Riverbrian

Timothy Spall I had to google him And then I laughed at his selection.

Come On Best!!! Without a doubt She called me twice a day for a month after that. I had to have someone tell her that I died while trying to get to the phone to get her to finally stop.

There's More... I've got one of the finest collections in the world.

I just start typing and whatever spills out... stays. BTW... What does "Seriously" mean?

“Total System Failure.” Those words spoken by owner Jim Pohlad are going to ring in our ears for a while. It’s an apt description for the 2016 Minnesota Twins thus far. Mistakes and failures large and small dominate our recorded history of the human race so the Twins are not the first and only… nor will they be the last. Mistakes are what inspired the songwriting of the Australian Band “Men at Work”. If I’m not mistaken… Here are some things to think about: 1. Christopher Columbus – Back in the year 1492… Columbus set out in search of an easier route to China and India because airline travel had simply become too cumbersome. His ship, the Santa Maria, landed on the shores of what is now present day Knoxville, Tennessee, and during his exploration of the surrounding area he ran across the native people of this wonderful new land. Not knowing he was in Knoxville instead of Bangalore he addressed the natives he encountered “Indians.” Jethro and his gang of Knoxville hillbillies continued this reference and it was passed on from generation to generation until the term became so wide spread that hats were eventually made. It was this epic mistake that created the baseball team we face tonight. 2. Coca-Cola – Back in the year 1985… The powers that be at Coco-Cola decided that selling billions of units every second wasn’t good enough so they set out to change their fortunes. They conducted a 10 person blind taste test to compare the favorability of their product with the product rival Pepsi… Stevie Wonder, Helen Keller and Jim Joyce were among the participants in this now famous blind taste test. The results were shocking when they found that all 10 were apathetic toward both products and would typically buy whatever was on sale that week at the super market. The response to this new information was the epic mistake of what was known as “New Coke.” This new formula was created, marketed and distributed worldwide at great expense, and the consumers were quickly outraged. The original Coke was loved and had been consistent since 1984 and the protests became violent. Max Headroom was burned at the stake, Contras were funded, and the best and brightest of the music industry banded together and sang “We are the World” until the old Coke formula was returned. 3. Waterloo – Back in the year 1812… Napoleon Bonaparte was the Emperor of France. For clarification… Emperor is similar to what Dave St. Peter does around these parts and the word Emperor is French and it means penguin. All in all… Dave St. Peter has been a fine penguin for us but this thought isn’t about that. Napoleon was an aggressive little leader much like Jose Altuve and he quickly expanded his empire. When he marched all the way into Moscow he had come a long way but he looked around and immediately thought… “Uff Da… There is really nothing here of any use at all.” He retreated into the Russian winter and it was brutal; for reference… just imagine the January conditions in Fergus Falls. The lack of food and frigid conditions caused the loss of over 10,000 soldiers and horses in one night alone. The history books do not specify how many of the 10,000 were soldiers and how many were horses but this would become a problem either way because if the majority were horses… the soldiers were going to have to learn to run much faster… and… if the majority were soldiers… the horses were going to have to learn to carry weapons. This led to the epic mistake of the Battle of Waterloo. His army marched into what is now present day northeast Iowa and he simply didn’t have the strength to battle General Ben Jacobson and his long range bombing and the rest is history. All of this was chronicled by 4 individuals… Benny, Bjorn, Agnetha and Frida, who were granted full access to Napoleon during this key moment in world history. 4. The Leaning Tower of Pisa – Back in 1173… The city of Pisa wanted a tower that would reach over 55 metres into the sky because they struggled to hunt geese with the rakes they were using from the ground. The firm “HKS Architecture”… famous for their work on this beautiful brand new football stadium in Minneapolis was hired. It was the clever use of glass to bring the birds down that intrigued the Pisa city council. However… in what is now an epic historical mistake… the architects working on the new structure were not informed of the intended use of the tower and failed to include glass in their plans. Another problem was that the structure was built on tremendously soft ground… right over a large tract of pudding… tapioca to be exact. To this day… the area around Pisa mines and exports more tapioca pudding than any place else in the world. We have learned over the years that the mining of tapioca is very dangerous for the workers because of its unstableness. They have lost three times as many tapioca miners than we have lost coal miners since data started being collected by Bill James back in the 1960’s. What was I talking about? Oh yeah… the leaning tower of Pisa… It leans because it was mistakenly built on tapioca and it didn’t help hunt geese and turned out to be a historical epic mistake… I hope the Vikings stadium turns out better!!! 