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Brock Beauchamp

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  1. Like
    Brock Beauchamp reacted to RandBalls Stu for an article, Simmons Wants to Know the Real Story Behind Reliever’s Broken Hand   
    When Milwaukee’s ace setup man Devin Williams fractured his pitching hand after celebrating the team’s playoff clinching victory, reactions were pretty much uniform: that’s some real bad luck for the Brewers and/or worse decision making by Williams. For one shortstop, it only led to more questions.
    “What is Anthony Fauci hiding,” asked Andrelton Simmons of the Minnesota Twins, referencing the doctor who leads the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. “He hasn’t said a word about this. His silence says more than any public statement.”
    Simmons, a public vaccine skeptic, had harsh words for those who believed the accounts of Williams, the Brewers, media outlets, the Commissioner’s office, and objective reality.
    “The Brewers are a legitimate title contender and you people actually believe that one of their best players, after they lock up a playoff berth, would punch a wall with his pitching hand,” said Simmons. “I’m literally laughing out loud. Sure he did, sheeple. Sure he did.”
    When pressed on what he thinks really happened, Simmons looked to the past.
    “The Brewers were already 85% vaccinated in May, and now one of their best players has a broken hand,” said Simmons. “Not one Brewer pitcher broke his pitching hand before last year’s playoffs. You know what else didn’t happen before last year’s playoffs? Vaccinations. Connect the dots, my friend.”
    Simmons also claimed that while there’s no proof that the FDA trapped former Twin Marty Cordova in a tanning bed and caused him to miss multiple day games, “they’ve never denied it, either. Funny how that works.”
  2. Like
    Brock Beauchamp reacted to RandBalls Stu for an article, Sources: Injury Gods Also Surprised by Lack of Joe Ryan Injury   
    As entities that predate recorded history, it’s very hard to get something by the Injury Gods. Yet that’s exactly what happened on Tuesday afternoon, as a wicked comebacker found Joe Ryan’s pitching hand without causing lasting damage.
    “Ryan’s a big part of their future plans so it seems like that’s an ideal place to really put the screws to the player and the Twins,” said a source close to Znon the Wrathful, the unspeakable beast responsible for tweaking Minnesota’s ulnar collateral ligaments. “I can’t explain it. Nor can They. The entire nether world is buzzing. To be clear, that’s mostly because of the bees we’re sending to swarm Byron Buxton next Wednesday, but it’s also the talk of the realm.”
    It initially appeared that the Gods had done as they always have to the bedeviled franchise, with Ryan immediately storming off the mound and heading to the showers.
    “Oh yeah, I thought for sure we tagged and bagged him,” said another source who works in Damnations and Accounts Receivable for Langurr The Plague King. “I should have known something wasn’t right when the ball didn’t deflect and hit Jorge Polanco in the eye. Classic double play and we didn’t even get the one? You don’t get surprised around this office too often, but that one put us back on our hooves.”
    The resulting X-rays were negative, with Ryan diagnosed as having a mere bruise. He might not even miss a start. The lack of traumatic injury is leaving more questions than answers among Those who exist to harm and maraud.
    “It’s a real stumper,” said a source familiar with Znon’s thinking. “His name is Znon the Wrathful. He just loves Himself some wrath. Lots of speculation that He’s going to make up for it by dropping a house on Ryan’s pinky toe or putting a black bear in his car. No one ever expects the black bear. Bears can’t drive!”
  3. Like
    Brock Beauchamp reacted to RandBalls Stu for an article, Andrelton Simmons Isn’t Good Enough to Get Away with This   
    Remember Steve Carlton? The not-very-integral member of the 1987 World Champion Minnesota Twins was, at one time, the best pitcher in baseball. Four Cy Youngs, five years leading the National League in strikeouts (the fifth time at age 38), last pitcher to throw 300 innings a season, led the Phillies to their first title in 1980. A remarkable career.
    He was also completely out of his mind.
