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Article: Local Contrarian Reveals ‘Twins Are Hitting Too Many Home Runs’ Take

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#21 bunt_vs_the_shift

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Posted 10 May 2019 - 11:33 AM

 

/ advice for a friend

Where can one get a fedora like that?

 

...

 

 

Asking for a friend.

 

I got mine from my drunk uncle. If you don't have a drunk uncle then you may want to check the lost and found at Chili's

 

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#22 RatherBeGolfing

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Posted 10 May 2019 - 01:06 PM

Hitting homers is so not the Twins Way! ™

 

#Piranhas 

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#23 gil4

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Posted 10 May 2019 - 01:52 PM

 

Pitch to contact until the day I die.

Gibby struck out 11 the other night.Sorry to hear of your passing.

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#24 Steve Lein

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Posted 10 May 2019 - 02:21 PM

 

Since he retired he's not getting anything anymore.

 

Detroit is still paying money to Fielder, and Justin Verlander. I don't think in Fielder's case he's getting $24MIL, but rather some deferred (or other method of) amount through at least another year.

 

Always fun to bring up that the Mets are going to be paying Bobby Bonilla through 2035, and Bret Saberhagen through 2029.

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Scouting Report: Power: 30, Hitting: 50, Arm: 60, Defense: 45, Speed: 45. "Line drive swing and shows good contact and on-base abilities. Double's power at his peak. Strong arm from 2B or the OF, stiff hands. Not a fast runner, but above average instincts on the bases. Skinny body doesn't look the part, but will sneak up on you. ACL surgery sapped much of his athleticism." (Probably)

#25 birdwatcher

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Posted 10 May 2019 - 02:21 PM

Noticed the Twins have six players with 7 or more homers, two others with 6 and 4 respectively, while the Tigers have no player with more than 3.

 

Which begs the question, how can this team possibly be only 23-17?

 

And begs the larger question of how can the Tigers possibly be 16-18?

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#26 USAFChief

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Posted 10 May 2019 - 02:26 PM

 

Noticed the Twins have six players with 7 or more homers, two others with 6 and 4 respectively, while the Tigers have no player with more than 3.

 

Which begs the question, how can this team possibly be only 23-17?

 

And begs the larger question of how can the Tigers possibly be 16-18?

By losing their next five.

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Cutting my carbs...with a pizza slicer.


#27 TFRazor

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Posted 10 May 2019 - 02:30 PM

 

Since he retired he's not getting anything anymore.

You mean his agent wasn't smart enough to get the Bobby Bonilla Special? What an amateur.


#28 jimbo92107

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Posted 10 May 2019 - 05:09 PM

Stubborn people... Reminds of of this guy I know, Charles. Terrible doubles player. Every first serve, he tries to hit an impossible angle, missing by at least four feet. Then he pops a little puffball second serve in the middle of the service box. It usually gets crushed right at his cringing partner. 

 

I asked him once why he keeps doing that, wasting his first serve.

 

"One of these days, I'm gonna ace somebody, and you'll all be sorry." 

 

Terrible doubles player. 

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The door opened. A woman screamed. Someday, my mom would learn to knock.


#29 Brock Beauchamp

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Posted 10 May 2019 - 05:12 PM

“Daniel, who is 37, unmarried, and wears a fedora to chain restaurant bars, often regales trapped employees of a local IT consulting firm with his against-the-grain takes during their half-hour lunch break.”

This is my new favorite sentence.
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#30 FlauerPauer

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Posted 10 May 2019 - 05:58 PM

 

Stubborn people... Reminds of of this guy I know, Charles. Terrible doubles player. Every first serve, he tries to hit an impossible angle, missing by at least four feet. Then he pops a little puffball second serve in the middle of the service box. It usually gets crushed right at his cringing partner. 

 

I asked him once why he keeps doing that, wasting his first serve.

 

"One of these days, I'm gonna ace somebody, and you'll all be sorry." 

 

Terrible doubles player. 

 

I once read that when choosing a doubles partner you must first think about ending that relationship. If you cannot separate emotion from skill, you will never be a successful doubles partner. 

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#31 USAFChief

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    Bad puns. That's how eye roll.

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Posted 11 May 2019 - 12:23 AM

“Daniel, who is 37, unmarried, and wears a fedora to chain restaurant bars, often regales trapped employees of a local IT consulting firm with his against-the-grain takes during their half-hour lunch break.”

This is my new favorite sentence.


BTW...you're 37, no?
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Cutting my carbs...with a pizza slicer.


#32 highlander

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Posted 11 May 2019 - 05:48 PM

LOL!!! I'm not sure what is funnier, the story or the comments.

Well played

#33 GP830

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Posted 13 May 2019 - 11:33 AM

Until you described the guy, I was picturing the old dude in the Perkins commercial who orders his pie first. 

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#34 birdwatcher

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Posted 13 May 2019 - 12:13 PM

 

Until you described the guy, I was picturing the old dude in the Perkins commercial who orders his pie first. 

 

 

That guy's old?

 

Corny for sure.

Edited by birdwatcher, 13 May 2019 - 12:13 PM.

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#35 ashbury

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Posted 13 May 2019 - 01:34 PM

Until you described the guy, I was picturing the old dude in the Perkins commercial who orders his pie first.

That guy's old?

Looks like Victor Hugo's adage needs to be updated to reflect current longevity charts: 60 is the youth of old age, while 40 is still the old age of youth. :)

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Nothing is impossible for the one who doesn't have to do the work.




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