https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/page/14/?d=1News: Minnesota Twins Satireenhttps://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/varland-ditches-first-name-altogether-to-go-by-unique-symbol-like-prince-r17804/The pitcher formerly known as Louie—then (briefly) Louis—Varland is changing his name yet again. But instead of going by another variation of his birth name, or a middle name, or even a nickname, the 27-year-old will henceforth be known as “🝄” Varland.  You read that right. Just like his bo...17804Thu, 20 Feb 2025 13:17:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/record-number-of-twins-players-arrive-in-best-shape-of-their-lives-r17788/A shocking development has surfaced as the Minnesota Twins report to Fort Myers for spring training. Every single player has arrived in the best shape of their lives. That’s right, folks. The Twins are in such pristine condition that local Florida gyms have reported an unprecedented shortage of...17788Mon, 17 Feb 2025 18:03:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/three-hospitalized-with-ty-france-fever-r17775/Although it’s hardly a deluge, the pace of the Minnesota Twins’ offseason activity has picked up noticeably. And while this comes as a delight to a fanbase starving for news, local hospitals say that fans should be aware of the downside risks. “We’re advising every Twins fan to stay off the...17775Fri, 14 Feb 2025 14:14:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/twins-find-just-enough-change-in-pohlad-couch-cushions-to-make-a-few-cute-signings-r17763/Twins POBABO Derek Falvey didn’t think he would have a cent to spend on the 2025 roster, at least one that went above their roughly $130 million payroll last season. But all that changed when he had the brilliant idea to shake out some of the outgoing furniture cushions that belonged to his boss...17763Wed, 12 Feb 2025 13:21:00 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/twins-ask-critics-to-apologize-to-danny-coulombe-harrison-bader-in-person-r17741/The Minnesota Twins finally ended their long, long period of offseason inactivity, signing relief pitcher Danny Coulombe and outfielder Harrison Bader on Tuesday and Wednesday this week. Although far from marquee acquisitions, they both fill necessary roles, as a lefty bullpen arm and fourth out...17741Fri, 07 Feb 2025 13:20:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/minnesota-twins-hoarding-canadian-players-to-beat-new-tariffs-r17725/In a move that has left economists scratching their heads and baseball executives chuckling into their Tim Hortons coffee, the Minnesota Twins moved to head off possible U.S.-Canada trade tariffs in the most Minnesotan way possible: by hoarding Canadian baseball players, like a survivalist prepp...17725Tue, 04 Feb 2025 19:08:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/twins-leave-wallet-at-home-again-r17700/In what has become an ongoing storyline this offseason, the Minnesota Twins once again forgot their wallet at home after going out with friends, per multiple sources with knowledge of the incidents. Twins Daily has confirmed that this is at least the third time since the end of the 2024 sea...17700Fri, 31 Jan 2025 14:10:02 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/disappointed-blogger-forced-to-return-bootleg-twins-roki-sasaki-jersey-r17673/It was always a longshot for Minnesota to become the new home for 23-year-old phenom Roki Sasaki, but a local Twins blogger is now feeling the full weight of yet another dream lost to the dreaded Los Angeles Dodgers. The premier international free agent announced his new club last weekend,...17673Sun, 26 Jan 2025 12:15:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/other-universally-beloved-things-non-ichiro-voter-finds-lacking-r17670/The legendary Ichiro Suzuki was overwhelmingly elected to Baseball’s Hall of Fame on Tuesday, nabbing all but one of the 550 votes needed to make it a unanimous decision. The lone holdout, who remains anonymous, didn’t want to discuss their vote, but did respond to Twins Daily’s request for opin...17670Fri, 24 Jan 2025 13:12:02 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/twins-fest-signature-saturday-to-feature-nothing-but-accountants-consultants-r17638/The annual Twins Fest extravaganza is next weekend at The Fillmore, hard by Target Field in Minneapolis. As is tradition, Saturday is dedicated to the autograph hounds in Twins Territory, with children and their adults hoping to snag a signed baseball or glossy photograph from their favorite pla...17638Fri, 17 Jan 2025 14:08:02 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/local-shock-jock-seeks-to-purchase-twins-r17596/With the news that the Minnesota Twins may very well have a new owner by Opening Day, speculation has turned toward potential suitors. The Ishbia brothers, owners of the Phoenix Suns, have already confirmed their interest. And now another name has surfaced—one with longtime local ties. Dana...17596Thu, 09 Jan 2025 13:23:01 +0000https://twinsdaily.com/news-rumors/just-for-fun/twins-to-decide-starting-first-baseman-with-traditional-72-hour-conclave-r17588/As the calendar flipped to 2025, the Minnesota Twins still found themselves without a true heir to their first base position. But by the sacred covenant brought forth by the player-development cardinals in the 17th Olympiad, the team will make its official selection via a 72-hour conclave, where...17588Tue, 07 Jan 2025 15:24:01 +0000