5. The Incredible Flip and the Aftermath – True Story – I have spent many years goofing around with various rock bands just for the fun of it. At no point did we take ourselves very seriously but we enjoyed each other’s company and it was a great way to spend a weekend at different venues around the area and meet new people. This was my typical rock band experience and it was really good enough for me. But back in 1987… my job had taken me to a land far away and I auditioned for an open front man job with what was… without a doubt… the best rock band in the area. This band did take itself seriously and I really had no business being in this band because serious is hard for me, but I got the gig anyway. Every musician in this band was incredible and this is what they did for a living. I was trying to do it on the side and that was consuming my time because the band practiced hard and frequently. Every member of the band would agonize over wrong notes and what we were doing to entertain besides the music. Nobody was allowed to just stand there and play the notes… they had to at least stick their tongues out or something and at least look like they were into what they were doing. Clothing was a heavy topic of discussion to the point that one of the girlfriends was put in charge of dressing me. We would use pyrotechnics if the room allowed and we constantly re-invested in the overall product by purchasing anything new in the stage lighting world (Fast Forward SFX). One day… I showed up at our practice place early. I was there by myself for a bit of time and this gave me a window to try and think of something new and spectacular for our upcoming show. I was 21 years old and fairly athletic and we had this song we did with driving drums and a dramatic building intro and the first thing that I had to do was sing a high note and hold it. I thought that I could make this better by running from the back of the stage full speed to the edge of it and planting my mic stand on the floor below and using my momentum and the mic stand to flip myself high into the air… timing it perfectly… landing on my feet and hitting the high note exactly when I landed. Go ahead and re-read that last paragraph so you can imagine it in your head. (Pausing here so you can go back and re-read the last paragraph) Yes… I could do this back then… just a low percentage of attempts... not every time. I honestly thought the hard part was going to be holding on to the wireless microphone while planting the mic stand and flipping myself into the air… dropping the mic would have been a disaster and the sound guy would have been pissed by the loud thud it would have made when it hit the ground. So… I practiced it like 10 times on our long drum riser alone before anybody showed up to practice and I nailed it… maybe twice, so I decided it needed some more work. (Fast forward SFX). During the upcoming gig we were about to start the song. I wasn't planning on it at all... it wasn't ready, but I just noticed that there was space on the floor to execute, and I thought… "What the hell," and decided to give it a try. Keep in mind… nobody knew I was going to attempt this… I told no one that I was thinking of this or had even tried it… nobody in the band knew… the sound guy… the light guy… the club owner… nor the entire crowd in attendance, and the place was packed… I was about to spring the most incredible thing on them and blow the room away. Everything went perfectly… the run off the stage… the mic stand plant… the high flip in the air… I held on to the microphone and the timing was absolutely spot on. I flipped into the air… landed directly on my feet and was about to hit that high note on beat but my momentum carried me forward and I flew across the front table… knocking every drink off that table... ending up face first in some surprised girls lap with my feet up in the air. I couldn’t see anything but someone else’s pants, but I could hear the band come to that unplanned stop with each instrument stopping just a little bit behind each other until there was silence. For everyone who was lucky enough to witness this… they are not impressed by the stuff posted on YouTube today because they saw this in-person. In the end… what ended up happening was better, because if I would have nailed it perfectly… they would have talked about it for a week. Because I didn’t… I know they are still talking about it today. True Story. -------------------- Lineups: TWINS Joe Mauer(L) 1B Eduardo Nunez(R ) SS Miguel Sano(R ) RF Trevor Plouffe(R ) 3B Byung-ho Park(R ) DH Brian Dozier(R ) 2B Oswaldo Arcia(L) LF Kurt Suzuki(R ) C Danny Santana(S) CF Ricky Nolasco(R ) P INDIANS Carlos Santana(S) DH Jason Kipnis(L) 2B Francisco Lindor(S) SS Mike Napoli(R ) 1B Jose Ramirez(S) LF Marlon Byrd(R ) RF Yan Gomes(R ) C Juan Uribe(R ) 3B Rajai Davis(R ) CF Josh Tomlin(R ) P Game-time forecast: 62 deg F, partly cloudy, rain is coming ... tomorrow, winds from the west at 10mph. Click here to view the article

