ANNND Welcome back! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line: The Dating Game Edition! That game wasn't very fun yesterday! I'm going to tell you a little white lie... Things will be better today! It's the last game of the series in the TropiDome between our Twins and Tampa near a Bay. Before we find the next pitcher to love, let's talk weather and lineups. Intern, take it away!
Van, don't you remember from yesterday that they play in a dome? We don't have to worry about weather!
Minnesota Twins (8-7):
P - Phil Hughes -- If you can't say something nice about a person don't say anything at all. So here's my recap of Hughes:
Tampa near a Bay Rays (7-13):
P - Yonny Chirinos (R ) - They're going with a 'bullpen game' in April. Now I've seen everything.
Alright! Enough baseball talk!! As you may know, your host has been dating to find the next Miss Vanimal... I'm ALSO looking for another pitcher besides Jose Berrios to love! I can't think of a better way to find a pitcher than playing 'The Dating Game!' Without further ado, let's pass the mic to our next host, Jim Lange!
Thanks Van, and welcome to the show! Van is looking for love, and we have 3 eligible bachelor pitchers that can fit the bill... Let's introduce them now! Good luck gentlemen.
A former hot dog eating contest champion in Marion County, Indiana. Bachelor A also enjoys throwing lots of fastballs, sometimes for strikes! In addition to enjoying cocktails, he also spends time picking up pennies from fountains at parks around the city... Lance! Good luck bud.
Our next contestant is constantly smelling baseballs. Not because he enjoys the scent, but for superstition. In his spare time he enjoys moving his fingers gingerly so he can throw a slider again... Ervin! Good luck sir.
Finally, our last bachelor is currently spending time in Rochester, NY throwing lasers by players. In his spare time he enjoys the fine art of staring into nothing... Fernando! Good luck everyone.
Van: Bachelor A, how are you going to make me a happy fan?
Lance: Well, I'll throw lots of fastballs! If you want to see a curve ball you're not going to see it often! I want to go FAST.
Van: Yeah... I get that. But will they be strikes?
Lance: At least 45% of the time!
Van: I'm needing more than 45% in my future pitcher love... Sorry Lance, you're out.
Jim: Too bad Lance. There's complimentary hot dogs backstage if you want some.
Van: Bachelor B, you've been quite loveable before... How do you feel now? Can I love you again?
Erv: I think so! Look at this peace sign I can do to you!
Van: That's with your left hand... What about your pitching hand?
Erv: How do you KNOW I'm right handed? And why does that matter? I'm coming back very soon!
Van: Are you sure?
Erv: Suuuure... You know, once I can throw, have an extended rehab session, and beat father time again.
Van: Not very promising, Jim. Let's move on.
Jim: You heard the man. Get off the stage! That only leaves Bachelor C... Let's hope this works.
Van: Bachelor C, I don't know much about you. What's a unique fact that I can tell all of my friends and family about you?
Fernando: I love sunrises. It's the beginning of every day, and I don't know... It's just really nice and beautiful. I also throw 95 MPH.
Van: I love it! Sunrises make me smile too. I want to love you... Will you love me?
Fernando: If that helps me get called up over Gibson and Hughes, then yes.
Van: I'm head over heels!
Jim: What are these 2 crazy kids going to get into? We'll never know because we don't follow up on the dates we arrange! They look pretty happy right now though, don't they?
And that will do it for our show today... Let's try to win a game Twins!
Edited by Vanimal46, 22 April 2018 - 07:13 AM.