Riverbrian

Bark!!! Ooo Ooo!!!! Take the leg statues that Chitown posted and finish them with Twins faces on them

Like the statues... the answer to your question is: Partially

Yeah my mistake... I meant that Chicago Pizza weighs 100 pounds.

Inspired by the 3 game opening series sweep of the Kansas City Royals, my plan was to kick this thing off with a history of sweeping. My initial google search led me to a Washington Post article, “Roots is a sweeping history,” and that was not the direction I planned on heading. I continued to search but it became obvious that no one knows when sweeping started. There is a mention of the act of sweeping in the bible so I assume it has been around awhile. I decided to give up trying to sound like I knew something about such things. I rarely use a broom… I’m not even sure how you plug them in… and I’m a Twins Fan so it’s not like I’m getting a lot of sweeping experience that way either. Here are some things to think about: Inspired by the 3 game opening series sweep of the Kansas City Royals, my plan was to kick this thing off with a history of sweeping. My initial google search led me to a Washington Post article, “Roots is a sweeping history,” and that was not the direction I planned on heading. I continued to search but it became obvious that no one knows when sweeping started. There is a mention of the act of sweeping in the bible so I assume it has been around awhile. I decided to give up trying to sound like I knew something about such things. I rarely use a broom… I’m not even sure how you plug them in… and I’m a Twins Fan so it’s not like I’m getting a lot of sweeping experience that way either. Here are some things to think about: 1. Chicago – The Windy City is a weird place. Just cruise by the art and it doesn’t take long to come to that conclusion. Chicagoans are basically down to earth people but when they make a concentrated effort to be snobby… they choose to be snobby about… of all things… Hot Dogs. They like their sandwiches wet which is odd because Clark Griswold is from Chicago and he clearly didn’t like his sandwich wet at all. Every Friday night they hold turtle races at Big Joe's. This is not a race between Greg Luzinski and Ron Kittle… they race actual turtles; the races begin at 9:30 on Friday nights and they end on the following Thursdays at 6PM. Chicago has LED faces that spit water, a 100 pound steel bean that distorts your reflection, buildings that are shaped like corn cobs, 16 inch softballs and Oprah Winfrey. Chicago also has 37 bridges that separate to allow cars to fall into the river and that river turns green once a year probably from all the anti-freeze leaking out of the cars that fall into the river because of those unpredictable bridges. 2. Our Twins – Life is good right now in Twins Territory. Three games and three wins and we have nothing to complain about. Not that we won’t try to complain anyway. Byron Buxton looks like September was a long time ago, Joe Mauer looks like 2009 was a long time ago, Brian Dozier hasn’t homered yet but Sano has and Jason Castro has pitch framed his pitching staff to 5 runs in 27 innings for an ERA under 2. I see no reason the Twins won’t keep winning as long as the White Sox walk 16 batters over 3 games like the Royals did. 3. The White Sox – It was a partial fire sale for the Sox this off season. Rumors were frequent that everyone was going away. Sale, Eaton, Quintana, Frazier, Abreu were on the trading block but like typical White Sox… they just couldn’t complete the plan. They may have moved Quintana but the asking price became too high after what they received for Eaton. They just ain’t going to trade their players for any ole’ hot dog. They want a special Hot Dog and they want mustard, onions, relish, tomatoes, peppers and celery salt thrown into the deal. What a bunch of snobs they are!!! 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation Mauer: Hey Joe, what are you doing. Maddon: I’m watching this giraffe here on my phone. Her name is April and she is going to give birth any moment. McCarthy: She still hasn’t given birth yet. Jeez… Let that thing drop already. Mauer: That’ll be a long drop… they should put down some pillows or something. McCarthy: I was watching last month and I got tired of waiting. Maddon: Last month? McCarthy: Yeah it’s been streaming for about a month now… Still Waiting I guess. Mauer: People have been watching this… all that time? McCarthy: Yeah Maddon: The same people who think baseball is too long? McCarthy: Yeah… The Same People. 5. Privacy – My wife told me that she didn’t want me posting her private details publicly anymore. Not on Twins Daily, Facebook, Twitter or anything like that… She said that it wasn’t anyone else’s business. I love her and respect her so I told her that I wouldn’t, although I suspect that her hemorrhoids are making her a little cranky. ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Brian Dozier 2B Robbie Grossman DH Byron Buxton CF Miguel Sano 1B Jorge Polanco SS Max Kepler RF Eduardo Escobar 3B Chris Gimenez C Eddie Rosario LF Phil Hughes, P WHITE SOX Tyler Saladino 2B Tim Anderson SS Melky Cabrera LF Jose Abreu 1B Todd Frazier 3B Cody Asche DH Avisail Garcia RF Geovany Soto C Leury Garcia CF Derek Holland, P Game-time forecast: 45 deg F, a few clouds here and there, very low chance of rain, winds at 5mph from the east ... which means from across the lake ... brrrrrr. View full article

I'm liking Escobar starting at SS today because I'm a firm believer in letting everybody on the roster compete for a job. I know this won't be popular but if Santana is going to make the roster... play him. If given the opportunity and they fail... then you move on and when you move on... they can't say they weren't given a chance. Players sitting 1 game a week so others can be mixed hurts nobody. It probably won't hurt the team in the short term but if it does it will help the team in the long run. I don't want a repeat of last year with Molitor going back to the same struggling players and letting Polonco, Kepler and Arcia watch it happen from the bench. If they made the roster... give them some playing time. So I'm happy with Escobar playing and I hope to see Santana and Gimenez tomorrow. Jeez... that's the most baseball I've ever typed in a game thread. I might be coming down with something

This is still your best

I LOVE BARK ART!!!

I just stopped with the biscuits. Just doing the gravy now.

Put Falvey in there somewhere

IT'S BEEN AWHILE!!! C'mon.. That was the lowest hanging fruit What are doing way up there in the trees. You could have stayed on your knees.

In all seriousness... (I have to type something like that when I'm actually serious). I wonder about Buxton 3 and Mauer 4 like everybody else but... I believe that Mauer should be handcuffed to Buxton hitting behind him in the order. So... 3 4 is kinda OK with me. OK... I'll duck behind furniture now to avoid the tomatoes.

I wonder if the Royals will start trading Hosmer, Moose and Cain tomorrow.

Hey look... That's Sano up

My doctor did the same thing but told me 10 Feet 10 Inches

Yeah it's possible... let's go with that. Just so you know... I wouldn't bother fact checking anything I type. It's pointless since I typically don't fact check anything before I type it.

67 Game Winners?

I assume you didn't just screw off a cap or pop a tab because that wouldn't have taken that long.

I just got caught up and read all of the posts and just as I did... Sano got the Twins caught up. Caught up Synergy.

Almost as good as Travis Rabbithat

I'd agree with that but I'd rather have less runners reaching third base.

He crossed the plate with the World Series winning run. That's great enough for me. At least Cory didn't use that description for Ron Davis.

My wife is nodding her head up and down to signify agreement.

It would get way too quiet because everybody would run out of subject matter.

I've got this as the new post of the day.