    Carlton never spoke to the media, which means we didn’t learn until he was long retired that he built a mountain lair with a 7000-foot storage cellar loaded to the gills with guns and bottled water for “The Revolution.” That revolution was coming thanks to Russian sound waves, the Skull and Bones Society, the Elders of Zion, the National Education Association, and more. I’m aware this qualifies him to represent the state of Georgia in Congress today, but in 1994 this was wild stuff.
    One assumes that the Phillies knew that Steve was off his nut, but when you can produce like he did, you let that stuff slide a little bit, especially if he keeps it quiet. By the time he was failing to make the Minnesota Twins playoff roster because he wasn’t as good as Lester Straker, he was just a cooked 43-year-old with weirdly anti-Semitic ideas about how the world works. He never pitched again.
    Which brings me to Andrelton Simmons.
    Already the COVID patient zero of the Twins locker room, he took to social media on Thursday to let the world know, and I quote:
    I’m not going to debate the efficacy of the COVID-19 vaccines with Simmons or anyone else, as there is no debate to be had. They work. Please shut up and let the horses have their wormer paste. (Also, it’s “effects.”)
    Across town, the Vikings are dealing with a similar situation. A handful of their best players (Adam Thielen, Harrison Smith, I guess Kirk Cousins if you squint hard enough) apparently won’t get the vacc either. It presents some hard choices for them, as they don’t have quality replacements for any of them as the regular season looms, and the NFL will make teams forfeit games if they can’t field a lineup due to COVID quarantines.
    The Twins face no such dilemma.
    The season is over. Simmons is an offensive liability and a good-to-excellent defender, which basically makes him a better Jeff Reboulet, if Jeff Reboulet thought Jurassic Park was real. He’s on a one-year deal. Maybe if he was the standout player in a disappointing season you could let his idiocy slide. Or maybe if it was something less harmful and kind of quirky, like thinking the earth was flat or dedicating his Instagram Stories to proving that birds are a deep-fake.
    He’s not good enough to get away with this. Let the summer of Drew Maggi begin.
    Image license here.
  4. Like
    Brock Beauchamp got a reaction from Strombomb for an article, Twins Daily Community Awards: 2021 First Half   
    We expect to give these awards out a few times a year, provided we don’t become distracted by something else that seems more fun, or maybe we just get bored and wander off. We’ll cross that bridge when it comes.
    To be semi-serious for a moment, we at Twins Daily appreciate the conversation and great content you all provide the Twins community every single day. It’s awesome to see this site bigger and better than ever as we approach our tenth (wait, what?) birthday next February. Without all of your great content, this site would be nothing more than John Bonnes and Nick Nelson sitting in a bar arguing how to spell “Chris Parmelee” and both of them getting it wrong. While we have a great stable of writers to give the community a platform and topics on which to speak, it’s the community that fills the second half of Twins Daily and, unlike most of the second half of the internet, reading the great output of this community isn’t an embarrassment to all mankind.
    Okay, enough of that. Without further ado…
    Top Post of the First Half of the 2021 Season goes to…
    @Old Twins Cap
    In the middle of June, when all of us were reaching a low point of our Twins fandom, Old Twins Cap stood up and pronounced that not only is this season rather pathetic, any chance of winning a World Series ever is basically gone. We’re doomed, our Twins fandestiny only to bring us more sorrow and heartbreak for all eternity.
    Sadly, he’s probably not wrong.
    https://twinsdaily.com/forums/topic/51892-game-recap-twins-7-mariners-2/?tab=comments#comment-1046436
    For this post, Old Twins Cap received the most likes of the first half of the 2021 season, rendering his bite-sized entry the top post of the first half!
    As a prize, he is awarded an autographed Rocco Baldelli rookie card. Look at cute wittle Wocco. He’s adorable. Keep this card close to your heart always, Old Twins Cap.

