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  1. We already have Killebrew Drive, Carew Drive, and Puckett Place. But why stop there? We need to think outside the box when naming our state’s roads. We need Junior Ortiz Boulevard.One of the highest honors local sports heroes can garner is getting a block or two stretch of a city street named after them. We have a lot of roads in this state that could use some Hall of Fame or World Series luster. Think of how much better that back-up at the Lowry Tunnel would be if you were waiting for traffic to clear on the Gary Gaetti Travel Hole? The problem, as you might have noticed, is that there are but a handful of Twins in Cooperstown and a mere two titles. We’re going to have to get creative. And we’re going to have to get a Junior Ortiz Boulevard. Some might ask, why Junior? Younger people might ask who that even is. That utter failure in parenting aside, the backup catcher from the 1991 World Champs is deserving. Keith Atherton is deserving. Scott Erickson is deserving. Mike Pagliarulo? You guessed it: Deserving. Since no one denies that this is the correct course of action, what’s left to determine is where to put Junior Ortiz Boulevard. I don’t think it should go to the Twin Cities: Minneapolis already has a couple baseball streets, and St. Paul doesn’t have so much as a parking lot named after Dave Winfield, Joe Mauer, or Paul Molitor, so they get nothing until they get their poop in a group. The greater metro can get bent out of shape when someone else in the cul-de-sac installs a front door that’s the wrong color, so they’re probably out. We must go into greater Minnesota. This is where the obvious answer lies: New Ulm. It’s a picturesque town in the Minnesota River Valley with a rich baseball tradition. More importantly, it’s the SECOND ULM. Ulm Senior is in Germany, making this one…junior. I propose that New Ulm find a street, preferably the main drag, the one by the old Hardee’s, or the road by my friend Dave’s brewery, and correctly rename it Junior Ortiz Boulevard. The best way to do this is through citizen involvement, so I urge all reading this to reach out and make your voice heard. New Ulm Chamber of Commerce: chamber@newulm.com New Ulm Convention & Visitors Bureau: info@newulm.com Mayor Robert J. Beussmann and the New Ulm City Council, now is the time to lead. When you’re cutting the ribbon on Junior Ortiz Boulevard this summer, voters will remember that where others feared to tread, you were bold, nimble, and decisive. Do the right thing. For Junior Ortiz. For democracy itself. Image license here. Click here to view the article
  2. One of the highest honors local sports heroes can garner is getting a block or two stretch of a city street named after them. We have a lot of roads in this state that could use some Hall of Fame or World Series luster. Think of how much better that back-up at the Lowry Tunnel would be if you were waiting for traffic to clear on the Gary Gaetti Travel Hole? The problem, as you might have noticed, is that there are but a handful of Twins in Cooperstown and a mere two titles. We’re going to have to get creative. And we’re going to have to get a Junior Ortiz Boulevard. Some might ask, why Junior? Younger people might ask who that even is. That utter failure in parenting aside, the backup catcher from the 1991 World Champs is deserving. Keith Atherton is deserving. Scott Erickson is deserving. Mike Pagliarulo? You guessed it: Deserving. Since no one denies that this is the correct course of action, what’s left to determine is where to put Junior Ortiz Boulevard. I don’t think it should go to the Twin Cities: Minneapolis already has a couple baseball streets, and St. Paul doesn’t have so much as a parking lot named after Dave Winfield, Joe Mauer, or Paul Molitor, so they get nothing until they get their poop in a group. The greater metro can get bent out of shape when someone else in the cul-de-sac installs a front door that’s the wrong color, so they’re probably out. We must go into greater Minnesota. This is where the obvious answer lies: New Ulm. It’s a picturesque town in the Minnesota River Valley with a rich baseball tradition. More importantly, it’s the SECOND ULM. Ulm Senior is in Germany, making this one…junior. I propose that New Ulm find a street, preferably the main drag, the one by the old Hardee’s, or the road by my friend Dave’s brewery, and correctly rename it Junior Ortiz Boulevard. The best way to do this is through citizen involvement, so I urge all reading this to reach out and make your voice heard. New Ulm Chamber of Commerce: chamber@newulm.com New Ulm Convention & Visitors Bureau: info@newulm.com Mayor Robert J. Beussmann and the New Ulm City Council, now is the time to lead. When you’re cutting the ribbon on Junior Ortiz Boulevard this summer, voters will remember that where others feared to tread, you were bold, nimble, and decisive. Do the right thing. For Junior Ortiz. For democracy itself. Image license here.
