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Some Additional Ways to Enjoy Twins Games In a Rebulding Year

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#1 Teflon

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:18 AM

  • Rationalize that at least half of the players in the game are still of major-league quality unless the Royals are in town.


  • Bring some additional friends to the game. (If the friends are Jack Daniels or Johnnie Walker, all the better.)


  • Text the Twins’ in-game Twitter account to ask them why they are continuing to let TC Bear roam around the ballpark without any pants.


  • See who can find the most look-alikes for famous persons’ heads in your bag of peanuts. (Richard Nixon doesn’t count as most peanuts already look like Nixon.)


  • Take a walking tour of the Warehouse District to spot all the lamp post banners still featuring ex-Twins.


  • Apply a new SABRmetric stat of your own making that rates Twins players on how well they “get after it.”


  • Ask the nearby hottie in the Joe Mauer jersey if she realized there’s both a ME and U in Mauer.


  • For early April games, bring a Lean Cuisine to cook on your head under one of the industrial heat lamps in the concourse.

#2 70charger

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:39 PM

Ask the nearby hottie in the Joe Mauer jersey if she realized there’s both a ME and U in Mauer.


Well done, sir.