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RandBalls Stu

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  1. Haha
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from Minny505 for an article, Minnesotans Looking for Answers After Front Office Competency   
    Minnesota shored up its rotation and battered bullpen in front of the 2022 MLB trade deadline to near-universal acclaim from local and national media. With the team’s obvious needs met at the cost of a handful of good prospects, local fans are left wondering what happened.
    “That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works,” said Bruce Johnstone, a retired teacher from Alexandria. “You need to be like (former Vikings GM) Rick Spielman and draft quarterbacks who can’t throw or just forget to sign offensive linemen. Then you keep the job for 15 years. There are rules.”
    The Twins acquired frontline starter Tyler Mahle from the Reds, closer Jorge Lopez from the Orioles, and setup man Michael Fulmer from the Tigers. The troubling display of attention to roster shortcomings makes Johnstone wonder when the next shoe will drop.
    “When you’re the Twins, you sign the deflated shell of Bret Boone or pretend Matt Shoemaker just needs a few adjustments,” said the 66-year-old. “Getting the right people at a manageable cost feels like a thing that the Yankees or Red Sox do while we trade for Sidney Ponson. Something isn’t right. I want some answers.”
    Brenda Perkins, a diehard Twins and Minnesota Wild fan, agrees.
    “If you’re a GM, the thing you do is sign veterans to these giant [REDACTED] millstone contracts,” said the 35-year-old Plymouth native. “Put them on the payroll until they’re 58, watch their skills degrade in real-time, and destroy your salary cap for a couple decades. Reasonable moves made to help bolster a pennant run without mortgaging the future? What are we even doing here?”
    It’s not just fans. Aaron Gleeman, Twins beat writer for The Athletic and celebrity spokesperson for Scribe’s Choice Neck Fan Solutions, LLC, says he is as surprised as anyone.
    “This is out of the ordinary, to say the least,” said Gleeman. “It’s usually tweaks or sell-offs. I think a lot of us are using code SURPRISE to get 30% off a 1-year subscription to The Athletic. It’s remarkable.”
    For his part, Johnstone is keeping it all in perspective.
    “Two of those guys will need Tommy John before Labor Day. A piano will fall on Byron Buxton. Spencer Steer is the next Mike Trout. The alternative is too bizarre to contemplate: a Minnesota team made a series of shrewd acquisitions to improve their playoff chances. Yeah, right.”
     
  2. Haha
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from bean5302 for an article, Minnesotans Looking for Answers After Front Office Competency   
    Minnesota shored up its rotation and battered bullpen in front of the 2022 MLB trade deadline to near-universal acclaim from local and national media. With the team’s obvious needs met at the cost of a handful of good prospects, local fans are left wondering what happened.
    “That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works,” said Bruce Johnstone, a retired teacher from Alexandria. “You need to be like (former Vikings GM) Rick Spielman and draft quarterbacks who can’t throw or just forget to sign offensive linemen. Then you keep the job for 15 years. There are rules.”
    The Twins acquired frontline starter Tyler Mahle from the Reds, closer Jorge Lopez from the Orioles, and setup man Michael Fulmer from the Tigers. The troubling display of attention to roster shortcomings makes Johnstone wonder when the next shoe will drop.
    “When you’re the Twins, you sign the deflated shell of Bret Boone or pretend Matt Shoemaker just needs a few adjustments,” said the 66-year-old. “Getting the right people at a manageable cost feels like a thing that the Yankees or Red Sox do while we trade for Sidney Ponson. Something isn’t right. I want some answers.”
    Brenda Perkins, a diehard Twins and Minnesota Wild fan, agrees.
    “If you’re a GM, the thing you do is sign veterans to these giant [REDACTED] millstone contracts,” said the 35-year-old Plymouth native. “Put them on the payroll until they’re 58, watch their skills degrade in real-time, and destroy your salary cap for a couple decades. Reasonable moves made to help bolster a pennant run without mortgaging the future? What are we even doing here?”
    It’s not just fans. Aaron Gleeman, Twins beat writer for The Athletic and celebrity spokesperson for Scribe’s Choice Neck Fan Solutions, LLC, says he is as surprised as anyone.
    “This is out of the ordinary, to say the least,” said Gleeman. “It’s usually tweaks or sell-offs. I think a lot of us are using code SURPRISE to get 30% off a 1-year subscription to The Athletic. It’s remarkable.”
    For his part, Johnstone is keeping it all in perspective.
    “Two of those guys will need Tommy John before Labor Day. A piano will fall on Byron Buxton. Spencer Steer is the next Mike Trout. The alternative is too bizarre to contemplate: a Minnesota team made a series of shrewd acquisitions to improve their playoff chances. Yeah, right.”
     
  3. Like
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from ToddlerHarmon for an article, Minnesotans Looking for Answers After Front Office Competency   
    Minnesota shored up its rotation and battered bullpen in front of the 2022 MLB trade deadline to near-universal acclaim from local and national media. With the team’s obvious needs met at the cost of a handful of good prospects, local fans are left wondering what happened.
    “That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works,” said Bruce Johnstone, a retired teacher from Alexandria. “You need to be like (former Vikings GM) Rick Spielman and draft quarterbacks who can’t throw or just forget to sign offensive linemen. Then you keep the job for 15 years. There are rules.”
    The Twins acquired frontline starter Tyler Mahle from the Reds, closer Jorge Lopez from the Orioles, and setup man Michael Fulmer from the Tigers. The troubling display of attention to roster shortcomings makes Johnstone wonder when the next shoe will drop.
    “When you’re the Twins, you sign the deflated shell of Bret Boone or pretend Matt Shoemaker just needs a few adjustments,” said the 66-year-old. “Getting the right people at a manageable cost feels like a thing that the Yankees or Red Sox do while we trade for Sidney Ponson. Something isn’t right. I want some answers.”
    Brenda Perkins, a diehard Twins and Minnesota Wild fan, agrees.
    “If you’re a GM, the thing you do is sign veterans to these giant [REDACTED] millstone contracts,” said the 35-year-old Plymouth native. “Put them on the payroll until they’re 58, watch their skills degrade in real-time, and destroy your salary cap for a couple decades. Reasonable moves made to help bolster a pennant run without mortgaging the future? What are we even doing here?”
    It’s not just fans. Aaron Gleeman, Twins beat writer for The Athletic and celebrity spokesperson for Scribe’s Choice Neck Fan Solutions, LLC, says he is as surprised as anyone.
    “This is out of the ordinary, to say the least,” said Gleeman. “It’s usually tweaks or sell-offs. I think a lot of us are using code SURPRISE to get 30% off a 1-year subscription to The Athletic. It’s remarkable.”
    For his part, Johnstone is keeping it all in perspective.
    “Two of those guys will need Tommy John before Labor Day. A piano will fall on Byron Buxton. Spencer Steer is the next Mike Trout. The alternative is too bizarre to contemplate: a Minnesota team made a series of shrewd acquisitions to improve their playoff chances. Yeah, right.”
     