  3. The Minnesota Twins have tinkered with Byron Buxton's swing for his entire tenure with the team. We've compiled all of them for reference.2015 Eliminate Leg Kick Modify Leg Kick, Move Back in Batter Box Full Leg Kick, Choke Up On Bat Eliminate Leg Kick, Become Switch Hitter Kick Both Legs, First Left Then Right Kick Both Legs, First Right Then Left 2016 A Big Rockette-style Kick While Yelling “WOOOOOOO” like Ric “Nature Boy” Flair Eliminate Leg Kick, Hold Bat by the Barrel Copy What Mike Hargrove Used to Do in the Seventies and Eighties and Straight-Up Bore Pitchers Into Walking You Modify Leg Kick, Wear Rollerblades, Rulebook Unclear on Legality/Exploit Potential Market Inefficiency Full Leg Kick, Do One Marine-style Push Up Between Pitches 2017 Eliminate Leg Kick, Get So Far Back in the Box That You’re Technically Behind the Umpire Modify Leg Kick, Take First Pitch No Matter What, Call Time, Do Cannonball Into Child’s Wading Pool That Has Been Placed in On-Deck Circle by Former Twins Great Junior Ortiz, Return Soaking Wet to Batter’s Box Forgot to Write Down What Worked in Summer/Fall 2017 and All the Game Tapes Are in a Storage Unit in Mahnomen But No One Has the Keycode to Open It and the Owner Disappeared in a Boating Accident That Authorities Describe As “Unsettling with Possible Occult Links” 2018 Full Leg Kick, Keep Hands Back, Tickle Catcher Modify Leg Kick, Throw Bat At Pitcher, Run to First While Benches Clear Eliminate Leg Kick, Bring Glove Instead of Bat Into Box, Catch First Pitch, Declare “I Am The Baseball King and You Will Recognize Me As Such,” Award Yourself First Base While Eating a Comically Large Leg of Lamb and Wearing Gilt-Edged Royal Finery Modify Leg Kick, Start a Small Business, Incorporate in Delaware to Dodge Corporate Income Taxes, Become Independently Wealthy, Start Competing Winter Baseball League in Sun Belt States, Take a Bath When It Flames Out, Lose Rest of Fortune in Series of Bad Investments, Declare Bankruptcy, Appear on VH1 Reality Show Called Dormitory Island Or Something Dumb Like That, Fight for Starting Centerfield Job Next Spring 2019 Just Do Whatever Until It Stops Working. Click here to view the article
  4. 2015 Eliminate Leg Kick Modify Leg Kick, Move Back in Batter Box Full Leg Kick, Choke Up On Bat Eliminate Leg Kick, Become Switch Hitter Kick Both Legs, First Left Then Right Kick Both Legs, First Right Then Left 2016 A Big Rockette-style Kick While Yelling “WOOOOOOO” like Ric “Nature Boy” Flair Eliminate Leg Kick, Hold Bat by the Barrel Copy What Mike Hargrove Used to Do in the Seventies and Eighties and Straight-Up Bore Pitchers Into Walking You Modify Leg Kick, Wear Rollerblades, Rulebook Unclear on Legality/Exploit Potential Market Inefficiency Full Leg Kick, Do One Marine-style Push Up Between Pitches 2017 Eliminate Leg Kick, Get So Far Back in the Box That You’re Technically Behind the Umpire Modify Leg Kick, Take First Pitch No Matter What, Call Time, Do Cannonball Into Child’s Wading Pool That Has Been Placed in On-Deck Circle by Former Twins Great Junior Ortiz, Return Soaking Wet to Batter’s Box Forgot to Write Down What Worked in Summer/Fall 2017 and All the Game Tapes Are in a Storage Unit in Mahnomen But No One Has the Keycode to Open It and the Owner Disappeared in a Boating Accident That Authorities Describe As “Unsettling with Possible Occult Links” 2018 Full Leg Kick, Keep Hands Back, Tickle Catcher Modify Leg Kick, Throw Bat At Pitcher, Run to First While Benches Clear Eliminate Leg Kick, Bring Glove Instead of Bat Into Box, Catch First Pitch, Declare “I Am The Baseball King and You Will Recognize Me As Such,” Award Yourself First Base While Eating a Comically Large Leg of Lamb and Wearing Gilt-Edged Royal Finery Modify Leg Kick, Start a Small Business, Incorporate in Delaware to Dodge Corporate Income Taxes, Become Independently Wealthy, Start Competing Winter Baseball League in Sun Belt States, Take a Bath When It Flames Out, Lose Rest of Fortune in Series of Bad Investments, Declare Bankruptcy, Appear on VH1 Reality Show Called Dormitory Island Or Something Dumb Like That, Fight for Starting Centerfield Job Next Spring 2019 Just Do Whatever Until It Stops Working.
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