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The Heroic Return of Roger Clemens

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#1 Bark's Lounge

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Posted 20 August 2012 - 07:39 PM

I see that Roger Clemens is making a return to professional baseball - suiting up and pitching for the Independent Ball club the "Sugar Land Skeeters" this coming up Saturday. If all goes well, maybe the Twins should take a flyer on him. Even as a 50 year old, I bet he has something left in the tank compared to some of the yahoos we have been throwing out there. Even if his pitching contribution is minimal - he could be a great influence on our younger ball players, teaching them the finer points of the following:

  • How To cheat and lie
  • How to break the law and get away with it
  • How to seduce under aged women
  • Oh, don't let me forget - The art of pitching

I think this could go down as one of the better moves the Twins could make... maybe one of the greatest in the history of this franchise. Baseball needs Roger Clemens, the game hasn't been the same since he left. I for one am proud of myself for putting this thread out their promoting this American Hero, Moral Warrior, True Champion of Humanism and Protector of Virtue.

All Hail Roger Clemens!!!

#2 nicksaviking


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Posted 21 August 2012 - 04:23 PM

At the very least he might help keep Rusty Harden in town for whan future Minnesota athletes perform nefarious unlawful deeds.

#3 PseudoSABR


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Posted 21 August 2012 - 05:04 PM

He also seems like a loyal friend. Welcome aboard, Roger!