Riverbrian

What was it about him? You lasted a month.

22 million... Chief would go out with him.

Loserdude: so how ya been... It's been awhile. ChiTown: oh you know... The same... Working.... Tennis in the mornings... Baking... Trips to Ft. Myers... A little Bach and Yo Yo Ma in my spare time and the Twins of course. Loserdude: I bet you are wondering why I'm calling. ChiTown: not really loserdude: well I ran into that friend of yours... Can't remember her name... But she said I should call you. I've been doing a little painting lately. I started painting baskets of fruit until I found my true calling. That's road kill. Skunks... Deer... You name it... Dead on the side of the road... I've been able to capture that on my canvas. ChiTown: listen I'm not interested in what you are doing now... I've moved on... You and I we don't have... Loserdude... Last week I won the lottery... 22 million after taxes... ChiTown: I got nothing going on Friday.

.66 seconds to be exact.

I'm not sure what they have planned for 2014... But... I found the 2013 spring training pie chart of what they worked on for this year.

She has been gone awhile... The call must have came. I'm betting that she will be going on a date with this guy sometime in the next week.

Yeah... It's been a long year... Ain't it.

“You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time...” -- Stephen Wright

Riverbrian: Honey... Old goat was wondering if you were impressed with the picture quality of the phone. Honey: you tell old goat... That I'm gonna take his phone and take a bunch of photos of hot men... See how he likes it. Riverbrian: it wasn't old goat who took the photo. Honey: oh... So you lied to me... It was you after all... Why couldn't you just say that... Riverbrian: no it wasn't old goat... It was... Honey: so this is why you wanted a smartphone... To put half naked women on it... Well enjoy your photo clarity... And when you look at that stuff... Think of me... Think of everything I do around here. Riverbrian: Hey now... I'm 48 years old... A phone call shouldn't cause this... Honey: 48 years old... 48 years old and you have a new toy. Riverbrian: OK... Is there anything you want me to clean... I could vacuum something right now.

He will call again... He is still on the hunt. After he is done hunting... Is when saying he will and not calling happens.

OK... Samsung Galaxy S3... I learned how to S Beam stuff but I only know 3 people who I can S Beam with and those 3 people only have a few things that I wanted S beamed to my phone. There is a blue notification light that blinks but I can't figure out what it's notifying me about. It lit up the room all night last night. A coworker took a photo with it and attached it to his contact. It was a picture of two girls in a bikini... He called me while I was mowing the lawn tonight. My wife answered the phone and saw the picture and she isn't happy with me. I didn't know it was there but this new phone sure shows the photo in full quality.

During the upcoming phone call... Do you think he's gonna explain how he's changed and he's ready for another month?

You dated him for a month... Why didn't it last two months?

I wasn't counting but I'm pretty close when I say that I heard people say PONDER in some context about 50 times today.

I'm game... Who's calling and why?

What's the deal... Is everyone waiting for me to talk about some besides the Twins?

