Posted 28 December 2017 - 09:46 PM
I am truly torn as to whether or not to say anything at all, especially having read some of the posts here, but took a deep breath and decided to comment.
I choose my words very, very carefully.
I love and adore women. And to be very clear, I say that with the utmost warmth and respect, and not in a casual or sexual manner. I have loved and adored women in my life. I am the father of a 27yo daughter who I cherish deeply who, fortunately, has never faced any sort of situation like this reported one. I have known women, family, friends and relationship partners, who have been assaulted and abused in their life. I find it abhorrent!
I do not take these incidents, incidents to others, or reported incidents lightly! And I am speaking ONLY in the abstract on this incident as I have no first hand knowledge of the incident or the people involved.
Many of the women I have known have also refused to come forward due to shame or fear. Some that have "confessed" the incident did so later or much later. To vilify someone who has encountered this, or has learned about it in confidence and not "come forward" to do or say something about it is misguided. Many times the person involved is not ready, frightened, suffering from a sense of "shame" they should not be forced to feel, or simply wants to heal and move on. Sometimes they feel there is no legal recourse available, so their "confession" is made in confidence they hope is respected.
This is in general, through my own knowledge, and not a comment on this specific incident or the people involved. I want to make that clear!
But as a man, a person, a father, friend and partner and as an intelligent human being who is also a sports fan and has seen these incidents present themselves in various forms, I have two comments to make. And I don't make them lightly.
1] Due process should take it's course here first and foremost. This is NOT a cop-out statement. Both in the private sector and public sector we have heard of "mild" and egregious incidents/actions that have taken place. Some were proven true. Some were proven false. Some disappeared in to the gray. We are not judge and jury, nor directly involved. We are only outsiders looking in wondering as to what happened, and what will become of it all.
2] Again, I measure my words carefully here and am NOT speaking directly to this incident or the people involved. In life, and the legal system, there are degrees of mistakes/crimes committed by people. I dare all of us at least know people, whether they be friends, family or acquaintances who have done something wrong, bad or illegal at some point in their life. The moral high ground is sometimes easy to take. But if you personally knew Mr/Ms Smith, and they shoplifted once vs robbing a home or business, how would you weigh the scales? It's a moral dilema and a slippery slope to be sure. Do we vilify the transgressed to the same degree? Probably not, but that is a personal decision to be made. Likewise, in an incident that may be proven true, or false, or one that falls in to the gray, who then do we call villain?
The whole point here is that there is a lot more to contemplate, this situation or any other. I don't have the answer to this particular situation, and none of us do. I believe it will end up in the gray sector of reality, right or wrong. Lives are affected. And that's a shame. It feels as though both parties will be damaged in some way. And that may ultimately be the tragic part of this.
If I had a wish, it would be everyone would "like" my post and this topic would simply end here. It's news, and Twins news, but it's really beyond this forum to debate and decide anything here, IMHO.
Carole Keller, glunn, Thrylos and 20 others like this
"Nice catch Hayes...don't ever f*****g do it again."