit the ball and he plays a solid center field. Clete, I don't despise you. Unless he takes at bats from Aaron Hicks when Hicks is healthy. Then, I lose it.
     
    I apologize to Sam Deduno. I expected nothing but chaos from Deduno, and while I have been partially right, he has been more effective than I thought he would be. Two things: he doesn't throw hard and he doesn't get strikeouts. So, he might be more effective than I thought he would be, but it's because he has gotten ground balls at a ridiculous 61.8% rate. He has also limited home runs and stranded runners very well. If all of these skills are real, then he can be effective long-term. If he's been lucky (and watching him, he has been lucky), then this could all fall apart quickly.
     
    I apologize to Trevor Plouffe. I think he wears too much eye black, but perhaps I am wrong. Since his return from the DL, he has hit the ball very well. I thought the lack of eye black over his rehab would make for a tough adjustment upon his return. I was wrong. Perhaps he wore the eye black while injured.
     
    Saturday's game was the best of the weekend, not only because the Twins won, but because I was able to watch Glen Perkins pitch. I love to watch Glen Perkins pitch. He struck out Torii Hunter, which I always enjoy. It's more than that though. Perkins comes in and challenges hitters. He knows he has good stuff and he forces hitters to deal with it. He pumps that fastball until he needs to go to his secondary stuff and he commands his pitches extremely well. It's a shame his role only allows for him to pitch in very specific game situations.
     
    Enough with apologies and admiration, here is some madness:
     
    Former Twin Update:
     
    Danny Valencia has somehow become a fairly regular contributor to the Baltimore Orioles. I honestly thought his MLB career was over when the Twins shipped him out for bubble gum last season. Instead, he crushed AAA this season and earned a call-up to Baltimore. He doesn't need his glove anymore, as Baltimore isn't going to let him see any time in the field unless they get desperate. At the plate, he has slugged over .650 in limited DH duty this season. Baltimore is using him more against lefties, and he is crushing them as he always has. Perhaps Valencia has found his role. Cool, good for him.
     
    Random Paint Image
     
    For those who have read anything I have written this season, it is clear that I am the biggest Aaron Hicks defender/bobo in the fan base. As such, this was how I reacted when I heard that Hicks was injured and needed time on the DL:
     
    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-u-e4CMJsDCI/UbaYWfjxOcI/AAAAAAAAAuY/OuPjtCAhj9c/s320/mehicks.png
     
    I did get a haircut since this was drawn. It looks worse.
     
    The One Save Club
     
    Since 1961, there are 176 MLB players who have recorded exactly one save and have not started a single game. Odd combo, I agree, but taking starters out removes guys like Johan Santana, who started their careers in long relief. Your task is to name as many of the 12 Twins who have accomplished this feat. Not all 12 earned their save with the Twins. Please leave names in the comments. One player is currently playing for the Twins. I'll post the 12 names at some point, if I remember.
     
    Fun Baseball Card From the Past
     
    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-b_voR0MMpdg/Ub4lPkTqQsI/AAAAAAAAAuo/hnkuERZXNjw/s320/shane_mack.jpg
     
     

    First, I wrote about baseball cards on Friday. If you missed it, you can read it here. You should seriously consider buying the Joe Mauer card.
    Second, these Studio cards were awesome. I believe the idea was that they were shot in a studio.
    Third, Shane Mack, if you read my blog for some reason, please let me know. I'd love to set up an interview. Not for an article or anything like that, just for me.
    Fourth, Mack was underrated. He did not get enough credit for his mustache.

    Links to some funny baseball stuff:
     
    I am not ashamed to admit that I love Grant Brisbee. I think he is funny and that is all it takes for me. This week, he chronicled the Dodgers-Diamondbacks brawl and then later graded the suspensions that were handed out as a result (of the brawl, not his article). If you like to laugh, you should read them. If you hate to laugh, you should not read them.
     
    Link to something stupid I wrote:
     
    The Twins released Anthony Slama last week, which was only notable to me because I knew it would allow me to display my vast knowledge of school-yard jerkery. I created a (fake) time line of events that shows a pattern of poor behavior toward Slama. You can read it here. It's complete stupidity.
     
    Parting Stat!
     
    The Twins play the hated White Sox this week. There have been only 8 players in MLB history who have played exclusively for the White Sox and Twins: Glenn Borgmann, Jesse Crain, Joe Crede, Jerry Crider, Eduardo Escobar, Pedro Hernandez, Randy Johnson (not the right one though), and Cotton Nash.
     
    You're probably thinking, "hey dippy, what about Earl Battey?" Well, Battey played one year for the Washington Senators, and that makes him a fat cat bureaucrat.
     
    Have a nice week, everyone!
  4. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!
     
    Ranking players is the single most important thing we can do as fans. If we don't know when players are better than other players, how can we properly argue about things? I certainly do not want to live in a world where rankings don't matter. However, the traditional measures - WAR, height, pants length, nicknames - are flawed. My solution: we agree to rank players based on the cost of their rookie card.
     
    I'm just going to say this, and I know it makes me sound like I'm a million years old, but baseball cards are too dern complicated. I searched eBay for this exercise and I am more confused than I would have ever thought possible. There are cards, then there are cards with different colored borders, then there are cards called "refractors." I had to look up what that word means - "one that refracts." Super helpful, dictionary. To refract is to deflect light. Why do baseball cards need to deflect light? Are we secretly developing baseball card technology to assist with fixing tears in the space/time continuum? What is going on? I am more upset than confused and I am really confused.
     
    I'm not that upset. If refractor technology exists, I suppose a baseball card is the best possible use for it. I was confused, but I've recovered. Anyway, since you know baseball cards are weird now, I present to you the ten best Twins, ranked by the cost of their most expensive rookie card. This is just simple science. I did an eBay search for each current Twin (including Aaron Hicks because I break all the rules) and made a dope spreadsheet. You can see it here.
     
    Oh, and every player has like 5000 rookie cards now, so if I got anything wrong, just calm the H down. Click each description to view/purchase the card on eBay.
     
    10. Kevin Correia - 2003 Upper Deck Rookie Card BGS 9.5 GEM MINT Giants Twins - $79.99
     
    Point, Terry Ryan. Obviously, Ryan knew to look up Correia's rookie card. I love the way people label their cards on eBay. Basically, you have to do anything it takes to get people to happen to search for your card. In this case, the seller knows that no one will ever look for a Correia rookie card, so you have to litter your description with other words that people might like. 80 bucks seems like a lot for any card, but this one is GEM MINT! If you are anything like me, you remember that guy with the mustache selling baseball cards in the middle of the night. Everything was gem mint, which I think is a good thing. I'm guessing it isn't a flavor.
     
    9. Josh Willingham - 2003 Bowman Chrome GOLD Refractor SP Rookie Card RC /170 TWINS - $95.99
     
    There's a lot going on here, so here are some translations for those who are not searching for baseball cards often. SP means short print, which I am assuming makes it more rare. /170 means there were only 170 of these cards made. RC is rookie card and also redundant when written right after the words "rookie card." The most baffling thing to me is that this card is $95.99. What kind of sociopath picks $95.99? I bet this seller tells people that he'll arrive at 7:13 and that he's about .37 miles away. Anyway, the card might be worth a little extra because Willingham is wearing one of those wrap-around ear flaps. Also, he was a first baseman, meaning he improved on the defensive spectrum as he aged. Value!
     
    8. Glen Perkins - 2007 Exquisite Collection Rookie Futures Auto Silver Spectrum /5 - $99.99
     
    This card is worth more because it has been autographed. The autograph sits right on a little plate, which is cute! This particular one is 4/5, and it makes me wonder if number 1 or 5 would be worth a bit more. This one is a history card as well, stating that "Perkins shines in his first contest on the hill." I wonder if Exquisite made cards like these in later years. For instance, "Perkins files his first grievance against the Twins" and "Perkins fails as a starter." That last one was unkind. A hundred bucks is a lot to spend, but you could own all five of these cards for just $500. No info on if it is gem mint or not.
     
    7. Trevor Plouffe - SP Prospects Auto Rookie BGS 9.5/10 #'d/400 Minnesota Twins - $99.99
     
    Plouffe wins the tie-breaker over Perkins because he had a second card also costing $100. This one is more fun than the other. Plouffe looks like he is 18 years old. He was. But, he also looks like James Franco. He wasn't. This one also contains a signature and is BGS 9.5/10. I looked that up and it means that Beckett has graded it for the seller. I grade papers all the time, maybe I should get Beckett to do them for me. There isn't much to this card. Plouffe is wearing a plain black hat and plain black shirt. I'm guessing SP did not have an MLB license, or Plouffe was trying to lose a few pounds of water weight.
     
    6. Brian Dozier - 2012 Topps Chrome Baseball Rc Rookie Red Refractor Parallel 01/25 - $100.25
     
    That extra quarter is really making me reconsider. Here's some solid research for you: most "chrome" cards come with various colored parallels. In this case, red is rare. There are also blues, golds, greens, xfractors (which we'll talk about later) and purples (personal fave). A hundred bucks for a Brian Dozier card is borderline crazy. This is especially true when you take advantage of this offer: 1,500 Brian Dozier rookie cards for $199.99! If you've ever thought to yourself, "man, I wish I had like 1,500 Brian Dozier rookie cards so I can swim in them like in Ducktales" then this is the eBay item for you. I did the math, that's 13 cents per card. Savings!
     
    5. Aaron Hicks - 2011 BOWMAN CHROME RC ROOKIE GOLD REFRACTOR 14/50 - $179.99
     
    If you had one of the fifty Aaron Hicks gold refractor rookie cards, you'd be shouting too. This one has been written on by Hicks, which the seller fails to mention. You'd think if you were trying to draw attention to your item by shouting, you'd mention one of the qualities that makes it most valuable. Regardless, this card looks very shiny. I certainly did not have any cards from my childhood that were this shiny. I noticed that it says "Topps certified autograph issue" but it was a Bowman card. I thought this must have been a huge conspiracy or a photoshop or some other shenanigans, but Topps and Bowman are the same company. How disappointing.
     
    4. Chris Parmelee - 2006 Bowman Chrome GOLD REFRACTOR SP JERSEY 27/50 Rookie Card RC - $279.99
     
    You're probably thinking "280 bucks for a Chris Parmelee anything?" Well one, it's an investment and two, it's marked down from $350. That's a 20% savings that you can apply to your Brian Dozier rookie card orgy. The description says "JERSEY," which confused me. First, there are cards that have pieces of jerseys in them. This is not one of those. Second, I thought maybe Parmelee is from New Jersey. He's not. I read the description and it says jersey because 27 is his jersey number and that is the number printed on the card. Well then.
     
    3. Oswaldo Arcia - 2013 BOWMAN - MINI RED REFRACTOR ROOKIE #CC-MT3 5/5 SP!! TWINS - $299.00
     
    I searched for "Oswaldo Arcia Rookie Card" and eBay switched it to "Oswaldo Garcia Rookie Card" and proceeded to give me results for Arcia. I immediately assumed that #CC-MT3 was some sort of robot, but it's just the card number. Also disappointing. This is a mini-card, so it's smaller. It also looks like it was rained on. I get that there are mini-cards and refractors, but it completely blows my mind that we have the technology to create mini refractor cards. And yet, we can't get to Mars.
     
    2. Justin Morneau - 2001 BOWMAN CHROME XFRACTOR JUSTIN MORNEAU ROOKIE PSA 9 - $499.99
     
    Morneau is listed as a catcher on this card. If you look closely though, he appears to be pitching while wearing catching gear. Safety first! According to the seller, "Card features very nice centering??" Not only is the seller not sure, he's double not sure. If you are purchasing this card for its centering, you might want to reconsider. "Xfractor" is not in the dictionary. I did look though. It appears that this technology makes the card look pixelated and might give you headaches. Perhaps this is the plan. If we can refract and xfract all at the same time, we could really do some damage.
     
    1. Joe Mauer - 2002 BOWMAN'S BEST RED ROOKIE AUTO PSA 10 1/3 - $3,549.99
     
    Finally, some metric shows Mauer's true value. This card has Mauer's name all over it. Literally; he autographed it. In addition, it looks pretty cool. It has the "M" logo in the back and Mauer is laying a sweet swing. It is GEM MINT 10!!! However, the "o's" and "a's" look a bit similar, so his name kind of looks like Joe Mouer. Joe Mouer can't carry a 3500 card. As it is, I can't imagine spending that much money on a baseball card, even if he did write his name on it. If nothing else, this clearly shows that Mauer is at least seven times better than anyone else on the team and roughly 35 times better than Josh Willingham.
     
    By the way, you can own Jamey Carroll's rookie card for the very affordable cost of 1 dollar with 1 dollar shipping. What a slap in the face. Perhaps if Carroll writes his name on the card, it could fetch five dollars.
     
    At long last, we have settled the debate of who the ten best Twins players are. You can officially update your personal rankings now. Maybe this was a flawed exercise. If nothing else, we have all learned that baseball cards are needlessly complicated, refractor technology can only take us so far, and if a guy writes his name all over your card, it improves the value. Happy collecting!
  5. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!
     
    The 2013 MLB draft has come and gone. The Twins have added somewhere between 20 and 40 new players to their organization and I have no clue who 99% of them are. I do have access to Baseball Reference and the internet as a whole. In an effort to better acquaint myself with some future Twins, I will also subject each of you to a bunch of clumsily constructed jokes and feeble attempts at punnery. In that way, we all benefit.
     
    I also plan to make statements regarding players I have never seen. But then, that's what makes me such a colorful character/scamp.
     
    I also threw together some 25 Drafts in 25 Days Bonus Features, as if that were a thing that anyone would want. You can find it here: 25 Drafts DVD Bonus Features. It's easily the most self-indulgent thing I have ever done, and I once made a t-shirt of my own face.
     
    1st Round Pick
     
    With the fourth pick in the 2013 MLB Rule 4 draft, the Minnesota Twins selected Kohl Stewart, a right-handed starting pitcher out of St. Pius X High School in Tomball, Texas. Now that all the formal stuff is out of the way, I need to figure out a good way to work in a Kohls "joke." Stewart is an exciting young player. He throws hard and apparently has a nasty slider. I watched some video of him and I don't see any future loose or torn ligaments, so that's positive.
     
    I feel a bit badly for him, as he has to follow the legend of Byron Buxton, but hopefully everyone will remember that each player is different and we're all humans and be kind rewind, and whatnot. I know that I am excited that there is even a possibility that the Twins just selected a player who could one day become an Ace.
     
    Ah, but what if?
     
    The 2013 draft was characterized by the emergence of a "big three." Mark Appel and Jonathan Gray are two college pitchers considered to be high-end talents with great stuff and great command. Each could move through their new systems quickly. Kris Bryant is a power-hitting third baseman. Power-hitting is an understatement. At one point, he had hit more home runs than about 75% of college teams. Teams, Jerry! Each was drafted in the top three, so the Twins did not even have an opportunity to grab them. But what if they had dropped?
     
