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  • Game Thread: Twins @ Orioles, 3/29@2:05pm CT


    Riverbrian

    I last wrote a game thread opener on October 3rd, 2017. After the conclusion of that disappointing loss to the Yankees, I turned off my brain for the off-season. All this week, I’ve known that I will have to crank it up again but I’m having a little trouble getting it started up after the long layoff. I know that I’ll need to pump a little fuel into the carburetor so I’ve been pushing the primer button (my nose obviously), but now I’m concerned that I’ve flooded it because I have a cold.

    Slight change to the format this year. I have run out of Cities and Towns to say strange things about so that will be replaced by a new crutch called the Top Non-Trump News Story (Or Stories) from yesterday. I’ll continue with thoughts on the Twins and their opponents. The Joe M conversation will remain… I didn’t get enough complaints to stop doing it. And, as usual, a random thought #5.

    Anyway… I hope you are all primed for the start of a brand new season. It’s still March so we are starting a little early. Don’t push the big red primer button unless you are ready. Expectations are high… as of right now… it is still mathematically possible that the Twins go 162-0.

    1. Top Non-Trump News Story (Or Stories) from Yesterday:

    Rosanne returned to broadcast television on ABC Tuesday Night with back to back episodes and the show was welcomed by 18 million viewers. NBC quickly noticed the ratings and has decided to cash in on the nostalgia wave by ordering 10 Episodes of H.R. Pufnstuf.

    It was reported that Russian Double Agent Sergei Skripal and his daughter may have been victims of door poisoning. Russia has come a long way since Rasputin; they have been practicing the poisoning of Doors technique since 1969. It wasn’t fatal back then but it did produce a severe lack in judgement which resulted in “The Soft Parade”.

    2. Our Twins:

    The Twins are not overwhelmingly strong in any department but they are not overwhelmingly weak in any department, and for the first time… since… ever… the Twins have enough starting pitching depth where they don’t have to tolerate sub-par performances from anybody. They have a stable of arms in Rochester that can take over for injuries or struggles, this also applies to the bullpen. At the plate, I’ve seen lineup projections from experts with Buxton in the 8 spot in the order and this suggests a level of batting depth that we haven’t seen in sometime. Now those are what I call deep thoughts.

    3. The Orioles:

    It’s kind of funny… not many people were giving the Orioles a shot during the off season. I was listening and the experts were talking about not knowing who the 3, 4 and 5 starters would be, the injury to closer Zach Britton, and the inevitable loss of important free agents after the conclusion of 2018. The experts were strongly suggesting an immediate rebuild was necessary. Then the Orioles sign Alex Cobb and now those same experts are saying the Orioles could earn a wild card spot. I’ve heard my wife talk to her sister on the phone about me and I seem to have that same type of range.

    4. Today’s Joe M Conversation:

    Morgan: I think Opening Day should be a National Holiday.

    McCarthy: Yeah… nobody should have to work on such an important day.

    Mauer: I agree… then I wouldn’t have to play today. I’d get the day off.

    Maddon: Yeah… and I wouldn’t have to manage today.

    Montana: Guys… think about it… if you both take today off… what would be reason for the rest of us taking the day off?

    (Long Thoughtful Pause)

    Maddon: He’s right… we are going to have to work during a national holiday.

    Mauer: This really sucks. Why do we even have a players' union?

    Car Alarms:

    A car alarm was going off in the parking lot at work yesterday. I looked around the office and nobody got up to turn it off, nobody claimed responsibility and the alarm kept going off. It must have been 15 minutes before I decided the only thing to do was to go outside and help what turned out to be the world’s slowest car thief actually steal the car so he could drive off and take the sound with him.

    ____________________

    Lineups:

    TWINS

    Brian Dozier (R ) 2B

    Joe Mauer (L) DH

    Miguel Sano (R ) 3B

    Eddie Rosario (L) LF

    Logan Morrison (L) 1B

    Eduardo Escobar (S) SS

    Max Kepler (L) RF

    Byron Buxton (R ) CF

    Jason Castro (L) C

    Jake Odorizzi (R ) P

    ORIOLES

    Chris Davis(L) 1B

    Manny Machado(R ) SS

    Jonathan Schoop(R ) 2B

    Adam Jones(R ) CF

    Trey Mancini(R ) LF

    Tim Beckham(R ) 3B

    Pedro Alvarez(L) DH

    Craig Gentry(R ) RF

    Caleb Joseph(R ) C

    Dylan Bundy (R ) P

    Weather: 65 deg F, mostly cloudy with a 15% chance of rain, winds at 7mph from the SE

    Win Twins! Play ball!

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    A car alarm was going off in the parking lot at work yesterday. I looked around the office and nobody got up to turn it off, nobody claimed responsibility and the alarm kept going off. It must have been 15 minutes before I decided the only thing to do was go outside and help what turned out to be the world’s slowest car thief; actually steal the car so he could drive off and take the sound with him.

     

    Click here to view the article

    You should have waited a little longer. Helping the thief steal your car may make it tougher to collect insurance.

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    What is Molly thinking?  That's the strangest lineup I ever saw!   

    Omg!  Why isn't he pinch hitting here?  Come on, man, this is Baseball 101!

    Holy moley, I'm lovin' me some Odor-Easy!  What a great pickup!

    Chicken!  Chicken!  Chicken Dinnah!!!!  Woo hoooo!!!!!

     

     

     

    Sorry, guys, the game comes on at 3AM Hong Kong time, I'm just getting my comments in early, before I go to bed.

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    What is Molly thinking? That's the strangest lineup I ever saw!

    Omg! Why isn't he pinch hitting here? Come on, man, this is Baseball 101!

    Holy moley, I'm lovin' me some Odor-Easy! What a great pickup!

    Chicken! Chicken! Chicken Dinnah!!!! Woo hoooo!!!!!

     

     

     

    Sorry, guys, the game comes on at 3AM Hong Kong time, I'm just getting my comments in early, before I go to bed.

    You forgot one...

     

    Seriously? They're bunting?!

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    What is Molly thinking?  That's the strangest lineup I ever saw!   

    Omg!  Why isn't he pinch hitting here?  Come on, man, this is Baseball 101!

    Holy moley, I'm lovin' me some Odor-Easy!  What a great pickup!

    Chicken!  Chicken!  Chicken Dinnah!!!!  Woo hoooo!!!!!

     

     

     

    Sorry, guys, the game comes on at 3AM Hong Kong time, I'm just getting my comments in early, before I go to bed.

    I hope you wake up to good news! :)

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    Good news/bad news.

     

    Bad news: I have looked forward to this day for three months - maybe longer. Then three days ago I learned I have a family obligation to attend this afternoon.

     

    The good news; the obligation will be held at a sports bar and grill during happy hour!!!!!!!!

     

    Christmas in March!!!!!!!!

    Fried pickles, beer, and baseball... Can't beat it!

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    If RB gets the opening day nod, does that mean he’s the game thread ace, or does it mean that the true ace just wants to game thread in Puerto Rico?

    Also, am I crazy or should Buxton bat 8th instead of 9th, to avoid clogging bases in front of him and help turn the lineup over. A simple “Yes” will suffice.

     

    RB - The Jake Odorizzi of Twins Daily.

     

    Man, I hope Odorizzi's performance is not reflective of Brian's today.

     

    Kidding, well done!

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