Personally I wouldn't call the Pitching Staff young... I would call them tragically average or below average but not young. However... the position players are by at least my definition... young. The Season began with Park, Sano, Buxton and Rosario in the starting lineup. That's 44% of your starting lineup that is a little wet behind the ears. On the Bench I would consider Arcia, Santana and Murphy to be pretty much wet behind the ears and that's 75% of your bench. Potential replacement call ups from the 40 man.... 100% Youth. Illustrated by the fact that Kepler and Polanco were the first players called up. The age and experience of Mauer and the other Vets can blur the overall weighted number but it won't help you 44% of the time.

Seriously? This should cause another closed door meeting at 1 Twins Way. Watch the wire for a Weatherman placed on waivers.

I'm not sure but we are better than every other team's game thread so I have bothered looking.

Experience followed by less experience. It's clearly what Paul tried with the lineup.

The baseball gods looked at the lineup and said... "Mauer batting first? I don't think so" Then they made it rain.

The Twins are the only ones racing a Prius at Daytona.

Right in the middle of the Super Market I'm guessing.

This didn't originally work for me until I sung it to the melody of the Axel F Theme.

Yes... Without a Doubt. And we need a base running mistake. Would someone put those in

Happy Hour at Huberts

Awesome we got 3 runs in the 2nd inning and Berrios on the mound. (High Five)

LOL Yep... It's that scrap heap that Milone and Fein and O' Rourke and Graham just discovered. BTW... Hicks batting 2nd for the Yanks tonight

I actually like Dozier in the 3 better than 1 or 2 because it's closer to 5 or 6 so I'm happy with the progress. Dozier approach at the plate is like a big power hitting drive em in dude so Bat him in the order like someone who approaches his plate appearances like a big power hitting drive em in dude. All in All... Not the way I would do it but I applaud the shake em up style. One last thing... Look at the lineup again. Besides Suzuki... Vets at the top of the order... Youth at the bottom. Molly's handling of youth continues.

I just put my 9 pence in.

You may be right. He's about to get some playing time in NY. I'm waiting until he lands on a scrap heap somewhere before I declare it.