    It seems the Twins would have taken Stewart anyway, which would have opened them up to criticism. Luckily for everyone, Stewart was the best available player at 4 and the Twins liked him a lot. Win win.
     
    Best Late Round Pick
     
    The guy from Minnesota, right? Logan Shore pitched for Coon Rapids High School and the Twins drafted him in the 29th round. From what it sounds like, he will not sign with the Twins and instead will head to the University of Florida. I had a mean Coon Rapids joke here, but I don't have the heart for it. I love Coon Rapids. They have a Popeyes.
     
    Who'll be the first to reach the Majors?
     
    I have no clue. However, second-round pick Ryan Eades seems like he could make it to Minnesota before anyone else. Eades is far from MLB-ready, but he is older than many of the players the Twins drafted. Age is more than a number, Aaliyah. Eades didn't strike out a lot of batters in college, but coming to the Twins organization should solve that issue. Plus, he already had his major arm surgery, so that certainly gives him an additional boost. If he is good enough, he could be the first.
     
    Best Prospects
     

    Kohl Stewart is by far the best prospect from this group. That doesn't mean that a couple guys can't jump up and join him, but when you look at this equation, it's hard to argue for anyone else: age + stuff + delivery + Texas + pitcher + upside + name stars with K + K stands for strikeout = best prospect.
    Ryan Eades seemed to be a bit of an unpopular pick. His strikeout rate made everyone nutty, assuming the Twins had reverted back to their P2C ways. However, I actually like this pick. Eades has performed well in college and has held up after his labrum surgery. The 43rd pick is hardly a place where constant all-stars are found. If Eades can be a 4th or 5th starter, this would be a fantastic pick.
    4th-round pick Stephen Gonsalves could be a guy who jumps up the Twins' prospect list, if he develops. Check out his . There's a lot going on in that wind-up, but his delivery looks fine. Working with pro coaches can only help. Anyway, he looks projectable, he's 6'5", he's left-handed, he throws in the 90s already, he looks athletic and he has a sweet name. I'm drooling. This could be a great pick.
    3rd-round pick Stuart Turner, 6th-round pick Brian Navarretto, and 9th-round pick Mitchell Garver all share one quality: they protect the umpires. As catchers, they also represent one of the weaker areas in the Twins system. Each is considered a good defensive catcher, while Navarretto probably has some added offensive upside. He has also already punched at least one opposing player. Turner had great stats, but isn't considered to have much offensive upside. However, if any of these three can become even a quality backup catcher, it would be a win. Everyone loves home runs, but singles and walks win games too. Analogy!

    Best Name
     
    35th-Round Pick Nick Lemoncelli
     
    Fun Facts
     

    The Twins selected Tanner Vavra in the 30th round. Not only is he Joe Vavra's son, but he is also blind in one eye. That's amazing. I literally have better than perfect vision (20/15, I know, bragger) and I can't hit a baseball to save my life. Good for him, I hope he makes it.
    Torii Hunter Jr was drafted in the 36th round, by Torii Hunter's Detroit Tigers. If you asked me, "Brad, what is Torii Hunter's son's name? Bear in mind, you get one guess and if you are wrong, I get to punch you in the trachea," I would guess Torii. In fact, it wouldn't shock me if Torii names all his kids, pets, bats, gloves, and just about anything Torii. The man loves Torii. Proof of concept - I asked my wife the same question (no trachea threat). Her response - Torii Jr. She didn't even hesitate.
    Zack Granite was drafted in the 14th round. If baseball doesn't work out, he would make a beautiful statue.
    The Twins did not draft Cory Hahn. The Diamondbacks selected him in the 34th round. If you don't know his story, Hahn was paralyzed when he slid into second base in his third college game with ASU. Hahn was a legit player, winning California's Mr. Baseball in 2010 and playing for Team USA while in high school. He wore number 34 for ASU and the Diamondbacks took him in round 34. Very cool. They want to get him into their front office. Baseball is cool.

    2013 Twins? 2015 Twins?
     
    It's lunacy to think that any of these guys will play for the Twins in 2013. However, I do think there is an outside chance that Eades and/or Turner play for the 2015 Twins. If Turner is as good defensively as advertised, he might be able to back-up Joe Mauer in a couple seasons. If Eades is as "Twinspitchery" as advertised, he could be a spot starter by 2015.
     
    One Sentence Summary
     
    Twins Daily dominated 2013 Twins draft coverage.
  6. Brad Swanson
    The Scott Diamond Matrix?
     
    I made you a matrix:
     
    [TABLE=class: grid, width: 439]


    [/TD][TD]Plus Command

    Average Command


    Plus Stuff
    Jordan Zimmermann
    Sam Deduno


    Average Stuff
    Scott Diamond
    Rich Robertson
    [/TABLE]
     
    I chose to use the word "average" to be kind to all stakeholders. By average, I mean not plus. By plus, I mean great. In hindsight, these words would have been fine.
     
    Moving on, when you look at Jordan Zimmermann's numbers, you don't see a pitcher that much different from Scott Diamond. He doesn't strike out a ton of batters, although certainly more than Diamond. He gets ground balls and limits home runs. When you watch the two, especially when they pitch against each other, you can see the differences clearly.
     
    Zimmermann has better stuff. His fastball is better, he locates that fastball better and his secondary stuff is better. You wouldn't necessarily see that on paper, but it's hard to ignore when watching the two throw baseballs at batters. I threw in Sam Deduno and Rich Robertson to complete the matrix, not to take shots. Diamond will never have Zimmermann's stuff, so his margin of error is smaller. Deduno will never have Zimmermann's command, so he needs to rely more on his stuff. Rich Robertson is retired, so he will really struggle to get MLB hitters out.
     
    Pedro Florimon is pretty cool.
     
    Pedro Florimon has become pretty much what I had hoped he would become. In fact, I'm on record in the pro-Florimon column prior to the season's start. Don't believe me? Pudding. See, I'm so amazeing. Whoops, spelled that wrong. Cancelled out.
     
    Regarding Florimon, he's a steady, sometimes spectacular shortstop who can hit above .220. His plate discipline has improved, as his strikeout rate has decreased and his walk rate has increased. By any WAR-type measure, Florimon has been worth around one win this season. This projects to a 2.5-3.0 WAR player by season's end. I'll take that at shortstop, especially at a league minimum salary.
     
    Chris Parmelee is underwhelming.
     
    I was in the middle of writing about how I don't think Chris Parmelee is getting better when he lined a double off the top of the wall in the 6th inning of Game 1 on Sunday. I thought to myself, "Brad, he's got a nice swing, he hits some doubles, give him a chance." Then FSN put the "Chris Parmelee - 6th double on the season" graphic up. I feel my original thoughts are confirmed. Parmelee isn't getting better. I still think it would be wise to give him at least another month of starts. By July, if he is still hitting like he is right now, I'd call up Oswaldo Arcia and improve the team.
     
    Defending Aaron Hicks^n, when n = all the time
     
    I'm not going to expend any more energy writing about Aaron Hicks. I defended him immensely in my Friday mailbag. While it may seem crazy to move a .175 hitter up in the batting order, I think it is a wise move. Looking at who sits at the bottom of the order, Hicks at least has some power. He's still not going to get a lot of hits, but when he does, those hits could lead to runs. It makes sense while not making any sense.
     
    Speaking of not making any sense, here is some madness:
     
    Photoshop/Baseball Card from Past:
     
    Twins Daily member chuchadoro enjoyed my FSN girls/Gary Wayne photoshop but said that he prefers Keith Atherton to Gary Wayne. Fair enough. I dug up an Atherton card and made him this:
     
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--PcrjmzAqXc/UbTmbouf8KI/AAAAAAAAAuA/SlpdH5KJS-Y/s320/foxsportsathertongirls.png
     
    You know what? I think we're on to something.
     
    Former Twin Update: Francisco Liriano
     
    More like Fantastic Liriano! Through 36 innings with Pittsburgh, he's posted an ERA of 1.75 with a 1.17 WHIP. He currently has a walk rate lower than he has posted since 2010. He is also posting a higher strikeout rate than any season since before his TJ surgery. I don't think the Twins should have signed him, simply because of their history, but I am not surprised that he is pitching well. He isn't this good, but he should help the Pirates as they try to make the playoffs for the first time in 20 years.
     
    Random Facebook Question - In reference to 1st-round pick Kohl Stewart
     
    Q: Great! So we'll see him in 6 years? That's if he doesn't go play QB for Texas A&M and go pro right?
     
    A: Oh, you are just the best kind of fan. Does everyone remember the scene at the end of Major League 2 when "Wild Thing" comes out of the bullpen to face Parkman in the ALCS and that one annoying fan has been razzing him for months? Vaughn basically tells the fan to "stick it" but with more colorful language. So, fans like these should be repeatedly told where they can stick comments like these and they should be told these things directly by the players.
     
    My proposal: One offensive fan per game. At the beginning of the game, the fan stands in the outfield while each player on the roster walks past telling them what their "loyalty" means to them. Basically, it's the hockey playoffs "props" line, but with insults and possibly curse words added in place of handshakes. The fan has to just stand there and take it. It's certainly controversial, but I know I would enjoy it. It might get me to a game in person too.
     
    Top 5 List - Why is Clete Thomas batting second?
     

    Clete Thomas wears number 11 and 1 + 1 = 2
    2 people think it's a good idea, so that's where he'll bat
    Batting second enhances his arm accuracy and arm strength
    Lineup is alphabetical (this could be refuted using knowledge)
    This turkey was put in charge of making the lineup:

     
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yCzQ2Pn4Sto/UbTlcm6i7FI/AAAAAAAAAt4/kFuYkJl51A0/s320/turkey1.jpg
     
    Link to Something I wrote:
     
    I found some fun Twins batting records a couple months ago. You can read it here. The only reason I post this now is that I promised to find pitching records and I still plan to do so. Perhaps this week. I appreciate your patience, I am very busy photoshopping Keith Atherton and Gary Wayne's head in places.
     
    Poll Results!
     
    I had posted a poll on my blog and I have the results!
     
    Question - Which Twins Prospect do you look forward to the most? - 157 votes
     

    Byron Buxton - 78 votes
    Miguel Sano - 53 votes
    Alex Meyer - 5 votes
    Frank Stallone - 21 votes

    Ouch, I would have expected Meyer to fare better than Stallone, but you never know until you collect the data. Buxton surged ahead of Sano in the past week or so.
     
    I posted a new poll, please take a moment to vote. Democracy!
     
    Parting Haiku:
     
    Here come the Phillies
    Ben Revere is back for now
    Straighten your hat, man
     
    Have a great week!
  7. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!
     
    With the conclusion of my landmark 25 drafts in 25 days feature, I decided that I needed to stop relying so heavily on gimmicks. It's time to do some real analysis and actually offer something of value. No more insulting everyone with silly lists and bad photoshops. It's time to take things very seriously.
     
    So, here's a fake mailbag:
     
    What do you think of the Kohl Stewart pick?
    ~Prospect Guys, Twins Daily (question likely aimed at someone with more knowledge/street cred/common sense)
     
    I love it. Considering the players who were available, Stewart was the best pick. Obviously, if any of the "big three" had fallen to four, I would have liked for the Twins to jump on them. However, with those three drafted, it seems that Stewart was clearly the best available prospect and he filled a need to boot. While Stewart is unlikely to contribute to the Twins within the next few years, he certainly helps add to the excitement for the future. If fans can be patient for a year or so more, things will start to turn around. Teams with oodles of top prospects improve. Unless they're the Royals. Then they don't.
     
    Kansas City is a nice place though.
     
    Also, even if Stewart never reaches Minnesota, it can still be the right pick. The MLB draft is so hard to predict and taking a teenager is no sure bet. Stewart can flame out and still be the right choice. Things change; that's the way it is.
     
    Clete Thomas was called up recently. Don't you think he deserved it? Don't you expect him to be freaking fantastic?
     
    ~Everyone, Twitter
     
    No and no. Clete Thomas played well at AAA but unless he's bringing AAA pitchers with him to Minnesota, I don't see his MLB career taking off any time soon. Thomas is a replacement level player who can play center field if needed. Hopefully, he'll be around to spell Aaron Hicks from time to time and nothing more. I don't expect him to help the team win and I don't expect him to do anything of significance. I also don't think he'll be on the team at the end of the season.
     
    Summary: Not a fan. I also don't think he "earned" a call-up. Sure, he played well for Rochester, but he's 29. He's not part of the future and he doesn't help enough in the present. It's great that he mastered AAA but that's all his performance means. I don't really care that he is on the active roster, so long as he doesn't start playing regularly. Basically, stay off my lawn, Clete Thomas.
     
    What do you think of the Fox Sports North Girls? How would you improve their role with the Twins?
     
    ~Wife, St. Paul, MN
     
    Well, I have one idea:
     
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MPeREQtthSA/UbE_6J6pBpI/AAAAAAAAAtQ/9LPH4uEu4zM/s320/foxsportswaynegirls.png
     
    Replacing the Fox Sports North Girls with three Gary Waynes could be profitable.
     
    Byron Buxton?
     
    ~B. Swanson, St. Paul, MN
     
    Excellent question. Yes. Holy smokes this guy is crazy. It seems like his legend grows every day. Keith Law rated him as the second best prospect in baseball. Jason Parks seems somewhat smitten. The experts and scouts are comparing him to Eric Davis, Mike Trout and Willie Mays. Yowee.
     
    Is there any harm in this? I don't think so. Honestly, the fact that he is building a legend when so far from the Majors kind of makes it more fun. Even if he flames out (and I don't see that happening) we will at the very least have this legendary figure that we will remember for a long time. I love it. I love larger than life figures. Can you imagine Buxton's MLB debut? How electric is that crowd going to be? He isn't going to be a normal prospect; he's gone mainstream.
     
    The average top prospect is still a relative unknown. My father-in-law sent me a text about Buxton this week and his Twins texts are usually devoted to talking about how Joe Mauer doesn't hit home runs or misspelling names like Donit and Parmesan. He wants to release Aaron Hicks. Just release him.
     
    Buxton has crossed over. He's the Enrique Iglesias of the Twins Minor Leagues. If he wants to Bailamos, I'll do it. Just watch me.
     
    What's your deal with Aaron Hicks?
    ~Haters, Everywhere
     
    There is a classic scene in the classic movie Little Big League when classic character Billy Heywood watches his favorite player get a seeing-eye single for his first hit in what must have been ages. Billy gets very excited and turns to his pitching coach as if to say, "see, I told you so." The wise pitching coach basically points out that if Billy is this excited about a seeing-eye single, then what does that really say about his favorite player?
     
    I now realize that I act in the same way when Aaron Hicks gets a hit. It's quite sad. I've basically turned into a 10-year-old MLB manager, which is pretty much everything I hate. Every Hicks hit ends with me pumping my fist, running around my living room and doing the Charleston. Billy ends up releasing his favorite player; what will happen to me?
     
