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LaBombo

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Everything posted by LaBombo

  1. LaBombo
    "... is what we need! Demon Speed! Greasy fast speed!" Well, after two big bowls of Lightning Bran this morning, it was just a matter of time before nature took its course.
  2. LaBombo
    An umpire with a generous strike zone is like a doctor with a charitable and optimistic standard of what 'wellness' is...
  3. LaBombo
    Yes, and if he has a good year, they may give the Twins a little extra leverage if his asking price is too high...
  4. LaBombo
    College campuses there are full of discontent and might be fertile ground for recruitment. When I drove through Lawrence in 1999, the students of U Kan. were protesting Prohibition.
  5. LaBombo
    Mine also. 'Tantor burns up on I-90' still makes me laugh out loud, for real. Saw Gary in the Seattle fish market in 1992. He was staring a giant prawn in the face, as if gauging its character during an interview for the job of being eaten.
  6. LaBombo
    Is it a violation of TD confidentiality policy to reveal that Circus Boy's first name is Doug?
  7. LaBombo
    Imagine time-traveling you approaching you on the street in September of 2013 and tellin you that with incumbent Rookie of the Year Miguel Sano and still mega-promising Byron Buxton in the lineup, the Twins' 2016 offense would be clinging to the bat of... Eduardo Escobar.
  8. LaBombo
    The beard is weird. The hair was perfect, at least before it turned to hat hair...
  9. LaBombo
    It's only three innings, but maybe if Nolasco goes six and gives up one or two while the Twins continue to get shut out, it will call further attention to the folly of the Twins' long-standing organizational stance that offense is a frivolous distraction in the pursuit of a lineup of eight defensive savants.
  10. LaBombo
    Cue the string quartet... http://www.astrosurf.com/luxorion/Sciences/titanic-sinking.jpg
  11. LaBombo
    Should make a nice bookend to December... A long December and there's reason to believe Maybe this year will be better than the last...
  12. LaBombo
    Yes, and full of monosodium glutamate, by the look of it.
  13. LaBombo
    Whoa whoa whoa, slow down, son. Next thing you know you'll be telling some crazy story about it wasn't just talent that got Toby Gardenhire a September callup.
  14. LaBombo
    But we were used to them sucking then. Also, no Sano or Buxton.
  15. LaBombo
    They did say they wanted more consistency from him at the plate...
  16. LaBombo
    Sano, after finding out that being the best hitter on one of the most offense-challenged teams in the AL isn't enough to keep you in the lineup...
  17. LaBombo
    Kubel's bro-in-law, so what can you do, other than wait for him to retire and take over as bullpen coach?
  18. LaBombo
    Thanks, I feel better now. Only 8.6% if the losses. The rain delays made the Baltimore games feel like 4 losses instead of 3, I guess.
  19. LaBombo
    If the Twins can protect their deficit tonight, and eke out another loss tomorrow with Ricky "No No" Nolasco going against Edinson "117 ERA+" Volquez, they'll have 7 losses to start the season. The Royals look to me like they have a pretty good shot to win 90+ games again. So if they Twins want to even think about winning the division, they had better plan on losing no more than 70 games. So in other words, the Twins have an excellent shot to bank almost 10 percent of the losses they can afford for the season in just one week. One week, out of 26, roughly 10 percent of the losses for 92 wins. http://images.tvfanatic.com/iu/s--JgmVc0Ce--/t_large_l/f_auto,fl_lossy,q_75/v1396822150/keeping-his-secret.jpg
  20. LaBombo
    There was also that time that Senator Jesse Helms wanted to ban Mapplethorpe bats, but I think that may have had something to do with the logo being obscene...
  21. LaBombo
    Sounds great. It would look terrific on a resume, and dovetail beautifully with the not-infrequent observation by others, dating all the way back to grade school, that I sometimes appear to be "in a world of my own". And I plead guilty with extenuating circumstances to the science fictiony-ness of that post. Blame the movie version of Moneyball, in which the late Phillip Seymour Hoffman as a perpetually grumpy Art Howe says of Scott Hatteberg: "I like him... but I can judge him. First base is the moon to him." Thanks to that quote, every time I've watched Sano in the outfield I've found myself wondering where his spacesuit is. PS I'm only accepting your nomination if you'll agree to be consigliere. Talking me out of bad ideas is sure to be a full-time job, an edict against Sano in the outfield being the first.
  22. LaBombo
    Thanks! I think. Therefore, I... am?
  23. LaBombo
    Isn't that ability called abstract thought? I was under the impression that not only is it potentially a fairly valuable skill, it's one of the handful of extraordinarily useful traits that makes us human beings as opposed to just large, hairless, appallingly un-cute lemurs. Take, for example, the mental image of an absolutely enormous young man hurtling at maximum velocity, and yet often at least somewhat blindly, across a portion of the baseball field which to him is more or less the surface of alien world, toward either an immovable wall-like object, or a highly movable, crushable, and incredibly valuable other young man. Not only is it awfully easy to imagine an undesirable outcome, it's potentially extraordinarily beneficial to have done so and then avoided having it actually happen. And what's more, the entire mental exercise can take place without any knowledge of (let alone concern for) who Trevor Plouffe is.
  24. LaBombo
    He's an enormous man learning a very different position, one at which it's routine to run at maximum speed, and three quarters of the time toward either a wall, another wall, or the 100-pounds-lighter other half of the future of the Twins franchise's offense. Yes, Sano could still get hurt playing third, or DHing for that matter, in much the same way that you can still be injured in a car accident while wearing a seat belt. Don't know about you, but I still wear mine despite its imperfect nature. At any rate, the decision to move Sano to the outfield was an absurdly foolish one of the sort that teams make either when they dread change, when they enforce an arbitrary floor for defensive ability at a given position regardless of offense, or in the Sano vs. Plouffe situation, both.
  25. LaBombo
    We'll lock up on the way out and leave the key in the planter.
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