Riverbrian

Beirut is fine... Pennsylvania is a problem though.

It's the only reason I can kid... Because I'm already feeling it. True Story... I was coaching baseball last week. The game was being umped by a 20 something umpire who is also a linebacker at the University of North Dakota. I asked him what his 40 time was and he said 4.7. I then starting giving him crap... 4.7... I could beat that and he laughed so I said... Yeah... Let's race right now. So we did... My 48 year old body and his collegiate athlete body... Home to 1st... Anyway... I hung with him for half way down the line... We were right in stride... and then my legs just gave out and down I went. It was weird... It was like my legs turned into empty air mid stride and down I went. They Just quit and I knew it when it happened that I was going to plunge to the turf. I've ran a little a bit lately but I've never really tried to go full speed... My Legs just said to me... Nope... I'm not going to let you do that... At your age.

It's Ok... We Understand... You would need your sleep after playing Tennis at your age.

Look at the Hammer Hops

Its Ok... We understand... You need your sleep at your age.

Thanks String... I just noticed them missing and got them up.

Royals SP: Jason Vargas 1. Escobar SS 2. Hosmer 1B 3. Butler DH 4. Gordon LF 5. Perez C 6. Ibanez RF 7. Infante 2B 8. Moustakis 3B 9. Dyson CF Twins SP: Kevin Correia 1. Nunez SS 2. Dozier 2B 3. Parmelee 1B 4. Morales DH 5. Willingham LF 6. Arcia RF 7. Plouffe 3B 8. Fryer C 9. Fuld CF Things to Think About: 1. Termites for Supper -- 15 Hits for the Twins lately is a lot like pushing a stick into a termite hole to catch termites for food and pulling out a 100 dollar bill and taking that 100 dollars to a restaurant and having a big steak. You were expecting termites but you got a steak. That's a nice happy night. Once you have a steak... you don't want to go back to the termites. Although... I wonder... As Humans... If we ate Termites and liked them. Would we all become termite experts? Would we learn how to catch them? Would this cause exterminators to struggle from lack of business because there would be less termites? Or would this just cause the development of a new termite industry? Termite farms with product packaged and sold in supermarkets. If there were less Termites would the Twins hit better all the time. Or is there no correlation at all? 2. Joe Mauer -- Everyone's favorite 23 Million dollar a year target strained his oblique yesterday. Oblique is one of those fancy words that doctors use. Basically... Mauer strained his tummy. I strain my tummy all the time. Usually it's after the third helping of Hamburger Helper. I think my tummy is actually under constant strain. When I call it a tummy it sounds like I'm trivializing his injury. I'm really not... I'm sure it's sore and it's probably best that he rests it. When I call it a tummy... I just want to sound like I know what I'm talking about. 3. Jason Vargas -- He's a 31 year old lefthander from Apple Valley (Pause)... Umm... California. Almost had you thinking he was a local boy. BTW... True Fact... Apple Valley Minnesota used to be called Lebanon Township. It was renamed Apple Valley because it reminded them of Apple Valley California... Developers thought Apple Valley(Lebanon Township) Minnesota was a nice community like Apple Valley California so they shared the name. Lebanon on the other hand is war torn with suicide bombers all over the place. Although Lebanon Pennsylvania has been working to solve these problems... There are religious differences in the region and the Amish occasionally break away from making furniture to take time to strap explosives on their horse and buggy. Back to Apple Valley California... It's on the edge of the Mojave Desert with heat so high that people melt... leaving little puddles of people all over the place. With the Heat and the Desert... You can see why Apple Valley Minnesota is exactly like Apple Valley California. Back to Jason Vargas... He's been an average pitcher his entire career and his best tool is his ability to changes speeds. Which is also my best skill. I can drive 55 when I need to and I can drive 30 when I need to and I locate my car pretty well. 4. Eduardo Nunez -- Back to Back starts at SS... There was much concern over his defense coming out of New York. I won't declare him a defensive superstar but I continue to say... That I have not personally seen anything to suggest that he can't play with a glove on his hand. When Gardenhire moved Escobar to 2B so Nunez could play short... To me it suggests that Gardy thinks Nunez will probably struggle turning a DP. Wherever you play Nunez... His bat has been working and we should probably find a spot for him somewhere. 5. At the Class Reunion -- One of the most popular questions asked at the reunion to catch up is what are people doing for a living. One guy I was talking with has been a bit down on his luck. When asked what he was doing for a living... He said that "He's been unemployed for the past 10 years and he recently started selling furniture". I told him... "Congratulations... It must feel great after 10 years without a job". He responded back "Yeah it's nice to have some money in my pocket but now I have no place to sit after selling my furniture".

He gets credit for a catch made in a zone that doesn't see a lot of catches and because many balls are simple routine catches and the weighting involved on those that are not. His UZR will become untrustworthy like almost everybody else's.

Rice is great if you want to eat 2,000 of something. That is genius

Winnie the Blue

I met him once... He could barely see three feet in front of his face... He was so wasted. I said Hello to him and he thought it was funny and laughed and laughed. So I started laughing because he was laughing and soon everyone was laughing until we were crying and all I said was Hello... Pleasure to meet you. Comic genius tho.

I need 3 people for a lot of things.

"You have to give me time to guess". - Mitch Hedberg May he rest in peace

Wait... Yes I do... Three weeks ago... I accidentally glued my forehead to a freshly painted table while getting a whiff of the paint. That counts... I'm a decoupager.

Damn... I love those.

I can't remember the last time I decoupaged!!!

If we had a wall like that... My wife would make me rake it.

Alright... Back from the Diamond... What I miss... The Twins must be swinging it pretty good.

Rubber Band said Pardon Me and Spontaneously combusted.

87 was an incredible year!!!

Just called up today... Strike Zone is ridiculous... Used to be a guaranteed walk... then pitchers starting rolling it.

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