Riverbrian

You are obviously some sort of incubator?

A husband asks his wife, “Honey, if I died, would you remarry?” “After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship.” “If I died and you remarried,” the husband asks, “would he live in this house?” “We’ve spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I’m not going to get rid of my house. I guess he would.” “If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house,” the husband asks, “would he sleep in our bed?” “Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2000. It’s going to last a long time, so I guess he would.” “If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house and slept in our bed, would he use my golf clubs?” “Oh, no!” the wife replies. “He’s left-handed!”

I don't have a punch line to that knock knock joke... I just like typing Blind Tom of the Wild Left Handed Monkeys Boys. I was trying to figure out how to type it... in some sort of context.

Blind Tom of the Wild Left Handed Monkeys Boys

KNOCK KNOCK

This has been another Circus Boy Update

This has been a Circus Boy Update

Actually how Danchat got through high school

Good Inning 4 qualifies as a crooked number

ChiTown and you are working off the same prep sheet.

And Suddenly Hittable

Chris Sale 6 foot 6 Inches 104 Pounds and Left Handed!!!

I'm a big fan of aggressive base running. It looks like I'm going to end up a Rosario Fan.

How did Rosario take third on that single.

I don't think so http://www.upperleftedge.com/wp-content/comment-image/416.jpg

Oh... I thought those were typos. Well I have no idea who she was talking about then.

No... I'm sorry... It was just random bad luck

Just watched a video on it... Looks perfect for me... Sports while sitting down.

Shh ChiTown wanted to keep that under wraps.

Makes perfect sense to me http://www.handresearch.com/news/2012/left-handed-us-presidents.jpg

Don't Taunt Happy Fun Ball

Yeah... But what if they go 24-9?

I bet Bark can cobble together a photo.

The Twins vs. the White Sox It's not just an important game for the Twins. It's important for the White Sox as well. We can all talk about playoff contention for the Twins because it's so obvious just being 1 game back. However... it's not like the White Sox are out of it. The Twins would be silly to focus all that attention on the Rangers and it would be silly to focus on any of the other teams in striking distance. Too many to keep track and too many possibilities. All the Twins can do is focus on themselves. Win games and keep winning games. Here are some things to Think About: 1. September -- Well... that's it... August is over and things start changing now. Football has started, the kids are back in school, and they are placing ice houses on Lake of the Woods. As a sure sign of the changing seasons... I was struck in the head yesterday by a falling leaf. When you consider the height of the tree, the laws of gravity and the thickness of my skull... my doctor says I was lucky to survive it. The word September is derived from the Latin word "Septem" which means seven. There was a time when we used a 10 month calendar and during that time September was the 7th month but with only 10 months they found that people were aging too quickly so a couple of months were added on and this has resulted in longer life spans. The "ber" in September, October, November and December is also Latin and it means "Brr... I'm freezing my nuts off." "Uary" in JanUARY and FebrUARY means "Move to Florida and Arizona." This September... means something. The Twins are firmly in the playoff race. 2. Room to Breathe -- Breathing room is gonna be hard to come by. Currently the Rangers have the last playoff spot but the Twins are just 1 game behind. The Rays and Angels are 2.5 games behind the Twins. If you look at it closely... every team is just one big winning streak from getting into serious contention. If you think about the phrase "Room to Breathe"... I think every house should have a room to breathe... actually, all rooms need to be rooms to breathe. If you have a room that isn't equipped this way, I'd never enter... If you need to retrieve something from it, ask your neighbor to get it... the neighbor that mows his lawn at 6AM. 3. The White Sox -- There was considerable optimism on the South Side this year because of the additions of Samardzjia, LaRoche, Melky and Robertson. That optimism has waned and turned into a long look at the pocketbook and asking questions like... why did we spend all that money on Adam LaRoche? We all do the same thing when we spend 100 dollars to get into a water park just to wait in line all day. I guess it just seemed like a good idea at the time. 4. Lefties -- The White Sox in a stunning lack of creativity will start nothing but left-handers against the Twins. Sale tonight... Rodon tomorrow night... Danks on Thursday. Scientists are not sure why people become left-handed. There is no specific left-handed gene... it just kind of happens to people. Much like there is no cock-eyed gene... it just kind of happens to people. Also... like there is no gene that will keep you from getting hit by a safe falling from the 20th floor above... it just kind of happens. 5. More Left Hand -- Around 10 years ago... I invented a left-handed hammer and I was sure that I was going to get rich. Turns out there were no left-handed nails and the venture failed miserably. -------------------- Game-time forecast: 86 deg F, mostly cloudy, 1% chance of precipitation, winds from the SSW at 6mph. Lineups: WHITE SOX 1. Adam Eaton CF 2. Tyler Saladino 3B 3. Jose Abreu DH 4. Melky Cabrera LF 5. Avisail Garcia RF 6. Adam LaRoche 1B 7. Alexei Ramirez SS 8. Carlos Sanchez 2B 9. Tyler Flowers C Sale P TWINS 1. Brian Dozier 2B 2. Joe Mauer 1B 3. Trevor Plouffe 3B 4. Miguel Sano DH 5. Torii Hunter RF 6. Eddie Rosario LF 7. Eduardo Escobar SS 8. Kurt Suzuki C 9. Byron Buxton CF Duffey P Go Twins! Play ball! Click here to view the article