    Blog Post of the First Half of the 2021 Season goes to…
    @Greglw3
    Taking a very straightforward, nuts-and-bolts approach to blogging, Greglw3 is light on the words, heavy on the imagery, and wholly capturing our hearts with this blog entry. Not settling to convince us who is the best Twins leftfielder of all time, Greg instead asked us to convince him of the best leftfielder of all time. Some might call this approach lazy, I call it efficient.
    https://twinsdaily.com/blogs/entry/23049-who-is-twins-best-lf-of-all-time-reopened-with-3-new-choices/
    And convince we did, apparently. His blog entry gained the most views and comments of the first half, winning him the blog post of the first half award! To celebrate this achievement, he will receive a rookie card for the Best Twins Leftfielder of All Time (a commanding victory), Bob Allison! We’d also like to congratulate Bob for being very good at the baseball and the extraordinary baseballing he performed in his baseball career of baseballing.

    Collectin’ Those Likes
    @USAFChief
    With a whopping 2,541 reputation points in the first half of the season, our dear ol’ moderator Chiefie received the most likes and attention of anyone on Twins Daily! That’s a good thing, I hear!
    Sorry, Chief, you get no prize other than our hammering away at that like button whenever we see one of your posts. I hope that helps put food on your table. We’re on a shoestring budget here, we can only do so much. Better luck next time.
    Collectin’ (About Half as Many of) Those Likes
    @ashbury
    At 1,375 reputation points, ashbury was next in line behind chief and also gets no prize!
    And those are our awards for the first half of the 2021 season. No matter how painful this season seems, remember that there's a cottage industry of Minnesota Sports Therapists, just use the coupon code "wide left" to activate your personal pain point.
    Thank you one and all for everything you do here at Twins Daily. It’s truly an honor (and a lot of fun) to build and maintain the website that so many of you visit every single day to talk Minnesota Twins and how painful it is to be a sports fan in this god-forsaken state of ours.
    And remember, we have a fantastic community hidden behind the front page here at Twins Daily. I highly recommend you check out our forums and our community blog and interact with some of these great folks. Jump into the conversation with us anytime, everyone is welcome.
    Until next time!
  5. Like
    Brock Beauchamp got a reaction from operation mindcrime for an article, Twins Daily Community Awards: 2021 First Half   
    We expect to give these awards out a few times a year, provided we don’t become distracted by something else that seems more fun, or maybe we just get bored and wander off. We’ll cross that bridge when it comes.
    To be semi-serious for a moment, we at Twins Daily appreciate the conversation and great content you all provide the Twins community every single day. It’s awesome to see this site bigger and better than ever as we approach our tenth (wait, what?) birthday next February. Without all of your great content, this site would be nothing more than John Bonnes and Nick Nelson sitting in a bar arguing how to spell “Chris Parmelee” and both of them getting it wrong. While we have a great stable of writers to give the community a platform and topics on which to speak, it’s the community that fills the second half of Twins Daily and, unlike most of the second half of the internet, reading the great output of this community isn’t an embarrassment to all mankind.
    Okay, enough of that. Without further ado…
    Top Post of the First Half of the 2021 Season goes to…
    @Old Twins Cap
    In the middle of June, when all of us were reaching a low point of our Twins fandom, Old Twins Cap stood up and pronounced that not only is this season rather pathetic, any chance of winning a World Series ever is basically gone. We’re doomed, our Twins fandestiny only to bring us more sorrow and heartbreak for all eternity.
    Sadly, he’s probably not wrong.
    https://twinsdaily.com/forums/topic/51892-game-recap-twins-7-mariners-2/?tab=comments#comment-1046436
    For this post, Old Twins Cap received the most likes of the first half of the 2021 season, rendering his bite-sized entry the top post of the first half!
    As a prize, he is awarded an autographed Rocco Baldelli rookie card. Look at cute wittle Wocco. He’s adorable. Keep this card close to your heart always, Old Twins Cap.