    I so badly want Aaron Hicks to break out or just string together a few good games in a row. He's certainly playing better than he was in April, but he's still not great. Now Clete Thomas is around to bogart at bats with his weird eyes and I feel threatened. Hicks has made improvements, but maybe not enough. I don't know anymore. I feel as though I have been constantly defending him and the Twins' decision to keep playing him. It's exhausting. I still don't see any reason to send him to AAA, but I've also clearly snapped. I wrote this "piece" a few weeks ago which basically called for the limitation of free speech.
     
    Free speech is one of my favorites! I've gone mad. I just hope I don't have to be the one to tell Hicks that he has to go to Rochester. I would be an odd choice for a variety of reasons.
     
    What is the one thing you would do to improve baseball?
     
    ~@bridman77, on Twitter
     
    Two words: Magnets everywhere.
     
    Thanks for reading everyone, have a nice weekend!
  8. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!
    I have reached the end of my journey. Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go, Twins' drafts. It's unnatural. As such, I wanted to thank everyone for the positive feedback and for simply reading these recaps. I really enjoyed the research and I really enjoyed sharing what I found. I also appreciate the support from Twins Daily and their willingness to put these on the Front Page. I think the proudest moment I have had in my short time blogging is seeing the phrase "Do you remember the Willenium?" on the front of Twins Daily.
     
    But seriously, more people have read these than I could have ever dreamed and that really means a lot to me. Thanks to this wonderful community of Twins fans. If you missed 2011, just click the year. I don't quote any 90s R&B, but I did disparage the city of Circle Pines. Also, if you missed any from before that, I did try to organize all of the recaps in one place. This is that one place.
     
    Here is 2012:
     
    You'll have to forgive me if this final draft recap is a bit hard to read. I am literally crying while typing it. Finishing anything is always bittersweet, plus when I cry, I breathe very heavily and wheeze so that I am literally blowing tears from my mouth while sobbing and sniffling. You can imagine what that does to a laptop. I'm very resilient, so I present to you the final installment of 25 drafts in 25 days, at least until I decide that I am out of other ideas.
     
    Oh yeah, 2012 was like a year ago, so this should all be berry fresh.
     
    1st Round Picks
     
    BYRON BUXTON! I'm guessing it won't be long until we are all typing his name like that. Buxton was the second overall pick and is currently pillaging Cedar Rapids with his bat and glove. Honesty time - I thought the Twins should have taken Albert Almora. I'm so freaking stupid sometimes (all the time). I just thought Almora was equally toolsy, younger and had a better track record (track record for Pete's sake, we're talking about high school kids, what kind of track record... such an idiot). Obviously, I was wrong.
     
    The Twins also added Jose Berrios who looks like he might be the most confident person on the planet, with the 32nd overall pick and Luke Bard, who has an older brother, with the 42nd overall pick. Now, had the Twins drafted Almora with one of these picks, it would have been genius. It would have also been illegal.
     
    Ah, but what if?
     
    Well, Kevin Gausman is in the Majors... That is an inside joke that I'm not fully sure that I understand. If the Twins had selected any player over Buxton, there would be riots in the streets of Anoka County. One might ask, "did the Gopher hockey team just win another National Championship?" Nope, Twins fans are rioting because people are comparing Buxton to Willie Mays and the Twins selected Albert Almora and his broken hand. Luckily, I am barely in charge of making decisions in my house, much less for the Twins, so it's all good.
     
    Best Late Round Pick
     
    Oh goodness, I don't know, D.J. Baxendale? He was the Twins' tenth-round pick and he carved up Fort Myers like Razor Ramon. He was such a chico that the Twins moved him to New Britain. He's moving fast, which I think people enjoy.
     
    Who'll be the first to reach the Majors?
     
    Baxendale is certainly in the lead, as he is currently in AA. However, I'm going to defy all logic and guess that it will be Buxton. Here's how I see it playing out. Buxton just shows up at Target Field one night and stares at Ron Gardenhire until he gets put in the lineup. He then goes 5-5, hits for the cycle, robs a home run, pitches a scoreless ninth for the save, posts a triple-double, assists on two goals, solves the energy crisis and reunites the rest of Nirvana with Zombie Kurt Cobain. He then disappears forever.
     
    But more likely, Baxendale since he's already in AA.
     
    Best Prospects
     

    BUXTON!
    Jose Berrios just turned 19 and looks to be a player who will continue to rise up through the system and up prospect lists. If I remember correctly, he wasn't a big-time prospect because he wasn't very tall. That's crazy. Regardless, the Twins benefit from this blatant height discrimination as Berrios looks like a stud.
    Third-round pick Adam Walker has a crud-load of power. He hit a whole mess of bombs in rookie ball last season, and is adding more bombs at Cedar Rapids this season. Walker has huge power, but strikes out a lot. Oh well, so do a lot of guys. Power plays, and he's only 21. He's from Milwaukee, but clearly hated it enough to go to college in Jacksonville, Florida.
    Fifth-round pick Tyler Duffey is allergic to walks. He has walked just eight batters in 77.1 pro innings. That sounds awfully Slowey to me. Hopefully, he hates books so he can fit in with the other players.
    Luke Bard throws hard. That's fantastic. He shares half of his DNA with brother Daniel, but that is just science. He is going to try to make a successful conversion to become a starter, but still might have value as a reliever if all else fails.

    Best Name
     
    Alex Liquori in the 39th round.
     
    Fun Facts
     

    As is common with most recent drafts, the Twins can boast a lot of interesting prospects from the 2012 draft. Including: second-round pick Mason Melotakis, second-round comp pick J.T. Chargois, 4th-round pick Zach Jones, and 11th-round pick Taylor Rogers.
    21st-round pick Bo Altobelli is a talented hair-stylist. Not true.
    The Twins received compensation picks in the first and second rounds for Michael Cuddyer, but just a first-round comp pick for Jason Kubel.
    9th-round pick L.J. Mazilli did not sign with the team, but come one, he was a 9th-round pick and none of those guys ever pan out. Right, Frank Catalanotto?

    2013 Twins?
     
    Come on, this is a stupid category. These guys were just drafted. Although, I won't rule out the Buxton scenario I outlined earlier.
     
    One Sentence Summary
     
    Researching 25 Minnesota Twins drafts in 25 days was really fun; thank you all for reading!
     
    Link to the Twins' 2012 draft from Baseball Reference
  9. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!
     
    I didn't catch any of the Twins' series with Seattle this weekend, so it seemed a bit disingenuous to write about it. I'm sure everyone will survive a week without stupid photoshops and my silly antics. Instead, I present to you another draft, one day early. If you missed my 2008 or 2009 summary, you can click the year and check them out. I did declare my secret love for a player, so that is certainly worth seeking out.
     
    Here is 2010:
     
    2009 was the final Twins' draft to produce a Twins player. Obviously, these recent drafts are quite recent and thus there is plenty of time to produce some MLB players in the future. It just hasn't happened yet. As such, these recaps need to change a bit. As Shannon Hoon said, "when life is hard, you have to change." Life is hard, so even though I just made changes a few drafts ago, further changes are needed. I'm not sure why you need to know this. Perhaps I couldn't come up with a good opening. We'll never know.
     
    1st Round Pick
     
    The Twins selected The Alex Wimmers, a right-handed starter out of The Ohio State University, with the 21st overall pick. The Twins went consecutive drafts selecting college starters who appeared close to MLB-ready with picks in the early 20s. Wimmers, and Kyle Gibson the year prior, have not made their MLB debuts.
     
    Wimmers looked fantastic in his pro debut back in 2010. Since then, he has had a lot of troubles throwing strikes and then he had Tommy John surgery in 2012. Wimmers is likely to miss almost all of this season. He may return for some Winter ball, but he'll basically be starting over as a prospect next season. Even so, if he recovers from his injury and can get his command back, he could be playing for the Twins by 2015. If that happens, this was a good pick. If not, it was an unfortunate pick.
    Ah, but what if?
     
    This is a little tougher now, due to the youth of these players. However, Christian Yelich was drafted two picks after Wimmers and he looks like a can't miss prospect. Yelich can flat-out hit. Of course he's an outfielder and the Twins have like 455 outfielders/outfield prospects.
     
    If the Twins preferred a pitcher, they could have taken Jesse Biddle (27th overall), Zach Lee (28), Aaron Sanchez (34), Noah Syndergaard (38) or Taijuan Walker (43). Each is considered a good prospect, while Sanchez and Walker are elite. Of course, they also could have taken Peter Tago (47) because he has a cool name.
     
    Best Late Round Pick
     
    I like 10th-round pick J.D. Williams. He was drafted out of Brooks-DeBartolo Collegiate High School in Tampa, Florida. I always like schools that sounds like Law Firms, so this one makes me happy. Williams wasn't anything special for Beloit last season, but he has been great with Cedar Rapids this season. Sure, he's repeating a level and he's 22 and in the Midwest League, but blah blah blah, I don't care. If he can keep developing as an outfielder (he signed as a shortstop) and keep developing as a hitter, then he'll be one of the best 10th round picks from this draft. That's something, right?
     
    San Diego drafted Houston Slemp with their 10th round pick and I'm pretty sure that's a fake name. Just some perspective.
     
    Oh, 10th round isn't late enough for you? You ingrate. Fine. A.J. Achter was drafted in the 46th round, which is pretty freaking late. Achter was drafted out of Michigan State and just recently earned a promotion to AA New Britain. If he even sniffs the Majors out of the 46th round, he'll be the best 46th round pick ever!!!!! That may not be true, but I refuse to do research. This isn't school.
     
    Who'll be the first to reach the Majors?
     
    This is tough. There are quite a few guys at New Britain, but none are very exciting. I'm going to guess Eddie Rosario, simply because I think he is the best prospect and therefore, he has the best chance to actually reach the Majors. Rosario was the Twins' fourth-round pick and he's real and he's spectacular. The man can hit. He's only at Fort Myers, so he won't be a Twin soon, but his talent should carry him to Minnesota before anyone else in this draft.
     
    Best Prospects
     

    Gold
    Silver
    Rosario, for reasons I just explained. Seriously, I just explained them.
    Second-round pick Niko Goodrum and not just because he has a sweet name. He's a shortstop and he's starting to hit. He was carried off of the field on a stretcher a few nights ago, but hopefully he will be ok and can resume his breakout season. I love him. I love him like a milkshake.
    Wimmers. I know he was wild and I know he is hurt, but he had number 3/4 upside when he was drafted and if he can recover from his injury, there's no reason he can't recover his ceiling.
    5th-round pick Nate Roberts. OBP machine/mustachioed mofo.

    Best Name
     
    James Buckelew, the Twins' 45th-round pick.
     
    Fun Facts
     

    3rd-round pick Pat Dean has two Baseball Reference pages. Seriously. Here's the other one.
    Four Twins' 2010 draftees are currently pitching for New Britain: Dean, Achter, 6th-round pick Logan Darnell, and 7th-round pick Matt Hauser. 9th-round pick Kyle Knudson is also playing for New Britain, but he is not a pitcher, so the others probably razz him.
    Twins' 23rd-round pick Dallas Gallant has the most Texas name of all time.
    That Law Firm High School I talked about earlier? J.D. Williams wasn't the only Twins' 2010 draftee from that school. The Twins also selected Kelvin Mention in the 36th round. These two jokers make up half of the players ever drafted from this Firm.
    The Twins drafted Lance Ray in the 8th round and Jared Ray in the 38th round. I don't think they are brothers, but there is certainly a Ray of hope that they are.

    2013 Twins?
     
    None, but perhaps a couple in 2014? Eh? EHH?
     
    One Sentence Summary
    If Niko Goodrum needs a house family, he is welcome at my house - although he is playing 250 miles away and should probably have a home by now.
     
    Link to the Twins' 2010 draft from Baseball Reference
  10. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!
    Welcome once more to 25 drafts in 25 days. We are nearing the end of this endeavor, which means we are also nearing the actual 2013 draft. I know that I am very excited to see who the next wave of future Twins will be. In the meantime, here are my recaps from 2005 and 2006, to tide you over. Just click the years and enjoy the beautiful layout.
     
    Here is 2007:
     
    The 2005 and 2006 drafts were Snickers bars, just packed with peanuts. In this analogy, players are peanuts. The Twins added 2 current Twins and 10 more former Twins. While there were no superstars added to the organization, this is still a windfall of peanuts/players. The 2007 draft is more of a tumbleweed or perhaps a Milky Way with a rogue peanut. Only two players have reached the Majors and realistically, maybe two or three more have a chance to join them. However, one of the more popular recent Twins was added...
     
    1st Round Pick
     
    The Twins selected the diminutive (required adjective) Ben Revere with the 28th overall pick in the 2007 draft. Revere was a high school kid out of Kentucky. He's small, listed at 5' 9" and 170 lb, but that is part of what made him so much fun to watch. Revere has crazy range in the outfield and could track down fly balls like a homing beacon. Plus, he was kind of clumsy, so he'd fall and do somersaults and whatnot. It was all very entertaining.
     
    Ah, but what if?
     
    The Twins pretty much nailed the Revere pick. If you can get a starting player with the 28th pick, it's a success. However, since I am legally obligated to present a "what if" scenario, you could make the case that Giancarlo Stanton would have been a nice selection. Stanton went 76th overall, which was somehow in the second round because there were roughly 400 compensation picks in 2007. For serious, take a look (at the bottom). Stanton is an excellent power hitter, but rarely falls down while trying to make amazing catches. Just stating the facts.
     
    Best Player Drafted
     
    Well hey, welcome back Ben Revere! I think I need to change these categories for the more recent drafts. The Twins finally rid themselves of the malcontent that is Ben Revere last off-season, acquiring Trevor May in a trade with the Phillies.
     
    Worst Player to Reach MLB Worst At Hat-Wearing
     
    I apologize for the previous section. Ben Revere is neither a malcontent or a "worst player" in any way. However, he is the only player who the Twins signed in 2007 who also made it to the Majors. Thus, in a totally unfair way, and based on an extreme technicality, he is the worst player to reach the MLB from this draft. More accurately, he always wore his hat poorly, and that cannot go unpunished. So, Revere is not the worst player, but he was the worst hat-wearer from the '07 draft.
     
    The One Who Got Away
     
    The only other Twins' 2007 draftee to make the Majors (so far) is Mickey Storey. Storey was drafted in the 22nd round, and went back to school to become a Senior and thus the "top dog" on campus. If I have learned anything from movies, he wasted this year partying before ultimately learning a lesson right before finals. He was drafted in the 31st round just one year later. Storey is currently pitching for the Blue Jays organization, and has a career ERA of 4.24. He strikes out a lot of batters.
     
