https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/page/18/?d=1News: Minnesota Twins Satireenhttps://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/twins-prepping-audra-martin-to-make-pivotal-start-against-guardians-r16771/The Twins are hoping to put their best foot forward against their first-place rivals this weekend, and in doing so, they are turning to the sideline. Sources within the clubhouse have all but confirmed that sideline reporter Audra Martin will make a start against the Cleveland Guardians, which w...16771Thu, 08 Aug 2024 12:18:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/twins-to-hang-2024-financial-prudence-championship-banner-sunday-r16738/While much has been written about the Minnesota Twins’ relative inactivity at the trade deadline and during the 2023-24 offseason, very little has been said about the financial benefits they’re reaping. “Even with the lack of television revenue and lower attendance than we projected, the nu...16738Fri, 02 Aug 2024 12:21:29 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/twins-trying-to-trade-their-contingent-of-beat-writers-interest-tepid-at-best-r16713/While many are hoping for the Twins to make a splash on the trade market before the 5 PM deadline Tuesday, the club might be content to merely shed some of the expense coming from their press box. While none of the beat writers are actually under contract with the team, it isn’t stopping the clu...16713Tue, 30 Jul 2024 12:10:21 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/twins-establish-gofundme-for-trade-deadline-r16684/The Minnesota Twins are in a bind. Despite an excellent chance at another playoff bid, the team needs a starting pitcher, and possibly a lefty reliever. But with TV revenue slashed, attendance numbers below projections, and ownership’s self-imposed frugality, the money just isn’t there to add pa...16684Fri, 26 Jul 2024 14:10:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/joe-mauer-critic-support-group-attendance-surges-as-he-is-inducted-into-hall-of-fame-r16649/It was a beautiful day for Twins fans as baseball’s Hall of Fame prepared for the induction of Joe Mauer into its hallowed list of the game’s mightiest heroes. But not everyone celebrated as St. Paul’s native son made history.  A support group for Mauer’s staunchest critics was created in D...16649Sun, 21 Jul 2024 15:31:02 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/white-sox-fans-enjoy-fleeting-sense-of-happiness-before-season-resumes-r16634/The godless Chicago White Sox had abysmal expectations heading into 2024. They spent the season’s first half unable (and some would argue unwilling) to clear even that low bar. Owning a 27-71 record and sitting a staggering 32.5 games out of first place, the South Siders are a masterclass in inc...16634Fri, 19 Jul 2024 10:24:02 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/how-to-talk-to-your-children-about-joe-ryan-heaving-talcum-powder-into-his-pants-r16580/Local parents and guardians (the regular kind, not the weird Cleveland kind) expressed concern this week, as a video clip surfaced of Minnesota Twins pitcher/smokeshow Joe Ryan going to town on his nether regions with a container of talcum powder in the dugout. “I was watching the game with...16580Fri, 12 Jul 2024 12:09:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/injury-gods-%E2%80%98have-an-eye-on-brooks-lee-r16533/One would think piling another injury upon Royce Lewis would be enough to satisfy The Injury Gods in their ceaseless vendetta against the Minnesota Twins. One would be wrong. Per sources close to Jontu of the Poison Wind, Cnathol the Endless, and other timeless beings, the promotion of...16533Fri, 05 Jul 2024 12:18:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/report-twins-%E2%80%9Caggressively%E2%80%9D-shopping-tc-bear-as-mlb-trade-deadline-approaches-r16521/The Twins are hoping this trade deadline will be a bear market--that is, a good market for shopping their bear. It’s not often that a franchise will explore the idea of trading someone who has been with their organization for 24 seasons, especially when they find themselves in contention. B...16521Thu, 04 Jul 2024 12:20:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/congress-votes-to-shut-down-cleveland-guardians-until-we-can-all-figure-out-whats-going-on-r16485/In a rare show of bipartisan unity, the U.S. House and Senate voted overwhelmingly Thursday to put an indefinite halt to all Cleveland Guardians baseball activities. This move comes after a nationwide groundswell of demand for Congress to do something about the AL Central-leading Guardians,...16485Fri, 28 Jun 2024 10:20:02 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/max-kepler-loses-arm-insists-he-shouldnt-need-injured-list-stint-r16463/In a stunning development in recent days, Max Kepler revealed to his manager Rocco Baldelli that he has a little nagging pain in his left arm, mostly due to the fact that it was torn clean off his torso over the weekend. But even more stunning (though not exactly surprising given the subjec...16463Wed, 26 Jun 2024 13:06:02 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/local-contrarian-struggles-to-hate-royce-lewis-r16439/Unlikable Chaska man Barry Daniel finds himself at a crossroads. In the past, he’s been able to mount spectacularly annoying and disingenuous arguments about Minnesota sports and athletes with ease. From “Joe Mauer fakes concussions for sympathy” to “The Minnesota Wild logo is quality desig...16439Fri, 21 Jun 2024 18:06:02 +0000