Riverbrian

Grossman Contact PLEASE!!!

Is it possible that while Garcia was with the Twins... He was scouting us and better at it than we are,

Ok... plus that Now we got a tight bow around the summation.

Yeah... That pretty much sums it up.

It's like the Twins were told to be aggressive against Garcia. And it's like the Twins also told Garcia that the Twins were going to be aggressive against him.

UGGGGH

OK The 1 time through the order grace period is over. Get to work right now Dozier.

I'll give the Twins "1 time through the order" grace. When Dozier hits... he better hit!!! Or else... I'll type something.

Inside Scouting report? What exactly did we learn? The guy averages 7 K's per 9 and he has 5 in two innings against us.

Yay Contact!!!

4 1B in all that time is pretty impressive.

Well now we gotta make contact for sure. 0-0 after 9 innings is out of the question.

Where are you lounging? Room service, delivery or take out?

Ugh I hope we make contact eventually

Off to Yankee Stadium for a 3-game series starting tonight, which also begins a 10-game road trip. These two teams are currently in possession of the two wild card spots with just 13 games to go. You can hear the dramatic music in the background, however, I am going to do my best to downplay the importance of this series while trying to express the true importance of this series. How do you downplay it? You do it by saying forget about the Yankees. Currently the Twins are 4 games in back of the Yankees. We all want a sweep but only a sweep will be helpful in our pursuit of the Yankees and it still leaves our Twins 1 game back with 10 to play. If the Twins take 2 out of 3… the Twins will be 3 games back with 10 to play. So… simply winning the series will barely improve our situation with the Yankees and the buzzer is soon to go off. The Twins must sweep to bring the Yankees in range so lets forget about the Yankees... unless we sweep. So how do you express the true importance of this series? You do it by focusing on the Angels while playing the Yankees because the Angels are really the only ones left. The Mariners, Royals, Rangers, Orioles and Rays have fallen off the pace and are about two losses from goodbye. The Angels are the team to watch because they are currently 2 games back and will spend this week taking on the Indians and Astros. What the Twins need to do this week is this: Just have a bigger lead over the Angels at the end of the week. Forget about the Yankees... just increase that leadwhile the Angels are playing the Indians and Astros. Of course… sweeping the Yankees will help that. Thanks for reading my Pretzel Logic… "Those days are gone forever. Over a long time ago… oh, yeah." Here are some things to think about: 1. Neighborhoods – New York City is made up of collections of neighborhoods. You don’t simply get an apartment in New York, or even in Manhattan or Queens, you get a place in a specific neighborhood, like Flatbush or Hell’s Kitchen. I think this is a fantastic idea and since I live in Grand Forks, North Dakota, which isn’t laid out in distinct neighborhoods, I have the chance to plant my flag and name my own neighborhood Riverbrian. There are no parks or tourist attractions in Riverbrian, but I do have a Burger King, Pizza Hut, sports bar and laundromat. Hey… At some point in time, someone in Harlem named one of the neighborhoods Sugar Hill and eventually a rap group came out of there called the Sugar Hill Gang. Someday there may be a gang of Norwegian descendants called the Riverbrian Gang and this is how it all begins. Paul Simon says Rosie is the queen of Corona, let her be the queen of Riverbrian. Billy Joel walked Bedford Stuy Alone, that could be Riverbri alone. If you think this is a brilliant idea… "you may be right." Everyone should go claim the naming rights to your neighborhood right now. 2. Our Twins – Shame on all of you who left after the Blue Jays took a 5-0 lead in the 2nd inning. Thank you, Vikings, for making everybody come back. 3. The Yankees – In my opinion, the scariest part of the Yankees is the bullpen. Chapman, Betances, Robertson, Kahnle is a pretty fearsome group, so I strongly recommend never letting the Yankees get a lead… ever. In game 2 of the series we will get to see Jaime Garcia face us; we are paying Garcia 4 million dollars to pitch against us so we will see if this clever strategy works. 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation: Maddon: What do you guys think of armadillos? Mauer: I’ve never really thought about them. Montana: They are kinda like rocks with feet. Maddon: I’m thinking about bringing a bunch of them into the locker-room for the players to enjoy. McCarthy: Why would they enjoy them? Morgan: They could play catch with them. Maddon: If you choose well the players enjoy them. I brought in an elephant once. That didn’t work very well as it could barely squeeze through the Wrigley Field hallways and it got stuck a couple of times. Its trunk was smashing lightbulbs, and trophies, fire extinguishers were knocked off the wall. When we finally got it into the locker room… it took up all the space and the players got trapped inside their lockers. In hindsight it was a mistake to try and get it into that small room. Morgan: Wow… the Cubs organization must have been a little upset with you. Maddon: Thankfully they didn’t know… I asked everyone not to mention it. 5. Miss America – Miss North Dakota is the new Miss America. I didn’t watch but the other 184 North Dakotans were talking about it so I am aware. It’s been probably decades since I’ve watched the pageant but I remember thinking that presidential elections should be a similar format. All 50 states are represented, they get asked important questions like, “If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?" If the Presidential candidates also had to compete in talent and swimsuit, we would have all the information we currently use to make decisions and the whole thing can be condensed into a 3 hour show. ____________________ TWINS Brian Dozier 2B Joe Mauer 1B Byron Buxton CF Jorge Polanco SS Eddie Rosario RF Eduardo Escobar 3B Robbie Grossman DH Jason Castro C Ehire Adrianza LF Ervin Santana P YANKEES Brett Gardner LF Aaron Judge RF Gary Sanchez C Didi Gregorius SS Chase Headley DH Starlin Castro 2B Jacoby Ellsbury CF Todd Frazier 3B Greg Bird 1B Jaime Garcia P Weather: you'll have to look it up yourselves. These articles are difficult enough to edit from my phone. Click here to view the article

BUXTON UNBELIEVABLE

Gallatin... Not far from Nashville... Not far from Jell-O

Lebanon... Not Far from Nashville and Not Far from Israel

Pryor was supposed to be something but he never recovered from a boo boo and the Mariners felt they could part with him.

This our half inning right here. I can feel it

Post of the night

I know a guy whose parents must have been wearing a shirt of neck moles.