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Article: Game Thread: Twins v Brewers, 5/18 @ 7:10pm CT

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#1 Riverbrian

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 05:58 AM

The Brewers travel all the way from the National League to the Twin Cities for a 3-game series starting tonight at Target Field. The Twins marketing team has presented this as a “Border Battle” and is giving away “Border Battle” T-Shirts to the first 10,000 fans. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand this low-hanging, marketing fruit. Minnesota and Wisconsin share a common border. Minnesota and Wisconsin are both eyeing each other’s territory for expansion and stockpiling weapons for the inevitable invasion. We don’t have the necessary checkpoints along I-94 on the other side of the St. Croix River from Hudson, but they will have to go up sometime in preparation. There is very little difference between this Minnesota/Wisconsin border battle and the India/Pakistan border skirmishes.

Other than… I’m not aware of any commemorative ‘Border Battle’ t-Shirts being sold in Lahore or Jaipur.

Here are some things to think about:

 

1. Top (Non-Trump) News Story of the Day:

24/7 Wall St. released a top-20 list of the “Drunkest Cities in America”. To come up with the rankings they analyzed excessive drinking data of 381 Metro areas across the ENTIRE United States. Now, it is possible that this list was compiled by a bunch of cocaine addled Wall Street execs, but you should all be aware that 17 of the top 20 are concentrated in the Midwest.

1 in Nebraska (Lincoln 17)
2 in North Dakota (Grand Forks 8, Fargo 5)
3 in Iowa (Ames 19, Dubuque 14, Iowa City 13)
Only 1 in Minnesota (Mankato 11) and 10 in Wisconsin including the top 4 (Milwaukee 20, Sheboygan 15, Fond Du Lac 12, La Crosse 10, Wausau 9, Oshkosh 6, Madison 4, Appleton 3, Eau Claire 2 and Green Bay 1).

Minnesota is gonna roll right through a passed out Wisconsin when the real “Border Battle” takes place.

2. Our Twins:

Jason Castro just might be the top story with the Twins at the moment. It has been announced that he is out for the season after undergoing surgery to do a full repair to the meniscus in his right knee. Personally, I know what Jason Castro is going through. I tore my MCL in my right knee about 15 years ago. I didn’t get surgery done because I could still do my job on crutches initially and then limping around without them until I was fine.

My injury happened during the office Christmas party limbo contest.

I know you are expecting a punchline here, but… it ain’t coming. That is actually how I tore my meniscus.

It was a tough pill to swallow. It started with about 10 participants and some on-lookers who were not at the bar. There were just two of us left, and the 25 year old girl I was up against failed to get under the bar; I was under it with just my head left to clear it for victory when my knee gave out.

The hardest part of the whole deal wasn’t the pain or discomfort afterwards; it wasn’t the deductible; it wasn’t my crutches sliding off the wall where they were propped up and chipping the new kitchen floor; it wasn’t even the occasional arthritis I feel today in the same spot where the injury occurred. The hardest part was knowing that I was that close to winning.

3. The Brewers:

Nobody is required to have a 2nd favorite team but if I had to name mine… it would be the Brewers. I like the uniforms, I have family living in the Milwaukee area, and the team is fun to watch. They are built with an awesome combination of power and speed and I believe teams built that way can McGyver their way to victories that others can’t. However… it should be pointed out that Richard Dean Anderson is Minnesota born. Just another advantage in our “Border Battle”.

4. Today’s Joe M Conversation:

Morgan: Thank God! Here he comes.

Montana: Where have you been, Mauer? We’ve been worried about you.

Mauer: What do ya mean?

Maddon: You haven’t responded to my emails.

Montana: You didn’t return any of my texts.

McCarthy: You have no updates on the Face Thing.

Morgan: Facebook

McCarthy: Facebook… nothing but crickets.

Maddon: We were pretty worried… we were just going to call for a welfare check.

Mauer: Did you check Twitter?

Morgan: Twitter? Hold on. (Pause) There you are. I’m gonna tweet “Thank God you are OK”.

5. Genes:

I was talking with my youngest son about how traits are passed on from the parents to the child. He quickly put together a list and said he wanted these traits from me and these traits from my wife. My wife explained to him that it doesn’t work that way. Although, making that list, he clearly just exhibited a trait that came from me and I made him add that to the list.
____________________

Lineups:

BREWERS
Lorenzo Cain(R ) CF
Christian Yelich(L) LF
Jesus Aguilar(R ) 1B
Travis Shaw(L) 3B
Domingo Santana(R ) RF
Ji-Man Choi(L) DH
Jonathan Villar(S) 2B
Manny Pina(R ) C
Orlando Arcia(R ) SS

Brent Suter(L) P

TWINS
Joe Mauer(L) 1B
Brian Dozier(R ) 2B
Eddie Rosario(L) LF
Eduardo Escobar(S) 3B
Max Kepler(L) RF
Robbie Grossman(S) DH
Byron Buxton(R ) CF
Ehire Adrianza(S) SS
Bobby Wilson(R ) C

Kyle Gibson® P

Gametime forecast: 80 deg F, partly cloudy, no rain, winds at 13mph from the SSE.

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#2 diehardtwinsfan

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 06:25 AM

awesome thread intro

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#3 wsnydes

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 06:30 AM

Where do I sign up for the Border Battle Militia?It'll only take me a minute to be ready should the need arise!

