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Article: Local Man Allows Himself to Dream of Above Ground Pool, One of the Nice Ones, For a Solid Minute


RandBalls Stu
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Brent Amberg's $50 bet on the World Series, made on a whim at a Las Vegas casino, grew microscopically closer to reality on Thursday. He'll take it.As he sat under a fluorescent light in his windowless Apple Valley insurance office Thursday, Amberg tracked the Twins home opener on his phone while pretending to text clients.

 

"My buddies and I were out in Vegas for the Super Bowl, and I had a good run at blackjack my first day there," said Amberg. "I walked past the sports book on the way to my room, saw the Twins at 33-1 to win the World Series, and put $50 on them. I absolutely and completely took it in the shorts the rest of the weekend.

 

"I could have really used that $50," he added. He declined to go into detail.

 

Minnesota's no-nonsense dispatch of division champion Cleveland allowed Amberg an entire minute to build a version of the world where his impulse wager on the Twins paid off in full.

 

"The minute (Taylor) Rogers struck out the last batter, I put my phone down, took the slip out of my wallet, felt the paper between my thumb and forefinger, and thought about one of those above ground pools," said the Glencoe native. "Not those lousy blue ones that always look like they're about to collapse and have dead squirrels in 'em. A really sturdy one. Put it in the backyard, give the kids something to do outside instead of dicking around on the tablets all day. Man."

 

Amberg confirmed that when the minute was up, he put the slip away, went to the break room, drank some water, and stared out the window at the employee parking lot for an undetermined amount of time.

 

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Great article!  Made me laugh!

 

Some kind of article like this should be written about the new "Boomstick".  That is an irresponsible amount of food for one human being to say the least.  We had four people chowing on one for the better part of the game.  I skipped supper last night and breakfast this morning.  Still not hungry.

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Great article!  Made me laugh!

 

Some kind of article like this should be written about the new "Boomstick".  That is an irresponsible amount of food for one human being to say the least.  We had four people chowing on one for the better part of the game.  I skipped supper last night and breakfast this morning.  Still not hungry.

What the heck is a Boomstick? My imagination is filling in the gaps unfavorably.

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Those cheap bucket pools are just booby traps for puppies, kittens, squirrels, possums, fawns, bear cubs, and raccoons. 

 

On the other hand, you toss in some taters, carrots, a little Louisiana hot sauce, light a little fire... that's mighty good eatin' for just pennies!

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