strikezoid: noun pronounced strike ĕh(tip of the cap to our northern neighbors) zoid antecedent: strike zone Definition: a curious shape that defies normal geometric definitions. This shape, which changes from minute to minute, is designed to drive both batters and fans crazy. In fact, this shape, while correctly known as a "strikezoid" is often confused with the "strike zone." However, since strike zones are rectangular in shape, the distinction quickly becomes obvious. Back to the subject at hand: strikezoid. It has become apparent the umpires have designed a new shape for the strike zone. Henceforth known as the "strikezoid." Curiously, the strikezoid seems to be somewhat of a shape shifter, favoring first one team, then the other. I'm not sure why this is, however, I'm just your humble observer and offer no explanations. Huh? What's that, RB? Twins? I'm supposed to talk about the Twins? Why? So what if the home town nine lost nine straight to start the season. I thought the issue of the strikezoid was far more pressing. Okay, fine, be that way. Yeesh, go off on a tangent, and the voices in your head start complaining. Anyway, as our inimitable stat gurus have pointed out, the Twins record in no way reflected the underlying stats and there was no way things would not turn around. However, for those of us who are realists (some call us "pessimists") it seemed like some were blowing smoke. Unfortunately, the tokers, I mean, people blowing smoke, were wrong. However, as fans, we're getting to see players we've heard a lot about. I think the future looks good; it's the here and now that is somewhat painful. Since RB also likes to have some things to think about, here goes: 1. Joe Mauer: Too early to ponder batting title plus Comeback Player of the Year? 2. Flying First Class: Not as plush as I remember. No more leather seats. 3. Brian Dozier: I don't know what to think. 4. In Flight TV: Evidently, airlines have sold commercial time to networks. I was treated <sarcasm to a montage of NBC shows. 5. Berrios: We're pretty sure he can pitch, but, can he play right field? 6. Weather: The warmest place in America was Frostbite Falls, MN? (okay, okay, yes, it was in MN, but hey, every baseball thread needs a moose and squirrel reference. 7. Flying: Phoenix Sky Harbor - Is there a cooler name for an airport? In closing, I would like to thank the fabulous discgolfer for the thread idea. (sorry Brian, this material just spoke to me) By the way, discgolfer? Really? You play "frolf?" Why not own up to it, be proud, loud and proclaim that you "don't play frolf to feel bad, you play bad frolf but feel good."
Lineups to follow. Posted from, you guessed it, Sky Harbor.