This was the original thread used on May 9. We've decided to do a 're-run' for this makeup game. Today's posts (including today's lineups and weather) begins here. Clearing 25- and 40-man roster space for Mastroianni, Centeno, Kintzler and Dean is the equivalent of the peasant saying, "I don't want to get on the cart!" Twins Daily has collectively shouted back, "Oh, don't be such a baby!" Here's your nine-pence for some things to think about: 1. In Search of the Holy Grail -- Go and tell Pohlad that we've been charged by Minnesotans with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night... he can join us in our quest for the World Series title. Turns out Pohlad wasn't very keen because he already has a couple. Is there someone else up there we can talk to? 2. Where'd You Get the Coconuts? -- You didn't just find them... they do not migrate and they can't be carried by a small bird. It's a question of ratios. When you look at the roster construction of the Minnesota Twins... Somebody from sabermetrics is just going to force us to get a real horse. 3. King of the Swamp -- When Terry Ryan came back... it was all swamp. Everyone said it was daft to build a castle on a swamp but it was built all the same. It sank into the swamp so he built a second one... that sank into the swamp... so he built a third... that burned down... fell over and sank into the swamp. But the 4th one stayed up... so Terry Ryan went and got... more swamp. 4. Excalibur -- I'm thinking about Monty Python and this lead me to think about Excalibur and this lead me to think about Shakopee and the roller coaster at Valley Fair. Baseball Seasons have often been compared to roller coasters. I've never screamed during a roller coaster ride. Yeah... there is a strange sensation that pulls on your body while the ride is in motion. It'll make you grit your teeth a little but I've never screamed. That's because I know that thousands... perhaps millions... have ridden this ride and survived to do it again if they wished. However... if the cars happen to go off the tracks mid-ride... I believe the screaming becomes a little more warranted and natural. If the cars go off the tracks... it would be classified as a Total System Failure. 5. Tis but a Scratch -- True Story -- Back in my high school days I was taking a girl out on a date to the movies. It was a nice summer night and there was also a party that all my friends were at. It was taking place at some gravel pit a couple of miles out of town. Before the movie I needed, or wanted, to stop by and do or say something with my friends... I don't remember what the need or want was but my date was from out of town and didn't know my friends and didn't want to go but I convinced her it was important and she was OK with it... (Fast Forward SFX). So she sat in the car while I talked with my friends for a moment... (Fast Forward SFX). I got done talking to my friends and started walking back to the car and I noticed my date just kind of looking out her passenger side window and not really paying attention. I also noticed that my driver's side passenger window was wide open and for some reason I put two and two together and thought it would be funny to run full speed at the car and jump through the passenger window to surprise her. I mean, think about it... all of us would have done the same thing in consideration of the circumstances... open window and all... (Fast Forward SFX). Everything was going as planned... I ran full speed... my date continued to watch out the opposite passenger side window. I jumped... I arrow-ed myself to fit the open window space. And... well... I may over jumped a little and over arrow-ed a bunch because my head struck the upper frame of the window FLUSH. This not only prevented me from flying through the open car window... it knocked me straight to the ground. And let me tell you this... head wounds bleed and they BLEED... a lot. I was laying on the ground instantly looking like Carrie at the prom. My date and friends were looking around for something to stop the bleeding or at least... I don't know... wipe the blood of my stunned face and clothes. It was a gravel pit... turns out that stuff isn't readily available... (Fast Forward SFX). Ended up returning to my house to bandage up and change clothes. Tis but a scratch... I had Suzuki like toughness... we went to the movies like we planned and my date went to the movies with a guy who had big white gause pad on his head and a pinkish hue to his face because you really need a lot of scrubbing to clean up a recently blood-soaked face. I was struck by the irony of the movie we attended being Superman III... Clark Kent... I am not. True Story -------------------- Lineups: ORIOLES Joey Rickard(R ) LF Manny Machado(R ) SS Adam Jones(R ) CF Chris Davis(L) 1B Mark Trumbo(R ) RF Matt Wieters(S) C Pedro Alvarez(L) DH Jonathan Schoop(R ) 2B Ryan Flaherty(L) 3B Tyler Wilson(R ) P TWINS Joe Mauer(L) 1B Eduardo Nunez(R ) SS Brian Dozier(R ) 2B Trevor Plouffe(R ) 3B Miguel Sano(R ) RF Byung-ho Park(R ) DH Oswaldo Arcia(L) LF Kurt Suzuki(R ) C Danny Santana(S) CF Jose Berrios(R ) P Game-time forecast: 62 deg F, cloudy with a 34% chance of rain, winds from the ESE at 16mph. Go Twins! Please! Click here to view the article

I agree I will never fault Terry Ryan for trading young talent for a player like Kevin Jepsen during a year that we were in contention. I will fault him for waiting until the very end of July to make the deal and I will fault him for it being the only deal he made to fix the bullpen and I will fault him for not improving the pen during the off season. If this was all he was going to do... Might as well kept this Hu guy.

I remember watching MLB Network around the trade deadline and the Twins had just traded Denard Span and Ben Revere. Terry Ryan came on and was asked if the team was rebuilding with these trades and Terry Ryan said that he doesn't believe in rebuilding because it's just an excuse for losing. As the years went by... Everything Terry Ryan did supported this statement. Now we have reached the point where Terry Ryan has been over run by the youth piling up on the farm and spilling on to the 40 man and the 25 man roster and Terry Ryan hired a manager who doesn't want to play youth and youth is pretty much all he has to work with. A GM in our situation needs to ask any candidates for the manager. position.. Do you have a problem playing youth? The reason I ask is... We have a boatload of them arriving and I need to know if you have a problem playing youth. It's going to be a necessity in the very near future. If he did ask Molitor this question before he hired him and Molitor said... "Yeah no problem". Well... you got a problem now. Molitor is going to have to change and adjust to the state of the Minnesota Twins and quit trying to fight it with the Mastro's of the world. This is on Terry Ryan and I hope Terry Ryan can step back and look at it objectively and say to himself. Yep It's on me I shake my head... We just had a recent come to Jesus meeting which resulted in a fairly large shift of the 40 Man and 25 man roster and the result of that meeting was bringing in Mastroianni, Centeno, Kintzler and Dean to fix it? Just step back and look at that... Mastroianni, Centeno, Kintzler and Dean... That's the solution?