The_Phantom

Hm, I have actually been contemplating taking my kids up to see one of the games in Philly this weekend

Hm, I have actually been contemplating taking my kids up to see one of the games in Philly this weekend

I know everyone has been saying it, but it's time to stop pretending like Buxton batting third at DH is the solution. He's just swinging hard and praying for a miracle. 
 
He's 15 for his last 112 with only 12 walks. And that includes a stretch where he went 5 for 9 with 3 homers and a double. When he doesn't go on an accidental hot streak, he's an absolute disaster. Hell, he's been a disaster with that mini hot streak included.

... that it's not appropriate or very funny when the opinions you're satirizing are blatantly correct? FTFY
 
I fully understand it's supposed to be satire. But it's satirizing the wrong side. 
 
EDIT - Maybe I've been on Twins Reddit too much, but most of Twins nation will die on the hill that Twins can do-no-wrong. IMO that's what is satire worthy, not being able to actually acknowledge that they flubbed the trade...

I admit, I was on the fence about this trade, leaning toward a good one for the Twins.
Now though, I love it. Lopez has been so much better than expected. I thought the Twins were getting a #3, but they might have gotten an ace...a true ACE. 

The Luis Arraez/Pablo Lopez comparison is a case of Arraez pitching into some great luck while Lopez has been unlucky to this point.
Luis Arraez is a career .328 hitter with a career .299 xBA (a difference of .029 points). However, this year, his batting average is .055 points higher than his xBA (.388 to .333). The last time I checked, Zips projected that he'll end the year with a ~.360 batting average. I think that there is a lot of negative regression to the mean that will happen, and Arraez does not walk nearly enough to continue batting close to .400 (Rod Carew walked 10% of the time in 1977 and Ted Williams walked 21.6% of the time in 1942. Luis Arraez "only" has a 7% walk rate). 
Conversely, Pablo Lopez has hit into some poor luck. From 2020-2022, he's posted a 3.52 ERA and 3.58 xERA over 340.0 IP (with him posting equivalent 3.75 figures in 2022). This year, his 3.03 xERA is paired with a much higher 3.89 figure in the first half. Hitters are slashing .220/.281/.358 against him (a heck of a lot worse than Gallo and Kepler, two guys who half of y'all want to DFA), and he's probably going to strikeout 250 batters if he stays healthy.
They both have equivalent trade values (per BTV), and I am very excited to see Lopez, Ryan, and Ober form a three-headed monster at the top of the rotation for the next 4+ years.

See, the thing about satire is

How bad does Buxton have to be before he's, if not out of the lineup, at least not hitting 3rd?
I thought this management team was supposed to be analytical.

no more Buxton, please

You forgot to mention: 

Twins rank:
24th in average
23rd in OBP
30th in strikeouts (on pace to obliterate the MLB record)
21st in runs scored
20th in OPS
 
And they don't have ONE SINGLE OFFENSIVE PLAYER in the top 100 position player WAR in the league. 
 
But sure, let's make a "funny" article about how Twins didn't lose the Arraez trade in every single facet, because hey Pablo threw a complete game this week! 

Plus, why would anyone trade for him?

You forgot to mention: 

Twins rank:
24th in average
23rd in OBP
30th in strikeouts (on pace to obliterate the MLB record)
21st in runs scored
20th in OPS
 
And they don't have ONE SINGLE OFFENSIVE PLAYER in the top 100 position player WAR in the league. 
 
But sure, let's make a "funny" article about how Twins didn't lose the Arraez trade in every single facet, because hey Pablo threw a complete game this week! 

Luis Arraez ranks among all NL players:
#1 BA
#1 OBA
#1 AB per Strikeout
#3 OPS+
#4 Adjusted Batting Wins
#5 Offensive Win %
#6 WAR
#7 OPS
#7 Runs Created
 
 
 

Can't seem to justify wasting three hours watching/listening to this outfit. Took a hit in interest when they traded Arraez. Totally stopped paying attention in early June. Signed in to TD maybe three times in the last month, for minor league news. Really don't care to watch a daily "professional" debacle. I'll come back when Pohlad cleans house from the FO down to the the lowest grounds guy... well, maybe not him. For sure the Run Scoring Coordinator.

In my friend group chat I was calling over and over for the twins to sign Kiermaier because the writing was on the wall they needed a top shelf defensive center fielder. instead of opening up the wallet they traded a high prospect reliever for a far lesser hitter in MAT. this front office makes blunder after blunder 

It’s amazing how many people slaughtered me (especially on Reddit) for saying it’s crazy to trade Urshela for peanuts with the justification that Miranda is ready to go. You can never assume a second year is going to replicate a decent first year, and his defense was always bad 

It’s amazing how many people slaughtered me (especially on Reddit) for saying it’s crazy to trade Urshela for peanuts with the justification that Miranda is ready to go. You can never assume a second year is going to replicate a decent first year, and his defense was always bad 

It’s amazing how many people slaughtered me (especially on Reddit) for saying it’s crazy to trade Urshela for peanuts with the justification that Miranda is ready to go. You can never assume a second year is going to replicate a decent first year, and his defense was always bad 

It’s amazing how many people slaughtered me (especially on Reddit) for saying it’s crazy to trade Urshela for peanuts with the justification that Miranda is ready to go. You can never assume a second year is going to replicate a decent first year, and his defense was always bad 

Fans do not care how many innings a starter goes.  Fans care about wins.  If the Twins thought they could win with 9 pitchers throwing 1 inning every game, they would do that.  People forget that SP going 4 innings last year had the Twins in first place in September.
Poor Sonny Gray needs to realize that him pitching the 3rd time through the lineup is a nuclear disaster to the tune of a plus 10 ERA.  Numbers show that.  Everyone knows it, including him.  Do what you are being asked to do.

 

The Twins were at 4.8 innings per start last year.  The number one team (surprise surprise, they also led in pitches per start at 92) was the Astros at 5.9 innings per start.  Now compare the quality of starting pitcher on the Astros (or the Padres, or . . . . ) with the Twins, and I'm certain we can figure out why.  If the Twins get an extra out per game they are at about 5.1 or 5.2, which was the league average for starters.  Eliminating Bundy and especially Archer will help that situation quite a bit, but you have to ask yourself whether a fatigued starter facing the third time through the lineup is better than a fresh bullpen arm.  The statistics say that the third time through the lineup is a disaster for most starting pitchers.  Being ahead 3 to 2 after five innings is definitely better than being behind 3 to 5 after six.

It'll be better but not as much better as fans  expect.

I just don't understand why people are so worried about this. If healthy, which we all know if a big IF, they're going to be allowed to go 95-105 pitches most times out. How many innings will that be? Hopefully 6-7, even 8. 
Probably not in the first weeks of the season, but once they get going a bit. If they're healthy... 
Obviously Maeda may have to work up a bit. They'll be careful with him. 
They'll certainly be watching Mahle's velocities, I'm sure. 
Ryan didn't pitch in 2020, pitched quite a bit in 2021 including the weird schedule due to the Olympics, and last year he was out a month with Covid and wasn't the same for weeks after that. 
I really feel like how they handled things last year was appropriate. It will certainly be different this year.
I they are healthy. 

“Will this be the year Byron Buxton shakes off his perpetual injury woes and puts forth something approximating a full season?”
 
no. 

“Will this be the year Byron Buxton shakes off his perpetual injury woes and puts forth something approximating a full season?”
 
no.