22 replies to this topic

[walt-o-meal]

1. Fact: Joe Mauer was drafted first in the 2001 MLB draft. No other player has ever been drafted first in the 2001 MLB draft. #GoSeminoles
2. Fact: Joe Mauer has as many RBIs in a Twins uniform as Justin Morneau. Also, he has slightly more passed balls. But also fewer ABs as a White Sox. So uh, call it a wash. #WhiSox
3. Fact: Joe Mauer is batting over .300 for the first time since 8-19-2013 when his cerebellum was stolen, most likely by aliens. #TheTruthIsOutThere
4. Fact: Joe Mauer has a hit in 11 straight games, and is batting .448 since national Duran Duran appreciation day. #HungryLikeTheWolf
5. Fast: Joe Mauer is 20 for 44 (.455) since the moon got out of the way of the freakin' sun. #LunarInterference
6. Fact: Joe Mauer is batting at least 1.000 over his last 5 ABs. #MathIsHard
7. Fact: Some teams would pay up to $22,999,999.99 - but not a goddamn penny more - for this kind of performance from a veteran in a playoff chase. #MauerIsOverpaid

[Brock Beauchamp]

Well done.

[70charger]

#nailedit

[notoriousgod71]

Fact: Ninjas are mammals

[snepp]

 

Fact: Ninjas are mammals

 

Fact: Joe is a mammal

 

Fact: Joe is a ninja

[a-wan]

 

Fact: Joe is a mammal

 

Fact: Joe is a ninja

 

But ninjas are human, Joe Mauer is not human!

 

Or are ninjas juggalos thus Joe Mauer is a juggalo?

[goulik]

But ninjas are human, Joe Mauer is not human!

#BabyJesus

[Sconnie]

In the average living room there are 1,242 objects Joe Mauer could use to hit a soft single to left-center, including the room itself.
#joemauerfacts.com

Edited by Sconnie, 04 September 2017 - 04:18 PM.

[walt-o-meal]

Fact:The only thing Joe Mauer hates more than no-hitters is skim milk.

"It's not real milk!I keep telling Maddy, but she just won't listen.Jeepers."

[ashbury]

Fact: Once a cobra bit Joe Mauer's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Fact: Sharks have a week dedicated to Joe Mauer.

Fact: If Joe Mauer were to pat you on the back, you would list it on your resume.

Fact: In Soviet Russia, .300 hits Joe Mauer.

[walt-o-meal]

Fact: If the Royals were not allowed to walk Joe Mauer he would be hitting .310.

#4th batting title.

[USAFChief]

Fact: When learning CPR in high school, Joe Mauer brought the dummy back to life.

Fact: Joe Mauer's tears cure cancer...but Joe Mauer has never cried.

[Hosken Bombo Disco]

Authenticated Joe Mauer foul balls are going for $90,000 on the open market

[ashbury]

Fact: When learning CPR in high school, Joe Mauer brought the dummy back to life.

And I'm here to tell ya, the experience was EARTH SHATTERING!

[USAFChief]

And I'm here to tell ya, the experience was EARTH SHATTERING!

Meh...the revival was too late in the (chest compression) count for my tastes. Plus he didn't drive the guy in (to the hospital.).

[LA VIkes Fan]

Fact:Joe Mauer doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the earth down and releases it.

 

Fact: Joe Mauer doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

 

Fact: Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Michael Jackson, and Budweiser all call Joe Mauer "the King".

Edited by LA VIkes Fan, 08 September 2017 - 02:00 PM.

[D. Hocking]

 

Fact: When learning CPR in high school, Joe Mauer brought the dummy back to life.

 

 

Does the dummy participate in TwinsDaily?

[Hosken Bombo Disco]

 

Plus he didn't drive the guy in (to the hospital.).

He took him the opposite way?

[ashbury]

Does the dummy participate in TwinsDaily?

Participate? Hell, they made it a Moderator, amirite?

[twinsnorth49]

Does the dummy participate in TwinsDaily?

Often.....some might say, too often.