https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/page/24/?d=1News: Minnesota Twins Satireenhttps://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/royce-lewis-teaches-minnesotans-to-love-again-r14342/One year after tearing his ACL for the second time, Twins top prospect Royce Lewis has returned with a vengeance, keying two major victories against division rivals Cleveland and defending champion Houston. Perhaps more importantly, he’s let a long-suffering, repressed, emotionally exhausted fan...14342Fri, 02 Jun 2023 14:34:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/man-who-calls-in-sick-for-hangovers-wonders-why-correa-wont-play-through-stabbing-pain-of-plantar-fasciitis-r14290/Carlos Correa was already slumping. And the diagnosis of an arch strain and plantar fasciitis lends credence to the theory that he was playing through pain. Luke Kelso is having none of it. “When you sign a $200 million deal, you play through nicks and cuts,” said Kelto, who took a sic...14290Fri, 26 May 2023 11:21:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/what-is-the-al-central-most-like-r14250/Going into the season, the consensus was that the American League Central would be average at best and that only two or three teams had a realistic shot at clearing the very attainable bar of winning it. That negativity has, if anything, proven overly optimistic. The godless Chicago White S...14250Fri, 19 May 2023 06:03:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/mlb-storyline-creators-reject-2023-twins-season-as-too-unrealistic-r14210/Veteran Twins fans are used to patchwork rotations. They’re accustomed to competent, sometimes even brilliant, offenses. Sun rises in the east, sun sets in the west, early-to-middle of the order is pretty good, the third starter is Sidney Ponson for some reason. This shopworn narrative is...14210Fri, 12 May 2023 10:35:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/satan-%E2%80%98pleased-with-white-sox-r14168/Satan, the Dark Prince and Enemy of All That Is Good, couldn’t have been happy with the godless Chicago White Sox, his loyal subjects here on Earth. A brutal 10-game losing streak and a rash of injuries sent the most unlikable team in baseball plummeting to the bottom of the American League stan...14168Fri, 05 May 2023 11:15:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/mlb-apologizes-to-yankees-r14123/In a rare move for Major League Baseball, the league issued a formal apology to the New York Yankees on Thursday. “We recognize that we should have done more in the recent series in Minnesota, and it will not happen again,” read the statement. “What’s done is done, and for that we’re culpab...14123Thu, 27 Apr 2023 22:21:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/pag%C3%A1n-optioned-to-spacex-r14072/In the wake of another rough outing on Thursday, the Twins announced they were optioning struggling reliever Emilio Pagán to Elon Musk’s SpaceX spacecraft manufacturing business. The move took place mere hours after the SpaceX Starship blew up in the early stages of its first launch. “We th...14072Thu, 20 Apr 2023 23:43:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/the-twinswon-r14034/Trust nothing you see on the internet. Deep fakes and AI and unreliable sources are as common as water, as the air we breathe. Cable TV, if anything, is worse. I’m telling you this because you’ve no doubt already read stories and seen video about how the Minnesota Twins jumped all over the...14034Fri, 14 Apr 2023 11:22:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/area-bozo-troubled-by-quicker-games-r13990/Many are praising the rule changes that have led 2023 Major League Baseball games to finish at a demonstrably faster pace. For others, it’s making their beloved pastime almost unrecognizable. “When I a buy a ticket, I expect to get my money’s worth,” said Anoka retiree Tom Hanson, a classic...13990Fri, 07 Apr 2023 11:17:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/chronic-overreactor-feeling-good-about-162-0-r13940/A taut, well-played road win can make any baseball fan feel good about their team. For Twins fan and chronic overreactor Shane Holman, it made him feel bulletproof. “162-0. Mark it,” said the 51-year-old idiot. Holman, who vowed to never watch another Twins game when the 1991 team star...13940Fri, 31 Mar 2023 11:36:02 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/exclusive-twins-daily-sits-down-with-the-injury-gods-r13897/With the regular season almost here, Twins Daily is proud to present this in-depth conversation with longtime Minnesota nemeses The Injury Gods. Known for their season-ending (and sometimes career-ending) work, The Injury Gods have developed quite a reputation among Twins fans. Jontu of the Pois...13897Fri, 24 Mar 2023 11:23:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/guy-who-overvalues-prospects-thinks-matt-moses-is-finally-ready-r13865/It’s the age-old baseball debate: Do you hold onto your prospects at all costs, or part with them in order to upgrade the current major league squad? Terry Utgaard is in the former camp. “Remember when the Tigers traded John Smoltz for Doyle Alexander,” asked the Roseville-based claims...13865Fri, 17 Mar 2023 11:12:01 +0000