  4. Haha
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from NatteringNabob for an article, Minnesotans Looking for Answers After Front Office Competency   
    Minnesota shored up its rotation and battered bullpen in front of the 2022 MLB trade deadline to near-universal acclaim from local and national media. With the team’s obvious needs met at the cost of a handful of good prospects, local fans are left wondering what happened.
    “That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works,” said Bruce Johnstone, a retired teacher from Alexandria. “You need to be like (former Vikings GM) Rick Spielman and draft quarterbacks who can’t throw or just forget to sign offensive linemen. Then you keep the job for 15 years. There are rules.”
    The Twins acquired frontline starter Tyler Mahle from the Reds, closer Jorge Lopez from the Orioles, and setup man Michael Fulmer from the Tigers. The troubling display of attention to roster shortcomings makes Johnstone wonder when the next shoe will drop.
    “When you’re the Twins, you sign the deflated shell of Bret Boone or pretend Matt Shoemaker just needs a few adjustments,” said the 66-year-old. “Getting the right people at a manageable cost feels like a thing that the Yankees or Red Sox do while we trade for Sidney Ponson. Something isn’t right. I want some answers.”
    Brenda Perkins, a diehard Twins and Minnesota Wild fan, agrees.
    “If you’re a GM, the thing you do is sign veterans to these giant [REDACTED] millstone contracts,” said the 35-year-old Plymouth native. “Put them on the payroll until they’re 58, watch their skills degrade in real-time, and destroy your salary cap for a couple decades. Reasonable moves made to help bolster a pennant run without mortgaging the future? What are we even doing here?”
    It’s not just fans. Aaron Gleeman, Twins beat writer for The Athletic and celebrity spokesperson for Scribe’s Choice Neck Fan Solutions, LLC, says he is as surprised as anyone.
    “This is out of the ordinary, to say the least,” said Gleeman. “It’s usually tweaks or sell-offs. I think a lot of us are using code SURPRISE to get 30% off a 1-year subscription to The Athletic. It’s remarkable.”
    For his part, Johnstone is keeping it all in perspective.
    “Two of those guys will need Tommy John before Labor Day. A piano will fall on Byron Buxton. Spencer Steer is the next Mike Trout. The alternative is too bizarre to contemplate: a Minnesota team made a series of shrewd acquisitions to improve their playoff chances. Yeah, right.”
     
  5. Haha
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from Dman for an article, Minnesotans Looking for Answers After Front Office Competency   
    Minnesota shored up its rotation and battered bullpen in front of the 2022 MLB trade deadline to near-universal acclaim from local and national media. With the team’s obvious needs met at the cost of a handful of good prospects, local fans are left wondering what happened.
    “That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works,” said Bruce Johnstone, a retired teacher from Alexandria. “You need to be like (former Vikings GM) Rick Spielman and draft quarterbacks who can’t throw or just forget to sign offensive linemen. Then you keep the job for 15 years. There are rules.”
    The Twins acquired frontline starter Tyler Mahle from the Reds, closer Jorge Lopez from the Orioles, and setup man Michael Fulmer from the Tigers. The troubling display of attention to roster shortcomings makes Johnstone wonder when the next shoe will drop.
    “When you’re the Twins, you sign the deflated shell of Bret Boone or pretend Matt Shoemaker just needs a few adjustments,” said the 66-year-old. “Getting the right people at a manageable cost feels like a thing that the Yankees or Red Sox do while we trade for Sidney Ponson. Something isn’t right. I want some answers.”
    Brenda Perkins, a diehard Twins and Minnesota Wild fan, agrees.
    “If you’re a GM, the thing you do is sign veterans to these giant [REDACTED] millstone contracts,” said the 35-year-old Plymouth native. “Put them on the payroll until they’re 58, watch their skills degrade in real-time, and destroy your salary cap for a couple decades. Reasonable moves made to help bolster a pennant run without mortgaging the future? What are we even doing here?”
    It’s not just fans. Aaron Gleeman, Twins beat writer for The Athletic and celebrity spokesperson for Scribe’s Choice Neck Fan Solutions, LLC, says he is as surprised as anyone.
    “This is out of the ordinary, to say the least,” said Gleeman. “It’s usually tweaks or sell-offs. I think a lot of us are using code SURPRISE to get 30% off a 1-year subscription to The Athletic. It’s remarkable.”
    For his part, Johnstone is keeping it all in perspective.
    “Two of those guys will need Tommy John before Labor Day. A piano will fall on Byron Buxton. Spencer Steer is the next Mike Trout. The alternative is too bizarre to contemplate: a Minnesota team made a series of shrewd acquisitions to improve their playoff chances. Yeah, right.”
     
  6. Haha
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from tarheeltwinsfan for an article, Minnesotans Looking for Answers After Front Office Competency   
    Minnesota shored up its rotation and battered bullpen in front of the 2022 MLB trade deadline to near-universal acclaim from local and national media. With the team’s obvious needs met at the cost of a handful of good prospects, local fans are left wondering what happened.
    “That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works,” said Bruce Johnstone, a retired teacher from Alexandria. “You need to be like (former Vikings GM) Rick Spielman and draft quarterbacks who can’t throw or just forget to sign offensive linemen. Then you keep the job for 15 years. There are rules.”
    The Twins acquired frontline starter Tyler Mahle from the Reds, closer Jorge Lopez from the Orioles, and setup man Michael Fulmer from the Tigers. The troubling display of attention to roster shortcomings makes Johnstone wonder when the next shoe will drop.
    “When you’re the Twins, you sign the deflated shell of Bret Boone or pretend Matt Shoemaker just needs a few adjustments,” said the 66-year-old. “Getting the right people at a manageable cost feels like a thing that the Yankees or Red Sox do while we trade for Sidney Ponson. Something isn’t right. I want some answers.”
    Brenda Perkins, a diehard Twins and Minnesota Wild fan, agrees.
    “If you’re a GM, the thing you do is sign veterans to these giant [REDACTED] millstone contracts,” said the 35-year-old Plymouth native. “Put them on the payroll until they’re 58, watch their skills degrade in real-time, and destroy your salary cap for a couple decades. Reasonable moves made to help bolster a pennant run without mortgaging the future? What are we even doing here?”
    It’s not just fans. Aaron Gleeman, Twins beat writer for The Athletic and celebrity spokesperson for Scribe’s Choice Neck Fan Solutions, LLC, says he is as surprised as anyone.
    “This is out of the ordinary, to say the least,” said Gleeman. “It’s usually tweaks or sell-offs. I think a lot of us are using code SURPRISE to get 30% off a 1-year subscription to The Athletic. It’s remarkable.”
    For his part, Johnstone is keeping it all in perspective.
    “Two of those guys will need Tommy John before Labor Day. A piano will fall on Byron Buxton. Spencer Steer is the next Mike Trout. The alternative is too bizarre to contemplate: a Minnesota team made a series of shrewd acquisitions to improve their playoff chances. Yeah, right.”
     
