https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/page/42/?d=1News: Minnesota Twins Satireenhttps://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/wait-ryan-lamarre-is-on-the-twins-again-and-he39s-starting-r8402/I’ve done some Googling, and there are definitely stories saying that the Twins reacquired him from Atlanta, but I’ve also seen stories on those “deepfake” videos that make you think Bill Hader is Tom Cruise, and the latter honestly seems more likely. Someone would have said something. Not to brag...8402Fri, 13 Sep 2019 11:10:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/authorities-religious-leaders-ask-for-perspective-when-panicking-about-jose-berrios-r8363/“I’m going to use the same voice and same words I use at elementary school programs,” said Hennepin County Emergency Management spokesperson Carolyn Marinan. “Only call 911 in case of emergency. If you lose your math homework, that’s not an emergency. If the water fountain is broken, that’s not an...8363Fri, 06 Sep 2019 11:00:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/vegas-releases-odds-on-next-byron-buxton-injury-r8329/These are the current odds on the next mishap that will send Buxton to the injured list. Bruised ribs 3-2 Separated shoulder 2-1 Concussion, baseball-derived 5-2 Runningintoawallatfullspeed-itis 3-1 Killer bees 7-2 Concussion, struck-by-errant-Kirk Cousins-pass-while-attending-Vikings-game-de...8329Fri, 30 Aug 2019 11:53:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/experts-say-twins-squirrel-following-familiar-path-r8293/“I saw social media blow up again last night,” said Dr. Katie Freberg, Associate Professor of Small/Medium Animal Studies at Bethel University. “I wasn’t surprised. No one should be.” Freberg says the squirrel, who reps say prefers to go by Gabriel Thee Squirrel or GTS, is following the example of...8293Wed, 21 Aug 2019 11:35:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/give-up-cleveland-now-the-invincible-twins-have-a-rally-squirrel-r8292/https://twitter.com/cjzero/status/1163990505140752385?s=20 Clearly shaken, the White Sox responded with the perfect counter strategy: they hit Jorge Polanco to load the bases with two outs. This year, the Twins had hit just .170 in that situation. But even the bases-loaded curse couldn’t stop the...8292Wed, 21 Aug 2019 04:54:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/texan-is-murdered-by-high-a-in-%E2%80%98god-bless-america%E2%80%99-r8276/The Rangers started the seventh inning stretch last night with a rousing rendition of “God Bless America.” This guy went for it, really belting it out, but got a little carried away at the end when he made the bold choice to go for the high A on the last note. And choked. Literally. Poor guy...8276Sun, 18 Aug 2019 13:54:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/pennant-race-coping-mechanisms-for-the-average-fan-r8262/Here, then, are a few helpful tips to make it through to October. Get a dog. Rex needs to go out. You need to clear your head when the starter goes 3 2/3 innings. Take him for a good long walk. Don’t check Gameday on your phone. Take in the evening. When you get back, maybe things will be better....8262Fri, 16 Aug 2019 11:32:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/a-brief-history-of-other-randy-dobnaks-r8233/Mechanic who lets you know that this is going to be pretty expensive and it’s going to take a while. Your dad’s best friend from high school who your mom Does. Not. Like. He has a Grand Am and a girlfriend 20 years his junior named Ashlynne. Keeps Tommy Bahama in business. Wears cologne to funer...8233Fri, 09 Aug 2019 12:44:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/guy-who-was-in-all-day-meeting-thursday-walking-around-like-everything%E2%80%99s-fine-r8196/Patrick Seivert exited the Nicollet Suite at the Minneapolis Convention Center at 5 pm on Thursday like an idiot, per multiple sources. “I have no idea why he’s smiling,” said Rebecca Todd, one of Seivert’s co-workers and a fellow diehard Twins fan. “Oh my god, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know.” S...8196Fri, 02 Aug 2019 11:18:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/twins-surprised-season-still-happening-r8150/The Twins, who in previous seasons of competence or better made it to the playoffs only to meet their demise at the hands of the Yankees, were said to be pleasantly surprised by this turn of events. “A lot of us are new here, but you hear about the Yankee problem from guys who’ve been here awhile,...8150Fri, 26 Jul 2019 11:00:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/cleveland-starts-3-game-series-against-team-of-only-babies-r8113/Minnesota's mild slump over the last month has coincided with a Cleveland surge. Terry Francona's team has feasted on the worst of the worst in Major League Baseball, narrowing the gap in the AL Central to a mere four games. That easy stretch shows no signs of abating, as Major League Baseball ann...8113Fri, 19 Jul 2019 11:00:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/minnesota-sports-fan-unable-to-choose-between-panic-dread-r8079/Ted Harju, 48, spent the All-Star break like a lot of Twins fans: enjoying the midsummer classic, getting projects done on his free weeknights, and alternating between feelings of wall-climbing panic and mild, existential dread. “I’ve been a Minnesota sports fan my entire life,” said Harju, who wo...8079Fri, 12 Jul 2019 12:23:00 +0000