    Blog Post of the First Half of the 2021 Season goes to…
    @Greglw3
    Taking a very straightforward, nuts-and-bolts approach to blogging, Greglw3 is light on the words, heavy on the imagery, and wholly capturing our hearts with this blog entry. Not settling to convince us who is the best Twins leftfielder of all time, Greg instead asked us to convince him of the best leftfielder of all time. Some might call this approach lazy, I call it efficient.
    https://twinsdaily.com/blogs/entry/23049-who-is-twins-best-lf-of-all-time-reopened-with-3-new-choices/
    And convince we did, apparently. His blog entry gained the most views and comments of the first half, winning him the blog post of the first half award! To celebrate this achievement, he will receive a rookie card for the Best Twins Leftfielder of All Time (a commanding victory), Bob Allison! We’d also like to congratulate Bob for being very good at the baseball and the extraordinary baseballing he performed in his baseball career of baseballing.

    Collectin’ Those Likes
    @USAFChief
    With a whopping 2,541 reputation points in the first half of the season, our dear ol’ moderator Chiefie received the most likes and attention of anyone on Twins Daily! That’s a good thing, I hear!
    Sorry, Chief, you get no prize other than our hammering away at that like button whenever we see one of your posts. I hope that helps put food on your table. We’re on a shoestring budget here, we can only do so much. Better luck next time.
    Collectin’ (About Half as Many of) Those Likes
    @ashbury
    At 1,375 reputation points, ashbury was next in line behind chief and also gets no prize!
    And those are our awards for the first half of the 2021 season. No matter how painful this season seems, remember that there's a cottage industry of Minnesota Sports Therapists, just use the coupon code "wide left" to activate your personal pain point.
    Thank you one and all for everything you do here at Twins Daily. It’s truly an honor (and a lot of fun) to build and maintain the website that so many of you visit every single day to talk Minnesota Twins and how painful it is to be a sports fan in this god-forsaken state of ours.
    And remember, we have a fantastic community hidden behind the front page here at Twins Daily. I highly recommend you check out our forums and our community blog and interact with some of these great folks. Jump into the conversation with us anytime, everyone is welcome.
    Until next time!
  6. Like
    Brock Beauchamp got a reaction from Greglw3 for an article, Twins Daily Community Awards: 2021 First Half   
    We expect to give these awards out a few times a year, provided we don’t become distracted by something else that seems more fun, or maybe we just get bored and wander off. We’ll cross that bridge when it comes.
    To be semi-serious for a moment, we at Twins Daily appreciate the conversation and great content you all provide the Twins community every single day. It’s awesome to see this site bigger and better than ever as we approach our tenth (wait, what?) birthday next February. Without all of your great content, this site would be nothing more than John Bonnes and Nick Nelson sitting in a bar arguing how to spell “Chris Parmelee” and both of them getting it wrong. While we have a great stable of writers to give the community a platform and topics on which to speak, it’s the community that fills the second half of Twins Daily and, unlike most of the second half of the internet, reading the great output of this community isn’t an embarrassment to all mankind.
    Okay, enough of that. Without further ado…
    Top Post of the First Half of the 2021 Season goes to…
    @Old Twins Cap
    In the middle of June, when all of us were reaching a low point of our Twins fandom, Old Twins Cap stood up and pronounced that not only is this season rather pathetic, any chance of winning a World Series ever is basically gone. We’re doomed, our Twins fandestiny only to bring us more sorrow and heartbreak for all eternity.
    Sadly, he’s probably not wrong.
    https://twinsdaily.com/forums/topic/51892-game-recap-twins-7-mariners-2/?tab=comments#comment-1046436
    For this post, Old Twins Cap received the most likes of the first half of the 2021 season, rendering his bite-sized entry the top post of the first half!
    As a prize, he is awarded an autographed Rocco Baldelli rookie card. Look at cute wittle Wocco. He’s adorable. Keep this card close to your heart always, Old Twins Cap.

