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Local Fan’s Sigh Over Yankees/Astros Series Lasts 47 Seconds

“I thought he would pass out,” said one concerned co-worker.

Image courtesy of © Thomas Shea-USA TODAY Sports

With both League Championship Series underway, local baseball fans can thrill to the unexpected National League matchup between the Philadelphia Phillies and San Diego Padres. A pleasant reminder that the biggest payrolls or markets don’t always guarantee postseason glory, the first two games have been tense and entertaining.

There’s also the ALCS.

“Man, I don’t know,” said Brian Allmendinger, 44, a Medina-based systems analyst and lifelong Twins fan, responding to a question about the matchup between the New York Yankees and Houston Astros. “I just…man.” Allmendinger excused himself to smoke a cigarette.

Allmendinger’s co-workers are concerned.

“When New York eliminated Cleveland, he sighed for 47 seconds,” said Alexis Wolff. “We timed it. I’ll be honest with you, I thought he would pass out.”

“His face turned beet red and he just kept shaking his head real slowly,” said Mateo Gutierrez. “I think we were all a little worried about him.”

“He doesn’t even smoke,” added Wolff.

With Minnesota’s postseason nemesis in the Bronx facing scandal-marred Houston, it’s tough for many Twins partisans to find a rooting interest.

“Hate is a strong word,” said Allmendinger. “Needlessly throwing it around devalues the concept and the emotion. It's cruel and ultimately harmful. With that being said, I hate the Yankees and Astros. I don’t want them to lose. I want them to lose and suffer.”

Given that one of those teams has to advance, Allmendinger was asked if he had a preference for one or the other to lose.

“It’s just that…god,” said Allmendinger, his head in his hands. “I can’t…I don’t. I can’t.”

Allmendinger excused himself, saying he left something in this car. He didn’t return to finish the interview, but was observed sitting in his Ford Fiesta, staring straight ahead. The radio wasn’t on. Darkness fell.

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I can empathize with Allmendinger. I've spent more time watching Japanese beetles on my back deck than I have watching the ALCS. Starting to name the little buggers. Interesting to note several seem more resistant to bug spray than others triggering a fear I may be creating a super race of Japanese beetles. Given they have a genetic ninja ability we could soon be in a world of hurt... almost as painful as watching the Twins tank a division lead.

Who's playing by the way?

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