Riverbrian

It would make sense since I'm securing my spot on the couch getting ready to watch my first game on TV for the year.

Class Circus Boy... Class You've always had some

It's alright Winston... I like it when you put your 2 cents in. $16.02 is the new total

I really hope we play. Been seriously looking forward to it. With my schedule and the constant day games so far. I have not watched a full game yet on TV and tonight was going to be the first one. No game tonight would be cruel.

Alright... That's 16 bucks... We are a little closer to that world series championship.

The answer is... I haven't seen it but it is possible if the Catholic player doesn't wash his forehead or sweat for 6 weeks.

I've only known them as Polo and when you search for them online they are listed as polo. Golf Shirts? This is the shirt I wear when I golf.

That is great out of the box thinking. Unfortunately not wearing a Twins shirt doesn't guarantee victory... My shirts only have the power to guarantee losses so I need the opposing teams. Rest assured... I have decided to only wear the Twins shirt on off-days. I'm trying to use my power for good instead of evil.

As we prepare for a home series with the Chicago White Sox there is something amazing happening that I need to let you all know about. I have this thing… I have a few things actually but specifically this one thing that is me. If I have been to a stadium… I buy a polo from that team and this collection of polo shirts have basically become my spring, summer and fall ward robe. It is mostly baseball teams but I have football teams and college teams if I have been to those stadiums. I have about 20 different team polo shirts and I have basically rotated them evenly with a new team each day. This is me… this is who I am and I know this is not that interesting so far but here is what is happening. Sometime last August I was wearing my Twins polo and a co-worker said, “Is that your lucky shirt?” I replied “Sure is.” The next day I was wearing a Royals shirt and the co-worker said, “The Twins lost last night so your shirt wasn’t that lucky.” And I replied… “Let’s see how the Royals do tonight.” And the Royals lost as well. It became a running gag and I kid you not… every single time for the rest of the season... whenever I wore a team’s polo… they lost that day… every single time. It carried on to the World Series… I have an Indians polo and I have a Cubs polo because I have been to both stadiums and every time I wore Indians… the Cubs won and vice versa. When game 7 rolled around… I decided that it was too much power for me to possess so I opted to wear my Vikings shirt that day so I wouldn’t influence that final game. Over the off-season I forgot about this shirt power but after the Twins loss on Wednesday it came back to me and I looked back at what I had worn so far this year and what days I wore them and yep… the streak was still intact. The Mariners lost… the Rangers lost… the Orioles lost… the Red Sox lost… the Giants lost… all on days that I wore the team shirt. So… yesterday… I pulled my Tigers shirt out on purpose and the Twins won.You are all welcome and I’m sorry but I don’t have a White Sox shirt yet. I won’t get a team shirt unless I have been to the stadium… that’s my rule. Here is the entire list of team shirts that I have yet to purchase. Yankees, Rays, Blue Jays, Astros, Angels, A’s, Phillies, Marlins, Nationals, Reds, Cardinals, Dodgers, Padres, Rockies, D-Backs and White Sox. So… what is the purpose of this long story? This has been going on long enough, it is obviously real and I’m thinking of starting a fund me page to purposely get me to the other stadiums so I will have all shirts for total control and will therefore… ***GUARANTEE A WORLD SERIES FOR THE MINNESOTA TWINS!!!*** You gotta ask yourself… how bad do you want it? Then start thinking of a proper donation!!! Here are some things to think about: 1. Good Friday – My wife is a faithful practicing Catholic… I’m Lutheran so you can say that I’m a little more relaxed. She reminded me last night that it was Good Friday… so I got up at 3AM this morning to beat the crowd and buy me a new TV. My wife explained that I confused it with Black Friday and went on to explain that Good Friday meant that we were having fish for supper tonight. 2. Our Twins – We are currently 6-3 and this is so much better than the 0-9 start last year. I’ve read a lot of TD’ers talk about pulling the plug on Grossman… outfield defense has been one of the main motivations for those outbursts but you have to admit that he was one of our better hitters last year and he hasn’t stopped being one of our better hitters so far this year. And when you consider that he was fighting for a career last year and is doing what it takes to have a career… I think it’s a wonderful story and he will have my full-throated support which also means that it’s damn easy to choke on. 3. The White Sox – This our second go around with the Pale Hose this year. This time around I’d like to simply point out that Moncada, Giolito, Kopech, the other guy… and the other guy… are all in the minor leagues. I’m pointing it out so everyone can see that the Twins are not the only team who do that with prospects. The White Sox will start calling them up later this year… probably starting with the other guy… or the other guy. I’m not sure which one. 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation Mauer: Hey Joe… Have you ever thought about how small we are compared to the planet and then how small our planet is compared to the solar system and how small the solar system is compared to the… Maddon: (Interrupting) Yes I have… I’ve taken it even further… I’ve thought about fleas and ticks and how small they are compared to a dog and how small one of those tea cup Chihuahuas is compared to a Great Dane and stretched that all the way to the size of the universe. I’ve shouted to the universe at the top of my lungs “I EXIST” to make me feel not so small. McCarthy: Did the Universe shout back? Maddon: I thought it did but it was my wife yelling back, “Don’t remind me.” 5. Fortune Cookies – I’m making the declaration that I’m not opening up my stupid fortune cookie anymore. They no longer have fortunes in them… they have little statements like “Life is Beautiful” and that’s it. They used to have predictions in them… “Your Shoes Will Make You Happy Today”… “Stay away from people named Carole”… “Your friend who owes you money has enough to pay you back right now so hurry over and collect quickly.” I want that type of thing back in my cookie or I’m not opening it anymore. Of course with that stance… I’m not going to know if they go back to the old format. ____________________ Lineups: WHITESOX Tim Anderson SS Tyler Saladino 2B Jose Abreu 1B Todd Frazier DH Avisail Garcia RF Matt Davidson 3B Willy Garcia LF Kevan Smith C Leury Garcia CF Dylan Covey P TWINS Brian Dozier 2B Robbie Grossman DH Joe Mauer 1B Miguel Sano 3B Max Kepler RF Jason Castro C Jorge Polanco SS Eddie Rosario LF Byron Buxton CF Adalberto Mejia P Game-time forecast: 62 deg F, definitely cloudy, probably rainy, winds from the SSE at 14mph. Might be a late game if they push back the start time to after the rain. But, it's only a 73% chance, so that means there's a 27% chance it won't. Play ball! And stay away from people named Brian, too. Click here to view the article