    Blog Post of the First Half of the 2021 Season goes to…
    @Greglw3
    Taking a very straightforward, nuts-and-bolts approach to blogging, Greglw3 is light on the words, heavy on the imagery, and wholly capturing our hearts with this blog entry. Not settling to convince us who is the best Twins leftfielder of all time, Greg instead asked us to convince him of the best leftfielder of all time. Some might call this approach lazy, I call it efficient.
    https://twinsdaily.com/blogs/entry/23049-who-is-twins-best-lf-of-all-time-reopened-with-3-new-choices/
    And convince we did, apparently. His blog entry gained the most views and comments of the first half, winning him the blog post of the first half award! To celebrate this achievement, he will receive a rookie card for the Best Twins Leftfielder of All Time (a commanding victory), Bob Allison! We’d also like to congratulate Bob for being very good at the baseball and the extraordinary baseballing he performed in his baseball career of baseballing.

    Collectin’ Those Likes
    @USAFChief
    With a whopping 2,541 reputation points in the first half of the season, our dear ol’ moderator Chiefie received the most likes and attention of anyone on Twins Daily! That’s a good thing, I hear!
    Sorry, Chief, you get no prize other than our hammering away at that like button whenever we see one of your posts. I hope that helps put food on your table. We’re on a shoestring budget here, we can only do so much. Better luck next time.
    Collectin’ (About Half as Many of) Those Likes
    @ashbury
    At 1,375 reputation points, ashbury was next in line behind chief and also gets no prize!
    And those are our awards for the first half of the 2021 season. No matter how painful this season seems, remember that there's a cottage industry of Minnesota Sports Therapists, just use the coupon code "wide left" to activate your personal pain point.
    Thank you one and all for everything you do here at Twins Daily. It’s truly an honor (and a lot of fun) to build and maintain the website that so many of you visit every single day to talk Minnesota Twins and how painful it is to be a sports fan in this god-forsaken state of ours.
    And remember, we have a fantastic community hidden behind the front page here at Twins Daily. I highly recommend you check out our forums and our community blog and interact with some of these great folks. Jump into the conversation with us anytime, everyone is welcome.
    Until next time!
  7. Like
    Brock Beauchamp got a reaction from wsnydes for an article, Twins Daily Community Awards: 2021 First Half   
    We expect to give these awards out a few times a year, provided we don’t become distracted by something else that seems more fun, or maybe we just get bored and wander off. We’ll cross that bridge when it comes.
    To be semi-serious for a moment, we at Twins Daily appreciate the conversation and great content you all provide the Twins community every single day. It’s awesome to see this site bigger and better than ever as we approach our tenth (wait, what?) birthday next February. Without all of your great content, this site would be nothing more than John Bonnes and Nick Nelson sitting in a bar arguing how to spell “Chris Parmelee” and both of them getting it wrong. While we have a great stable of writers to give the community a platform and topics on which to speak, it’s the community that fills the second half of Twins Daily and, unlike most of the second half of the internet, reading the great output of this community isn’t an embarrassment to all mankind.
    Okay, enough of that. Without further ado…
    Top Post of the First Half of the 2021 Season goes to…
    @Old Twins Cap
    In the middle of June, when all of us were reaching a low point of our Twins fandom, Old Twins Cap stood up and pronounced that not only is this season rather pathetic, any chance of winning a World Series ever is basically gone. We’re doomed, our Twins fandestiny only to bring us more sorrow and heartbreak for all eternity.
    Sadly, he’s probably not wrong.
    https://twinsdaily.com/forums/topic/51892-game-recap-twins-7-mariners-2/?tab=comments#comment-1046436
    For this post, Old Twins Cap received the most likes of the first half of the 2021 season, rendering his bite-sized entry the top post of the first half!
    As a prize, he is awarded an autographed Rocco Baldelli rookie card. Look at cute wittle Wocco. He’s adorable. Keep this card close to your heart always, Old Twins Cap.

