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21 New Year's Resolutions for the 2021 Twins


The weirdest and worst year in recent memory is finally coming to an end. This is the time when we make breakable, unrealistic promises about how we’ll turn into the brightest new leaf on January 1st, only to crash into an abyss of disappointment by February 1st. However, given this is 2020, anything can happen, including manifesting 21 realistic resolutions that we hope the Twins can stick to in the upcoming year.1. Win a playoff game


“She Will Be Loved” by Maroon 5 was at the top of the charts the last time the Twins won a playoff game.


2. Keep Josh Donaldson’s calves healthy through at least 100 games


Donaldson played in 28 games last season, but it felt more like 8. His absence was most felt during the most critical portions of the season, including the playoffs. The Twins need to find a healthy balance to his and a possible utility’s playing time to ensure that he is available and productive in 2021 if they want to meet their first resolution.


3. Revitalize Jorge Polanco’s numbers after ankle surgery (and painful 2020)


According to the Associated Press, Polanco ended his season by hitting .167 in his last 15 games. Polanco was an All-Star in 2019, winning that honor over Francisco Lindor.


4. Keep in touch with Nelson Cruz


Just to see if he’s having a good offseason...among other things.


5. Also keep in touch with Marcus Semien


We hope he’s doing well too.


6. Might as well keep in touch with Michael Brantley and Marcell Ozuna too


They might like a nice holiday card.


7. Prevent sophomore slump for Ryan Jeffers


Jeffers literally stepped up to the plate this season. While Garver struggled in one of the worst sophomore slumps in recent memory, the rookie provided solid offense and well-seasoned defense. Jeffers has only seen AL Central pitching, so while his sophomore slump may be delayed to 2022, early adjustments can ensure his continued productivity even as pitchers adjust to him.


8. Cultivate Mitch Garver’s ultimate comeback


GarvSauce was more GarvGravy last season, and his right intercostal strain didn’t help. While we can list all of his statistical drops this past season, it’s more important to keep in mind that Garver *was* that guy in 2019. The Silver Slugger will not allow this season to repeat without a fight. Besides, his hard-hit rate, exit velocity, and a healed intercostal muscle can give Twins fans a glimmer of hope in the upcoming season.


9. A no-hitter for Kenta Maeda


The man was THREE OUTS away.


10. Extend the closer role into a closer rotation


Taylor Rogers struggled last season, posting a career high 4.05 ERA. As we know, Rogers’ effectiveness greatly decreases if he is used on consecutive days. While Tyler Duffey is the clear choice for a second closer, he’s often used in a high leverage situation prior to the ninth. The Twins need more options instead of continuing the overuse of Rogers. Jorge Alcala and Hansel Robles are two viable options.


11. Make room for the next generation of the Twins


The biggest storylines in baseball this year were dominated by rookies, like the baby Blue Jays and Fernando Tatis Jr. Here in Minnesota, many of the Twins’ top prospects will likely become everyday players. Ryan Jeffers is here, Alex Kiriloff will likely take over Eddie Rosario’s role, and Brent Rooker’s flexibility will boost his playing time. Aside from these three, we may also see appearances from Royce Lewis, Trevor Larnach, Jhoan Duran, and Jordan Balazovic. The Twins have a great problem on their hands.


12. Secure an arm to join the likes of Kenta Maeda, Jose Berrios, and Michael Pineda


I hear a guy whose last name sounds like “over-easy” is on the market.


13. Check in with the Dodgers


It seems that the Dodgers now have a formidable opponent in their division that they may want to become more competitive against. How convenient that both Kenta Maeda and Brusdar Graterol had great seasons with their new clubs.


14. Also check in with the Cubs and Rays…..


They may have a few more cards up their sleeves that they’re looking to deal...


15. Fulfill Byron Buxton’s destiny as AL MVP


Byron Buxton is a five-tool player who has all the qualities needed to be an MVP. However, every time fans think he’s finally put the pieces together, he’s set back by another injury. If this final piece can fall into place, Buxton will be the first Twin since Joe Mauer to win this honor.


16. Re-establish leadership in the clubhouse, given the potential loss of almost all veterans including Nelson Cruz, Sergio Romo, Rich Hill, and Trevor May


Nelson Cruz served as a father figure to Miguel Sano in the clubhouse. Rich Hill was there to comfort Edwar Colina after a poor performance. A veteran presence can’t be quantified, and its importance isn’t always properly recognized.



17. Figure out Randy Dobnak’s future role, either as a fifth starter or a long reliever


He was on the short list for Rookie of the Year for a period of time. While his usage diminished as players started to sink his sinker, this can’t be the end for Dobnak. Besides, remember when Tyler Duffey, Trevor May, and Taylor Rogers were starters?


18. Cheaper beverages at the stadium for fans


…..why not


19. A much anticipated breakout season for Jose Berrios and his four-seamer


Year after year, baseball analysts have predicted that this will finally be Berrios’ breakout year. His four-seamer is frequently ranked as one of the best in baseball. While Berrios has always been good, he hasn’t quite filled his potential of greatness. Maybe this season will finally be the long awaited breakout year that’s been waiting in the wings.


20. Keep players healthy and safe through next year, given the continued uncertainty from the ongoing pandemic


21. ​Win a playoff game


*In Rose Dawson’s voice* It’s been 16 years.


What other resolutions do the Twins need to make next season? Comment below!


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