  7. Haha
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from LewFordLives for an article, Minnesotans Looking for Answers After Front Office Competency   
    Minnesota shored up its rotation and battered bullpen in front of the 2022 MLB trade deadline to near-universal acclaim from local and national media. With the team’s obvious needs met at the cost of a handful of good prospects, local fans are left wondering what happened.
    “That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works,” said Bruce Johnstone, a retired teacher from Alexandria. “You need to be like (former Vikings GM) Rick Spielman and draft quarterbacks who can’t throw or just forget to sign offensive linemen. Then you keep the job for 15 years. There are rules.”
    The Twins acquired frontline starter Tyler Mahle from the Reds, closer Jorge Lopez from the Orioles, and setup man Michael Fulmer from the Tigers. The troubling display of attention to roster shortcomings makes Johnstone wonder when the next shoe will drop.
    “When you’re the Twins, you sign the deflated shell of Bret Boone or pretend Matt Shoemaker just needs a few adjustments,” said the 66-year-old. “Getting the right people at a manageable cost feels like a thing that the Yankees or Red Sox do while we trade for Sidney Ponson. Something isn’t right. I want some answers.”
    Brenda Perkins, a diehard Twins and Minnesota Wild fan, agrees.
    “If you’re a GM, the thing you do is sign veterans to these giant [REDACTED] millstone contracts,” said the 35-year-old Plymouth native. “Put them on the payroll until they’re 58, watch their skills degrade in real-time, and destroy your salary cap for a couple decades. Reasonable moves made to help bolster a pennant run without mortgaging the future? What are we even doing here?”
    It’s not just fans. Aaron Gleeman, Twins beat writer for The Athletic and celebrity spokesperson for Scribe’s Choice Neck Fan Solutions, LLC, says he is as surprised as anyone.
    “This is out of the ordinary, to say the least,” said Gleeman. “It’s usually tweaks or sell-offs. I think a lot of us are using code SURPRISE to get 30% off a 1-year subscription to The Athletic. It’s remarkable.”
    For his part, Johnstone is keeping it all in perspective.
    “Two of those guys will need Tommy John before Labor Day. A piano will fall on Byron Buxton. Spencer Steer is the next Mike Trout. The alternative is too bizarre to contemplate: a Minnesota team made a series of shrewd acquisitions to improve their playoff chances. Yeah, right.”
     
  8. Haha
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from cHawk for an article, Minnesotans Looking for Answers After Front Office Competency   
    Minnesota shored up its rotation and battered bullpen in front of the 2022 MLB trade deadline to near-universal acclaim from local and national media. With the team’s obvious needs met at the cost of a handful of good prospects, local fans are left wondering what happened.
    “That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works,” said Bruce Johnstone, a retired teacher from Alexandria. “You need to be like (former Vikings GM) Rick Spielman and draft quarterbacks who can’t throw or just forget to sign offensive linemen. Then you keep the job for 15 years. There are rules.”
    The Twins acquired frontline starter Tyler Mahle from the Reds, closer Jorge Lopez from the Orioles, and setup man Michael Fulmer from the Tigers. The troubling display of attention to roster shortcomings makes Johnstone wonder when the next shoe will drop.
    “When you’re the Twins, you sign the deflated shell of Bret Boone or pretend Matt Shoemaker just needs a few adjustments,” said the 66-year-old. “Getting the right people at a manageable cost feels like a thing that the Yankees or Red Sox do while we trade for Sidney Ponson. Something isn’t right. I want some answers.”
    Brenda Perkins, a diehard Twins and Minnesota Wild fan, agrees.
    “If you’re a GM, the thing you do is sign veterans to these giant [REDACTED] millstone contracts,” said the 35-year-old Plymouth native. “Put them on the payroll until they’re 58, watch their skills degrade in real-time, and destroy your salary cap for a couple decades. Reasonable moves made to help bolster a pennant run without mortgaging the future? What are we even doing here?”
    It’s not just fans. Aaron Gleeman, Twins beat writer for The Athletic and celebrity spokesperson for Scribe’s Choice Neck Fan Solutions, LLC, says he is as surprised as anyone.
    “This is out of the ordinary, to say the least,” said Gleeman. “It’s usually tweaks or sell-offs. I think a lot of us are using code SURPRISE to get 30% off a 1-year subscription to The Athletic. It’s remarkable.”
    For his part, Johnstone is keeping it all in perspective.
    “Two of those guys will need Tommy John before Labor Day. A piano will fall on Byron Buxton. Spencer Steer is the next Mike Trout. The alternative is too bizarre to contemplate: a Minnesota team made a series of shrewd acquisitions to improve their playoff chances. Yeah, right.”
     
  9. Haha
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from adjacent for an article, Minnesotans Looking for Answers After Front Office Competency   
    Minnesota shored up its rotation and battered bullpen in front of the 2022 MLB trade deadline to near-universal acclaim from local and national media. With the team’s obvious needs met at the cost of a handful of good prospects, local fans are left wondering what happened.
    “That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works,” said Bruce Johnstone, a retired teacher from Alexandria. “You need to be like (former Vikings GM) Rick Spielman and draft quarterbacks who can’t throw or just forget to sign offensive linemen. Then you keep the job for 15 years. There are rules.”
    The Twins acquired frontline starter Tyler Mahle from the Reds, closer Jorge Lopez from the Orioles, and setup man Michael Fulmer from the Tigers. The troubling display of attention to roster shortcomings makes Johnstone wonder when the next shoe will drop.
    “When you’re the Twins, you sign the deflated shell of Bret Boone or pretend Matt Shoemaker just needs a few adjustments,” said the 66-year-old. “Getting the right people at a manageable cost feels like a thing that the Yankees or Red Sox do while we trade for Sidney Ponson. Something isn’t right. I want some answers.”
    Brenda Perkins, a diehard Twins and Minnesota Wild fan, agrees.
    “If you’re a GM, the thing you do is sign veterans to these giant [REDACTED] millstone contracts,” said the 35-year-old Plymouth native. “Put them on the payroll until they’re 58, watch their skills degrade in real-time, and destroy your salary cap for a couple decades. Reasonable moves made to help bolster a pennant run without mortgaging the future? What are we even doing here?”
    It’s not just fans. Aaron Gleeman, Twins beat writer for The Athletic and celebrity spokesperson for Scribe’s Choice Neck Fan Solutions, LLC, says he is as surprised as anyone.
    “This is out of the ordinary, to say the least,” said Gleeman. “It’s usually tweaks or sell-offs. I think a lot of us are using code SURPRISE to get 30% off a 1-year subscription to The Athletic. It’s remarkable.”
    For his part, Johnstone is keeping it all in perspective.
    “Two of those guys will need Tommy John before Labor Day. A piano will fall on Byron Buxton. Spencer Steer is the next Mike Trout. The alternative is too bizarre to contemplate: a Minnesota team made a series of shrewd acquisitions to improve their playoff chances. Yeah, right.”
     