    Best Name
     
    With the 1453rd overall pick in the 2007 MLB draft, the Twins selected Christopher Freshcorn, a catcher out of Alonso High School in Alonso, Florida. The Twins' 50th round selection does not have any stats.
     
    Fun Facts
     

    Despite Ben Revere being the only player from the 2007 draft to play for the Twins, he still has a higher WAR than all seven players drafted in 2006 who also played for the Twins combined.
    Andrew Schmiesing, the Twins' 11th-round pick, went to St. Olaf College and played for the St. Paul Saints. He's from Northfield, Minnesota! So many local angles!
    Third-round pick Angel Morales is currently playing with Fort Myers. He is a local Angel. He has played over 260 games in Fort Myers. He's spent more time in Fort Myers than long-time Fort Myers Mayor Randy Henderson, Jr. EEEYYY-OOO! That's actually not true.
    Twins' 8th-round pick and current Rochester Red Wing Danny Lehmann has hit eight career Minor League home runs in over 1000 at-bats.
    Twins' 14th-round pick Dan Rohlfing was playing in New Britain but just got the call to Rochester. He has seven career Minor League home runs in over 1100 at-bats, but of course, he hit one in his first AAA game. Your move, Danny Lehmann.
    Twins' 16th-round pick Nelvin Fuentes has never hit a professional home run. He's a pitcher, so that's not a fair way to assess him.
    In the 28th round, the Twins drafted Seth Rosin out of Mounds View High School. I went there! He did not sign and went to the University of Minnesota. I went there! In 2010, Rosin was drafted by the San Francisco Giants in the 4th round. Rosin is pitching well at AA for the Phillies now. This is more of a fun fact for me. I am going to really enjoy reading it later.

    All those drafted who made it to the Bigs (so far)
     
    Ben Revere and Mickey Storey.
     
    One Sentence Summary
     
    The 2007 draft was all about Ben Revere and that wonderful smile.
     
    Link to the Twins' 2007 draft from Baseball Reference
  11. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!
     
    Hello again, Twins Daily. We are getting closer and closer to draft day. With a little over a week left until the Twins make their next draft choices, I present to you my recaps from 2001, 2002, and 2003. Just click the years to see which of those three drafts was the most handsome.
     
    Here is 2004:
     
    The 2003 draft produced Scott Baker and heartache. First-round pick Matt Moses never reached the Majors, marking the 3rd time in 6 years where the Twins' top pick did not play MLB baseball (not the video game, the real life). Adam Johnson was one of the three who made it, so I'm not sure that really counts.
     
    The solution to that problem? Have a whole mess of first round picks! The Twins had five in 2004. Five! They received a first and a supplemental first for both Eddie Guardado and LaTroy Hawkins. Both of those guys had their moments, but wow, that is just way too much compensation. The Twins would not complain. Would they cash in?
     
    1st Round Picks
     
    They kind of cashed in. With the 20th pick, the Twins selected Trevor Plouffe. Plouffe was a high school shortstop and has proved to be a relatively valuable player due to his power and low salary. With the 22nd pick, the Twins selected Glen Perkins. Perkins did not pan out as a starter, but has become a reliable closer. The next three don't go so well.
     
    Kyle Waldrop at 25, Matt Fox at 35 and Jay Rainville at 39. Waldrop and Fox pitched briefly for the Twins and Rainville was out of baseball after 2009. Waldrop is having a really good season at AAA for Pittsburgh, but that's of little value these days. These five first-round picks have produced just under 6.0 WAR so far. I do expect that number to climb, mostly from Perkins and possibly from Plouffe.
     
    Ah, but what if?
     
    Let's keep Perkins. Other than Perkins, there are probably four names the Twins would rather have. Gio Gonzalez went 38th, right before Rainville. In the second round, Yovani Gallardo went 46th, Hunter Pence went 64th and Dustin Pedroia went 65th. What if the Twins had somehow hit the jackpot and left the 2004 draft with Perkins, Gonzalez, Gallardo, Pence and Pedroia? I believe MLB would just stop holding drafts and award the Twins the winners.
     
    Also, what if the Twins could have packaged their five firsts and traded up for Justin Verlander? That would be cool. Although, I'm not sure those five firsts were worth the second-overall pick, where Verlander went. Also, it's very cool to follow the rules, so this scenario is actually uncool.
     
    So many what ifs!
     
    Best Player Drafted
     
    Glen Perkins, which sounds like a nice fielded area to visit. Perkins did not thrive as a starter, as I mentioned before. He also did not appreciate the treatment he received from the organization. However, fences were mended and then immediately destroyed by Perkins' revived fastball. It seems that relieving agrees with Perkins, as he has turned into a dominant closer. Seems appropriate that he was compensation for losing Eddie Guardado.
     
    Worst Player to Reach MLB
     
    In 2010, Matt Fox made one start with the Twins, going 5.2 innings and giving up four runs, eight hits, two walks with no strikeouts. He then made three appearances with Boston, giving up two more earned runs in 1.2 innings. He never recorded a strikeout. At least not yet... He's still kicking around, pitching for the Mets' AAA team.
     
    The One Who Got Away
     
    Toronto's own Rene Tosoni! Tosoni was a 34th-round pick out of Terry Fox SS, which probably stands for Super School or something Canadian that I am not aware of. However, Tosoni wanted to pursue his dream of playing one year at Chipola College in Marianna, Florida, so he did not sign. Don't be too sad, we all know how this story ends.
     
    Best Name
     
    Eammon Portice, in the 17th round. He did not sign, but he made an impact with his name.
     
    Fun Facts
     

    Trevor Plouffe went to Crespi Carmelite High School, which sounds like a tasty candy bar.
    32nd-round selection Nolan Mulligan was drafted three times, which seems appropriate.
    The Twins drafted Anthony Swarzak with the 61st overall pick in the second round. At least, that's what they want you to think...
    Twins' 18th-round pick Josh Rose was the inspiration for Seal's song, "Kiss from a Rose."
    16th-round pick Matt Tolbert looks a little bit like a bird.
    Four of the Twins' five first-round picks reached the Majors. I think that's pretty good.

    All those drafted who made it to the Bigs
     
    Glen Perkins, Kyle Waldrop, Anthony Swarzak, Matt Tolbert, Matt Fox, Trevor Plouffe, and Rene Tosoni
     
    One Sentence Summary
     
    It would be impossible to convert five first-round picks.
     
    Link to the Twins' 2004 draft from Baseball Reference
  12. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!
    The Twins lost three of four from the Tigers this weekend and have now lost eleven of their last twelve. Yikes. After flirting with .500 through six weeks, the Twins now have the second worst record in the American League. The Twins are 11th in runs scored and 11th in runs allowed. Bad combo, bro. The dream has died, as this team doesn't appear to have the talent to hover at .500 for a full season.
     
    The Front Office had a busy week too. Here is a list of moves that were made this week:
     

    Pedro Hernandez sent to AAA
    Caleb Thielbar called up to Minnesota
    Trevor Plouffe placed on seven-day DL.
    Chris Colabello called up to Minnesota and added to the 40-man roster
    Darin Mastroianni transferred to 60-day DL
    Vance Worley sent to AAA
    Tim Wood transferred to 60-day DL
    Oswaldo Arcia sent to AAA
    Samuel Deduno called up to Minnesota and added to the 40-man roster
    P.J. Walters called up to Minnesota and added to the 40-man roster
    Joe Benson placed on outright waivers and claimed by the Texas Rangers
    Wilkin Ramirez placed on seven-day DL
    Chris Herrmann called up to Minnesota

    WOW! Have you ever played in a fantasy league with that one guy who makes a billion moves per year? Even that guy is exhausted looking at this list. I don't think that any of the individual moves are all that upsetting alone. I don't like sending Arcia to AAA and I didn't like waiving Benson, but each move makes sense individually.
     
    When these moves are coupled with the Twins' poor play, the level of discontent within the Twins fan base only increases. The one move that wasn't made is probably the move that is most upsetting to Twins fans. Kyle Gibson was not one of the two starting pitchers called up, and since he was on the 40-man, his call-up would have made the Benson move moot. The Twins want Gibson to be more consistent and they want to further his development, but they made that choice at the expense of another young player who is now with another organization.
     
    The Front Office often has to make tough decisions. At times, their decisions look questionable and at times they look flat-out stupid. Personally, I don't see any flat-out stupid decisions in the list above. Some of the moves look smarter than others, but that's just the way it goes.
     
    Since things haven't been great in the past week or so, let's try to have some fun. On to the Madness!
     
    Random Photoshops
     
    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QxKL7x7QfMw/UaKZMRUWNOI/AAAAAAAAAsw/bgQzL83ecPE/s400/belve.jpg
     
    We're off to a bad start. Here's the deal. I thought of this in the middle of the night. I woke up giggling, typed it into my phone and then executed it in the morning. All along the way, I was seeing how stupid it was, but I went through with it. I am a determined individual. As if some form of compromise, I decided that it was fine that it looks horrible. If you want some context, click here. I'm not sure the context really helps though.
     
    All is not lost, as the photoshop above did inspire this one:
     
    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E3ClfwpaSWc/UaKZTzDdvBI/AAAAAAAAAs4/mk3JveOGgNI/s400/just_the_ten_of+wayne.jpg
     
    See, all is never lost. And yes, I am obsessed with Gary Wayne.
     
    Random Link
     
    Grant Brisbee is just fantastic and I know I have linked to him before. However, he's just that good. Here is something he wrote about the Rafael Soriano/Bryce Harper kerfuffle from last week. It has great balance of gifs, analysis and calling a guy a dingus.
     
    KWL Chart
     
    Here is a KWL chart I made with Sam Deduno as the topic. Remember, the KWL chart tells you what I know, what I want to know and what I have learned. Pro-tip, click on it.
     
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fYOX6aFNb_g/UaKZdHfMl-I/AAAAAAAAAtA/aVjlfDjt8L0/s640/KWL+Deduno.png
     
    Former Twin Update
     
    Danny Valencia is somehow back in the Majors. He has been acting as Baltimore's DH the past few games, which keeps him the court-mandated 50 feet from third base while holding a glove. Valencia is slugging over .600 and has two home runs in just five games! He, Alexi Casilla, and J.J. Hardy make up a third of the Orioles' lineup and yet they are 27-23. Baseball is wild. I look forward to watching Chris Parmelee patrol their right field area in a couple seasons. Kidding!
     
    Liz Thoughts
     
    Every so often I will present thoughts directly from my wife. Liz is a big-time baseball fan. She has some crazy ideas. She generally thinks all players are overweight and that their pants are too long. In addition, she has no patience for any form of poor play. She does not grade on a curve for young players, old players or injured players. That sounds so familiar... She had some thoughts on Gardy that I am going paraphrase in order to clean it up and clear it up:
     
    "Gardy gets tossed all the time! It's all an act. He doesn't even look that angry, he's just trying to get on camera and get attention. He shouldn't get paid for games when he gets thrown out. If I were manager, I'd get thrown out all the time and go hang out in the clubhouse and collect my check. (I tell her that he might be trying to fire the team up). That's stupid."
     
    Random Top 10 List
     
    The Twins head to Milwaukee for an early week series with the Brewers. There are only 47 players who have played for both the Twins and the Brewers in their career. That number seems low, but who am I to question Baseball Reference? Here are the Top Ten players who played for both the Twins and the Brewers, in order based on my own personal preferences:
     

    Paul Molitor - all-time great
    Brian Harper - combo of hitting/mullet
    Corey Koskie - Canada
    Tom Brunansky - bonus points for being traded for Tom Herr
    J.J. Hardy - very handsome
    Henry Blanco - purely sentimental
    Rich Becker - 1996 season
    Grant Balfour - Australia
    LaTroy Hawkins - he's still active!
    Carlos Gomez - "Joe Mauer, the first baseman, and the other guy"

    BTW - 47. Livan Hernandez.
     
    Link to something stupid I wrote
     
    I wrote something about how I would punish fans if elected to the Presidency and if the President had the power to punish fans. It's pretty stupid, so it certainly fits in this section. I'd say I'm half-kidding, half-serious, half-hungry. You can find it here. If you agree, please contribute to my Kickstarter campaign for President.
     
    Parting Haiku
     
    Lush curly blonde hair
    A wild and hot demeanor
    I will miss you Joe
     
    Have a great week everyone!
  13. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!
     
    I had intended to run some errands this afternoon, but then I saw this tweet:
     


    Joe Benson is a member of the Texas Rangers organization...
    — Seth Stohs (@SethTweets) May 25, 2013
     
    I was confused, but I knew this was an option. The Twins needed a 40-man spot for the immortal P.J. Walters, and Benson has been injured or terrible ever since his 2011 September call-up. Even in earning his 2011 promotion, he had basically played two full seasons at AA to get to Minnesota. It is still a confusing move. Then this tweet came along:
     


    Joe Benson was placed on outright waivers and claimed by the Rangers
    — Rhett Bollinger (@RhettBollinger) May 25, 2013
     
    He was just outright waived, which pretty much says all you need to know about how Benson was looked at within the Twins' organization. In a lot of ways, he probably earned his reputation, after failing to grow as a player since leaving AA. Just take a look at how Benson has moved since September 2011:
     
    September 2011: Promoted to MLB, plays in 21 games, hits .239/.270/.352 and strikes out a lot (23-years-old, no experience above AA). Benson was also fined by Ron Gardenhire for wearing a suit in the clubhouse. This was a joke, but still extremely stupid and an event that lead to various eye-rolls from yours truly.
     
    Winter 2012: Baseball America lists Benson as the 99th best prospect in baseball.
     
    March 2012: Benson is assigned to AAA, Terry Ryan has this to say:
     
    "We just need to control the emotional part of his game; he gets a little excited," Ryan said. "We don't want to change his personality, I can tell you that, because he brings a little edge to him."
     
    April 2012: Benson gets off to an extremely slow start in Rochester, hitting .190/.286/.354
     
    May 2012: Benson is sent to AA New Britain, where he does not hit any better.
     
    May 24, 2012: Benson has surgery to repair his left hamate bone, which sidelines him for six weeks.
     
    June 28, 2012: Benson returns to active play.
     
    July 16, 2012: Benson returns to New Britain.
     
    August 2012: Benson returns to not hitting well, hitting .109/.169/.200 in 14 August games
     
    September 2012: Benson is not part of 2012 September call-ups because he needs surgery on his left knee, which sidelines him for four months.
     
    March 2013: Benson does not perform well in Spring Training, is assigned to AAA.
     
    April 2013: Benson hits .217/.278/.337 at Rochester, starts losing starts to Clete Thomas.
     
    May 2013: Benson hits .162/.230/.221.
     
    May 25, 2012: Benson is put on outright waivers by the Twins and claimed by the Texas Rangers.
     
