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Ten signs that 2013 might be another 90-loss season for the Twins

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#1 Teflon

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Posted 24 December 2012 - 09:34 AM

10. Additional drink rails added in RF allowing fans to drown greater number of sorrows

9. The only MLB team premium-pricing Twins games on a 2013 schedule is the Twins.

8. Doctors seeking additional 2013 rehab opportunities for Minny’s and Paul’s atrophying elbow joints.

7. Most popular member of 2013 Twins caravan is driver, Lou, who does tricks with false teeth.

6. Mauer’s once Sampson-like sideburns continue to mysteriously recede.

5. Daffodils atop of outfield fences are removed after Twins batters complain they are interfering with potential homeruns.

4. In a season-long promotion, Twins honor 40th anniversary of 1973 team that went 81-81.

3. Paul Molitor to check with Twins before taking any extended vacations this summer.

2. Kevin Correia

1. No additional bulbs requisitioned by stadium maintenance for middle three letters of T-W-I-N-S scoreboard sign.

#2 Riverbrian

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Posted 24 December 2012 - 09:41 AM

Well Done.

Even my Half Full sensibility laughed.

#3 one_eyed_jack

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Posted 24 December 2012 - 10:02 AM

Excellent work. I laughed as well, though it was tenuous laughter as this veered a little too close to the truth at times.

I think we'll probably need a sense of humor to get through 2013.

But one never knows. Look at Vikings this year. Everyone thought they'd be bad. I can't tell you how many people told me in August that they looked at the schedule and couldn't see anything better than a 4-12 finish. Yet here they are in a win-and-they're-in situation next Sunday.

#4 TheLeviathan

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Posted 24 December 2012 - 11:20 AM

Didn't get enough Nick Blackburn? Well then you won't be able to wait for 2013!

#5 James

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Posted 24 December 2012 - 01:39 PM

I have to admit that I laughed at this one. 2013 probably won't be kind to the Twins, but hopefully we start to see some of the new guys start to come up and give us hope for 2014. Well done on the list.

You can come up with statistics to prove anything. Forty percent of all people know that.


#6 NoCryingInBaseball

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Posted 24 December 2012 - 02:10 PM

I laughed, I cried....it became a part of me....

#7 greengoblinrulz

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Posted 24 December 2012 - 02:32 PM

"might"......?????

How bout, MLB will make em play 162gms!!!

#8 nicksaviking

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Posted 24 December 2012 - 04:20 PM

Good posting. I first read the headline and rolled my eyes thinking this would be a serious topic.

#9 glunn

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Posted 25 December 2012 - 02:56 AM

Well written. But I won't be surprised if the Twins lose 100 games.

#10 TopGunn#22

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Posted 25 December 2012 - 09:31 AM

I vote "Best Comment" to No Crying in Baseball...