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<rss version="2.0"><channel><title>News: Minnesota Twins Satire</title><link>https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/page/28/?d=1</link><description>News: Minnesota Twins Satire</description><language>en</language><item><title>Choose Your Own Trade Deadline Adventure</title><link>https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/choose-your-own-trade-deadline-adventure-r12773/</link><description>&#xA0;




	DID THE TWINS MAKE A MOVE?




	
		IF NO: Standing pat gives us every indication that the Twins hope the rotation&#x2019;s slump ends, Kenta Maeda saves the bullpen, and the offense does the rest. I&#x2019;m skeptical! THE END
	 
	
		IF YES: DID THE TWINS TRADE FOR A STARTING PITCHER
		
			
				IF YES:...</description><guid isPermaLink="false">12773</guid><pubDate>Fri, 29 Jul 2022 10:40:12 +0000</pubDate></item><item><title>Bremer Uses Long All-Star Break to Get Mickey Hatcher Face Tattoo</title><link>https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/bremer-uses-long-all-star-break-to-get-mickey-hatcher-face-tattoo-r12737/</link><description>&#xA0;




	Fans tuning in to Bally Sports North for Saturday&#x2019;s Twins/Tigers tilt might notice a difference. Not on the field, but off.




	Dick Bremer, the veteran broadcaster who has handled play-by-play duties for the Minnesota Twins since 1983, revealed that he got a full-face tattoo paying trib...</description><guid isPermaLink="false">12737</guid><pubDate>Fri, 22 Jul 2022 10:50:08 +0000</pubDate></item><item><title>Minnesota&#x2019;s Big Second Half Move Revealed: Keep Tony La Russa Employed</title><link>https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/minnesota%E2%80%99s-big-second-half-move-revealed-keep-tony-la-russa-employed-r12674/</link><description>&#xA0;




	With obvious needs like bullpen depth and another starting pitcher staring them in the face, sources familiar with the Twins front office say they have a singular focus headed into the All-Star break:




	The godless Chicago White Sox. In particular, the manager&#x2019;s job security.




	Tony...</description><guid isPermaLink="false">12674</guid><pubDate>Fri, 15 Jul 2022 12:00:10 +0000</pubDate></item><item><title>Dozens Injured as Twins Bullpen Attempts to Prepare Salad</title><link>https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/dozens-injured-as-twins-bullpen-attempts-to-prepare-salad-r12634/</link><description>&#xA0;




	Thursday&#x2019;s off day provided the Minnesota Twins with some much-needed downtime, including their annual Summer Potluck. But the charcuterie turned to carnage when members of the Twins bullpen botched their dish, injuring dozens in the clubhouse.




	&#x201C;We had a real nice spread laid out,&#x201D; s...</description><guid isPermaLink="false">12634</guid><pubDate>Fri, 08 Jul 2022 10:40:23 +0000</pubDate></item><item><title>Experts: Twins Letting Cleveland Win All These Games Might Backfire</title><link>https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/experts-twins-letting-cleveland-win-all-these-games-might-backfire-r12589/</link><description>&#xA0;




	In an otherwise positive season for the Minnesota Twins, one troublesome negative stands out: They keep letting the Cleveland Guardians baseball team win games they oughtn&#x2019;t.




	Late-game meltdowns by the bullpen in general and Emilio Pagan in specific have flipped the result of five re...</description><guid isPermaLink="false">12589</guid><pubDate>Fri, 01 Jul 2022 11:05:10 +0000</pubDate></item><item><title>Cleveland Finds Another Incredible Pitcher Between Couch Cushions</title><link>https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/cleveland-finds-another-incredible-pitcher-between-couch-cushions-r12542/</link><description>&#xA0;