    That is a pretty sucky timeline for Benson. Not only is he not hitting well throughout, but he keeps getting injured and he keeps falling further and further from the Twins' good graces. I don't have many quotes or anecdotes regarding Benson beyond the two I shared at the beginning of the timeline. However, it is pretty clear to see that Benson did not fit in well with this organization. I really gristle at the Terry Ryan quote. I understand the desire to control the emotional part of his game, but if that is something he has been trying over the past two seasons, it isn't working.
     
    I won't claim this move was made due to Benson's personality, but if it was, then I really don't like it. I despise moves made based on personality. I mean, I named by blog after Kevin Slowey. However, there are definitely baseball reasons that justify this move, and I really hope that those were the only determinations.
     
    Getting back to Benson the player, he clearly has a lot to work on. He isn't hitting at all. Since he can't hit, he can't show off his good power and he can't utilize his good speed on the bases. His inability to hit has landed him on the bench, which makes it impossible to display his excellent range, speed and ability in the outfield.
     
    It's hard to look back at Benson's 2011 season with New Britain and not be intrigued. He hit .285/.388/.495 with 28 doubles, 16 home runs and 13 stolen bases. At his peak, I thought Benson could become a 20/20 player with an OBP around .350. When you add all that to his centerfield-quality defense and strong arm, the calculus is a great player who provides a ton of value. None of that works if Benson can't put the bat on the ball.
     
    A fresh start in Texas might be just what Benson needs. He'll join a new organization which may not hold any of the preconceived notions and opinions that Benson may have earned in Minnesota (perhaps, justifiably). Texas can already boast one outfield reclamation project in Nelson Cruz, and Benson is even younger. Benson won't become a Ranger if he doesn't work on his hitting. Maybe spending time with a new coaching staff will click with Benson and he'll work out the issues that are holding him back. I hope it happens, as I think there is a solid MLB player within Joe Benson.
     
    This was a move made out of necessity. The Twins needed to replace some struggling starting pitchers and made the determination that Benson would be the odd man out. Personally, I think there were better options, but I don't get to make those decisions. In the end, it was a justifiable move, but a move that could certainly come back and haunt the Twins. If Benson figures out the one area of his game that isn't working right now, he has enough talent and loud enough tools to "put it all together" and become the player the Twins obviously saw back in September of 2011.
  14. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!
     
    If you are interested, I have recaps from 1998 and 1999 as well. Just click on the years and you will be transported to a wonderful new world filled with bad jokes, silly puns and petty insults aimed at baseball players far superior to me.
     
    Here is my 2000 draft recap:
     
    Welcome to the new millennium!!!!!! Do you remember the Willennium?
     
    In 1999, the Twins finally added B.J. Garbe to their system. Coming off that massive high, the Twins had the second overall pick in 2000 and had to be pumping their collective fists and raising their collective roof. The Twins also had a second first-round pick, for reasons we will get to shortly. After two straight disappointing first rounds in 1998 and 1999, the Twins had to get that second overall pick right. Did they?
     
    1st Round Picks
     
    Sadly, no. The Twins selected Adam Johnson, a right-handed starter out of Cal State Fullerton. Johnson had previously been drafted by the Twins in 1997, but did not sign. Elephants and Twins' scouts never forget, so when given another chance to land Johnson, they jumped. Johnson flopped. He only appeared in nine games and posted an ERA over ten. At least he has a unique name.
     
    But wait! The Twins were awarded another first (and a second for that matter) when Mike Trombley signed with the Orioles in the prior off-season. Mike Trombley was worth not one, but two picks! Wild. The Twins drafted Aaron Heilman out of Notre Dame, but he chose to go back to school instead of signing with the Twins. Outstanding.
     
    Ah, but what if?
     
    What if Johnson decided to be an accountant while in college? More appropriately, what if Johnson had signed three years prior? If he was already safely in the system, perhaps the Twins would have drafted a position player. Chase Utley was the 15th overall pick and I love Chase Utley. Imagine having Utley in the lineup for the last decade or so. I know he gets hurt a lot, but he certainly would have made the team a lot better. Adam Wainwright was drafted two picks prior to Heilman and I choose to believe that the Twins wanted him all along. If you believe, anything can be true.
     
    Best Player Drafted
     
    Kubes! I was actually surprised that Jason Kubel was drafted in the 12th round. I always assumed he was a second-round pick. I guess I just fail to see all 1s. Kubel's career WAR is just above six, which seems very low. He doesn't get much credit for his baserunning or defense. He has been an above average offensive player each year and was on a path to stardom before a nasty knee injury changed that path. He was a personal favorite of mine, and I fondly remember that game when he blasted a grand slam to complete the cycle against the Angels.
     
    Worst Player to Reach MLB
     
    Adam Johnson! Of course Adam Johnson! The answer to every "worst pitcher" question is Adam Johnson.
     
    The One Who Got Away
     
    Paul Maholm was the Twins' 17th-round pick but did not sign. I was never very impressed with Maholm when he pitched for Pittsburgh, but he has been pretty good for the Braves since they acquired him. I think the Twins would love to have a guy like Maholm right about now.
     
    Best Name
     
    Tagg Bozied again, just as it was in the 1997 recap. Oh yeah, the Twins drafted him twice too, this time in the second round!
     
    Fun Facts
     

    The Twins drafted Johnson and Bozied a combined four times and received -1.1 WAR for their troubles.
    The Twins used their second-round Trombley pick on J.D. "The Real Deal" Durbin. I am all for having personality. In fact, I'd probably give myself an obnoxious nickname too. But, you gotta back it up too. Durbin was still kicking around independent baseball last year, but hasn't thrown an MLB pitch since 2007.
    Adam Johnson debuted roughly one year after being drafted. He pitched his final MLB game on my 12th birthday, going one third of an inning, giving up six hits and six earned runs. He did get Carlos Pena to pop out.
    I've totally met Twins' 20th-round pick T.J. Prunty. Jealous?
    Fifth-round pick Edgardo Lebron is of no relation to NBA star LeBron James, as they have completely different names.
    Seriously, Mike Trombley was worth two picks!

    All those drafted who made it to the Bigs
     
    Paul Maholm, Jason Kubel, Aaron Heilman, Daniel Davidson, Jason Miller, J.D. Durbin, Josh Rabe, and Adam Johnson
     
    One Sentence Summary
     
    Adam Johnson (while making the head-shaking motion).
     
    Link to the Twins' 2000 draft from Baseball Reference
  15. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!
     
    Hi, Twins Daily! In the last few days, I have posted a few more draft recaps at my blog. If you missed them, and want to read about them, you can find them here: 1994, 1995, 1996.
     
    Here is 1997:

    Travis Lee was being a real jag and didn't want to sign with the Twins after the 1996 draft. The Twins did not want to duplicate that jaggery in 1997. They had a strict "no-jag" policy in '97, opting instead for super nice guys. In the end, the Twins drafted two very popular players and one (perhaps) unfairly unpopular player. They also drafted a guy who they would later draft much higher and with much worse results. Stay tuned!
    1st Round Picks
     
    The Twins had two, as the aforementioned jag did not sign. The Twins had the 9th overall pick, and used it to draft Michael Cuddyer. "Cuddy," or "Cuddy Bear," as he would be affectionately called, took some time to get it going, but ultimately became a useful and versatile player, albeit one with a very red face. With their Lee pick, the Twins drafted Matt LeCroy. He looked like a teddy bear, so the Twins completed the Cuddy Bear/Teddy Bear combo successfully.
    Ah, but what if?
     
    I know that Cuddy was very popular, but Lance Berkman went 16th overall and was roughly four times the player as Cuddyer (by WAR, which I know, I know, it sucks, but just handle it, k?). Berkman has a semi-decent Hall of Fame case and a no-doubt Hall of Fame nickname - Big Puma. Would he have become Big Puma in Minnesota? He'd probably be Berky or LancePants, so I think everything worked out perfectly for all stakeholders.
    Best Player Drafted
     
    Well, well, well, if it isn't Mr. Nick Punto! Punto narrowly edges Cuddyer out by WAR, mostly because he was a great defensive player with good on-base skills and he battled just slightly more than Cuddy. Honestly, Nick Punto drew a lot of ire from fans, but was never the worst player on the team and not nearly as embarrassing as Denny Hocking and his frosted tips (unprovoked Hocking shot alert!).
     
    Of course, Punto didn't actually sign with the Twins. He went back to school (he's smart) and was drafted in the 21st round by the Phillies the following year. He would then come to the Twins in the 2003 Eric Milton trade.
    Worst Player to Reach MLB
     
    25th-round pick Adam Johnson, who posted a -1.1 career WAR. You may remember Johnson as a first-round pick, but that would come a few years later. In fact...
    The One Who Got Away
     
    I'd argue that Johnson is the one who got away. If the Twins had signed him back in 1997, he wouldn't have been around to draft in the first round in 2000. If not him, Punto, but he eventually found his way back to the flock.
    Best Name
     
    Tagg Bozied in the 50th round. Much like the Terminator, "he would be back, later."
    Fun Facts
     

    The Twins drafted future backup quarterback Marques Tuiasosopo in the 34th round. He should have been in soap ads; seems like a huge missed opportunity.
    Michael Restovich, the Twins' second-round pick, went to Mayo High School. When you think of it, it's a Miracle that he Whipped himself to the Big Leagues. Right?
    The Twins drafted Tim Sturdy in the 23rd round. Oddly enough, he was 7' 5" and 155 lb.
    Michael Cuddyer was arguably a better pitcher than Adam Johnson
    The Twins drafted David Justice in the 49th round, which was later deemed illegal, as Justice was an established player with the Braves. It was worth a shot.

    All those drafted who made it to the Bigs
     
    Nick Punto, Michael Cuddyer, J.C. Romero, Matt LeCroy, Michael Restovich, Kevin Frederick, and Adam Johnson
    One Sentence Summary
     
    LEAVE NICK PUNTO ALONE!
  16. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!
     
    Weekend Recap
     
    Welp. The Twins weren't really supposed to be good or even decent this season, so a 2-7 homestand isn't crazy. It's more disappointing, after what seemed like a such a positive start. Regardless, this franchise is clearly trending upward, even if this past week doesn't reflect that.
     
    The thing that struck me the most from the weekend was another shaky Scott Diamond start. I did a detailed breakdown of Diamond's 2012 and concluded that 2012 Scott Diamond was a good pitcher and if he can replicate what he did in 2012, he could have long-term success. You can read it here, if you missed it back in February.
     
    I looked at Diamond's stats from the first half of 2012 (when Diamond was a borderline Ace), the second half of 2012 (when Diamond was good, but not great), and the start of this season (when Diamond looks like he might be regressing). What is different? Here's a chart with Diamond's peripherals:
     
    [TABLE=class: grid, width: 612]


    [/TD][TD]K%

    BB%
    LOB%
    GB%
    LD%
    FB%
    HR/FB
    HR/9
    BABIP
    xFIP
    ERA


    2012 1st Half
    13.9
    3.7
    79.3
    59
    20.3
    20.7
    14.8
    0.91
    0.285
    3.57
    2.61


    2012 2nd Half
    11.6
    4.9
    68.6
    48.9
    21.5
    29.6
    9.5
    0.86
    0.298
    4.23
    4.31


    2013
    9.8
    5.5
    70.6
    47.4
    19.7
    32.8
    13.3
    1.36
    0.318
    4.62
    4.99


    League Avg (2012)
    19.8
    8
    72.5
    45.1
    20.9
    34
    11.3
    1.02
    0.293
    4.01
    4.01
    [/TABLE]
     
    2013 Scott Diamond has looked a lot more like the 2012 second half Scott Diamond. He's getting fewer ground balls, and more of his fly balls are going over the fence. His walk rate is ticking upward and his strikeout rate is ticking downward. These numbers need to start reversing, or Diamond will have a very difficult time replicating his 2012 success.
     
    I looked at some PitchF/x data as well. The samples are small, so there isn't much significance. However, some trends are evident. Looking at this chart, it appears that his curveball is as good as ever:
     
    [TABLE=class: grid, width: 322]


    CB
    O-Swing%
    O-Contact%
    SwStr%


    2012
    48.2
    52.4
    15.2


    2013
    46.7
    48.6
    15


    Average (2012)
    29
    63.8
    9.1
    [/TABLE]
     
    Batters still swing at a very high percentage of his curve outside the zone and they still make little contact. In addition, they swing through many of these pitches for strikes. That's good! However, this chart shows there are other concerns with the curve:
     
    [TABLE=class: grid, width: 307]


    CB
    LD%
    FB%
    HR/FB%


    2012
    24.8
    27.4
    11.6


    2013
    19.4
    35.5
    36.4
    [/TABLE]
     
    Mainly, batters are hitting more curves in the air and many more over the fence. That's bad! It's still early, but not a great sign so far. Let's look at his change:
     
    [TABLE=class: grid, width: 323]


    CH
    Contact%
    Zone%
    SwStr%


    2012
    79.6
    38.2
    9.9


    2013
    90.6
    46.4
    4.4


    Average (2012)
    79.7
    44.9
    9.1
    [/TABLE]
     
    His change was a pretty average pitch last year, but as his third pitch, it worked. This season, players are making better contact and rarely missing that pitch. He's throwing it in the zone more, and it's getting hit more. Not a great combo. Finally, here's a very small chart regarding his fastball:
     
    [TABLE=class: grid, width: 171]


    FB
    GB%


    2012
    56.5


    2013
    48.3
    [/TABLE]
     
    Basically, the decline of Diamond's ground ball rate can be almost fully correlated to the decreasing percentage of ground balls Diamond has coaxed with his fastball. If you add it all up, Diamond has basically been this pitcher in 2013: A league-average ground ball pitcher, with low strikeout totals and a good walk rate. In 2012, Diamond was a ground ball pitcher with low strikeout totals and an elite walk rate. These aren't major differences, but enough to turn a good pitcher into a shaky pitcher.
     
    All that being said, it is still very early and I won't be convinced that Diamond is a different pitcher until at least a full season passes.
     
    Analysis! Now on to the Madness:
     
    Random Paint Image
     
    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6BrODrCoooM/UZliXDRYS1I/AAAAAAAAAsI/fqKRIHNotTU/s320/Scott+Diamond.png
     
    I choose to remember this Scott Diamond, being ceremoniously carried off the field by his teammates after a series of spectacular starts.
     
    Random Plug/Former Twin Update - Randy Ruiz
     
    Ben Noble of Puckett's Pond posted a feature on a former Twin. I fondly remember Randy Ruiz and hopefully you do too. Plus, Ben's a really good dude and a great writer. If you remember Randy Ruiz as fondly as I do, you should check it out.
     
    Random Photoshop
     
    Byron Buxton hit a walk-off Grand Slam on Wednesday night. It was a bomb. Buxton has basically become the "next big thing" and fans are starting to clamor for Buxton's debut sooner than later. I don't know anything about his realistic ETA, but I do know that Nikola Pekovic of the Minnesota Timberwolves was clearly impressed, as he updated his crazy tattoo after he heard about Buxton's feat:
     
    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DpPLNpMv5iw/UZlieopHsqI/AAAAAAAAAsQ/iTQH5x5MDA0/s320/pek418.jpg
     
    Good gravy, that tattoo is crazy.
     
