Riverbrian

And I claim full credit for that. I told somebody back in the 20's to make extra hot dogs because... well you never know.

And on game threads we allow the claiming of credit for basically anything.

No I just walked up to him holding a hairbrush and started asking him questions while I pushed the hairbrush closer so he could talk into it. I thought my career doing that was over.

MAUER

I LOVE BARK ART!!!

BUXTON

It's was actually kind of painful. He was speaking somewhere in Cheyenne Wyoming. I was like 21 or 22 Years old and he was the first famous person that I had ever interviewed. The guy was a complete prick and he would rip apart my questions instead of answering them. I had to stammer my way through. Completely afraid that my next question would be worst than the last one. And it was... according to him anyway. So I went to commercial break... pointed at the door and said... you can leave now. Went home that night and I thought my career was over. Went to work the next day and nobody ever spoke about it. Like it didn't happen and I remember thinking... I guess I'll be alright.

(True Story) I once threw John Houseman out of my studio (True Story)

Receding Hair's?

Henry is a name that needs to be brought back to popularity. Noah is all the rage now. It's a fine name in times of a flood... but for everything else... You need a guy named Henry. He'll get it done.

Pablo Sandoval on the side watching it all while holding a Cat.

Ok... Something that demands respect... like... umm... Spelling.

John Hicks was sent down to make room for Miggy. He was only hitting .423 People named Hicks get no respect. Aaron should change his name to something that demands respect... Like Judge.

Add a Snowman with Sano's head on top... Which will make it a SANOMAN.

I imagined the camera guy laying flat on the ground trying to follow the flight of the ball.

I was just thinking that Sonny Gray was looking pretty good out there. Nope Sano is looking real good out there.

I got that part... I was trying to figure how the Panda's tied in with a snowmobile but I think I understand that now. You saw the Arctic Cat as dangerous and predatory. You were just looking out for me and I appreciate that my friend. We need some Bark Art... Let's start with a Panda Bear on a snowmobile.

I didn't understand this but I'm all for Giant Panda bears as body guards so you get a like.

Make it play 1B for the Minnesota Twins?

Game Threads need a crawl. I wonder if Brock could pull that off.

I just hope the guys got out OK.

Plenty of season left to turn things around and hit 22.

MAYBE is the key word

The only time I wore a suit and tie was during snow-Catting. I wore my Sno-Suit to church. I never really questioned it until now.

