For 22nd Year In A Row, Most Handsome Twins Blogger Title Goes Unclaimed

As Rocco Baldelli celebrated the tongue-in-cheek honor of being named MLB’s Most Handsome Manager this week, another title went unclaimed locally, as the Minnesota Twins Diamond Awards failed to name a Most Handsome Twins Blogger for a 22^nd consecutive year.

“No one even submitted a name,” said a Diamond Awards spokesperson. “OK, correction, someone nominated The Babadook, but it does not appear to have written about the Twins in 2020 and was therefore ineligible.”

Bloggers, often unfairly criticized by their mainstream counterparts at the dawn of the internet era for being basement-dwelling ogres, still have a long way to go, it seems.

“I thought as more bloggers gained acceptance and got traditional media gigs or even front-office jobs, the stigma would go away,” said longtime Twins blogger Aaron Gleeman. “But I went to Target Field last year, and a beat writer yelled ‘Nice shirt, didn’t know the clown college had a rummage sale.’ A beat writer!”

Gleeman, now with The Athletic, confirmed that he has a girlfriend and does not have a basement.

John Bonnes, Gleeman’s co-host on a popular lifestyle podcast and founder of Twins Daily, isn’t quite sold on this narrative.

“If we’re all trolls who frighten children before their growth spurts and are bullied by them after, explain the rugged sensuality of (Twins Daily’s) Parker Hageman,” reasoned Bonnes. “Explain the fact that (Twins Daily’s) Nick Nelson has a gym membership that he actually uses. Do bloggers still get pelted with rocks and garbage by an ungrateful, disgusted public? Does the cruel sun avoid us, leaving us pale and drawn? Yes, no one denies this. I’m just saying it’s better than before.”

If the not-exactly-hunky world of managing can have room for a Baldelli, is that a sign that the world of baseball blogging can produce a reasonably good-looking dude? Some aren’t so sure.

“Oh god no,” said Steve “RandBall’s Stu” Neuman (Twins Daily, Twinkie Town). “We’re monsters. If we try to enter a church a lightning bolt will strike us where we stand. The grave will be unmarked and the grass will not grow. Animals will know to avoid it. We’re hideous.”

(Image license here.)