    Answering a random question from the Twins' Facebook page:
     
    Q: Best movie ever...where is The Beast?
     
    For context, this question was posted in reference to a picture of "Squints" and "Ham" from The Sandlot.
     
    A: The Beast probably died 10-15 years ago. A dog of that size likely had a lifespan of about 8-10 years. The dog was likely at least 2 or 3 when the movie was filmed and the movie is now 20 years old. Thanks for asking though, it's a super uplifting topic to discuss.
     
    While on the topic of The Sandlot, how come only two of the actors were present for this weekend? What are any of those guys doing right now? Shouldn't the Twins have been able to get 5 or 6 of those guys, at minimum. I bet if you give them free airfare, 20 bucks, and the chance to talk to people who think they're cool, they'd all be there. Typical cheap Twins, slashing payroll and stiffing Sandlot actors. Embarrassing.
     
    Random Top 12 List
     
    Here are the Twins' leaders in wRC+ for the month of May (as of 5/19/2013):
     

    Joe Mauer - 228
    Oswaldo Arcia - 132
    Trevor Plouffe - 123
    Justin Morneau - 123
    Jamey Carroll - 115
    Pedro Florimon - 112
    Ryan Doumit - 108
    Aaron Hicks - 89
    Chris Parmelee - 74
    Eduardo Escobar - 55
    Josh Willingham - 55
    Brian Dozier - 19

    Something I wrote
     
    I'm not going to link to them, but I have been recapping the past 25 Twins' drafts over the last week or so, and I'll have 1997 posted on Twins Daily tomorrow. I have been posting a new draft recap each day, on my blog - Kevin Slowey was Framed!
     
    This seems like a good time to thank Twins Daily for putting my 1993 recap on the front page. A lot of people read my recaps as a result; far more than I could generate on my own. I think it is downright amazing that John, Seth, Nick and Parker are so willing to share their hard-earned following with all of us aspiring writers. Thanks to everyone who operates this site, it is hands down my favorite site on the internet.
     
    Something stupid I wrote
     
    I'll link to this though. I'm not sure this even qualifies as writing, but it is stupid. What is Oswaldo Arcia doing with his arms? I have 13 theories, and a bonus Paint image to boot. Also, I did start a Facebook group for some reason. There are six likes, which is five more than I expected. If you are interested, you can find and like it here.
     
    Haiku
     
    The Twins may be down
    I refuse to frown or drown
    Haiku should not rhyme
     
    Have a nice week everyone!
  17. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!
     
    The Minnesota Twins are going through a bit of a rough patch. The White Sox are terrible, but hit the Twins hard today and won the series. The Twins rotation is not performing. Mike Pelfrey seems jolly, but that's not enough. Vance Worley has cool glasses, but that's not cutting it. Pedro Hernandez is a lefty, but even that isn't getting the job done.
     
    In addition, there are questions about the offense. Is Josh Willingham slumping or getting old? Is Chris Parmelee an everyday player? Is Aaron Hicks breaking out or just simply not historically awful anymore? Is Trevor Plouffe wearing more and more eye-black, in some sort of ritualistic manner to try to voodoo his way to success against right-handed pitching?
     
    These are all legitimate questions, but not questions that interest me at all. I am most concerned with what Oswaldo Arcia is doing with his arms when he makes this motion:
     
    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CNHIlQ27XUQ/UZQo0GmaCCI/AAAAAAAAAr4/H-GSklXiuPk/s320/oswaldoo.png
     
    Also, why is he so happy? Anyway, here's a link to a picture, if you are into accurate representations.
     
    Back to the question at hand, what is Arcia doing? Someone stated that it's some sort of team-building symbol invented by Wilkin Ramirez. I'M NOT BUYING IT! Body language is universal, so I should be able to decipher what is meant when Arcia makes that "o" shape with his arms without being told.
     
    I have theories, which I present to you without commentary:
     

    Asking for more Ovaltine, please
    Cracking walnuts for some of the smaller and weaker players
    Creating a self-picture frame, in order to assist people when they take pictures (or draw pictures) of him
    Spelling out his name, one letter at a time, with the intent unveiling a new letter every few weeks
    Advertising for O.co
    Telling Pedro Florimon that he loves him "this much"
    Trying to turn into a hot air balloon
    Creating the number zero, in a subtle homage to his favorite player of all time: Junior Ortiz
    Ripping Joe Mauer for not hitting more home runs
    Only one country starts with the letter "O" and that is Oman; he just learned that and is really excited to tell people about it
    Asking Ron Gardenhire to make him some eggs
    Trying to relate to Anthony Swarzak by flashing a crop circle sign to him, while in the bullpen
    It's not intentional, it's just how he stands normally

    What is he really doing? You be the judge. If you have theories of your own, please share.
  18. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!
     
    Welcome back! In my never-ending quest to recap old drafts (feature ends June 4), I present to you, if you missed them:
     
    1991
     
    1992
     
    Here's 1993, in all it's glory:
     
    The 1992 draft was a nightmare, but the 1993 draft was like the morning after a nightmare when you realize that none of what you experienced was real and that you are safe in your own bed, but then ohhhh there's blood on your pillow but wait it's just that your tooth fell out because you haven't been to the dentist in years and everything's fine except the tooth. You know, that old tale.
     
    1st Round Picks
     
    Oh my, the Twins had 4 this year. They received two picks for losing John Smiley to free agency. If you remember back to the 1989 draft, you remember that Smiley was acquired in a trade for Denny Neagle, so that 1989 draft is the gift that keeps on giving. Also, the Twins received a first and a third when Greg Gagne signed with the Royals. So, the Twins selected Torii Hunter with their first first-round pick, which worked out well. They had the very next pick and selected Jason Varitek. He did not sign. They then got cocky and decided to draft by choosing hilarious names and selected Marc Barcelo and Kelcey Mucker with their next two firsts. Neither made the Majors, but both have funny names. Mission accomplished!
     
    Ah, but what if?
     
    Simple - what if Varitek had signed? He would have been the catcher for years, and likely would have bridged the gap to A.J. Pierzynski. Also, Scott Rolen went 46th overall, so he would have been great had the Twins employed a strategy where good players were sought instead of great names.
     
    Best Player Drafted
     
    Torii Hunter in a landslide. He has produced almost 50 WAR and was an extremely popular player in Minnesota. I wrote something long ago (six months ago) that investigated what could have happened if he had stayed in Minnesota through last season. You can read it here and enjoy it here as well.
     
    Worst Player to Reach MLB
     
    A lot of players drafted by the Twins in 1993 made it to the Majors. Many didn't play long, so the career WARs are bunched together. The worst was Kelly Dransfeldt with a -0.6 WAR. The Twins drafted him in the 7th round and he didn't sign. Therefore, the worst Twins draftee/signee is a tie between their 21st and 22nd round picks - Shane Bowers and Rob Radlosky. The fact that both made it to the Majors is remarkable, so we can ignore their stats.
     
    The One Who Got Away
     
    Varitek. Aren't you paying attention?
     
    Best Name
     
    Danny Peoples in round 59 of course.
     
    Fun Facts
     

    The Twins had four first-round picks, as I stated before. Only one donned a Twins uniform. How does one don?
    Benj Sampson was drafted in the 6th round and marks the first player with a missing letter in his name to be drafted to the MLB. Congratulations Benj!
    The Twins used their 3rd-round compensation pick on Troy Carrasco, who did not make it to the Majors.
    The Twins drafted Toby Dollar in the 4th round out of a Texas High School. He did not sign. He then must have had an illustrious career at TCU because he was drafted in the 29th round by the Dodgers three years later. Cost himself a lot of Dollars.
    Jason Varitek hates Minnesota.

    All those drafted who made it to the Bigs
     
    Torii Hunter, Jason Varitek, Alex Cora, Lance Carter, Danny Kolb, Javier Valentin, Kevin Ohme, Benj Sampson, Dan Perkins, Emil Brown, Ryan Radmanovich, Rob Radlosky, Kelly Dransfeldt, and Shane Bowers
     
    One Sentence Summary
     
    Even if only Torii Hunter had made it to Minnesota, the 1993 draft would have been a huge success.
  19. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!
     
    Hello Twins Daily! I am continuing my journey through the last 25 Minnesota Twins drafts. As promised, I will not post each here, as I don't want to create any clutter. If you are interested in previous entries, you can find them here:
     
    1988
     
    1989
     
    There! Here's 1990:
     
    The 1989 draft produced one of the biggest names of the Twins' last quarter-century, in Chuck Knoblauch. How could the 1990 draft compete with that? Well, maybe the Twins didn't want that! Perhaps they didn't care about the 1990 draft after the success of the 1989 draft. Yeah. So, here's some stuff about this "nothing to prove" draft from 1990.
     
    1st Round Picks
     
    The Twins had two this year! They had a second first rounder as compensation for losing Jeff Reardon in free agency. Twice as nice! Well. The Twins drafted Todd Ritchie and Midre Cummings. Yep. Ah, but don't worry, the Twins had two second round picks in 1990 as well. They also got a second-round pick for losing Reardon. Wow, Jeff Reardon is the gift that keeps on giving. The Twins used their seconds on Jayhawk Owens and Ron Caridad. Let's just move on.
     
    Ah, but what if?
     
    What if the Twins had drafted a post? Could the post have fared better? More seriously, Mike Mussina went 24th overall, some twelve picks past Ritchie. The Twins wanted a right-handed starter, but they got the wrong one. Luckily, no one has ever heard of Mike Mussina. Wait.
     
    Best Player Drafted
     
    The Twins drafted "Everyday" Eddie Guardado in the 21st round. Guardado was both effective and popular. Those are not words one would use to describe Todd Ritchie, or Jayhawk Owens for that matter. Guardado went on to have a very long and fun career.
     
    Worst Player to Reach MLB
     
    The Twins drafted Brent Brede in the 5th round. He posted a robust -1.7 WAR in about 170 games. This draft is depressing.
     
    The One Who Got Away
     
    No one. The Twins didn't even draft and not sign a good player this year. No one.
     
    Best Name
     
    Chris Gump in the 47th round. Little known fact - Forrest Gump's cousin.
     
    Fun Facts
     

    It wasn't all bad. The Twins did draft Rich Becker and Pat Meares in 1990. We've heard of them.
    In fact, the Twins' first five picks had a lower combined career WAR than Becker.
    3rd Round pick Jamie Ogden went to White Bear Lake High School. This means that Ogden was a Bear and might explain his lack of big league success. He was a bear. Bears have massive paws and cannot hold balls and bats.
    Todd Ritchie somehow won 43 career games.
    The Twins also had a second third round pick, as compensation for losing Wally Backman. Apparently in the 90s, teams were compensated for losing Wally Backmans. Seriously.

    All those drafted who made it to the Bigs
     
    Eddie Guardado, Damian Miller, Rich Becker, Todd Ritchie, Pat Meares, Midre Cummings, Jayhawk Owens, Brian Raabe, James Mouton, Jeff Granger, and Brent Brede.
     
    One Sentence Summary
     
    The Twins won the World Series one year later, and that was fun.
  20. Brad Swanson
    Weekend Recap
     
    Twins' starters combined for 2 strikeouts in 17 innings against the Orioles. Yikes. Baltimore doesn't strike out a lot as a team, but my goodness, 2 strikeouts in 17 innings? The starters have to do better than that. I get the whole pitch to contact, let the defense do their thing, battle, achieve success idea, but this is too extreme for me. Strikeouts aren't everything and some pitchers can get away with low totals. However, not many can get away with it for a long time. Relying on batted balls to make over 95% of the team's outs is not a great long-term strategy.
     
    Joe Mauer is pretty good. He went 8-12 this weekend, added two walks and stroked four doubles. He went through a mini-slump a couple weeks back and I'm sure everyone was convinced that his career was over. It wasn't. Mauer now leads the offense in just about every possible category and is on pace for over 70 doubles. Honestly, if he hit 70 doubles, it would not surprise me all that much.
     
    Wei-Yin Chen is left-handed. Wei-Yin Chen is a soft-tosser. Wei-Yin Chen pitched against the Twins on a Sunday afternoon. Given this information, the next sentence could be predicted by a time-travelling space-ape with minor brain damage and a lot on his mind. Wei-Yin Chen shut out the Twins for five innings and won on Sunday. Chen left the game with an oblique injury, likely from repeatedly making the "two hands clasped together, shaking triumphantly over each shoulder, back and forth" gesture too frequently.
     
    Manny Machado is really good. #analysis
     
    Random Plug
     
    Grant Brisbee is fantastic. He writes for Baseball Nation of SB Nation and also for McCovey Chronicles of SB Nation. While he primarily writes about the San Francisco Giants, he does also post some general baseball thoughts. This week, he posted some "scouting reports" that he found from the newly released Hall of Fame scouting reports. They are extremely clever and hilarious. If you haven't read them yet, you really should.
     
    Random Photoshop
     
    Prior to that post, I had planned to send a "thank you" card of sorts to Brisbee, for all the fun articles I have enjoyed over the years. So, I made this photoshop of The Beatles' Sgt. Pepper album cover, with Hunter Pence's head in place of all the people on the cover. The results are terrifying and fascinating. Enjoy:
     
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iBmoI0zhY4A/UZBHA3mlJ4I/AAAAAAAAArE/JI95wgAjf1Y/s400/sgtpence.jpg
     
    Former Twin
     
    Here's a sad tweet:

    Astros Sign Edgar Gonzalez, Designate Philip Humber bit.ly/17hxdMz #mlb
    — MLB Trade Rumors (@mlbtraderumors) May 12, 2013
     
    Well, the Edgar Gonzalez part is nice for him, but Philip Humber getting DFA'ed is too bad. Since his perfect game last season, Humber has been pretty awful. He was once a major part of the package that the Twins acquired for Johan Santana and now he is probably worse than Santana and Santana isn't even playing. He might get one more chance, but getting released by the Astros is not promising.
     
    My response to a hypothetical Facebook Question
     
    Q: Two days in a row without Hicks (Aaron Hicks). How are they going to score runs without his bat in the lineup? Hahahahha.
     
    A: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That is freaking hilarious! I mean, how are they going to score without one of their worst offensive players, right? Right?!? Right?!!?!??! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! This is fantastic. Ignore the fact that Hicks is one of the most promising players on the team and just focus on the fact that he hasn't done well in one month of play. AHHAHAHAHAH.
     
    But seriously, I'm sure you will love Hicks when he's playing well. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
     
    Fun Baseball Card from the past
     
    Why do big glasses look so odd, but big sunglasses are pretty much standard? What do you think, Max Venable?
     