  10. Haha
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from Brazilian Twins Fan for an article, Minnesotans Looking for Answers After Front Office Competency   
    Minnesota shored up its rotation and battered bullpen in front of the 2022 MLB trade deadline to near-universal acclaim from local and national media. With the team’s obvious needs met at the cost of a handful of good prospects, local fans are left wondering what happened.
    “That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works,” said Bruce Johnstone, a retired teacher from Alexandria. “You need to be like (former Vikings GM) Rick Spielman and draft quarterbacks who can’t throw or just forget to sign offensive linemen. Then you keep the job for 15 years. There are rules.”
    The Twins acquired frontline starter Tyler Mahle from the Reds, closer Jorge Lopez from the Orioles, and setup man Michael Fulmer from the Tigers. The troubling display of attention to roster shortcomings makes Johnstone wonder when the next shoe will drop.
    “When you’re the Twins, you sign the deflated shell of Bret Boone or pretend Matt Shoemaker just needs a few adjustments,” said the 66-year-old. “Getting the right people at a manageable cost feels like a thing that the Yankees or Red Sox do while we trade for Sidney Ponson. Something isn’t right. I want some answers.”
    Brenda Perkins, a diehard Twins and Minnesota Wild fan, agrees.
    “If you’re a GM, the thing you do is sign veterans to these giant [REDACTED] millstone contracts,” said the 35-year-old Plymouth native. “Put them on the payroll until they’re 58, watch their skills degrade in real-time, and destroy your salary cap for a couple decades. Reasonable moves made to help bolster a pennant run without mortgaging the future? What are we even doing here?”
    It’s not just fans. Aaron Gleeman, Twins beat writer for The Athletic and celebrity spokesperson for Scribe’s Choice Neck Fan Solutions, LLC, says he is as surprised as anyone.
    “This is out of the ordinary, to say the least,” said Gleeman. “It’s usually tweaks or sell-offs. I think a lot of us are using code SURPRISE to get 30% off a 1-year subscription to The Athletic. It’s remarkable.”
    For his part, Johnstone is keeping it all in perspective.
    “Two of those guys will need Tommy John before Labor Day. A piano will fall on Byron Buxton. Spencer Steer is the next Mike Trout. The alternative is too bizarre to contemplate: a Minnesota team made a series of shrewd acquisitions to improve their playoff chances. Yeah, right.”
     
  11. Like
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from bean5302 for an article, Choose Your Own Trade Deadline Adventure   
    DID THE TWINS MAKE A MOVE?
    IF NO: Standing pat gives us every indication that the Twins hope the rotation’s slump ends, Kenta Maeda saves the bullpen, and the offense does the rest. I’m skeptical! THE END IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A STARTING PITCHER IF YES: I’m glad they did something, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. THE END IF NO: What about the bullpen? I’m troubled! CONTINUE IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A RELIEVER IF YES: I’m glad they did something, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. At least they didn’t trade Wilson Ramos for Matt Capps. I’m still very upset about that and I will die angry about it. I’m angry now! THE END IF NO: What about the rotation? I’m troubled! CONTINUE IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A CATCHER IF YES: I’m glad they added depth to the position with Jeffers’ injury, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. And I'm troubled about the pitching! Very troubled! THE END IF NO: I think Drew Butera is a bullpen catcher for the Angels. A reunion has never made more sense. Bring back Sweet Drew! You can probably get him for some coupons. CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY TRADE CARLOS CORREA DESPITE BEING IN FIRST PLACE AND AN OBVIOUS PLAYOFF TEAM EVEN IF THE PITCHING CONTINUES TO MAKE US ALL SAD IF YES: I hate this so much. You’re in first place, you stupid idiots. You fools. You fools. THE END IF NO: Good. You’re in first place, you stupid idiots. CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY MOVE THE TEAM’S HOME GAMES TO DICK PUTZ FIELD IN ST. CLOUD, MINNESOTA BECAUSE THEY CAN’T AFFORD THE RENT IN THE NORTH LOOP IF YES: I guess I understand? Seems like a pretty long drive for a lot of season ticket holders, and they’ll have to share the field with the St. Cloud Rox, but they have a beer deck along the third base line. The rebuilt Ultimate Sports Bar is just down the way. The White Horse downtown has great food and killer drinks. Enjoy the Granite City! THE END IF NO: Good. That would be a weird thing to do? CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY TRADE FOR JUAN SOTO OR AARON JUDGE OR SHOHEI OHTANI IF YES: I have died. I will not miss any of the players we traded. THE END IF NO: Glad I’m not dead, I guess. Woulda been cool though. THE END Congratulations! You've reached the end of the story. 
    Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash.
     
  12. Haha
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from Sielk for an article, Choose Your Own Trade Deadline Adventure   
    DID THE TWINS MAKE A MOVE?
    IF NO: Standing pat gives us every indication that the Twins hope the rotation’s slump ends, Kenta Maeda saves the bullpen, and the offense does the rest. I’m skeptical! THE END IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A STARTING PITCHER IF YES: I’m glad they did something, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. THE END IF NO: What about the bullpen? I’m troubled! CONTINUE IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A RELIEVER IF YES: I’m glad they did something, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. At least they didn’t trade Wilson Ramos for Matt Capps. I’m still very upset about that and I will die angry about it. I’m angry now! THE END IF NO: What about the rotation? I’m troubled! CONTINUE IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A CATCHER IF YES: I’m glad they added depth to the position with Jeffers’ injury, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. And I'm troubled about the pitching! Very troubled! THE END IF NO: I think Drew Butera is a bullpen catcher for the Angels. A reunion has never made more sense. Bring back Sweet Drew! You can probably get him for some coupons. CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY TRADE CARLOS CORREA DESPITE BEING IN FIRST PLACE AND AN OBVIOUS PLAYOFF TEAM EVEN IF THE PITCHING CONTINUES TO MAKE US ALL SAD IF YES: I hate this so much. You’re in first place, you stupid idiots. You fools. You fools. THE END IF NO: Good. You’re in first place, you stupid idiots. CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY MOVE THE TEAM’S HOME GAMES TO DICK PUTZ FIELD IN ST. CLOUD, MINNESOTA BECAUSE THEY CAN’T AFFORD THE RENT IN THE NORTH LOOP IF YES: I guess I understand? Seems like a pretty long drive for a lot of season ticket holders, and they’ll have to share the field with the St. Cloud Rox, but they have a beer deck along the third base line. The rebuilt Ultimate Sports Bar is just down the way. The White Horse downtown has great food and killer drinks. Enjoy the Granite City! THE END IF NO: Good. That would be a weird thing to do? CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY TRADE FOR JUAN SOTO OR AARON JUDGE OR SHOHEI OHTANI IF YES: I have died. I will not miss any of the players we traded. THE END IF NO: Glad I’m not dead, I guess. Woulda been cool though. THE END Congratulations! You've reached the end of the story. 
    Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash.
     
