https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/page/40/?d=1News: Minnesota Twins Satireenhttps://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/get-to-know-and-meet-actor-producer-and-musician-thomas-nicholas-r8963/Thomas Nicholas has quite the crazy schedule. Last weekend he was in Detroit for an event. This coming weekend, he will be performing at Outtakes Bar and Grill in New Hope on Saturday night and at the Heavy on Wrestling event on Sunday in Duluth. He’s had an acting career that has now spanned over...8963Wed, 12 Feb 2020 14:56:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/local-contrarian-eager-to-find-fault-with-however-this-trade-turns-out-r8943/Barry Daniel has had a skip in his step and a song in his heart since Tuesday night’s bombshell announcement of a trade that would send Twins prospect Brusdar Graterol to the Red Sox, with Dodgers starting pitcher Kenta Maeda coming to Minnesota in return. “The minute I heard that, I got on the in...8943Fri, 07 Feb 2020 13:13:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/hear-me-out-it%E2%80%99s-time-for-junior-ortiz-boulevard-r8909/One of the highest honors local sports heroes can garner is getting a block or two stretch of a city street named after them. We have a lot of roads in this state that could use some Hall of Fame or World Series luster. Think of how much better that back-up at the Lowry Tunnel would be if you were...8909Fri, 31 Jan 2020 11:11:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/local-man-torn-on-right-shirsey-for-social-function-r8876/“It’s usually a cut-and-dried decision,” said the Shakopee native. “But I’ll be honest with you, I’m in a real pickle here.” For the uninitiated, a shirsey is a t-shirt styled like a baseball jersey, with a team logo in front and a player name and number on the back. Parker estimates he has “40-50...8876Fri, 24 Jan 2020 08:00:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/5-songs-that-should-be-added-to-the-target-field-playlist-for-new-twins-slugger-josh-donaldson-r8860/Now that the Minnesota Twins officially have Josh Donaldson, the bringer of rain himself, on the 2020 roster it is time to think about the real important stuff. What are some great in stadium songs that need to be played with such a man joining the Bomba squad? Here are five songs that should be c...8860Mon, 20 Jan 2020 05:00:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/garbage-can-whacker-needed-for-major-league-baseball-team-in-houston-r8850/As I write this, the sanitation team is here fixing a little alignment I made with our trash compactor. I wish you had booked them and had gotten the correct drumbeat nailed down before this 3-game series versus the Dodgers and I could have spent more time on, like, Twitter or something.   We can’...8850Fri, 17 Jan 2020 12:00:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/ron-gardenhire-thinks-these-jeopardy33-bozos-don%E2%80%99t-know-a-damn-thing-about-baseball-r8815/Jeopardy!’s prime time Tournament of Champions has found a lot of fans this week, with one notable exception with local ties. “The heck is a game show on at night for anyway,” asked former Twins manager Ron Gardenhire. “Phrase that in the form of a question.” The Detroit Tigers skipper was looking...8815Fri, 10 Jan 2020 13:33:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/talking-yourself-into-homer-bailey-and-rich-hill-a-primer-r8789/Still, it’s a good month and a half until pitchers and catchers report, and absent a Josh Donaldson signing or a franchise-altering trade, you have a grim winter stretch ahead of you. You’ll need to start talking yourself into Bailey and Hill being the saviors this rotation so desperately needs. H...8789Fri, 03 Jan 2020 05:00:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/grown-man-asks-santa-claus-for-starting-pitching-r8768/“You know how in some department stores at the mall they have a little table and mailbox for writing letters to Santa,” said Moen. “I didn’t see an age limit sign anywhere, so I grabbed a blue crayon and got to work.” Moen, who admits that he was previously very skeptical of the portly saint’s exi...8768Fri, 27 Dec 2019 12:00:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/suggestions-for-attracting-free-agents-to-the-minnesota-twins-r8750/Put some good-ass snacks in the dish at the front desk. You know how when you go to a bigshot corporate office the receptionist has a bowl of, like, Jolly Ranchers or Life Savers at the main desk? Oh. Great. Thanks. But how about when it’s like whole candy bars or cold Gatorade or chicken fingers...8750Fri, 20 Dec 2019 13:50:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/the-five-stages-of-twins-free-agency-grief-r8726/DENIAL (Twins fans on Monday): “They’re not really going to stand pat. They’re playing the long game. Those guys know what they’re doing, and they have a plan. They know there are holes to fill, they know the money is there to fill them, and they’ll improve what is already a playoff team into some...8726Fri, 13 Dec 2019 13:08:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/local-uncle-eager-to-blame-quiet-twins-offseason-on-joe-mauer-r8699/[NOTE: This was written prior to reports of a possible Michael Pineda deal. Please ignore that for the purposes of these locally-made, handcrafted jokes.] “He just had a post on Facebook that said ‘Bet the Pohlads had a balloon payment due to Mauer but good luck getting the media to report it’ or...8699Fri, 06 Dec 2019 13:00:00 +0000