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-56nmKj9hV1E/UZBKPQwEOaI/AAAAAAAAArU/9XiuEzfvIG8/s320/ds_1986_donruss_venable.jpg
     
    Yeah, I don't get it either.
     
    Fun Stat
     
    The Twins pitcher with the most strikeouts in a game versus the Orioles? Johan Santana, with 14 on September 19, 2004. He struck out seven times the amount of Orioles as Twins' starters struck out this whole weekend. Never forget: Johan Santana was cool/awesome.
     
    Link to something I wrote
     
    I decided to recap each of the last 25 Twins drafts, leading up to the 2013 draft in June. I posted 1988 on Sunday, and you can read it here. It's a hoot. Do you remember Johnny Ard? Neither did I. Cool.
     
    Link to something stupid I wrote
     
    For some odd reason, I decided to start a Facebook Group. There is currently one "like" and probably some (like 7?) more to come. Once I reach 50 "likes" I will give away my prized Gary Wayne 1991 Score baseball card. If that prize isn't worth clicking a button and enduring countless annoying Facebook updates, then I don't know what is. You can find it here: Kevin Slowey was Facebooked!
     
    Parting Haiku
     
    Joe loves to double
    Anything less is trouble
    Home run allergy
  21. Brad Swanson
    Welcome to 25 drafts in 25 days! Over the next few weeks, I will be writing brief recaps of the last 25 drafts in Twins' history. This will all culminate with the 2013 draft, when the Twins will select 4th overall. I know that the MLB draft isn't as hyped as the NBA or NFL draft, due to the age and experience of the players involved, but the draft is an important tool used to build a franchise, especially for the Twins. This coming draft is extremely important, as the Twins have the opportunity to add to an already stacked farm system.
     
    Twins Daily, I don't want to bombard you with these recaps, so I'll just post one every 3-4 days. I'll have links to those that I do not directly post here, but you can always check each year out daily at my blog: Kevin Slowey was Framed! I plan to post each of these around 11am for the next 25 days at that site. You can stop crying now.
     
    Housekeeping aside, we'll start back in 1988 and work our way to the present.
     
    1st Round Pick
     
    The Twins drafted right-hander Johnny Ard out of Manatee Community College in Bradenton, Florida with the 20th overall pick in the 1988 draft. Manatee Community College. Unfortunately, Johnny didn't want to put in the Ard work it takes to get to the Bigs. I don't know that to be true. Glancing at his Minor League stats tells a lot, as he walked a lot of batters and didn't strike many out. Pretty Ard sell for me.
    Ah, but what if?
     
    Well, the 1988 draft kinda sucked. Robin Ventura was by far the best player, but he was drafted 10th overall. Alex Fernandez posted a 28.9 WAR for his career and went 24th overall to the Brewers. I am guessing the Twins would have preferred Fernandez to Ard, but only in hindsight of course.
     
    Best Player Drafted
     
    In the 11th round, with the 284th pick, the Twins selected J.T. Bruett. Bruett posted a career WAR of 0.2. That was the best number of any player that the Twins actually drafted and signed in 1988. A couple of their 1988 draftees had better careers, but we will get to that in a bit.
     
    Worst Player to Reach MLB
     
    In the 9th round, the Twins selected Doug Simons. Simons posted a -1.5 WAR, thus hurting the teams he played for, just by being around. He never pitched for the Twins, luckily. Simons posted a career 6.68 ERA in 66 career innings. Tons of sixes aside, he didn't really do much.
     
    The One Who Got Away
     
    The Twins drafted Aaron Sele in the 37th round, but he chose to be a dork and go to college. He was later selected 23rd overall by the Red Sox, so who's a dork now? He won 148 career games and was a player I often heard Twins fans long for. He had a career ERA+ of 100, which is league average, but compared with the entire remaining Twins' draft, he was Roger Clemens.
     
    Best Name
     
    Deryk Gross - 12th Round - What a difference one "y" makes.
     
    Fun Facts
     

    6th Round pick Pat Mahomes had a better career batting average than 4th round pick Steve Dunn, who was a first baseman
    The Twins selected Steve Dunn in the 4th round and then Steve Dean in the 5th round. Someone found that funny, I bet.
    Steve Dean did not make it to the Majors, thus having a WAR of 0. Steve Dunn did make it to the Majors and posted a WAR of -0.4, thus making him the less valuable Steve.
    Alan Newman was drafted 50th overall. Everyone remembers Alan Newman. He was 6' 6" and 240 lb out of La Habra, California. He was not Al Newman.
    The Twins drafted Scott Stahoviak in the 27th round, but he did not sign. He'd be back.
    A guy I went to high school with had a Scott Stahoviak jersey. Seriously.

    All those drafted who made it to the Bigs
     
    Alan Newman, Steve Dunn, Pat Mahomes, Doug Simons, J.T. Bruett, Scott Stahoviak and Aaron Sele
     
    One Sentence Summary
     
    The Minnesota Twins drafted some players in the 1988 draft and all of those players were horrible.
  22. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!
     
    Hello all. I'm going to try to be more consistent with my posts. I figure, if anyone actually wants to read the senseless ramblings of a madman, the madman should probably be conscientious enough to provide the ramblings in a consistent manner. A couple weeks back, I posted a Gimmick Post with some fun gimmicky ideas and I enjoyed writing it. I have also written some series recaps here and there, but I usually only have time to hit the weekend series. Both are fun, but I don't have time for both.
     
    Frankenstein's monster, let's combine the two. Every Monday, I will recap the weekend series briefly and then move into some of the more random stuff, including poems, paint images and shameless self-promotion. I am also planning something for every Friday morning, although the content and format will be inconsistent. I'll also throw up some random stuff during the week, if something strikes my fancy. Enough with the idioms and explanation.
     
    Weekend Recap
     
    Clearly Kevin Correia and Mike Pelfrey switches faces for the weekend. Granted, their height, build, pitching style, body language, and pretty much everything else looked the same. Regardless, their performances from the weekend can only be explained by a Face/Off situation where Correia needed to pump some information from Pelfrey's incarcerated brother. Pelfrey had his first great start with the Twins on Sunday and Correia had his first clunker on Saturday.
     
    Starting pitching has been the litmus test all season long. The Twins got two poor starts this weekend and one good start. Not surprisingly, the Twins won Pelfrey's good start and lost Correia and Pedro Hernandez's poor starts.
     
    On offense, I get way too excited about home runs. Aaron Hicks hit his first career home run and I actually cheered out loud. I pumped my fist and everything. It was embarrassing and my dog moved to another part of the couch as a result. Chris Parmelee and Trevor Plouffe each hit home runs in the series and I of course assumed each was playing really well as a result. They really aren't. Home runs are fun though.
     
    Random Top 5 List
     
    The Top 5 Lowest Season BB/9 in Twins' history:
     

    Carlos Silva - 0.43 - 2005
    Brad Radke - 1.03 - 2005
    Brad Radke - 1.04 - 2001
    Brad Radke - 1.07 - 2004
    Brad Radke - 1.19 - 2003

    Answer to a Hypothetical Facebook Question
     
    Q: Twins? in the ALLSTAR game? What?
     
    A: The MLB All-Star Game is played every July. All-Star is one hyphenated word and you do not need to capitalize the whole word. Each season, fans get to vote for the players who they feel are the best in the game. Generally, they do a pretty terrible job, but have yet to be fired or even issued a written warning.
     
    The Twins will have a player on the ballot at each position. When you get a ballot, either at a game or on the internet, you can select the players who you feel are most deserving. This includes Joe Mauer, if you want to vote for him. If you are basing your All-Star vote on a player's most recent 25 at-bats, you will be disenfranchised.
     
    Each team will have at least one All-Star, so if you feel that no one on the team deserves the honor, you will be disappointed to be forced to watch a player from your favorite team, should you choose to watch the All-Star Game. That being said, voting at an actual game is a total calamity, as those little holes are hardly easy to punch. Typically, attempting to punch those holes will end in frustration and/or oversized holes.
     
    Random Paint Image
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CTMVUrcHanQ/UYbRLGjl5pI/AAAAAAAAAnc/I8qJKwWklmk/s400/Delmon+Dam.png
     
    Delmon Young is back in the Bigs! I drew this during the World Series last year. I can't remember why and it needs to see the light of day. I guess that explains why Delmon is wearing a Tigers hat. Anyway, in this portrayal, Delmon has taken a poor route on a fly ball, wandered out of the stadium and rammed into Detroit's water supply, flooding the city. But then, you probably already knew that from the image.
     
    Random Plug
     
    Sam Miller is fantastic. He writes for Baseball Prospectus and tends to aim for the lighter side of baseball. In this article, he created the International Conference On Reverse Engineering The Rules Of 21st Century Recreational Activities in order to determine how baseball was fun. I laughed out loud at least three times and considered quitting writing altogether as well. Read it!
     
    Random Stat
    Kevin Correia gave up two home runs in the first inning on Saturday. He had only allowed two home runs in 36 prior innings this season. That's nuts!!!
     
    Update on a Former Twin/Something stupid I wrote
     
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UyDe9GLdFyc/UYbbk4wWlNI/AAAAAAAAAns/RIPNfcIcO6A/s400/sloweywins.PNG
     
    Two for one! Kevin Slowey won a baseball game on Sunday. IKR? He hadn't won since September of 2010. I am well aware that I am easily the most excited Twins' fan when it comes to Slowey's success. I thought he was great but the Twins justifiably disagreed. He didn't really produce and if he was a pain in the clubhouse, then I get shipping him off.
     
    I hate when the media rips him, but generally ignore it. When Dick Bremer was talking trash about him during a game about a month ago, I got all this random traffic to my blog, with people searching for reasons why the Twins didn't like Slowey and instead finding posts about 1989 Donruss and a picture of Trevor Plouffe squaring off against a baby cow. Regardless, I appreciate the traffic. Thank you, Dick.
     
    Anyway, no one wants to see a person fail so spectacularly for so long. Plus, Slowey has been really good this season, posting a 1.81 ERA in 44.2 innings. I'm glad he won and I think he has to be the NL Comeback Player of the Year to this point. So that's nice.
     
    The two for one comes with this link: Kevin Slowey never wins. I wrote this on Saturday, and it's probably the worst thing ever written. Not by me, by anyone. But, it's fun, so it's cool. Enjoy.
     
    Something not stupid I wrote
     
    Back in January, in an effort to celebrate TwinsFest, I ranked my 10 favorite Twins of all-time and drew a Paint image to accompany each player. My proudest drawing ever is included and I would be delighted if anyone wants to guess which Paint I am most proud of. Here is the link: Top 10 Twins.
     
    Parting Haiku
     
    Home runs are so fun
    Thrill for both fans and players
    Ben Revere has none
  23. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!
     
    On Tuesday night, Aaron Hicks made a nice running catch and flipped the ball with his glove to Brian Dozier, all in one motion. I cheered; Ron Gardenhire hissed. Gardenhire was likely upset with how nonchalant Hicks was or perhaps jealous of how silky smooth Hicks is. Regardless, an ensuing "conversation" in the dugout was caught on FSN's cameras and set off an explosion of commentary and crying (mostly from me).
     
    Odds are, their conversation was about that play, but I can't help but think it could have been about something else. Here are a few working theories that I have:
     
     
    Option 1 - Cold hands
     
    Gardy: Hicksie, get over here.
     
    Hicks: What's up skip?
     
    Gardy: What did I tell you about leaving the hot plate plugged in while you're not in the same room?
     
    Hicks: Don't leave the hot plate plugged in, it could start a fire.
     
    Gardy: Right, and what did I see when I went into the clubhouse a few minutes ago?
     
    Hicks: (sheepishly) The hot plate was plugged in.
     
    Gardy: THE HOT PLATE WAS PLUGGED IN! DO YOU WANT TO START A FIRE? DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT HOT PLATE IS? I'M TEMPTED TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU!
     
    Hicks: No! I need it!
     
    Gardy: You NEED to understand that a fire in the clubhouse kills us all. Is that what you want?
     
    Hicks. (more sheepishly) No...
     
    Gardy: Look, I don't want to die out here. I got lots of stuff I still want to do. I'm abiti...
     
    Hicks: (cuts him off) I was just using it to warm up my hands.
     
    Gardy: DO YOU THINK THAT MATTERS? DO YOU THINK THE HOT PLATE KNOWS THAT? A HOT PLATE DOESN'T HAVE A BRAIN! IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU USE IT FOR, IF YOU LEAVE IT PLUGGED IN, IT CAN START A FIRE! (pauses) I can't talk about this again, go sit down.
     
     
    Option 2 - I ain't afraid of no ghosts
     
    Gardy: Hicksie, get over here.
     
    Hicks: What's up skip?
     
    Gardy: What happened out there?
     
    Hicks: I saw him.
     
    Gardy: Saw who?
     
    Hicks: I saw the ghost.
     
    Gardy: You saw the ghost? What did we just talk about yesterday?
     
    Hicks: You say there's no such thing as ghosts, but you aren't an expert.
     
    Gardy: HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY EXPERTISE? I KNOW MORE ABOUT GHOSTS THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW. I'VE FORGOTTEN MORE ABOUT GHOSTS THAN YOU COULD POSSIBLY LEARN. I'VE LIVED THE GHOST-HUNTING LIFESTYLE AND IT IS NOT A LIFESTYLE I WANT FOR YOU... OR ANY OF MY PLAYERS! GHOSTS AREN'T REAL! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
     
    Hicks: I know what I saw.
     
    Gardy: YOU SAW NOTHING! (creepily calms into a zen-like trance) I'm tired of going through this with you, go sit down.
     
     
    Option 3 - You can't eat the soaps
     
    Gardy: Hicksie, get over here.
     
    Hicks: What's up skip?
     
    Gardy: I can't help but notice that the nice, decorative soaps that I put in the washroom are all wet and slightly smaller. I also can't help but notice that you were the last one to use the washroom. Care to explain?
     
    Hicks: Uh, I washed my hands.
     
    Gardy: Right, and I applaud you for that. However, what does the word decorative mean?
     
    Hicks: That it's a decoration.
     
    Gardy: EXACTLY! YOU DON'T USE THE DECORATIVE SOAPS, YOU ADMIRE THEM AND YOU ENJOY THEIR DECORATIVE PRESENCE, BUT YOU DON'T USE THEM! THAT'S WHY WE HAVE THE LIQUID SOAP!
     
    Hicks: Isn't soap soap?
     
    Gardy: IF SOAP WERE SOAP, THEN WHY IS SOME SOAP LIQUID AND SOME SOAP SHAPED LIKE LITTLE TWINS LOGOS? IF SOAP WERE SOAP, WHY DID I SPENT 30 MINUTES GIVING A POWERPOINT ABOUT THE NEW DECORATIVE SOAPS IN THE WASHROOM. I'M STARTING TO THINK YOU AREN'T PAYING ATTENTION TO MY PRE-GAME SPEECHES. GO SIT DOWN; YOU GO SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW!
     