  13. Like
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from NatteringNabob for an article, Choose Your Own Trade Deadline Adventure   
    DID THE TWINS MAKE A MOVE?
    IF NO: Standing pat gives us every indication that the Twins hope the rotation’s slump ends, Kenta Maeda saves the bullpen, and the offense does the rest. I’m skeptical! THE END IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A STARTING PITCHER IF YES: I’m glad they did something, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. THE END IF NO: What about the bullpen? I’m troubled! CONTINUE IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A RELIEVER IF YES: I’m glad they did something, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. At least they didn’t trade Wilson Ramos for Matt Capps. I’m still very upset about that and I will die angry about it. I’m angry now! THE END IF NO: What about the rotation? I’m troubled! CONTINUE IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A CATCHER IF YES: I’m glad they added depth to the position with Jeffers’ injury, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. And I'm troubled about the pitching! Very troubled! THE END IF NO: I think Drew Butera is a bullpen catcher for the Angels. A reunion has never made more sense. Bring back Sweet Drew! You can probably get him for some coupons. CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY TRADE CARLOS CORREA DESPITE BEING IN FIRST PLACE AND AN OBVIOUS PLAYOFF TEAM EVEN IF THE PITCHING CONTINUES TO MAKE US ALL SAD IF YES: I hate this so much. You’re in first place, you stupid idiots. You fools. You fools. THE END IF NO: Good. You’re in first place, you stupid idiots. CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY MOVE THE TEAM’S HOME GAMES TO DICK PUTZ FIELD IN ST. CLOUD, MINNESOTA BECAUSE THEY CAN’T AFFORD THE RENT IN THE NORTH LOOP IF YES: I guess I understand? Seems like a pretty long drive for a lot of season ticket holders, and they’ll have to share the field with the St. Cloud Rox, but they have a beer deck along the third base line. The rebuilt Ultimate Sports Bar is just down the way. The White Horse downtown has great food and killer drinks. Enjoy the Granite City! THE END IF NO: Good. That would be a weird thing to do? CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY TRADE FOR JUAN SOTO OR AARON JUDGE OR SHOHEI OHTANI IF YES: I have died. I will not miss any of the players we traded. THE END IF NO: Glad I’m not dead, I guess. Woulda been cool though. THE END Congratulations! You've reached the end of the story. 
    Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash.
     
  14. Like
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from Karbo for an article, Choose Your Own Trade Deadline Adventure   
    DID THE TWINS MAKE A MOVE?
    IF NO: Standing pat gives us every indication that the Twins hope the rotation’s slump ends, Kenta Maeda saves the bullpen, and the offense does the rest. I’m skeptical! THE END IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A STARTING PITCHER IF YES: I’m glad they did something, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. THE END IF NO: What about the bullpen? I’m troubled! CONTINUE IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A RELIEVER IF YES: I’m glad they did something, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. At least they didn’t trade Wilson Ramos for Matt Capps. I’m still very upset about that and I will die angry about it. I’m angry now! THE END IF NO: What about the rotation? I’m troubled! CONTINUE IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A CATCHER IF YES: I’m glad they added depth to the position with Jeffers’ injury, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. And I'm troubled about the pitching! Very troubled! THE END IF NO: I think Drew Butera is a bullpen catcher for the Angels. A reunion has never made more sense. Bring back Sweet Drew! You can probably get him for some coupons. CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY TRADE CARLOS CORREA DESPITE BEING IN FIRST PLACE AND AN OBVIOUS PLAYOFF TEAM EVEN IF THE PITCHING CONTINUES TO MAKE US ALL SAD IF YES: I hate this so much. You’re in first place, you stupid idiots. You fools. You fools. THE END IF NO: Good. You’re in first place, you stupid idiots. CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY MOVE THE TEAM’S HOME GAMES TO DICK PUTZ FIELD IN ST. CLOUD, MINNESOTA BECAUSE THEY CAN’T AFFORD THE RENT IN THE NORTH LOOP IF YES: I guess I understand? Seems like a pretty long drive for a lot of season ticket holders, and they’ll have to share the field with the St. Cloud Rox, but they have a beer deck along the third base line. The rebuilt Ultimate Sports Bar is just down the way. The White Horse downtown has great food and killer drinks. Enjoy the Granite City! THE END IF NO: Good. That would be a weird thing to do? CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY TRADE FOR JUAN SOTO OR AARON JUDGE OR SHOHEI OHTANI IF YES: I have died. I will not miss any of the players we traded. THE END IF NO: Glad I’m not dead, I guess. Woulda been cool though. THE END Congratulations! You've reached the end of the story. 
    Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash.
     
  15. Like
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from Clare for an article, Choose Your Own Trade Deadline Adventure   
    DID THE TWINS MAKE A MOVE?
    IF NO: Standing pat gives us every indication that the Twins hope the rotation’s slump ends, Kenta Maeda saves the bullpen, and the offense does the rest. I’m skeptical! THE END IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A STARTING PITCHER IF YES: I’m glad they did something, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. THE END IF NO: What about the bullpen? I’m troubled! CONTINUE IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A RELIEVER IF YES: I’m glad they did something, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. At least they didn’t trade Wilson Ramos for Matt Capps. I’m still very upset about that and I will die angry about it. I’m angry now! THE END IF NO: What about the rotation? I’m troubled! CONTINUE IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A CATCHER IF YES: I’m glad they added depth to the position with Jeffers’ injury, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. And I'm troubled about the pitching! Very troubled! THE END IF NO: I think Drew Butera is a bullpen catcher for the Angels. A reunion has never made more sense. Bring back Sweet Drew! You can probably get him for some coupons. CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY TRADE CARLOS CORREA DESPITE BEING IN FIRST PLACE AND AN OBVIOUS PLAYOFF TEAM EVEN IF THE PITCHING CONTINUES TO MAKE US ALL SAD IF YES: I hate this so much. You’re in first place, you stupid idiots. You fools. You fools. THE END IF NO: Good. You’re in first place, you stupid idiots. CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY MOVE THE TEAM’S HOME GAMES TO DICK PUTZ FIELD IN ST. CLOUD, MINNESOTA BECAUSE THEY CAN’T AFFORD THE RENT IN THE NORTH LOOP IF YES: I guess I understand? Seems like a pretty long drive for a lot of season ticket holders, and they’ll have to share the field with the St. Cloud Rox, but they have a beer deck along the third base line. The rebuilt Ultimate Sports Bar is just down the way. The White Horse downtown has great food and killer drinks. Enjoy the Granite City! THE END IF NO: Good. That would be a weird thing to do? CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY TRADE FOR JUAN SOTO OR AARON JUDGE OR SHOHEI OHTANI IF YES: I have died. I will not miss any of the players we traded. THE END IF NO: Glad I’m not dead, I guess. Woulda been cool though. THE END Congratulations! You've reached the end of the story. 
    Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash.
     
