I’m Pretty Sure They’re Making the GM Meetings Up

I’ve been a baseball fan for many, many years. I’ve lived with the fact of the Winter Meetings being the place where all the wheeling and dealing and rule changes and billionaire owners whining about millionaire players happens my whole life. They are a constant, an off-season marker that reminds me that the upcoming calendar is holidays, Super Bowl, Spring Training, and someone being in the best shape of his life. 

So, the fact that there are allegedly GM Meetings that take place prior to the Winter Meetings caught me wrong-footed. I’m a baseball fan. I pay attention to things. I remember things: The day after Dave Kingman hit a ball out of the Metrodome, someone dropped a ball from the roof for then-Twin Mickey Hatcher to catch as a pre-game goof, Hatcher lost it in the roof and it almost hit him in the head. You are not dealing with some casual rube. I’m a genuine dork and I have the sad Twins trivia to prove it.

A simple internet search confirms that GM Meetings have (allegedly) taken place before and are (allegedly) being held this week in Las Vegas. Twins Daily founder John Bonnes, local food & relationships blogger Aaron Gleeman, and their two life partners are allegedly in the desert covering them. 

But here’s the thing: I don’t think they’re real. I think we’re being scammed.

It’s important to know that I have no proof of this, have done less-than-minimal research on the matter, and am going purely on vibes. I simply haven’t done the reading, and I have no intention of trying. If the last decade of American life has taught me anything, I should not shut up until I learn more, but I should instead broadcast my deep and profound ignorance for all to see.

How did I follow baseball for decades and never hear about the GM meetings? Is it because they’re usually low-key and not much happens that is considered newsworthy, especially compared to the Winter Meetings? Or is it because we’re being lied to? I know what I believe.

I’m not saying that the Boni and Aaron and Becky aren’t in Las Vegas. I know they are, because they left their friend Jason behind and he keeps texting me because he’s lonely and he wants to go to Smorgie’s with someone. I’m just saying that they’re in on the scam. I don’t begrudge them for taking a comped vacation, and indeed I’d prefer to be in on the grift, all things considered.

But here we are. Fake meetings, covered by real people, and everyone is just agreeing to play along. 

Well, not me. Not today. The GM Meetings aren’t real. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Image license here.