I'm hoping to see more of it. I'm hoping the word logjam is managed right out of the game of baseball.

I've said before that the opening day roster looks like multiple people running different directions while trying to meet in the middle and I still believe that. I admit that I spent my time expressing concern about the lack of aggressiveness toward the building of the bullpen. However... The decision makers had all winter to put together a 40 man roster and all of spring training to decide on a 25 man roster and this is what they come up with. I didn't understand it and I didn't agree with it. But Soon?... after 28 Innings of bullpen work... 4 runs allowed... 26 strikeouts. If the powers that be made an adjustment to a bullpen producing those results... If they changed course with a 5-3 record a mere 8 games after spending the off season picking out a 40 man roster and all of spring training choosing this for a 25 man roster. That would be about the time that I decide that we have hired a couple of wishy washy dudes who are nowhere near ready to run a baseball franchise. I'll forgive them for not agreeing with me... I won't forgive them if they can't agree with themselves.

That would be an incredibly dangerous game played by a first time POBO and first time GM trying to secure a long term future in Major League Baseball. If it backfired... I'm not sure how they would explain that strategy in job interviews and come out looking good.

Making sense has never been anything that I have striven for.

Regardless of what half cooked defensive metrics suggest... Dozier is not below average defensively. Also...The Polanco arm thing is starting to take on a life of its own. His has arm strength... I've seen him make throws from the hole with plenty of zip. Accuracy... may be the arm issue but I see many posters report it as an arm strength issue.

