https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/page/18/?d=1News: Minnesota Twins Satireenhttps://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/with-tv-rights-in-flux-twins-close-target-field-to-spectators-and-media-r16118/The Minnesota Twins are on their longest winning streak since 2008. They have a goofy home run celebration. They’re back in town for a seven-game homestand. And thanks to a groundbreaking front office initiative, you’ll be able to harness the power of your imagination to enjoy the rest of the se...16118Fri, 03 May 2024 10:16:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/breaking-twins-name-rally-sausage-as-teams-third-hitting-coach-r16107/In an unprecedented move, the Minnesota Twins are adding a fourth hitting coach to their uniformed squad, making it the meatiest trio in Major League Baseball. The club announced that their beloved Rally Sausage is being promoted to this new role after inspiring the Twins’ hitters over their rec...16107Thu, 02 May 2024 19:08:02 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/do-not-feel-bad-for-the-chicago-white-sox-r16066/It’s come to the attention of Twins Daily that the Chicago White Sox are pathetic. Real chumps. A startling collection of losebags. Watching them gift-wrap a series sweep for the struggling, injury-ravaged Minnesota Twins, even when the Twins seemed perfectly willing to give them a game or...16066Fri, 26 Apr 2024 11:20:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/struggling-twins-force-baseball-scientists-to-lower-mendoza-line-r16028/In response to the Minnesota Twins’ horrific start on offense, leading baseball scientists have been forced to lower the Mendoza Line for the first time since its creation in 1979. “While a .200 batting average has long been considered the benchmark for offensive ineptitude, circumstances c...16028Fri, 19 Apr 2024 10:25:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/twins-promote-controversial-mascot-prospect-ozempig-option-struggling-tc-bear-to-triple-a-r16019/After a shaky start to the season by the Twins, the team’s top brass made a move to bring in some fresh meat. It was announced earlier today that OzemPig, the team’s top mascot prospect, would be taking over as the club’s primary cheerleader for the time being. The incumbent, TC Bear, is going d...16019Thu, 18 Apr 2024 15:19:02 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/twins-apologize-for-new-sing-a-long-song-r15980/When Minnesota Twins Communications/Marketing/PR Director Dustin Morse put the call out on social media for Target Field sing-a-long suggestions, it seemed like a fun idea for audience participation. “This kind of filth has no place in the public sphere, let alone Target Field,” said Tom Ha...15980Fri, 12 Apr 2024 10:29:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/metrodome-opening-day-2024-a-twins-daily-alternate-history-r15936/Hope springs eternal. Except for your Minnesota Twins. On a gorgeous April day, the local nine dropped their seventh consecutive home opener under a Teflon sky, falling 8-1 to the defending AL West champion Portland Devil Rays before an announced crowd of 11,341 at the MyPillow Metrodome. T...15936Fri, 05 Apr 2024 10:31:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/target-field-scoreboard-operator-hopes-to-re-establish-w%C3%BCnderkind-reputation-after-challenging-2023-campaign-r15890/“They just kept coming, man. I was getting bombarded with snags left and right,” said Woody Cunningham, the former top-ranked scoreboard operator at the collegiate level who signed a multi-year deal with the Twins in 2022. “Have you ever seen that movie The Birds? It was like the phone booth sce...15890Mon, 01 Apr 2024 14:20:02 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/opening-day-traditions-for-every-mlb-team-r15896/The pageantry. The pomp. The horse poop. Opening Day brings special sights, sounds, and smells to all 30 ballparks each spring. Let's take a tour of the league's treasured traditions. AL CENTRAL Detroit Tigers: Instead of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” fans sing along to Khia’s “My Neck,...15896Fri, 29 Mar 2024 12:15:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/local-idiot-surprised-by-rash-of-twins-pitching-injuries-r15863/Pitching is inherently an injury risk. The human body is not meant to do that. That’s why the news this week that Jhoan Durán, Caleb Thielbar, and Anthony DeSclafani would all start the season on the injured list (and in DeSclafani’s case, potentially stay there all season) disappointed many, bu...15863Fri, 22 Mar 2024 10:17:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/season-ticket-holders-on-tap-to-manage-apartment-building-with-bert-blyleven-r15834/The 2024 Twins Pass went on sale Thursday, allowing fans standing room access to every Twins home game (minus the opener) for $59/month. For the first time, this fan-favorite deal also included a $20/month upgrade called Twins Pass Plus. Purchasers get all the benefits of the basic deal, with th...15834Fri, 15 Mar 2024 10:18:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/fifth-starter-conversation-turns-to-chestnut-r15808/With Anthony DeSclafani’s health a question mark and Louie Varland potentially earmarked for St. Paul, the Minnesota Twins might need a fifth starter as Opening Day looms. Unsigned big names like Blake Snell would be obvious solutions, but Minnesota’s self-imposed price controls make that unlike...15808Fri, 08 Mar 2024 11:27:02 +0000