    Hicks: (hangs head, sits down)
     
    Gardy: (muttering to himself) Is soap soap?
     
     
    Option 4 - Apples suck
     
    Gardy: Hicksie, get over here.
     
    Hicks: What's up skip?
     
    Gardy: What did you bring for the post-game treat?
     
    Hicks: Uh, apples and juice boxes.
     
    Gardy: Are you serious?
     
    Hicks: Yeah, my nutritionist thought it was appropriate since we're all athletes and we need apples.
     
    Gardy: Come on.
     
    Hicks: I'm sorry, it wasn't my choice.
     
    Gardy: Man, I wanted a candy bar or something.
     
    Hicks: Can't you just get a different treat? You don't have to eat the apple.
     
    Gardy: THAT'S NOT THE POINT! THE POINT IS THAT EACH PLAYER HAS TO BRING TREATS AND EVERY OTHER GUY ON THIS TEAM BRINGS SOMETHING DELICIOUS AND FUN AND YOU BRING APPLES WHICH SUCK!
     
    Hicks: I didn't pick apples.
     
    Gardy: OH YOU'LL BE PICKING APPLES! YOU'LL BE PICKING APPLES ALL DAY LONG IF YOU DON'T SHAPE UP AND BRING TREATS THAT EVERYONE ENJOYS! I'LL ANNEX YOU FROM THIS TEAM SO FAST! DON'T TEST ME! (points at Joe Mauer) LOOK WHAT I DID TO MAUER WHEN HE BROUGHT MILK!
     
    (Mauer slowly rolls down his sleeves to cover the bruises, averts his gaze)
     
    Gardy: Disgusting. Go sit down.
     
     
    Option 5 - Deadliest Spoilers
     
    Gardy: Hicksie, get over here.
     
    Hicks: What's up skip?
     
    Gardy: Did you watch Deadliest Catch?
     
    Hicks: Yes! Can you believe that Junior stabbed Keith in the back like that?
     
    Gardy: SPOILER ALERT, GEEZ HICKS! I asked if you watched it, not for a synopsis.
     
    Hicks: I just assumed you saw it, since you asked.
     
    Gardy: I'm sick of your assumptions! You need to assume that I haven't seen anything until I say that I have!
     
    Hicks: Geez, I thought we were starting to really connect.
     
    Gardy: YOU THOUGHT WRONG! YOU THOUGHT SO WRONG! SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN FOREVER!
     
    Later, after the half-inning ends, Hicks starts to get up to go out into the field)
     
    Gardy: WHAT DID I TELL YOU! SIT DOWN FORVER!
     
    Hicks: *looks sad, hangs head, sits down forever*
     
     
    Option 6 - Honest Abe
     
    Gardy: Hicksie, get over here.
     
    Hicks: What's up skip?
     
    Gardy: Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure.
     
    Hicks: Um, Gardy?
     
    Gardy: We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting-place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground.
     
    Hicks: (to Justin Morneau) What is going on?
     
    Gardy: The brave men, living and dead who struggled here have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.
     
    Hicks: Can I...
     
    Gardy: It is for us the living rather to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, that this nation under God shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth.
     
    Hicks: I'm just going to go sit down.
     
    Conclusion: Gardy has a short fuse; respects decorative soap.
  24. Brad Swanson
    Originally posted at Kevin Slowey was Framed!
     
    September 18, 2010. What does that day mean to you? Possibly nothing, perhaps more than that, but ultimately, it was just another day. It was just another day for Kevin Slowey as well. Slowey awoke fresh that morning, went to the ballpark and started a baseball game for the Minnesota Twins. Slowey pitched well, going 6.2 innings, giving up just two runs on five hits and a walk. He struck out eight and improved his record to 13-6. The ball literally jumped from his hand, like a basketball player jumping for an offensive rebound and then throwing down a powerful put-back dunk. Little did Slowey know that he would still be waiting for his next win to this very day.
     
    Two and a half years, but only fifteen dreadful starts later, Slowey is still searching for that next win. The path toward that elusive win has been winding, like a snake living in a terrarium that is too small. His travels have taken him all over the nation, but success has not followed. This isn't easy to swallow for the 2005 second-round pick out of Winthrop. He made Minor League Baseball look silly, like a tall guy walking on his tip-toes through a forest of miniature model train trees. It only took him three years to reach the Big Leagues, but he was back in the Minors in just that same short, fleeting, momentary, passing period of time.
     
    How Slowey returned to the Minors is a sordid tale, one that is difficult to express clearly and without constant metaphor. A Pittsburgh-native, Slowey was known for his steely demeanor and nerdish leanings. His book learning was frowned upon and his intelligent manner of communicating was spat upon with the disdain of many generations of Proletariat backlash. That Slowey was smarter than those in the room was a demon that seethed within his belly, lashing out repeatedly when Slowey was forced to interact with members of the Media and clownish teammates.
     
    Slowey harnessed that demon on the mound, using it as motivation, like an eight-year-old with a father who makes him play a sport for 12 months straight and then watch videotape of his performance to make him a better player even though all he really wants to do is watch some TV. Using that motivation, Slowey became a reliable hand, someone the Twins could really turn to in times of need. Times like when Slowey started games. But Slowey never really fit in with his team. In a lot of ways, he was the Zubaz of Minnesota. He was liked because he was comfortable, but he just didn't look right or fit well or gain the respect of the other pants, so to speak.
     
    2011 would be Slowey's lowest point as a pitcher. He spent the majority of the season battling shoulder and abdominal pains like a warrior fighting a mythical beast while also learning how to love. When he had slain his own body like a two-headed dragon, he was ready to get that next win. However, that next win would be a figurative two-headed dragon, who could breathe both fire and ineffective pitches. At the end of that fateful season, as if written in the stars, Slowey finished without that elusive, slippery, mysterious win and added a 6.66 ERA to boot.
     
    This would be Slowey's final season with the Mighty Clones of the North. The force of his potent brain was too much for the Twins' clubhouse. He read Newsweek instead of nothing. The Twins shipped Slowey off to the Rockies of Colorado, both physically and baseballically. Slowey wouldn't last long amongst the mighty mountains of the Northwest, ending his travels in Cleveland, a city where all dreams come true.
    Alas, Slowey's Cleveland dreams of winning baseball were dashed, sputtered out like one of those old-timey cars that you see at a car show but that also isn't running well and is just a model at this point. Slowey wouldn't pitch an inning for the Indians, spending his season split between the misery of injury and the humiliation of Minor League Baseball. Slowey's tale was as winding as a long, gross rat tail, but was also very close to falling off altogether.
     
    Flash forward to just one year later. Slowey had resurfaced in Miami, a city best known for Burn Notice. Through fortitude, hard work, grit, guile, resilience, cunning, wiliness, slyness, command and control, Slowey reached the highest level of the Majors, as if he had climbed his own Mount Kilimanjaro or a really long staircase. Now at the top once more, Slowey was ready to earn that unattainable win, and slay the dragon, oppress the Proletariat and conquer the Zubaz while getting that cameo on Burn Notice that he so richly deserves.
     
    Fate is a cruel mistress. Fate is unkind. Fate is a that person who won't move over in the fast lane. Slowey has been dynamic this season, like a magician set on fire while performing card tricks of the Gods. And yet, that win has eluded him, like a green shell from Mario Kart that wasn't aimed quite right. Slowey spent all of April hurling a baseball like he had never hurled before, but at the end of the month, he still sits winless. Slowey still endures. Slowey still burns. Slowey still aches. But Slowey won't relent.
     
    Slowey turns 29 today; bittersweet as birthdays always are. As the hands on the clock spin like one of those breakdancing guys who is really good at spinning on his head, it is impossible to forget about mortality. However, few will ever have to wonder what it might mean to never have another win in life. For Kevin Slowey, he has to wonder every day if that last win, way back in September of 2010, will be his last. One last fleeting moment of pure success, drenched with the sweat of hard work and dedication, dripping with the saliva of lessons learned, engorged with the tears of failed expectations and covered in the blood of man. This amalgamation of bodily fluids is all one can really ask for, and all one can really hope for another.
  25. Brad Swanson
    Welcome to the third installment of my (fake) mailbag. In the past, I have used this space to answer the tough questions that no one seems to want to actually ask me. Today, I have a treat! Actual questions! Well, not all of them. See if you can spot the fakes.
     
    Which flavor ice cream is Anthony Swarzak?
    ~ @ERolfPleiss on Twitter
     
    Now, this is a question!
     
    Well, he's certainly vanilla. That isn't a race-based statement, I just think he is kind of boring. However, he does sprinkle in some surprises here and there. He is also known to be a little strange and believes in Bigfoot. That's cool, but certainly not normal. He'd never be my first choice, but likely would not be my last choice either. That eliminates anything with coffee in it.
     
    Anthony Swarzak is a Take 5 McFlurry. It is vanilla-based and would be better with chocolate but the Kaisers at McDonalds won't make you one with chocolate ice cream. Again, not racial, I just prefer chocolate ice cream in all instances. Back to Swarzak ice cream. The Take 5 contains pretzels, caramel, peanuts and peanut butter. Each is delicious and together they form a winning combo. The addition of the Take 5 almost makes the vanilla ice cream tolerable.
     
    However, McDonalds is a corporation, so good luck getting a consistent amount of Take 5 in your McFlurry. Most times, you are left with a lot of vanilla ice cream. That's Anthony Swarzak, mostly vanilla ice cream, with some tasty treats every so often.
     
    Torii Hunter made some statements welcoming Aaron Hicks to the line of great Twins centerfielders and said he'd hit for power not just be a slap hitter. So who was Torii dissing most?
    ~ TwinVike61, Twins Daily member
     
    Torii Hunter seems to love nothing more than hearing Torii Hunter talk. In this instance, I believe he was aiming his comments at Ben Revere. I believe this to be true because Hunter is linked closely as some sort of mentor to Denard Span. I can't remember seeing the same thing with Revere and Hunter. Therefore, Revere is probably the slap hitter that Hunter refers to. In reality, Revere is a slap hitter with no power, so I guess Hunter is right. Hunter will almost certainly be on MLB Network when his playing career ends. I will almost certainly continue to not watch MLB Network with sound.
     
    If the Twins were forced into a situation where a position player was needed to pitch, who would they use and why?
    ~ Brad S, St. Paul, MN
     
    This question requires a lot of thought. First, I think the way the roster is constructed, we would only see a position player pitch if a game went to a lot of extra innings. There isn't a Drew Butera on the team that you would feed to a hungry team that has already scored 20 or so runs.
     
    Let's eliminate all the obvious names. No way the Twins risk Joe Mauer, Josh Willingham, Justin Morneau, Oswaldo Arcia, or Aaron Hicks. Each player is either too established or has too much upside. Hicks reportedly can hit 98 on the radar gun, but still, Jose Canseco.
     
    Anyone likely to start the game is unlikely to pitch, due to fatigue and whatnot. That takes out Chris Parmelee, Trevor Plouffe, Pedro Florimon and Brian Dozier, although throwing Florimon to the wolves wouldn't really mean much in the cosmos.
     
    Jamey Carroll is probably too old and Ryan Doumit only looks old, but is too frail.
     
    This leaves Eduardo Escobar and Wilkin Ramirez. Escobar has a pretty decent infield arm, so he might be the choice. However, I'd go with Ramirez for three reasons. First, he seems like a good guy. Second, he knows his spot on the team is tenuous at best, so he'll do what it takes to stay. Third, he's a pinch hitter/fifth outfielder and would be easy enough to replace (sorry Wilkin).
     
    So, my prediction is that if the Twins ever find themselves in the 18th inning of a game with no pitchers left to use, Wilkin Ramirez will take the mound and the remaining crowd of 56 will be super pumped.
     
    How many more days until Kevin Correia turns back into a pumpkin? Or would he be a totally different type of squash?
    ~ @ERolfPleiss
     
    When's his next start? Kidding! I actually delved quite deeply into Correia's stats earlier this week. To sum that piece up: I have no idea what statistical analysis is.
     
    However, three stats concern me. His strikeout rate and home run rates are very low and his strand rate is very high. The strikeout rate is too low for sustained success. The home run and strand rates are way out of line with his career numbers. Most 32-year-olds do not suddenly establish new baseline numbers.
     
    There are a few pieces of the equation that point toward Correia sustaining some level of this performance and not regressing all the way back to his pre-Twins days:
     

    Elite walk rate - he basically allows no runners via walk
    BABip isn't crazy low - he hasn't been lucky with non-home runs
    Relatively normal hit rate - guys get on base, just not via walk

     
    If those numbers maintain, he can remain successful to some extent. If he starts walking batters, then things can change rapidly.
     
    Finally, to address what type of squash Correia is - he is a cucumber, because I didn't know that was a type of squash and I wanted to share that new knowledge.
     
    Will any player ever top Joe Nathan's Twins career saves record?
    ~ Brad S, St. Paul, MN
     
    Prolly not. The reality is that long-term, established closers are a luxury that teams with middling payrolls should simply not afford. Glen Perkins is a fine closer and will likely rack up a bunch of saves in the next few seasons. However, if he ever truly establishes himself as an elite closer, the Twins should trade him as soon as they can, considering a reasonable replacement is available.
     
    The Twins' philosophy in last June's draft was to select a boatload of college relievers, convert many to starters and collect the profit. However, some of those college relievers-turned starters will convert back to relief. A few could become elite relievers, capable of replacing current set-up men and closers. If this is the case, the Twins would then be able to trade their established players for other needs or prospects.
     
    In a perfect world, no reliever even approaches Nathan's record because Nathan himself probably should have been traded long before he reached the record that he now holds. Unpopular opinion perhaps, but think of what the Twins could have gotten for Nathan after a couple of those dominant seasons.
     
    If you do drugs, what do drugs do?
    ~ @ERolfPleiss
     
    l don't do drugs. Drugs make me sick. They're bad for your body. Up with hope, down with dope!
     
    That being said, drugs mimic the brain's natural chemicals. However, because these chemicals are no longer in the proper quantities or being released as the brain is used to, drugs tell your brain to take more drugs, which leads to addiction. Your brain doesn't get it because it used to like these chemicals, just not like this, man. Now the brain is all confused and disjointed and things start to go all haywire and wonky. Haywire + Wonky = bad.
     
    The message is clear: No!!!!!!!!! Drugs
     
    Please use three Twins player names as verbs.
    ~ Brad S, St. Paul, MN
     
    Fine, but you'll have to use context clues to determine what each verb means.
     

    Mikey Pelfed his steak. He ate it anyway.
    Even though he was really nervous, Joey really Mauered his spelling test. He celebrated with milk.
    Trev really Plouffed that ball. It almost went through his legs twice.

    Brad Swanson is the butternut squash of blog-guys. He really Pelfed this mailbag. If you have a better answer to any of these questions or future question for him to answer, please respond in the comments. 10Q.
×
×
  • Create New...