The Oakland A’s come to town as our Twins kick off a brand new month of baseball. April would have to be considered a success since they won more than they lost. What will May have in store for us? We will have to wait and see but if it’s another winning month… I think it’s safe to say that the Twins will be in striking distance, while setting up an even more important month of June. June will be bigger than April and May in that scenario because June will determine what they do in July and once you reach July in contention… changes will be in store to set up the finish and then you got meaningful baseball in September. It’s like the Presidential Primary. April is Iowa and New Hampshire… if you have a strong showing in those states or at least don’t embarrass yourself… you have a chance in South Carolina and that is like May. A decent showing in May sets you up for Super Tuesday (June) and if you come out of Super Tuesday in position… all Hell breaks loose. The Baseball teams in position to win will start picking off players from the teams that have dropped out just like the politicians gather support and supporters from the politicians who dropped out. Uff Da… I just realized that I have fairly accurately compared the game of baseball (that I love) to U.S. politics (that I hate). What else can I ruin? Shall I compare ice cream to Norm Green? Here are some things to think about: 1. Thief River Falls – Typically thought #1 has been about the city where the game is played. I can’t write about Minneapolis every single time we are home so I’ve decided to think about random towns around Twins Territory for each home series opener. I’m starting with Thief River Falls because it was where I was raised and created. We locals call it T.R.F. and growing up there was nice enough, although I’ve always found it odd that I grew up in the only place that was an hour from any decent lake in the land of 10,000 damn lakes. T.R.F. is the home of Arctic Cat snowmobiles and like Thief River Falls… snowmobile was too long for us so we shortened it and called them Sno-Cats. Most of the fathers of my friends worked at Arctic Cat and with the employee discount, they all had the brand new models. My Dad did not work at Arctic Cat and he didn’t like spending money… so… in order for me to go out with my friends in 20 below weather… he bought a used Polaris. Basically… I had to be full throttle just to keep up with my friends at half throttle on those shiny new El Tigre’s. It was too much speed for too little machine and when you are constantly full throttle it was only a matter of time before I’d roll it on a turn. The fiberglass hood was full of holes and there was duct tape trying to hold it together, but I went out and rolled that thing, faithfully, every time. I got pretty good at rolling it… one time I was able to roll it and stay on it and then keep going like nothing happened, once it stopped rolling landing in an upright position. Dad was never happy with each new damage to this stupid Polaris. When I came home with a cracked helmet from one of my rolls… the danger I was in… kind of sunk in. The very next day… for my safety… he had traded it off. After everything I put it through… a cord of wood was all he got in return. As I watched that wood burn in the fireplace… it was like watching my snowmobile career go down in flames. 2. Our Twins – Mr. "Player of the Week" Sano has been carrying this team lately and it has been fun to watch. He is so locked in right now… I’m not sure why anybody would want to pitch to him. Buxton continues to show a newfound plate discipline and I couldn’t be happier with that. He doesn’t need to hit the ball like Sano does because they are different players, but… if Buxton keeps reaching base like he is right now… he has the potential to be just as dangerous with those incredible fast moving legs of his. Sano and Buxton are our future and they look almost perfect right now. This is what we’ve been waiting for… just like a teenager waiting to get that driver’s license. It could be fun for a while until that inevitable fender bender that is right around the corner. 3. The A’s – Trevor Plouffe is back in town… you've got to admire his consistency… he’s playing for Oakland much like he played for us, however, it costs us less money having him play for the them. Sonny Gray has been taken off the disabled list, given a uniform and placed on the mound to face our Twins tonight. Which Sonny Gray will show up - the 2016 Sonny Gray or the 2015 Sonny Gray? If it turns out to be a different 2017 Sonny Gray… we will be one number closer to 50 shades of him. 4. Today’s Joe M Conversation Mauer: Everyone… meet Joe Mantegna… he’d like to join our group. McCarthy: We already got one of those. Maddon: It’s pronounced… Mon-tain-ya Montana: Yeah… he’s not me. Mantagna: Are you sure? Montana: Pretty sure McCarthy: I vote Nay Montana: Yeah… Nay… the names are too close. Mauer: He’s not from the Midwest… Nay Maddon: Sorry, Joe Mantagna: I say to all of you that I have been treated this day with no respect. (As he leaves… a helicopter comes into view) Mauer: He said that exact same thing in Godfather III… Oh Oh… helicopter!!! Everybody run!!! McCarthy: My coat… my lucky coat. It’s stuck on this coat rack. I can’t get it off. Maddon: Lift… and then pull. Quit pulling down… stop and think for a second… how does a coat rack work? Montana: It’s only a coat… there’s going to be a hail of gunfire. Let go of the coat!!! McCarthy: It’s my lucky coat. Mauer: Don’t worry about him... he’ll be Ok… let’s go. Montana: What do you mean by ok? He’s a sitting duck. Maddon: He’s already dead… Since the 50’s. 5. Huts - They used to be important to keep Gilligan and the rest protected from the elements. Nowadays… huts have just become a complete waste of space. I see absolutely no reason why you can’t sell Pizza and Sunglasses in the same hut. ____________________ Lineups: ATHLETICS Rajai Davis CF Matt Joyce RF Jed Lowrie 2B Khris Davis LF Yonder Alonso 1B Ryon Healy DH Stephen Vogt C Trevor Plouffe 3B Adam Rosales SS Sonny Gray P TWINS Brian Dozier 2B Max Kepler RF Miguel Sano 3B Joe Mauer 1B Robbie Grossman DH Jason Castro C Jorge Polanco SS Eddie Rosario LF Byron Buxton CF Ervin Santana P Weather: 59 deg F, partly cloudy, no rain, little wind. Play ball! Click here to view the article