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  • sat·ire | (/ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/) | noun
    the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

    Man Who Calls in Sick for Hangovers Wonders Why Correa Won’t Play Through Stabbing Pain of Plantar Fasciitis


    RandBalls Stu

    “Players are just soft these days,” he said from his couch.

    Image courtesy of Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

    Twins Video

    Carlos Correa was already slumping. And the diagnosis of an arch strain and plantar fasciitis lends credence to the theory that he was playing through pain.

    Luke Kelso is having none of it.

    “When you sign a $200 million deal, you play through nicks and cuts,” said Kelto, who took a sick day on Friday after “going super hard” at the late-night Buffalo Wild Wings happy hour on Thursday. “Plus he’s a veteran! You’ve got a lot of young guys on that team who look up to him.”

    Plantar fasciitis is described by those who’ve experienced it as the worst pain of their lives, comparing it to knitting needles being driven into your heel. Kelso, who bailed on three consecutive March Mondays at his business machine sales job because Sunday Funday “with the boys” wiped him out, wonders if this is just a convenient excuse.

    “He’s been underperforming all season and all of a sudden he has an ouchie on his foot,” said the Hopkins native, who is the reason his previous employer no longer has a holiday party but does have a section on “Appropriate Items to Place on Copier” in their employee handbook. “Does he think we’re morons?”

    The recovery time varies from person to person. For some it’s a couple weeks of rest and therapy. For others, it’s an ongoing ordeal that lasts for months, even years, every step like walking on hot coals or having “razor blades at the bottom of my feet.”

    Kelso, who cut out early on Thursday and is “defo calling in on Friday if none of the bosses are around,” wants to know what happened to toughness.

    “Players are just soft these days,” he said from his couch.

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    What is it with these guys?  Foot pain - who needs feet?  Let's teach him how to do long range hand stands.  Its time to get creative - play through pain - join Kelso at the bar until the pain is gone and you are laying on your back - Luke will be there to assist. 

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    Had plantar fascitist a few years back.  In my case not only did I have pain in the foot, but it felt like I had been shot in the left butt cheek.  Lasted a few weeks with thearapy.

     

    Hope Carlos has the version that clears up after a couple weeks with therapy.  Go get you some orthotics to support your feet

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    16 minutes ago, mikelink45 said:

    What is it with these guys?  Foot pain - who needs feet?  Let's teach him how to do long range hand stands.  Its time to get creative - play through pain - join Kelso at the bar until the pain is gone and you are laying on your back - Luke will be there to assist. 

    I like this creativity.. Let me know when we figure out how to swing a bat with one's feet... without inciting the um, dreaded uh, planetary facilities is it? Does sound kinda like an astrological condition...

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    Long by thought that some injuries don’t require the disabled list! I.e sore pinky finger or sore forearm. I do think we’re coddling some of these players a little too much. The planters facitis is painful and requires some rest. Here’s a thought on the Twins performance! Maybe just (maybe) Rocco should stay with a set lineup and let the bench players be bench players. Not knowing if you’re playing or not is hard on these players.

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    At least for me, the two (plantar and 'bad' knee) have two very different types of pain; The knee, which I had to have cleaned up, looked like an underwater snow globe with the torn mensicus looking like a moray eel lurking in a bed of seaweed (torn cartilage that tries to fix itself by "growing) had that deep achy pain and the swelling just would not quit. It was more the functionality than the pain. The plantar, felt like a knife stabbing into the bottom of my foot. I don't think you could tape it up enough to keep it from stretching even just a little bit. Just excruciating. I bit the bullet and fixed it by 'completing' the tear on my basement steps and ice baths. I could play with the worst of my hangovers but they'd probably need to keep some extra infield dirt (or that red janitor's powder) handy for when my belly just said, "aaannnd we're out".

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    Plantar fasciitis really can be extremely debilitating.  You know how you get PT exercises and tail off after a while?  I have done exercises daily for years to ward off a return of plantar fasciitis.  I sure hope Correa has a mild case.

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