Its’ the Twins vs. the Tigers and the big questions is: What is going in Minnesota? The last time I asked that question was when Jesse Ventura was elected Governor. Jesse “The Body” won in 1998 with a campaign war chest of 300 thousand dollars while our Twins are winning with a war chest of 20 players who went undrafted in most fantasy baseball leagues on the 25 man roster. The Twins have thus far beaten the Skip Humphrey Royals and the Norm Coleman White Sox and once that happens… you can get that light rail built. Here are some things to think about: 1. Detroit – In the investment world there is an old saying… “The time to buy is when there’s blood in the streets.” So… buy Detroit!!! Do it now before it gets all revitalized and stuff. The automobile industry isn’t what it once was and is for the most part out of Detroit now leaving behind poverty, crime and urban blight; you know, basically all of the stuff that the tourism industry loves to work with when crafting those clever ad campaigns: Detroit: The Midnight Trains to Anywhere are full to capacity. Detroit: You gotta lose your life in Detroit Rock City Detroit: The New Orleans of the North Detroit: The reason why Eminem has a nervous eye twitch Detroit: It’s even worse than Robocop predicted 2. Our Twins – So far we have a small sample size proof that pitching and defense can win you baseball games. We’ve had 5 games of good pitching and defense and 1 game where the pitching and defense failed us. I’ll let you all guess which games we won and which one we lost. Sano is looking like he might hit 50 bombs this year while Escobar and Polanco are both coming up big. Castro has also been a decent offensive force but all in all… it hasn’t been the offense getting it done. Dozier has been average but well below expectation thus far and Kepler, Mauer, Rosario and Buxton have to get hot to get to average with the bat. It’s been pitching and defense… perhaps the two things we were most concerned about after North Korea and Charlie Sheen. 3. The Tigers – The Tigers are motivated to win this year for owner Mike Ilitch who passed away in February. It’s been well publicized that Illitch wanted to win a title for Detroit while he was alive; and he spent a lot of money in that quest but sadly never achieved it. The Tigers will wear a “Mr. I” patch on their jerseys in tribute. Mr. I also owned the Red Wings and Little Caesars Pizza. Will this wake up the Tigers and spur them to loftier heights? Maybe… but I should point out that the Red Wings were motivated enough to finish the season 11-14-3 and Little Caesars Pizza is about to get overtaken by Papa John’s despite those commercials that seem to imply that Papa John Schnatter is personally touching every pizza. 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation McCarthy: Hey Joe… I was driving on Highway 10 and drove right through the town of Big Lake. Mauer: I’ve been there. Maddon: How big was the lake? McCarthy: Not that Big… I could see across to the other side easily. Maddon: I wonder who named the lake? Mauer: Whoever it was… they had nothing left when they reached Mille Lacs after wasting Big. McCarthy: I didn’t see any Elks around Elk River, either. 5. Privacy – My wife has been giving me the silent treatment this past week. I didn’t realize that she that was doing that. I just thought we were getting along great. ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Brian Dozier 2B Robbie Grossman DH Jorge Polanco SS Miguel Sano 3B Jason Castro C Chris Gimenez 1B Eddie Rosario LF Byron Buxton CF Danny Santana RF Hector Santiago P TIGERS Ian Kinsler 2B Nick Castellanos 3B Miguel Cabrera 1B Victor Martinez DH Justin Upton LF Mikie Mahtook RF James McCann C JaCoby Jones CF Dixon Machado SS Matt Boyd P Game-time forecast: 62 deg F, some sun, some clouds - about half and half, small chance of rain, but probably not, winds coming from the WSW at 11mph. Play ball! Click here to view the article

I love it. He is also looking like he isn't going to let anyone turn to dust on the bench either. Keep it up Paul.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. You can't beat Bark Art!!! These gems will never go under appreciated by me.

Bark!!! Ooo Ooo!!!! Take the leg statues that Chitown posted and finish them with Twins faces on them

Like the statues... the answer to your question is: Partially

Yeah my mistake... I meant that Chicago Pizza weighs 100 pounds.

