Jump to content

Providing independent coverage of the Minnesota Twins.
Photo

BREAKING NEWS: Twins sign 4th-String Catcher

  • Please log in to reply
12 replies to this topic

#1 Diesel

Diesel

    Ft Myers Miracle

  • Member
  • 348 posts

Posted 14 January 2020 - 10:24 PM

January 15th, 2019

written by Diesel (Note: this is a satire piece inspired by many works, including RandBallStu)

The Minnesota Twins have signed catcher Josh Donaldson to a 4-year $92 million contract, pending a physical. It is expected that Donaldson’s main role will be being the third or fourth-string catcher, dependent on whether Willians Astudillo is up with the major league club.

“We are very excited to have 4 catchers available to play on any given day,” said manager Rocco Baldelli at the press conference introducing the largest free agent signing in club history. “We expect Josh (Donaldson) to pick up a few reps at third, first, and DH, but we’ve got to make sure Mitch Garver gets enough rest throughout the season. 2019 was very strenuous on the kid.”

In 2019, the now 29 year-old Garver appeared in 93 games, with now-Angels catcher Jason Castro and Astudillo also having significant workloads. “I haven’t played catcher for a few years, due to being behind some generational talents
on the depth chart, like Kurt Suzuki, Russell Martin, and Tyler Flowers.” said Donaldson.

Even as Donaldson has aged, he has belief that he can step back behind the plate after so many years playing other positions. “A couple years ago, Joe Mauer went back to playing catcher. Why can’t I?” In other news, there are currently rumors that the Twins are discussing a trade with the Indians for catcher Carlos Santana. “Catchers are known to be some of the smartest guys in the world,” stated team president Derek Falvey. “Having many catchers who can also play other positions will be key in this team’s path to a title. Joe, you can come back too if you want!”

7DF4EABB-383E-4EC0-98AF-69BB7EF1035C.jpeg
  • SQUIRREL, ashbury, nicksaviking and 12 others like this

#2 Seth Stohs

Seth Stohs

    Owner

  • Owner
  • 17,973 posts

Posted 14 January 2020 - 11:12 PM

Well played... that was great, highlighted by the photo at the end. 

  • operation mindcrime and Diesel like this

#3 Sconnie

Sconnie

    Wooo!

  • Moderator
  • 5,630 posts
  • LocationNW Wisconsin

Posted 15 January 2020 - 05:59 AM

Too funny!
  • operation mindcrime and Diesel like this

#4 Hosken Bombo Disco

Hosken Bombo Disco

    Minnesota Twins

  • Moderator
  • 12,066 posts

Posted 15 January 2020 - 07:31 AM

Replacing emergency catcher CJ Cron was not going to be cheap!

187711-11865968Fr.jpg
  • Seth Stohs, birdwatcher, gil4 and 9 others like this
He measured the achievements of others by what they had accomplished, asking of them that they measure him by what he envisaged or planned.
- J. L. Borges

#5 operation mindcrime

operation mindcrime

    Minnesota Twins

  • Member
  • 3,295 posts

Posted 15 January 2020 - 01:00 PM

Replacing emergency catcher CJ Cron was not going to be cheap!

187711-11865968Fr.jpg

CROM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Hosken Bombo Disco and Diesel like this

#6 sampleSizeOfOne

sampleSizeOfOne

    bomba stick

  • Member
  • 8,594 posts

Posted 18 January 2020 - 10:57 PM

At this rate, could we be the first team to run 9 catchers out there opening day?

I approve!

This could really catch on...
  • David HK and Diesel like this

#7 ashbury

ashbury

    Twins fan, no joke!

  • Moderator
  • 25,002 posts
  • LocationNatick, MA

Posted 19 January 2020 - 08:08 AM

At this rate, could we be the first team to run 9 catchers out there opening day?

I approve!

This could really catch on...

Could get a bit unwieldy in Spring when pitchers and catchers report.
 

  • sampleSizeOfOne and David HK like this

I'm not slurring my words, I'm talking in cursive.


#8 JD Green

JD Green

    Elizabethton Twins

  • Member
  • 38 posts
  • LocationSW Minn.

Posted 19 January 2020 - 08:52 AM

So the day pitchers and catchers report, if you aren't a pitcher, everyone else reports as a catcher?
  • ashbury and sampleSizeOfOne like this

#9 Twodogs

Twodogs

    Rochester Red Wings

  • Member
  • 1,090 posts

Posted 19 January 2020 - 09:52 AM

At this rate, could we be the first team to run 9 catchers out there opening day?

I approve!

This could really catch on...


This might explain our infield defense?? 😀
  • ashbury, gil4, David HK and 1 other like this

You cannot succeed without hate for your enemy


#10 sampleSizeOfOne

sampleSizeOfOne

    bomba stick

  • Member
  • 8,594 posts

Posted 19 January 2020 - 02:06 PM

So the day pitchers and catchers report, everyone reports as a catcher?


ftfy.

Yes.

I suppose there might be a seperate day for coaches?

#11 David HK

David HK

    Minnesota Twins

  • Member
  • 3,461 posts
  • LocationHong Kong

Posted 19 January 2020 - 06:11 PM

 

This might explain our infield defense??

Yeh. But you'd think MLBers would know not to wear the tools of ignorance out on the diamond...


#12 sampleSizeOfOne

sampleSizeOfOne

    bomba stick

  • Member
  • 8,594 posts

Posted 19 January 2020 - 06:34 PM

Actually i bet this is really stupid.

Are there rules about how close an infield can be drawn?

Can we apply hockey tactics like screening the batter so he can't see the pitch coming?

Or have someone deflect the pitch through the strike zone?

Would the tools of ignorance make a player comfortable there?

I loosely assume the pitcher is supposed to be the closest fielder, but i don't actually know...
  • Diesel likes this

#13 Diesel

Diesel

    Ft Myers Miracle

  • Member
  • 348 posts

Posted 19 January 2020 - 07:38 PM

Actually i bet this really stupid.

Are there rules about how close an infield can be drawn?

Can we apply hockey tactics like screening the batter so he can't see the pitch coming?

Or have someone deflect the pitch through the strike zone?

Would the tools of ignorance make a player comfortable there?

I loosely assume the pitcher i supposed to be the closest fielder, but i don't actually know...


According to the rule book, enough space has to be given for the batter to have a full swing, for the runner to get to first, and for the pitch to get to the catcher. So yeah, you could technically do this.