Tigers: SP Justin Verlander CF Jackson RF Hunter 3B Cabrera 1B Fielder DH Martinez LF Dirks 2B Infante C Avila SS Santiago Twins: SP Mike Pelfrey CF Presley RF Herrmann 2B Dozier LF Arcia C Pinto DH Willingham 1B Parmelee 3B Escobar SS Florimon Things to Think About: 1. The Tigers... Playoff Bound... They can hit and and they can pitch... Fielding is a work in progress but the other two things seems to make up for it. 2. Justin Verlander... He won't be a fun guy for the Twins to face no matter how average he has been... He's not the ace of the staff anymore... Right now you got to put Scherzer over him in the rankings. 3. Think about Cabrera... Miggy is the top hitter in baseball... We used to talk about Pujols the way we talk about Miggy... In a few years we will be talking about someone else and Cabrera will turn into the modern day Pujols... We may have to wait a few years for that. 4. Think about... 1,000 Wins... To pat myself on the back... I said that 1,000 Wins for Ron Gardenhire was a not sure thing back in August... The Twins seemed to be statistically in position to reach the 68 wins this year to hit 1,000 for Gardenhire... However, I thought it would go down to the wire... It looks like it is down to the wire. 7 games left... 3 wins to go... The Tigers and the Indians left on the schedule. Before Oakland it was 3 wins with 10 to go. Getting Swept by the A's... Really lengthens out the odds. 5. Think about a dry sense of humor... I was hanging with an old friend this weekend. He started munching on Animal Crackers and he'd offer me some. I didn't feel like Animal Crackers at the time. Here is how the conversation went: Friend: (Holds out the Box toward me) Have some Riverbrian: Ahh Animal Crackers... No Thanks... I'm good (5 Minutes Later) Friend: (Reaches the box toward me) Are you sure you don't want any? Riverbrian: (Laughs) No I'm sure... It's been years... Not since my Boys were young... I didn't really like them back then. I'm Good... But Thanks. (5 Minutes Later) Friend: Have some... Riverbrian: Seriously... No... I'm good... (5 Minutes Later) Friend: I've almost eaten the whole box. Have the last of them. Riverbrian: (trying a different approach) I can't... I'm a... I'm a Vegetarian Friend: (sincerely) Oh God I'm Sorry... I didn't know... I wouldn't have been flaunting them if I knew. (3 Hours Later... No further mention of animal crackers up to this point) Friends Wife: I didn't know you were a vegetarian Riverbrian: Actually... I'm... (Pause... looking at the table of meatless food prepared by her and thinking of the effort made to prepare it... and then deciding against coming clean) Riverbrian: Well... I don't tell a lot of people. Friend: Good thing you said something... We had tenderloins ready to go. Friends Wife: That's OK... We will have them some other day. I had a Corn Casserole recipe that I've been wanting to try. Friend: How's the vegetarian thing going? Riverbrian: Umm... Good... It's pretty easy... I just stay away from Lions and Bears and Elephants. (They Laugh and it's clear to me that I'm not easily understood)

Twins: SP Cole DeVries CF Alex Presley 2B Brian Dozier 3B Trevor Plouffe LF Oswaldo Arcia DH Josmil Pinto 1B Chris Parmelee RF Darin Mastroianni SS Pedro Florimon C Eric Fryer A's: SP Sonny Gray CF Coco Crisp SS Jed Lowrie 3B Josh Donaldson LF Brandon Moss DH Yeonis Cespedes RF Josh Reddick 1B Daric Barton C Stephen Vogt 2B Eric Sogard Things to think about: 1. Coco Crisp... I can't believe that I've started all these game threads facing the A's and have not mentioned Coco Crisp yet. I'm slipping... He's a real nice combo of speed and power. But... His skill isn't the thing to think about... It's his name... Coco Crisp? When he gets older... He will change it to Fiber One. 2. The A's... Anyone tired of playing them? The beatings have been Severe. They can clinch the west today. I'm sure they want to do it in front of the home fans. 3. Eric Fryer... Fryer getting the start behind the plate. Every time I read his name... I think of every delicious food. Even a Snickers Bar tastes good deep fried. 4. The Vikings... The Browns have scored 24 points at halftime. 5. Cuteness... I heard someone call a puppy. "Cute as a button". I looked down at my shirt... I looked at a button... I tried to look at the button from multiple angles. In the end... I didn't get it. Maybe I'm just not a button guy.

No Problem... I have to get back on the road again today... So... It was helpful.

2. Think about Thank You... Thanks ChiTown for posting the Game Thread... I was just about to post it but it's covered and that's Cool. 3. Think about Oakland... When they Roll... They Roll... It's been awhile since I've seen a team just steamroll a team like this in Baseball. They don't just beat us... The Slap us silly. You are right today is a new day. 4. Think about 1,000 Wins... I'm gonna keep thinking about this until Gardy gets it... THIS YEAR!!! 5. Think about Budget Meetings... It's difficult to makes Ends Meet... It's also difficult to make Meetings End. A budget meeting has the potential to last forever!!! I'm not going to call one... I see the potential problem that lies ahead.

Fellow Mods... If I don't get a Game Thread up by 4PM Central Time tomorrow... That's What... 8AM Pacific Time... If I don't get it up by 4PM... I will be on the road and unable. Could someone start a game thread if its past 4 and absent? Its probably best to assume I won't get it posted but if I get a chance I will. Busy day tomorrow and I gotta see what my pillow feels like. To close with Brahms... Guten Abend Gute Nacht.

I can't take the way he sings... But I love to hear him talk.

I actually like Brahms. Chopin would be the other favorite... I tend to lean toward those who are piano centric.