https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/page/22/?d=1News: Minnesota Twins Satireenhttps://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/weird-nerd-mad-about-shutout-r14562/Twins starting pitcher Pablo Lopez was dialed in on Wednesday night, striking out 12 and allowing four meager hits in a complete game, 100-pitch shutout victory. Lifelong Twins fan Ethan Sudbury couldn’t be angrier. “It was against the Royals,” he said friendlessly. “How did it take him 100...14562Fri, 07 Jul 2023 11:23:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/new-girl-characters-ranked/The Twins are depressing right now. You read this site every day. You know this. The AL Central is actually more depressing, in that no one can do any better. I need a break from thinking about this entire enterprise. So do you. With that in mind, I’m ranking the main six characters on the...14515Fri, 30 Jun 2023 11:15:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/hater-shelves-%E2%80%98byron-suxton-tweet-until-next-slump-r14464/In the wreckage of Minnesota’s 10-4 humbling at the hands of the Boston Red Sox on Tuesday, one glimmer of hope shone through: Byron Buxton ended an epic slump with a long home run. The succeeding games have seen Buxton continue that tear, belting two more home runs and a double as the Twins cla...14464Fri, 23 Jun 2023 11:11:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/twins-keeping-kepler-in-lineup-%E2%80%98just-to-spite-gleeman-at-this-point-r14426/For a Twins offense that’s struggled mightily in 2023, Max Kepler has set the pace, a pace he’s arguably been setting for years. His replacement-level performance has been well-documented in the media, most notably by The Athletic’s Aaron Gleeman. Not once. Not twice. Let’s just say frequently....14426Fri, 16 Jun 2023 11:15:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/t-ball-tee-notches-first-big-league-victory-over-twins-r14378/The Tampa Bay Rays were in a jam on Thursday when starting pitcher Yonny Chorinos was a late scratch. With a quick afternoon turnaround following a night game, Tampa opted to give the bullpen a rest and turned to the Jugs A0400 Hit Like a Pro Batting Tee to take on the struggling Minnesota Twins...14378Fri, 09 Jun 2023 10:11:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/royce-lewis-teaches-minnesotans-to-love-again-r14342/One year after tearing his ACL for the second time, Twins top prospect Royce Lewis has returned with a vengeance, keying two major victories against division rivals Cleveland and defending champion Houston. Perhaps more importantly, he’s let a long-suffering, repressed, emotionally exhausted fan...14342Fri, 02 Jun 2023 14:34:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/man-who-calls-in-sick-for-hangovers-wonders-why-correa-wont-play-through-stabbing-pain-of-plantar-fasciitis-r14290/Carlos Correa was already slumping. And the diagnosis of an arch strain and plantar fasciitis lends credence to the theory that he was playing through pain. Luke Kelso is having none of it. “When you sign a $200 million deal, you play through nicks and cuts,” said Kelto, who took a sic...14290Fri, 26 May 2023 11:21:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/what-is-the-al-central-most-like-r14250/Going into the season, the consensus was that the American League Central would be average at best and that only two or three teams had a realistic shot at clearing the very attainable bar of winning it. That negativity has, if anything, proven overly optimistic. The godless Chicago White S...14250Fri, 19 May 2023 06:03:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/mlb-storyline-creators-reject-2023-twins-season-as-too-unrealistic-r14210/Veteran Twins fans are used to patchwork rotations. They’re accustomed to competent, sometimes even brilliant, offenses. Sun rises in the east, sun sets in the west, early-to-middle of the order is pretty good, the third starter is Sidney Ponson for some reason. This shopworn narrative is...14210Fri, 12 May 2023 10:35:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/satan-%E2%80%98pleased-with-white-sox-r14168/Satan, the Dark Prince and Enemy of All That Is Good, couldn’t have been happy with the godless Chicago White Sox, his loyal subjects here on Earth. A brutal 10-game losing streak and a rash of injuries sent the most unlikable team in baseball plummeting to the bottom of the American League stan...14168Fri, 05 May 2023 11:15:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/mlb-apologizes-to-yankees-r14123/In a rare move for Major League Baseball, the league issued a formal apology to the New York Yankees on Thursday. “We recognize that we should have done more in the recent series in Minnesota, and it will not happen again,” read the statement. “What’s done is done, and for that we’re culpab...14123Thu, 27 Apr 2023 22:21:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/pag%C3%A1n-optioned-to-spacex-r14072/In the wake of another rough outing on Thursday, the Twins announced they were optioning struggling reliever Emilio Pagán to Elon Musk’s SpaceX spacecraft manufacturing business. The move took place mere hours after the SpaceX Starship blew up in the early stages of its first launch. “We th...14072Thu, 20 Apr 2023 23:43:01 +0000