    Blog Post of the First Half of the 2021 Season goes to…
    @Greglw3
    Taking a very straightforward, nuts-and-bolts approach to blogging, Greglw3 is light on the words, heavy on the imagery, and wholly capturing our hearts with this blog entry. Not settling to convince us who is the best Twins leftfielder of all time, Greg instead asked us to convince him of the best leftfielder of all time. Some might call this approach lazy, I call it efficient.
    https://twinsdaily.com/blogs/entry/23049-who-is-twins-best-lf-of-all-time-reopened-with-3-new-choices/
    And convince we did, apparently. His blog entry gained the most views and comments of the first half, winning him the blog post of the first half award! To celebrate this achievement, he will receive a rookie card for the Best Twins Leftfielder of All Time (a commanding victory), Bob Allison! We’d also like to congratulate Bob for being very good at the baseball and the extraordinary baseballing he performed in his baseball career of baseballing.

    Collectin’ Those Likes
    @USAFChief
    With a whopping 2,541 reputation points in the first half of the season, our dear ol’ moderator Chiefie received the most likes and attention of anyone on Twins Daily! That’s a good thing, I hear!
    Sorry, Chief, you get no prize other than our hammering away at that like button whenever we see one of your posts. I hope that helps put food on your table. We’re on a shoestring budget here, we can only do so much. Better luck next time.
    Collectin’ (About Half as Many of) Those Likes
    @ashbury
    At 1,375 reputation points, ashbury was next in line behind chief and also gets no prize!
    And those are our awards for the first half of the 2021 season. No matter how painful this season seems, remember that there's a cottage industry of Minnesota Sports Therapists, just use the coupon code "wide left" to activate your personal pain point.
    Thank you one and all for everything you do here at Twins Daily. It’s truly an honor (and a lot of fun) to build and maintain the website that so many of you visit every single day to talk Minnesota Twins and how painful it is to be a sports fan in this god-forsaken state of ours.
    And remember, we have a fantastic community hidden behind the front page here at Twins Daily. I highly recommend you check out our forums and our community blog and interact with some of these great folks. Jump into the conversation with us anytime, everyone is welcome.
    Until next time!
  8. Like
    Brock Beauchamp got a reaction from USAFChief for an article, Twins Daily Community Awards: 2021 First Half   
    We expect to give these awards out a few times a year, provided we don’t become distracted by something else that seems more fun, or maybe we just get bored and wander off. We’ll cross that bridge when it comes.
    To be semi-serious for a moment, we at Twins Daily appreciate the conversation and great content you all provide the Twins community every single day. It’s awesome to see this site bigger and better than ever as we approach our tenth (wait, what?) birthday next February. Without all of your great content, this site would be nothing more than John Bonnes and Nick Nelson sitting in a bar arguing how to spell “Chris Parmelee” and both of them getting it wrong. While we have a great stable of writers to give the community a platform and topics on which to speak, it’s the community that fills the second half of Twins Daily and, unlike most of the second half of the internet, reading the great output of this community isn’t an embarrassment to all mankind.
    Okay, enough of that. Without further ado…
    Top Post of the First Half of the 2021 Season goes to…
    @Old Twins Cap
    In the middle of June, when all of us were reaching a low point of our Twins fandom, Old Twins Cap stood up and pronounced that not only is this season rather pathetic, any chance of winning a World Series ever is basically gone. We’re doomed, our Twins fandestiny only to bring us more sorrow and heartbreak for all eternity.
    Sadly, he’s probably not wrong.
    https://twinsdaily.com/forums/topic/51892-game-recap-twins-7-mariners-2/?tab=comments#comment-1046436
    For this post, Old Twins Cap received the most likes of the first half of the 2021 season, rendering his bite-sized entry the top post of the first half!
    As a prize, he is awarded an autographed Rocco Baldelli rookie card. Look at cute wittle Wocco. He’s adorable. Keep this card close to your heart always, Old Twins Cap.