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#4 Platoon

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 06:36 AM

Took the bike over to Milwaukee one year for one of the border battle games. They do know how to party in the parking lot there. And grill! It was a good time, Twins were down a lot of the game, the natives were very very drunk and boisterous. The Twins came back late in the game to win it. While a lot of the Brewer fans were unhappy they lost, most of those around us likely didn't realize that fact until the next morning.
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TwinsWorld: Did you hear we just updated the Stadium Club?

If I wanted balls and strikes called by a robot, I would get an Xbox!

#5 Blake

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 06:37 AM

Wisconsin has cheese and beer.

 

More than enough justification!

 

Call the militia!

 

Good job, RB!

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#6 Platoon

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 06:37 AM

Where do I sign up for the Border Battle Militia?It'll only take me a minute to be ready should the need arise!

Build the Wall..... Build the Wall.... Wisconsin will pay for it. :).
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TwinsWorld: Did you hear we just updated the Stadium Club?

If I wanted balls and strikes called by a robot, I would get an Xbox!

#7 Platoon

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 06:44 AM

It's apparent that most of the people entering ND from MN start drinking in Fargo and Grand Forks in an attempt to dull the pain on the westward trek through the vast wasteland.
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TwinsWorld: Did you hear we just updated the Stadium Club?

If I wanted balls and strikes called by a robot, I would get an Xbox!

#8 Dave The Dastardly

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 09:14 AM

I find it telling that not only did I attend Mankato State, but I also coached against basketball teams in every Wisconsin city listed on the Heavy Drinkers List.

 

Perhaps I should market my alcohol consumption inducing skills to every tavern in the upper Midwest... might be worth a shot.

 

 

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#9 sampleSizeOfOne

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 09:26 AM

Build the Wall..... Build the Wall.... Wisconsin will pay for it. :).


On top of the river?
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#10 Vanimal46

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 10:07 AM

I find it telling that not only did I attend Mankato State, but I also coached against basketball teams in every Wisconsin city listed on the Heavy Drinkers List.

Perhaps I should market my alcohol consumption inducing skills to every tavern in the upper Midwest... might be worth a shot.


Go Mavericks! I'm a fellow alumni of the school.
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#11 wsnydes

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 10:07 AM

 

On top of the river?

the people on the other side of the river are too busy drinking to notice.Put it on their side of the river!they're paying for it anyway, right?!

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#12 ThejacKmp

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 10:53 AM

I hate when we face Lefties. Especially without Sano and Polanco. DH Grossman and give Morrison the night off?

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#13 ThejacKmp

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 10:58 AM

I'm always sad that the Brewers went to the NL and not the Twins. When I think about those mid 00s teams that were starting Jason Tyner at DH, I think "We could have been an NL team, we could have been an NL team." Because that's what you are when Jason Tyner DHs.

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#14 twinssporto

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 11:03 AM

I did hear a report on WCCO today that Minnesota and Wisconsin were at war with each other.  The reporter mentioned that some individuals on the Wisconsin side were lobbing grenades over the boarder into Minnesota.

 

The Minnesotans were throwing them back with the pins removed.

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On a long enough timeline the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.


#15 twinssporto

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 11:07 AM

By the way, sat next to Dan Gladden Wednesday night at Ike's in Minnetonka.  He was very nice.  There were some little league kids in there with their baseball uniforms on and they came up to him and said hi.  He chatted with them for 5-10 minutes then went over and spoke with their dad/coach.  It was fun to watch.  He was giving the kids some pointers and teasing them that their uniforms weren't dirty enough.

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On a long enough timeline the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.


#16 Nine of twelve

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 11:11 AM

This joke doesn't apply any more but I'll tell it anyway. Those of us who can remember life from about 35 years ago will get it.
Q: How does Wisconsin punish drunk drivers?
A: They make them put yellow license plates with black letters on their cars.
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#17 Don Walcott

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 11:38 AM

Doesn't North Dakota have oil shale to exploit? MN should be looking to invade North Dakota for the oil. That's the American thing to do.

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#18 wsnydes

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 11:43 AM

 

Doesn't North Dakota have oil shale to exploit? MN should be looking to invade North Dakota for the oil. That's the American thing to do.

Perhaps the goal is to exploit the farmlands of Wisconsin to support the MN populous?Cheese, grains, milk, beef and beer.Plus, tourism would be easier to sell in WI than it is for ND.  

 

Or, maybe RB just doesn't want to live in MN so he shifts our focus to the east to avoid drawing attention to the oil?

 

I've thought waaaaaaay to much about that...

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#19 Carole Keller

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 11:51 AM

 


 

I've thought waaaaaaay to much about that...

 

You sound like Ash in disguise.

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#20 Vanimal46

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Posted 18 May 2018 - 11:54 AM

Perhaps the goal is to exploit the farmlands of Wisconsin to support the MN populous? Cheese, grains, milk, beef and beer. Plus, tourism would be easier to sell in WI than it is for ND.

Or, maybe RB just doesn't want to live in MN so he shifts our focus to the east to avoid drawing attention to the oil?

I've thought waaaaaaay to much about that...


Classic misdirection approach. You're catching on to RB's antics!
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