Jump to content

Providing independent coverage of the Minnesota Twins.
Subscribe to Twins Daily Email
Photo

Article: Derek Falvey Urges Child to Pass on Bryce Harper Card

satire baseball cards logan was a great movie bryce harper derek falvey
  • Please log in to reply
61 replies to this topic

#1 RandBall's Stu

RandBall's Stu

    Elizabethton

  • Twins Writers
  • 3 posts

Posted 07 February 2019 - 11:00 PM

A young Eden Prairie boy plans to buy a Bryce Harper rookie card this weekend. One area baseball executive is hoping he can change his mind.

Jake Evenson, 10, got a $20 bill for his birthday. The young Eden Prairie baseball fanatic knows exactly what he wants, too: a Bryce Harper rookie card.“He’s my favorite player, and there’s one I can get for $15,” said Evenson. “Mom said we could buy it this weekend.”

Twins Executive Vice President and Chief Baseball Officer Derek Falvey wants him to reconsider.

“I think he should really take a wait-and-see approach to this purchase,” said Falvey. “He has a solid card collection right now. If it appreciates in value, that’s when he can strike.”

Evenson, who was pulled out of science class to take Falvey’s phone call, was confused.

“It was pretty weird. This man said I should hold onto that $20 if I needed it down the line. I’m 10. I don’t have bills. I like Bryce Harper and I can afford it.

“The last time someone got a call in my class it’s because their dad was in jail,” Evenson added.

Falvey, who said the phone call was part of the team’s new Community Outreach program, understands Evenson’s passion, but urged the youngster to take the long view.

“What if he really gets into Fortnite or comic books? At that age, your tastes are mercurial. All of a sudden, you have this Bryce Harper card that was cool at the time, but now you want to trade it in for some Claremont-era X-Men issues. Then the market isn’t there and all you can get is a cruddy Daredevil that smells like milk.”

Evenson remains adamant.

“I like Spiderman, but Mr. Falvey said he’s not an X Man. I want a Bryce Harper card because I have money and he’s awesome.”

Falvey remains convinced that he can sway the child to his way of thinking.

“Later today we’re sending T.C. Bear to Jake’s after-school program with a dozen pizzas and a personalized t-shirt cannon signed by Jonathan Schoop,” said Falvey. “If he’s still apprehensive, we’ll let him shoot the cannon at TC with whatever he wants: apples, staple guns, you name it. Don’t tell TC that.”

_____________________________________________

Twins Daily is THRILLED to welcome Randball Stu as a weekly satirical contributor.

Click here to view the article

  • Carole Keller, USAFChief, lecroy24fan and 9 others like this

#2 Kelly Vance

Kelly Vance

    Junior Member

  • Members
  • 538 posts

Posted 07 February 2019 - 11:37 PM

So this is what Falvey has been doing with his time instead of finding more good players for theTwins. 


#3 akmanak

akmanak

    Ft Myers

  • Members
  • 278 posts

Posted 08 February 2019 - 12:25 AM

This is a really stupid story and Falvey sounds like a huge creeper in it.
  • notoriousgod71, mikelink45, PDX Twin and 1 other like this

#4 markominne

markominne

    Junior Member

  • Members
  • 25 posts

Posted 08 February 2019 - 01:26 AM

OK. The off-season is now officially too long....
  • glunn, Cris E, gil4 and 4 others like this

#5 less cowbell more neau

less cowbell more neau

    Elizabethton

  • Members
  • 43 posts

Posted 08 February 2019 - 01:41 AM

Welcome, Randball's!

  • Steve Lein, USAFChief, lecroy24fan and 8 others like this

"Now, more than ever, we need the Jedi." -Bob Wilton


#6 nclahammer

nclahammer

    Cedar Rapids

  • Members
  • 68 posts

Posted 08 February 2019 - 05:01 AM

Welcome Randball Stu, love love LOVE it.

 

  • Steve Lein, USAFChief, lecroy24fan and 5 others like this

#7 rdehring

rdehring

    Chattanooga Lookouts

  • Members
  • 844 posts

Posted 08 February 2019 - 08:08 AM

Interesting seeing that Randball Stu also changed uniforms this winter!

  • Steve Lein, USAFChief, lecroy24fan and 4 others like this

#8 Carole Keller

Carole Keller

    It’s all in the eyes of the beholder.

  • Twins Mods
  • 21,869 posts

Posted 08 February 2019 - 08:16 AM

Just for a point of clarification in case a few of you missed it ... the tag line on this article reads:

 

"Twins Daily is THRILLED to welcome Randball Stu as a weekly satirical contributor."