	Cleveland&#x2019;s surprise surge to the top of the AL Central has left both fans and media types grasping for an explanation. A weak division with the projected winner struggling. A farm system that&#x2019;s been exceptional at identifying and developing talent. MVP work from Jose Ramirez. And finding...</description><guid isPermaLink="false">12542</guid><pubDate>Fri, 24 Jun 2022 09:30:11 +0000</pubDate></item><item><title>How Will Alex Kirilloff Immediately Hurt Himself?</title><link>https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/how-will-alex-kirilloff-immediately-hurt-himself-r12504/</link><description>&#xA0;




	Royce Lewis showed incredible promise when he finally got the call to join an injury-ravaged Minnesota Twins squad this spring. He played so well there was an almost universal demand to bring him back from Triple-A St. Paul when he got sent down, regardless of what position he would play....</description><guid isPermaLink="false">12504</guid><pubDate>Fri, 17 Jun 2022 10:50:08 +0000</pubDate></item><item><title>Locals React to Wednesday Rout of Yankees</title><link>https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/locals-react-to-wednesday-rout-of-yankees-r12463/</link><description>Jimmy Trueheart, Young Child with Fear and Distant Wonder in His Eyes: Papa told me that sometimes good things happen to bad people. When we beat the Yankees to death and left them screaming on the side of a gravel road on Wednesday night, I asked Papa, &#x201C;Are we the bad people now?&#x201D; Papa said, &#x201C;N...</description><guid isPermaLink="false">12463</guid><pubDate>Fri, 10 Jun 2022 11:15:00 +0000</pubDate></item><item><title>Worst Doctor We Can Find Thinks Unvaccinated Twins Are Getting a Raw Deal</title><link>https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/worst-doctor-we-can-find-thinks-unvaccinated-twins-are-getting-a-raw-deal-r12424/</link><description>Multiple unvaccinated Twins players must sit out this weekend&#x2019;s series in Toronto due to Canada&#x2019;s COVID policies. While the medical community almost universally hails the efficacy of the vaccines, the worst doctor we could find thinks the Twins are getting a raw deal.




	Dr. Gary Van Lowe, a r...</description><guid isPermaLink="false">12424</guid><pubDate>Fri, 03 Jun 2022 11:50:00 +0000</pubDate></item><item><title>Local Contrarian Baffled by Slumping Buxton</title><link>https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/local-contrarian-baffled-by-slumping-buxton-r12379/</link><description>Unlikable Chaska man Barry Daniel is stumped.




	It seems like only yesterday that Daniel was irritating his co-workers and a Dunn Bros. barista by loudly proclaiming that Byron Buxton can&#x2019;t be an MVP, because MVPs play every day.




	&#x201C;He came in here, looked at someone reading the sports sec...</description><guid isPermaLink="false">12379</guid><pubDate>Fri, 27 May 2022 10:30:06 +0000</pubDate></item><item><title>Twins Fans Absolutely Furious at Surprise First Place Start</title><link>https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/twins-fans-absolutely-furious-at-surprise-first-place-start-r12345/</link><description>&#xA0;




	With the Minnesota Twins holding a surprisingly sturdy lead in the American League Central, it&#x2019;s no wonder that the team&#x2019;s fans have some strong words about their unexpected success.




	&#x201C;It is absurd to me that they treat Byron Buxton with kid gloves,&#x201D; said Hank Winters, 67, a retired b...</description><guid isPermaLink="false">12345</guid><pubDate>Fri, 20 May 2022 11:00:03 +0000</pubDate></item><item><title>Twins Place Entire 40-Man Roster on Injured List</title><link>https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/twins-place-entire-40-man-roster-on-injured-list-r12307/</link><description>&#xA0;




	Injuries are having a major impact across baseball, as teams scramble to field healthy rosters and make constant transactions with their minor league affiliates. No team has been more affected than the Minnesota Twins, who announced Thursday that they are placing their entire 40-man roste...</description><guid isPermaLink="false">12307</guid><pubDate>Fri, 13 May 2022 09:50:05 +0000</pubDate></item></channel></rss>