    Blog Post of the First Half of the 2021 Season goes to…
    @Greglw3
    Taking a very straightforward, nuts-and-bolts approach to blogging, Greglw3 is light on the words, heavy on the imagery, and wholly capturing our hearts with this blog entry. Not settling to convince us who is the best Twins leftfielder of all time, Greg instead asked us to convince him of the best leftfielder of all time. Some might call this approach lazy, I call it efficient.
    https://twinsdaily.com/blogs/entry/23049-who-is-twins-best-lf-of-all-time-reopened-with-3-new-choices/
    And convince we did, apparently. His blog entry gained the most views and comments of the first half, winning him the blog post of the first half award! To celebrate this achievement, he will receive a rookie card for the Best Twins Leftfielder of All Time (a commanding victory), Bob Allison! We’d also like to congratulate Bob for being very good at the baseball and the extraordinary baseballing he performed in his baseball career of baseballing.

    Collectin’ Those Likes
    @USAFChief
    With a whopping 2,541 reputation points in the first half of the season, our dear ol’ moderator Chiefie received the most likes and attention of anyone on Twins Daily! That’s a good thing, I hear!
    Sorry, Chief, you get no prize other than our hammering away at that like button whenever we see one of your posts. I hope that helps put food on your table. We’re on a shoestring budget here, we can only do so much. Better luck next time.
    Collectin’ (About Half as Many of) Those Likes
    @ashbury
    At 1,375 reputation points, ashbury was next in line behind chief and also gets no prize!
    And those are our awards for the first half of the 2021 season. No matter how painful this season seems, remember that there's a cottage industry of Minnesota Sports Therapists, just use the coupon code "wide left" to activate your personal pain point.
    Thank you one and all for everything you do here at Twins Daily. It’s truly an honor (and a lot of fun) to build and maintain the website that so many of you visit every single day to talk Minnesota Twins and how painful it is to be a sports fan in this god-forsaken state of ours.
    And remember, we have a fantastic community hidden behind the front page here at Twins Daily. I highly recommend you check out our forums and our community blog and interact with some of these great folks. Jump into the conversation with us anytime, everyone is welcome.
    Until next time!
  9. Like
    Brock Beauchamp got a reaction from dbminn for an article, Twins Daily Community Awards: 2021 First Half   
    We expect to give these awards out a few times a year, provided we don’t become distracted by something else that seems more fun, or maybe we just get bored and wander off. We’ll cross that bridge when it comes.
    To be semi-serious for a moment, we at Twins Daily appreciate the conversation and great content you all provide the Twins community every single day. It’s awesome to see this site bigger and better than ever as we approach our tenth (wait, what?) birthday next February. Without all of your great content, this site would be nothing more than John Bonnes and Nick Nelson sitting in a bar arguing how to spell “Chris Parmelee” and both of them getting it wrong. While we have a great stable of writers to give the community a platform and topics on which to speak, it’s the community that fills the second half of Twins Daily and, unlike most of the second half of the internet, reading the great output of this community isn’t an embarrassment to all mankind.
    Okay, enough of that. Without further ado…
    Top Post of the First Half of the 2021 Season goes to…
    @Old Twins Cap
    In the middle of June, when all of us were reaching a low point of our Twins fandom, Old Twins Cap stood up and pronounced that not only is this season rather pathetic, any chance of winning a World Series ever is basically gone. We’re doomed, our Twins fandestiny only to bring us more sorrow and heartbreak for all eternity.
    Sadly, he’s probably not wrong.
    https://twinsdaily.com/forums/topic/51892-game-recap-twins-7-mariners-2/?tab=comments#comment-1046436
    For this post, Old Twins Cap received the most likes of the first half of the 2021 season, rendering his bite-sized entry the top post of the first half!
    As a prize, he is awarded an autographed Rocco Baldelli rookie card. Look at cute wittle Wocco. He’s adorable. Keep this card close to your heart always, Old Twins Cap.