 

Welcome, Stu!

  • USAFChief, luckylager, lecroy24fan and 6 others like this

“May we teach our children that speaking out without the fear of retribution is our culture’s new north star.” ~Laura Dern
 


#9 Mike Sixel

Mike Sixel

    Now living in Oregon

  • Members
  • 28,072 posts

Posted 08 February 2019 - 08:22 AM

Great one!
  • USAFChief and Mike Frasier Law like this
Have. Not of. Have a great day.

#10 John Bonnes

John Bonnes

    Owner

  • Administrators
  • 5,930 posts

Posted 08 February 2019 - 08:24 AM

I always suspected that Falvey was an expert on his 80s era Marvel comic writers. If he has copies of Wolverine 1-4 stashed away somewhere, we may need to get an apartment together. 

  • USAFChief, lecroy24fan, Mike Frasier Law and 5 others like this

#11 Number3

Number3

    Cedar Rapids

  • Members
  • 233 posts

Posted 08 February 2019 - 08:35 AM

As long as Falvey doesn't give Harper himself the $20.00 to play for the Twins I will be happy.


#12 jjswol

jjswol

    Member

  • Members
  • 67 posts
  • LocationMinnesota or Florida

Posted 08 February 2019 - 08:39 AM

I was always told that if you can't say something nice that you shouldn't say anything at all, but here...........geez.....

  • lecroy24fan, glunn, Riverbrian and 1 other like this
[FONT=arial black]jjswol
[/FONT]

#13 Sconnie

Sconnie

    Touch ‘em all!

  • Members
  • 4,071 posts
  • LocationNW Wisconsin

Posted 08 February 2019 - 08:57 AM

Welcome Stu, I was disappointed earlier this winter, but now thrilled to continue to read your work. 

  • Steve Lein, USAFChief, lecroy24fan and 2 others like this

#14 nasu1970

nasu1970

    Cedar Rapids

  • Members
  • 63 posts

Posted 08 February 2019 - 09:00 AM

I don't "get" this ... But, I also didn't "get" Dennis Miller on Monday Night Football.

  • Riverbrian and RandBall's Stu like this

#15 USAFChief

USAFChief

    Anyone got a smoke?

  • Twins Mods
  • 22,266 posts
  • LocationTucson

Posted 08 February 2019 - 09:04 AM

Welcome Randball!!

More outstandingness for TD.

BTW, Falvey checked in on the Harper card himself, and told the card shop owner "if you have trouble finding a buyer...and the price drops...a lot...give me a call."
  • lecroy24fan, glunn, Cris E and 9 others like this

Cutting my carbs...with a pizza slicer.


#16 Brock Beauchamp

Brock Beauchamp

    Owner

  • Administrators
  • 20,544 posts

Posted 08 February 2019 - 09:17 AM

*slow clap*
  • USAFChief, lecroy24fan, glunn and 3 others like this

#17 Vanimal46

Vanimal46

    Opener Poster

  • Members
  • 11,282 posts
  • LocationAustin, TX

Posted 08 February 2019 - 09:19 AM

A MUCH needed addition to the site. Welcome aboard Stu!
  • Steve Lein, USAFChief, lecroy24fan and 4 others like this

#18 Mike Sixel

Mike Sixel

    Now living in Oregon

  • Members
  • 28,072 posts

Posted 08 February 2019 - 09:21 AM

Agreed. This site has gotten overly serious lately..... Not that my posts are funny.....
  • lecroy24fan and glunn like this
Have. Not of. Have a great day.

#19 wavedog

wavedog

    Twins fan since 1969

  • Members
  • 820 posts

Posted 08 February 2019 - 09:39 AM

Welcome the fresh material - love it! Let's hope the Twins don't have a joke of a season and this will be the only type of laughs we need. 

  • USAFChief and glunn like this

#20 ashburyjohn

ashburyjohn

    Haighters gonna Haight

  • Twins Mods
  • 20,474 posts
  • LocationNatick, MA

Posted 08 February 2019 - 09:49 AM

An investigation probably will reveal that Thad Levine leaked the story to the press in order to get his boss fired, so that he can swoop in and take over. I never take this kind of stuff marked Satire seriously anyway.

  • USAFChief and glunn like this

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.-- Oscar Wilde




Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: satire, baseball cards, logan was a great movie, bryce harper, derek falvey