  16. Haha
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from mikelink45 for an article, Choose Your Own Trade Deadline Adventure   
    DID THE TWINS MAKE A MOVE?
    IF NO: Standing pat gives us every indication that the Twins hope the rotation’s slump ends, Kenta Maeda saves the bullpen, and the offense does the rest. I’m skeptical! THE END IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A STARTING PITCHER IF YES: I’m glad they did something, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. THE END IF NO: What about the bullpen? I’m troubled! CONTINUE IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A RELIEVER IF YES: I’m glad they did something, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. At least they didn’t trade Wilson Ramos for Matt Capps. I’m still very upset about that and I will die angry about it. I’m angry now! THE END IF NO: What about the rotation? I’m troubled! CONTINUE IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A CATCHER IF YES: I’m glad they added depth to the position with Jeffers’ injury, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. And I'm troubled about the pitching! Very troubled! THE END IF NO: I think Drew Butera is a bullpen catcher for the Angels. A reunion has never made more sense. Bring back Sweet Drew! You can probably get him for some coupons. CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY TRADE CARLOS CORREA DESPITE BEING IN FIRST PLACE AND AN OBVIOUS PLAYOFF TEAM EVEN IF THE PITCHING CONTINUES TO MAKE US ALL SAD IF YES: I hate this so much. You’re in first place, you stupid idiots. You fools. You fools. THE END IF NO: Good. You’re in first place, you stupid idiots. CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY MOVE THE TEAM’S HOME GAMES TO DICK PUTZ FIELD IN ST. CLOUD, MINNESOTA BECAUSE THEY CAN’T AFFORD THE RENT IN THE NORTH LOOP IF YES: I guess I understand? Seems like a pretty long drive for a lot of season ticket holders, and they’ll have to share the field with the St. Cloud Rox, but they have a beer deck along the third base line. The rebuilt Ultimate Sports Bar is just down the way. The White Horse downtown has great food and killer drinks. Enjoy the Granite City! THE END IF NO: Good. That would be a weird thing to do? CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY TRADE FOR JUAN SOTO OR AARON JUDGE OR SHOHEI OHTANI IF YES: I have died. I will not miss any of the players we traded. THE END IF NO: Glad I’m not dead, I guess. Woulda been cool though. THE END Congratulations! You've reached the end of the story. 
    Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash.
     
  17. Like
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from Game7-91 for an article, Choose Your Own Trade Deadline Adventure   
    DID THE TWINS MAKE A MOVE?
    IF NO: Standing pat gives us every indication that the Twins hope the rotation’s slump ends, Kenta Maeda saves the bullpen, and the offense does the rest. I’m skeptical! THE END IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A STARTING PITCHER IF YES: I’m glad they did something, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. THE END IF NO: What about the bullpen? I’m troubled! CONTINUE IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A RELIEVER IF YES: I’m glad they did something, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. At least they didn’t trade Wilson Ramos for Matt Capps. I’m still very upset about that and I will die angry about it. I’m angry now! THE END IF NO: What about the rotation? I’m troubled! CONTINUE IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A CATCHER IF YES: I’m glad they added depth to the position with Jeffers’ injury, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. And I'm troubled about the pitching! Very troubled! THE END IF NO: I think Drew Butera is a bullpen catcher for the Angels. A reunion has never made more sense. Bring back Sweet Drew! You can probably get him for some coupons. CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY TRADE CARLOS CORREA DESPITE BEING IN FIRST PLACE AND AN OBVIOUS PLAYOFF TEAM EVEN IF THE PITCHING CONTINUES TO MAKE US ALL SAD IF YES: I hate this so much. You’re in first place, you stupid idiots. You fools. You fools. THE END IF NO: Good. You’re in first place, you stupid idiots. CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY MOVE THE TEAM’S HOME GAMES TO DICK PUTZ FIELD IN ST. CLOUD, MINNESOTA BECAUSE THEY CAN’T AFFORD THE RENT IN THE NORTH LOOP IF YES: I guess I understand? Seems like a pretty long drive for a lot of season ticket holders, and they’ll have to share the field with the St. Cloud Rox, but they have a beer deck along the third base line. The rebuilt Ultimate Sports Bar is just down the way. The White Horse downtown has great food and killer drinks. Enjoy the Granite City! THE END IF NO: Good. That would be a weird thing to do? CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY TRADE FOR JUAN SOTO OR AARON JUDGE OR SHOHEI OHTANI IF YES: I have died. I will not miss any of the players we traded. THE END IF NO: Glad I’m not dead, I guess. Woulda been cool though. THE END Congratulations! You've reached the end of the story. 
    Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash.
     
  18. Like
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from PopRiveter for an article, Choose Your Own Trade Deadline Adventure   
    DID THE TWINS MAKE A MOVE?
    IF NO: Standing pat gives us every indication that the Twins hope the rotation’s slump ends, Kenta Maeda saves the bullpen, and the offense does the rest. I’m skeptical! THE END IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A STARTING PITCHER IF YES: I’m glad they did something, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. THE END IF NO: What about the bullpen? I’m troubled! CONTINUE IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A RELIEVER IF YES: I’m glad they did something, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. At least they didn’t trade Wilson Ramos for Matt Capps. I’m still very upset about that and I will die angry about it. I’m angry now! THE END IF NO: What about the rotation? I’m troubled! CONTINUE IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A CATCHER IF YES: I’m glad they added depth to the position with Jeffers’ injury, but I’m sorry to see (prospect name or names) go. And I'm troubled about the pitching! Very troubled! THE END IF NO: I think Drew Butera is a bullpen catcher for the Angels. A reunion has never made more sense. Bring back Sweet Drew! You can probably get him for some coupons. CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY TRADE CARLOS CORREA DESPITE BEING IN FIRST PLACE AND AN OBVIOUS PLAYOFF TEAM EVEN IF THE PITCHING CONTINUES TO MAKE US ALL SAD IF YES: I hate this so much. You’re in first place, you stupid idiots. You fools. You fools. THE END IF NO: Good. You’re in first place, you stupid idiots. CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY MOVE THE TEAM’S HOME GAMES TO DICK PUTZ FIELD IN ST. CLOUD, MINNESOTA BECAUSE THEY CAN’T AFFORD THE RENT IN THE NORTH LOOP IF YES: I guess I understand? Seems like a pretty long drive for a lot of season ticket holders, and they’ll have to share the field with the St. Cloud Rox, but they have a beer deck along the third base line. The rebuilt Ultimate Sports Bar is just down the way. The White Horse downtown has great food and killer drinks. Enjoy the Granite City! THE END IF NO: Good. That would be a weird thing to do? CONTINUE IF YES: DID THEY TRADE FOR JUAN SOTO OR AARON JUDGE OR SHOHEI OHTANI IF YES: I have died. I will not miss any of the players we traded. THE END IF NO: Glad I’m not dead, I guess. Woulda been cool though. THE END Congratulations! You've reached the end of the story. 
    Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash.
     