Inspired by the 3 game opening series sweep of the Kansas City Royals, my plan was to kick this thing off with a history of sweeping. My initial google search led me to a Washington Post article, “Roots is a sweeping history,” and that was not the direction I planned on heading. I continued to search but it became obvious that no one knows when sweeping started. There is a mention of the act of sweeping in the bible so I assume it has been around awhile. I decided to give up trying to sound like I knew something about such things. I rarely use a broom… I’m not even sure how you plug them in… and I’m a Twins Fan so it’s not like I’m getting a lot of sweeping experience that way either. Here are some things to think about: 1. Chicago – The Windy City is a weird place. Just cruise by the art and it doesn’t take long to come to that conclusion. Chicagoans are basically down to earth people but when they make a concentrated effort to be snobby… they choose to be snobby about… of all things… Hot Dogs. They like their sandwiches wet which is odd because Clark Griswold is from Chicago and he clearly didn’t like his sandwich wet at all. Every Friday night they hold turtle races at Big Joe's. This is not a race between Greg Luzinski and Ron Kittle… they race actual turtles; the races begin at 9:30 on Friday nights and they end on the following Thursdays at 6PM. Chicago has LED faces that spit water, a 100 pound steel bean that distorts your reflection, buildings that are shaped like corn cobs, 16 inch softballs and Oprah Winfrey. Chicago also has 37 bridges that separate to allow cars to fall into the river and that river turns green once a year probably from all the anti-freeze leaking out of the cars that fall into the river because of those unpredictable bridges. 2. Our Twins – Life is good right now in Twins Territory. Three games and three wins and we have nothing to complain about. Not that we won’t try to complain anyway. Byron Buxton looks like September was a long time ago, Joe Mauer looks like 2009 was a long time ago, Brian Dozier hasn’t homered yet but Sano has and Jason Castro has pitch framed his pitching staff to 5 runs in 27 innings for an ERA under 2. I see no reason the Twins won’t keep winning as long as the White Sox walk 16 batters over 3 games like the Royals did. 3. The White Sox – It was a partial fire sale for the Sox this off season. Rumors were frequent that everyone was going away. Sale, Eaton, Quintana, Frazier, Abreu were on the trading block but like typical White Sox… they just couldn’t complete the plan. They may have moved Quintana but the asking price became too high after what they received for Eaton. They just ain’t going to trade their players for any ole’ hot dog. They want a special Hot Dog and they want mustard, onions, relish, tomatoes, peppers and celery salt thrown into the deal. What a bunch of snobs they are!!! 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation Mauer: Hey Joe, what are you doing. Maddon: I’m watching this giraffe here on my phone. Her name is April and she is going to give birth any moment. McCarthy: She still hasn’t given birth yet. Jeez… Let that thing drop already. Mauer: That’ll be a long drop… they should put down some pillows or something. McCarthy: I was watching last month and I got tired of waiting. Maddon: Last month? McCarthy: Yeah it’s been streaming for about a month now… Still Waiting I guess. Mauer: People have been watching this… all that time? McCarthy: Yeah Maddon: The same people who think baseball is too long? McCarthy: Yeah… The Same People. 5. Privacy – My wife told me that she didn’t want me posting her private details publicly anymore. Not on Twins Daily, Facebook, Twitter or anything like that… She said that it wasn’t anyone else’s business. I love her and respect her so I told her that I wouldn’t, although I suspect that her hemorrhoids are making her a little cranky. ____________________ Lineups: TWINS Brian Dozier 2B Robbie Grossman DH Byron Buxton CF Miguel Sano 1B Jorge Polanco SS Max Kepler RF Eduardo Escobar 3B Chris Gimenez C Eddie Rosario LF Phil Hughes, P WHITE SOX Tyler Saladino 2B Tim Anderson SS Melky Cabrera LF Jose Abreu 1B Todd Frazier 3B Cody Asche DH Avisail Garcia RF Geovany Soto C Leury Garcia CF Derek Holland, P Game-time forecast: 45 deg F, a few clouds here and there, very low chance of rain, winds at 5mph from the east ... which means from across the lake ... brrrrrr. Click here to view the article

This is still your best