    Blog Post of the First Half of the 2021 Season goes to…
    @Greglw3
    Taking a very straightforward, nuts-and-bolts approach to blogging, Greglw3 is light on the words, heavy on the imagery, and wholly capturing our hearts with this blog entry. Not settling to convince us who is the best Twins leftfielder of all time, Greg instead asked us to convince him of the best leftfielder of all time. Some might call this approach lazy, I call it efficient.
    https://twinsdaily.com/blogs/entry/23049-who-is-twins-best-lf-of-all-time-reopened-with-3-new-choices/
    And convince we did, apparently. His blog entry gained the most views and comments of the first half, winning him the blog post of the first half award! To celebrate this achievement, he will receive a rookie card for the Best Twins Leftfielder of All Time (a commanding victory), Bob Allison! We’d also like to congratulate Bob for being very good at the baseball and the extraordinary baseballing he performed in his baseball career of baseballing.

    Collectin’ Those Likes
    @USAFChief
    With a whopping 2,541 reputation points in the first half of the season, our dear ol’ moderator Chiefie received the most likes and attention of anyone on Twins Daily! That’s a good thing, I hear!
    Sorry, Chief, you get no prize other than our hammering away at that like button whenever we see one of your posts. I hope that helps put food on your table. We’re on a shoestring budget here, we can only do so much. Better luck next time.
    Collectin’ (About Half as Many of) Those Likes
    @ashbury
    At 1,375 reputation points, ashbury was next in line behind chief and also gets no prize!
    And those are our awards for the first half of the 2021 season. No matter how painful this season seems, remember that there's a cottage industry of Minnesota Sports Therapists, just use the coupon code "wide left" to activate your personal pain point.
    Thank you one and all for everything you do here at Twins Daily. It’s truly an honor (and a lot of fun) to build and maintain the website that so many of you visit every single day to talk Minnesota Twins and how painful it is to be a sports fan in this god-forsaken state of ours.
    And remember, we have a fantastic community hidden behind the front page here at Twins Daily. I highly recommend you check out our forums and our community blog and interact with some of these great folks. Jump into the conversation with us anytime, everyone is welcome.
    Until next time!
  10. Haha
    Brock Beauchamp reacted to RandBalls Stu for an article, NASA: Newly Discovered Asteroid Will ‘Definitely’ Land on Byron Buxton   
    When NASA astronomer Steve Bland observed a new asteroid hurtling through space earlier this month, he was alarmed. The object was clearly on a path that would send it directly towards Earth. “Obviously, that’s a nightmare scenario,” said Bland. “Even a relatively small object could wreak havoc on the impact area.”
    Further study relieved Bland and his co-workers when it was determined that the asteroid, named 2021 SB, would disintegrate rapidly upon entering the planet’s atmosphere. However, there was one note of concern.
    “Just from following the course it’s travelling through our solar system, there is zero doubt in my mind that it’s definitely going to land on top of Minnesota Twins center fielder Byron Buxton,” said Bland.
    It’s estimated that 2021 SB will be the size of a golf ball once it reaches Buxton and will likely end its grand celestial journey on his throwing shoulder or right big toe.
    “I can’t say I’ve ever seen anything like this before,” admitted Bland. "Most asteroids do not target individuals."
    The Twins say they’ve been notified by NASA of the situation.
    “It’s not an existential threat to all human life but Byron is for sure going to be out indefinitely,” said Twins manager Rocco Baldelli. “We spoke with Byron and he’s as disappointed as we are.”
    Officials say the asteroid will likely reach Buxton immediately after his left hand is fully healed from the fracture suffered during Monday’s game versus Cincinnati.
    “2021 SB actually appeared to slow down on Monday evening,” said Bland. “It was on pace to get here on Wednesday but now looks like it’s taking its sweet time. Yes, that’s unusual.”
    Although Bland didn’t want to speculate on the actual date, time, and location, sources close to the team say they expect the space object to injure Buxton on his first day back with the Twins or on a St. Paul rehab assignment when he’s signing autographs for impressionable young children.
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