  19. Haha
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from Twins_Fan_For_Life for an article, Bremer Uses Long All-Star Break to Get Mickey Hatcher Face Tattoo   
    Fans tuning in to Bally Sports North for Saturday’s Twins/Tigers tilt might notice a difference. Not on the field, but off.
    Dick Bremer, the veteran broadcaster who has handled play-by-play duties for the Minnesota Twins since 1983, revealed that he got a full-face tattoo paying tribute to Mickey Hatcher, who played for the Twins from 1981-1986.
    “He FaceTimed me from the tattoo parlor and said he was pulling the trigger,” said Bally Sports North analyst and local former relief pitcher Glen Perkins. “I just thought he was getting a TC on his bicep or something. He did not. It’s troubling.”
    The multiphase tattoo features a headshot of Hatcher on his left cheek and Hatcher’s powder blue home jersey on his right. Under his left eye is a script “Mickey” with a matching script “Hatcher” under the right. An all caps “HATCHMAN4LIFE” runs along his jawline.
    “’Hatchman’ wasn’t even the guy’s nickname,” said Perkins. “I’m going to repeat this: It’s so troubling.”
    Hatcher is perhaps best known for hurting himself catching a gimmick fly ball dropped from the Metrodome roof the day after Dave Kingman hit one through the Teflon. What drove Bremer to celebrate this minor figure in Twins history? One family member has a theory.
    “We were just sharing Twins memories in the Bremer group chat on Monday,” said Bremer’s son Erik, himself a play-by-play voice for the minor league Pensacola Blue Wahoos. “And my sister, who never responds to these things, pops in with, ‘Hey, remember when Bert Blyleven (Bremer's longtime broadcast partner) swore a bunch on the air? Cry laugh emoji, cry laugh emoji, poop emoji, cry laugh emoji.’ There was no response. She knew right away what she did.”
    Sources close to the family and organization say Bremer’s years as Blyleven’s foil left him emotionally spent and spiritually broken, and he’s only recently begun to fix that personal trauma. Would an innocent reminder lead to such an impulsive, permanent action?
    “Every day it was ‘downward plane’ this, ‘circle me’ that,” said a front office source. “He was also so close to Bert’s fart radius. For decades. A lesser man would’ve cracked years ago. That scar tissue is still tender, as is his heavily tattooed face and chin.”
    Bremer could not be reached for comment to this story or The Athletic’s report about an alleged Rob Wilfong henna tattoo on his left foot.
    Image license here.
     
  20. Haha
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from nclahammer for an article, Bremer Uses Long All-Star Break to Get Mickey Hatcher Face Tattoo   
    Fans tuning in to Bally Sports North for Saturday’s Twins/Tigers tilt might notice a difference. Not on the field, but off.
    Dick Bremer, the veteran broadcaster who has handled play-by-play duties for the Minnesota Twins since 1983, revealed that he got a full-face tattoo paying tribute to Mickey Hatcher, who played for the Twins from 1981-1986.
    “He FaceTimed me from the tattoo parlor and said he was pulling the trigger,” said Bally Sports North analyst and local former relief pitcher Glen Perkins. “I just thought he was getting a TC on his bicep or something. He did not. It’s troubling.”
    The multiphase tattoo features a headshot of Hatcher on his left cheek and Hatcher’s powder blue home jersey on his right. Under his left eye is a script “Mickey” with a matching script “Hatcher” under the right. An all caps “HATCHMAN4LIFE” runs along his jawline.
    “’Hatchman’ wasn’t even the guy’s nickname,” said Perkins. “I’m going to repeat this: It’s so troubling.”
    Hatcher is perhaps best known for hurting himself catching a gimmick fly ball dropped from the Metrodome roof the day after Dave Kingman hit one through the Teflon. What drove Bremer to celebrate this minor figure in Twins history? One family member has a theory.
    “We were just sharing Twins memories in the Bremer group chat on Monday,” said Bremer’s son Erik, himself a play-by-play voice for the minor league Pensacola Blue Wahoos. “And my sister, who never responds to these things, pops in with, ‘Hey, remember when Bert Blyleven (Bremer's longtime broadcast partner) swore a bunch on the air? Cry laugh emoji, cry laugh emoji, poop emoji, cry laugh emoji.’ There was no response. She knew right away what she did.”
    Sources close to the family and organization say Bremer’s years as Blyleven’s foil left him emotionally spent and spiritually broken, and he’s only recently begun to fix that personal trauma. Would an innocent reminder lead to such an impulsive, permanent action?
    “Every day it was ‘downward plane’ this, ‘circle me’ that,” said a front office source. “He was also so close to Bert’s fart radius. For decades. A lesser man would’ve cracked years ago. That scar tissue is still tender, as is his heavily tattooed face and chin.”
    Bremer could not be reached for comment to this story or The Athletic’s report about an alleged Rob Wilfong henna tattoo on his left foot.
    Image license here.
     
  21. Haha
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from Huskertwin for an article, Bremer Uses Long All-Star Break to Get Mickey Hatcher Face Tattoo   
    Fans tuning in to Bally Sports North for Saturday’s Twins/Tigers tilt might notice a difference. Not on the field, but off.
    Dick Bremer, the veteran broadcaster who has handled play-by-play duties for the Minnesota Twins since 1983, revealed that he got a full-face tattoo paying tribute to Mickey Hatcher, who played for the Twins from 1981-1986.
    “He FaceTimed me from the tattoo parlor and said he was pulling the trigger,” said Bally Sports North analyst and local former relief pitcher Glen Perkins. “I just thought he was getting a TC on his bicep or something. He did not. It’s troubling.”
    The multiphase tattoo features a headshot of Hatcher on his left cheek and Hatcher’s powder blue home jersey on his right. Under his left eye is a script “Mickey” with a matching script “Hatcher” under the right. An all caps “HATCHMAN4LIFE” runs along his jawline.
    “’Hatchman’ wasn’t even the guy’s nickname,” said Perkins. “I’m going to repeat this: It’s so troubling.”
    Hatcher is perhaps best known for hurting himself catching a gimmick fly ball dropped from the Metrodome roof the day after Dave Kingman hit one through the Teflon. What drove Bremer to celebrate this minor figure in Twins history? One family member has a theory.
    “We were just sharing Twins memories in the Bremer group chat on Monday,” said Bremer’s son Erik, himself a play-by-play voice for the minor league Pensacola Blue Wahoos. “And my sister, who never responds to these things, pops in with, ‘Hey, remember when Bert Blyleven (Bremer's longtime broadcast partner) swore a bunch on the air? Cry laugh emoji, cry laugh emoji, poop emoji, cry laugh emoji.’ There was no response. She knew right away what she did.”
    Sources close to the family and organization say Bremer’s years as Blyleven’s foil left him emotionally spent and spiritually broken, and he’s only recently begun to fix that personal trauma. Would an innocent reminder lead to such an impulsive, permanent action?
    “Every day it was ‘downward plane’ this, ‘circle me’ that,” said a front office source. “He was also so close to Bert’s fart radius. For decades. A lesser man would’ve cracked years ago. That scar tissue is still tender, as is his heavily tattooed face and chin.”
    Bremer could not be reached for comment to this story or The Athletic’s report about an alleged Rob Wilfong henna tattoo on his left foot.
    Image license here.
     
