Jeremy Zoll Sets Up End of Season Garage Sale

The Minnesota Twins may not have much left to play for in 2026, but that doesn't mean everyone at Target Field is sitting around doing nothing. With the playoff picture fading to black, general manager Jeremy Zoll has reportedly turned his attention toward a different kind of roster management. If the Twins can't turn their remaining players into prospects, perhaps they can turn them into a little extra cash. Enter the Jeremy Zoll End-of-Season Garage Sale.

"At some point, you have to look at every available resource," Zoll said, standing next to a folding table covered with used baseballs, Twins promotional giveaways and several unopened boxes of Byron Buxton bobbleheads. "We have some talented players here. We just want to find ways to maximize their value."

That, apparently, includes allowing them to take on odd jobs around the Twin Cities.

Need Your Lawn Mowed? Ryan Jeffers Is Available

Do you have a lawn that's gotten a little out of control this summer? Good news. Ryan Jeffers is available. For a small, reasonable fee, the Twins catcher will reportedly come to your house and mow your lawn for the remainder of the season. He'll even empty the grass catcher, although ironically, there is an additional charge if you want him to rake.

"We've had a lot of interest in Jeffers," Zoll said. "He's athletic, he's got good hands, and he's already accustomed to working outside for three hours at a time."

Jeffers seemed less enthusiastic about the arrangement.

"I thought I was going to be catching baseballs," Jeffers said. "Now Jeremy handed me a push mower and told me my first appointment is in Edina."

There is one catch: Jeffers will not be responsible for trimming hedges.

"I've got a bad feeling about that," he said.

Josh Bell: Your New School Bus Driver

Josh Bell was another player who remained with the Twins past the trade deadline, and the organization has found an intriguing secondary use for the veteran first baseman. Need someone to drop your kids off at school? Bell is available. For an additional fee, Bell can also pick them up, help with homework and provide a brief lecture on the importance of hitting the baseball to the opposite field.

"I'm just trying to contribute," Bell said. "If that means getting some kids to school on time, I'm willing to do it."

Zoll believes Bell's size could be an advantage.

"He's very noticeable," Zoll said. "You don't have to worry about losing him in a school pickup line."

Bell did have one request.

"I don't want to drive a minivan," he said. "If somebody has an SUV, we'll talk."

Joe Ryan: Your New Home Inspector

Joe Ryan might be working his way back from a glute injury, but that doesn't mean he can't contribute around the community. The Twins are now offering Ryan's services as a home inspector for the remainder of the season. Need somebody to check whether that crack in your basement wall is a serious structural issue or just something you've been ignoring for three years? Ryan is your guy.

"I've spent a lot of time studying hitters," Ryan said. "I figure studying houses can't be that different."

Zoll believes Ryan is particularly qualified because of his attention to detail.

"Joe notices things other people don't," Zoll said. "That's an important quality in a home inspector. Plus, he's already used to pointing out flaws."

Ryan has reportedly developed a comprehensive inspection process. He'll check the roof, inspect the foundation, test the plumbing and spend approximately 20 minutes staring at the electrical panel before saying, "Yeah, I don't love that."

There is, however, one major limitation.

"I don't do crawl spaces," Ryan said. "I've got a glute injury. I'm not crawling under anybody's house."

Zoll said the Twins are willing to negotiate.

"That's something we'll work around," Zoll said. "We're just trying to find ways to keep Joe productive until he's ready to pitch."

Other Players Also Available

The garage sale doesn't stop there. Twins fans can reportedly rent several other players for the remainder of the season. Need help moving a couch? Rookies Kaelen Culpepper and Walker Jenkins are available. Need someone to assemble a swing set? Bailey Ober is available. Need someone to stand in your driveway and tell you that the garbage truck is coming even though it clearly isn't? Royce Lewis is available.

Zoll insisted the program isn't about desperation.

"This is about creativity," he said. "We're always looking for ways to add value."

When asked whether the Twins would consider renting players out for birthday parties, Zoll paused.

"We're exploring all options."

Saving for 2027

Ultimately, that's what this bizarre garage sale is all about. The Twins have already fallen out of contention, and the front office knows there are plenty of questions to answer before the 2027 season. Payroll will be one of them.

So, why not find a few extra dollars wherever possible? The Twins may not be selling playoff tickets this September, but apparently they're selling lawn care, transportation and moving services.

Just remember to tip your players. They're trying to save up for next year's payroll, too.

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