  22. Haha
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from Danchat for an article, Minnesota’s Big Second Half Move Revealed: Keep Tony La Russa Employed   
    With obvious needs like bullpen depth and another starting pitcher staring them in the face, sources familiar with the Twins front office say they have a singular focus headed into the All-Star break:
    The godless Chicago White Sox. In particular, the manager’s job security.
    Tony La Russa, the 76-year-old DUI enthusiast and leader of the godless Chicago White Sox, has appeared befuddled and bewildered at times. His team, heavily favored to win the AL Central, has struggled mightily all season long and continues to trail the first-place Twins in the standings. Given the talent on White Sox roster, Minnesota is banking on the manager continuing to waste it at every turn.
    “Obviously, we would love to reinforce the bullpen,” said a front office source. “The thing is, that takes money and prospects. Keeping Tony in charge on the South Side costs us nothing. We'll be putting a lot of encouragement on our social channels and via group chat with White Sox players and staff. Lots of 'Really admire what you're doing' and 'Looks like you're turning things around, we just hope we can get a wild card.' Stuff like that.”
    Unlike godless Chicago White Sox teams of the past, this roster is loaded with likeable, talented players. Liam Hendriks, Tim Anderson, Dylan Cease, the unbuttoned majesty of Eloy Jimenez. Sources say it’s dumbfounding that they’ve been unable to catch an overperforming, banged-up Twins team with a threadbare bullpen. Minnesota aims to keep it that way.
    “Another front-line starting pitcher would be terrific, especially if you’re looking towards the playoffs,” said the source. “But you have to get there first. Letting Tony cook is the best way to ensure that.”
    Observers close to the situation agree.
    “Not a lot of managers could pull off what La Russa is doing,” said a Twins coach. “He’s a legend for a reason.”
    “I heard he might start every inning with an intentional walk on Saturday,” said an MLB source. “It’s unorthodox to be sure, but he says that it sets up the double play every time. That’s just facts. He’s a Hall of Famer.”
     
  23. Haha
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from wsnydes for an article, Minnesota’s Big Second Half Move Revealed: Keep Tony La Russa Employed   
    With obvious needs like bullpen depth and another starting pitcher staring them in the face, sources familiar with the Twins front office say they have a singular focus headed into the All-Star break:
    The godless Chicago White Sox. In particular, the manager’s job security.
    Tony La Russa, the 76-year-old DUI enthusiast and leader of the godless Chicago White Sox, has appeared befuddled and bewildered at times. His team, heavily favored to win the AL Central, has struggled mightily all season long and continues to trail the first-place Twins in the standings. Given the talent on White Sox roster, Minnesota is banking on the manager continuing to waste it at every turn.
    “Obviously, we would love to reinforce the bullpen,” said a front office source. “The thing is, that takes money and prospects. Keeping Tony in charge on the South Side costs us nothing. We'll be putting a lot of encouragement on our social channels and via group chat with White Sox players and staff. Lots of 'Really admire what you're doing' and 'Looks like you're turning things around, we just hope we can get a wild card.' Stuff like that.”
    Unlike godless Chicago White Sox teams of the past, this roster is loaded with likeable, talented players. Liam Hendriks, Tim Anderson, Dylan Cease, the unbuttoned majesty of Eloy Jimenez. Sources say it’s dumbfounding that they’ve been unable to catch an overperforming, banged-up Twins team with a threadbare bullpen. Minnesota aims to keep it that way.
    “Another front-line starting pitcher would be terrific, especially if you’re looking towards the playoffs,” said the source. “But you have to get there first. Letting Tony cook is the best way to ensure that.”
    Observers close to the situation agree.
    “Not a lot of managers could pull off what La Russa is doing,” said a Twins coach. “He’s a legend for a reason.”
    “I heard he might start every inning with an intentional walk on Saturday,” said an MLB source. “It’s unorthodox to be sure, but he says that it sets up the double play every time. That’s just facts. He’s a Hall of Famer.”
     
  24. Haha
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from Yoke for an article, Minnesota’s Big Second Half Move Revealed: Keep Tony La Russa Employed   
    With obvious needs like bullpen depth and another starting pitcher staring them in the face, sources familiar with the Twins front office say they have a singular focus headed into the All-Star break:
    The godless Chicago White Sox. In particular, the manager’s job security.
    Tony La Russa, the 76-year-old DUI enthusiast and leader of the godless Chicago White Sox, has appeared befuddled and bewildered at times. His team, heavily favored to win the AL Central, has struggled mightily all season long and continues to trail the first-place Twins in the standings. Given the talent on White Sox roster, Minnesota is banking on the manager continuing to waste it at every turn.
    “Obviously, we would love to reinforce the bullpen,” said a front office source. “The thing is, that takes money and prospects. Keeping Tony in charge on the South Side costs us nothing. We'll be putting a lot of encouragement on our social channels and via group chat with White Sox players and staff. Lots of 'Really admire what you're doing' and 'Looks like you're turning things around, we just hope we can get a wild card.' Stuff like that.”
    Unlike godless Chicago White Sox teams of the past, this roster is loaded with likeable, talented players. Liam Hendriks, Tim Anderson, Dylan Cease, the unbuttoned majesty of Eloy Jimenez. Sources say it’s dumbfounding that they’ve been unable to catch an overperforming, banged-up Twins team with a threadbare bullpen. Minnesota aims to keep it that way.
    “Another front-line starting pitcher would be terrific, especially if you’re looking towards the playoffs,” said the source. “But you have to get there first. Letting Tony cook is the best way to ensure that.”
    Observers close to the situation agree.
    “Not a lot of managers could pull off what La Russa is doing,” said a Twins coach. “He’s a legend for a reason.”
    “I heard he might start every inning with an intentional walk on Saturday,” said an MLB source. “It’s unorthodox to be sure, but he says that it sets up the double play every time. That’s just facts. He’s a Hall of Famer.”
     
  25. Haha
    RandBalls Stu got a reaction from bean5302 for an article, Minnesota’s Big Second Half Move Revealed: Keep Tony La Russa Employed   
    With obvious needs like bullpen depth and another starting pitcher staring them in the face, sources familiar with the Twins front office say they have a singular focus headed into the All-Star break:
    The godless Chicago White Sox. In particular, the manager’s job security.
    Tony La Russa, the 76-year-old DUI enthusiast and leader of the godless Chicago White Sox, has appeared befuddled and bewildered at times. His team, heavily favored to win the AL Central, has struggled mightily all season long and continues to trail the first-place Twins in the standings. Given the talent on White Sox roster, Minnesota is banking on the manager continuing to waste it at every turn.
    “Obviously, we would love to reinforce the bullpen,” said a front office source. “The thing is, that takes money and prospects. Keeping Tony in charge on the South Side costs us nothing. We'll be putting a lot of encouragement on our social channels and via group chat with White Sox players and staff. Lots of 'Really admire what you're doing' and 'Looks like you're turning things around, we just hope we can get a wild card.' Stuff like that.”
    Unlike godless Chicago White Sox teams of the past, this roster is loaded with likeable, talented players. Liam Hendriks, Tim Anderson, Dylan Cease, the unbuttoned majesty of Eloy Jimenez. Sources say it’s dumbfounding that they’ve been unable to catch an overperforming, banged-up Twins team with a threadbare bullpen. Minnesota aims to keep it that way.
    “Another front-line starting pitcher would be terrific, especially if you’re looking towards the playoffs,” said the source. “But you have to get there first. Letting Tony cook is the best way to ensure that.”
    Observers close to the situation agree.
    “Not a lot of managers could pull off what La Russa is doing,” said a Twins coach. “He’s a legend for a reason.”
    “I heard he might start every inning with an intentional walk on Saturday,” said an MLB source. “It’s unorthodox to be sure, but he says that it sets up the double play every time. That’s just facts. He’s a Hall of Famer.”
     
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