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Article: Game Thread: Twins v Royals, 5/19 @ 7:10pm CT

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#1 Riverbrian

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 05:52 AM

As the Rockies leave Minnesota… the Royals arrive in Minnesota for a 3-game series. Both team names start with “Ro” so it’s almost like we are playing the same team. Now… there are some differences… but a few other similarities… like… they both play baseball and they will both try to beat the Twins. Both teams believe it is bad luck to be superstitious, both teams think Pelicans have an advantage when it comes to catching fly balls, both teams believe it is handy to use sign language and both teams do not believe in reincarnation and they didn’t believe in reincarnation last time either.
Good luck to all trying to tell these two teams apart but I’ll tell you this… only one is real at the moment.

Here are some things to think about:

 

1. Sioux Falls – 29% of the South Dakota state population lives in Sioux Falls. Due to weight distribution, the state is out of balance and this causes a slight tilt to the state. As a result of this tilt, everything in the state tends to roll toward the southeast. This has been proven through experiments conducted in Pierre. If you place an orange on the kitchen table, it will roll off toward the southeast. Because of this… Sioux Falls has been overrun with rogue oranges. Sioux Falls has a population of 178,500. Because the state doesn’t have corporate income tax the town has become overrun with bankers… and… umm… oranges. Approximately 154,000 of the 178,500 people are bankers. I know that sounds like a lot of bankers and you may ask what about the children. Well… most of the children are also bankers. Typical 8-year-olds are seen giving away toasters to people along with those little 'tell a friend' cards. An interesting fact about Sioux Falls… nobody would know what was happening in Hollywood if it weren’t for Sioux Falls. Pat O’Brien, of Access Hollywood fame, and Mary Hart, of Entertainment Tonight fame, are perhaps the most famous Sioux Falls alum and are both perhaps the world’s most famous bankers.

2. Our Twins – Who is pitching tonight? It is quite possible that nobody even knows because all the Twin Fans are thinking about is the performance of Jose Berrios last night. The 22 year old pitcher is now 2 for 2 when it comes to brilliant starts in 2017. He has 15.1 innings pitched so far with 15 strikeouts, 2 walks, 4 hits and a 0.59 ERA. That ERA is slightly better than the ERA he produced last year.

3. The Royals – The last time I wrote about the Royals… they were playing pretty bad. Today… as I write about the Royals… they are still playing pretty bad. Why? That would be the offense. The pitching hasn’t been terrible but the offense has. The Royals are dead last in runs scored. The current team leader in RBIs is Salvador Perez with 2.

4. Today’s Joe M Conversation
Montana: Hey Joe, throw me a beer out of the cooler.

McCarthy: What would you like?

Montana: I’ll take Michelob Ultra.

McCarthy: Joe… You?

Mauer: Hamm’s please

Maddon: Old Style for me

McCarthy: There ya go… and I’ll take a Pepsi.

Montana: Pepsi?

McCarthy: Well… if you guys aren’t drinking beer… neither should I.

5. Psychic - You gotta wonder about them. You never hear about them winning the lottery. In my opinion... the most effective way to predict the future is the hotel mini-bar... if you ever want to know what things will cost 10 years from now.
____________________

Lineups:

ROYALS
Alcides Escobar SS
Lorenzo Cain CF
Eric Hosmer 1B
Salvador Perez C
Jorge Bonifacio RF
Jorge Soler DH
Whit Merrifield 2B
Alex Gordon LF
Cheslor Cuthbert 3B

Nate Karns P

TWINS
Brian Dozier 2B
Robbie Grossman DH
Joe Mauer 1B
Miguel Sano 3B
Max Kepler RF
Jorge Polanco SS
Jason Castro C
Byron Buxton CF
Eddie Rosario LF

Hector Santiago P

Weather: 54 deg F, cloudy, winds from the ENE at 10mph, with a slight chance for snow.

Okay, I was kidding about the snow part. It shouldn't rain tonight. Definitely won't say that tomorrow.

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#2 sampleSizeOfOne

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 06:46 AM

First!

(Just felt like being petty today)

Psychic winning the lottery is kind a like setting a mlb pitcher loose at a carnival.
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#3 Blake

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 07:29 AM

Not first.

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#4 spinowner

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 07:29 AM

Maybe someone can explain this to me. If South Dakota is really the best place for businesses why is it necessary to pay for advertising to tell businesses to move there? Wouldn't all businesses already be located there? Kind of like the reference about psychics. If they could really predict the future why haven't they all made big money on the Las Vegas sports lines?

Edited by spinowner, 19 May 2017 - 07:30 AM.

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eiπ + 1 = 0


#5 spinowner

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 07:33 AM

"I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met."

-Steven Wright

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#6 gocgo

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 08:01 AM

Living near Sioux Falls and working for one of those banks, I can attest to the population imbalance and the existence of rogue oranges, basketballs, and automobiles...basicly anything that rolls.  I've found many rogue golf balls and have lost many that simply rolled away into oblivion.

 

The bank thing actually started in the early eighties when then governor Bill (Wild Bill) Janklow shook hands with Citibank when they were expanding their credit card footprint.  South Dakota removed the limits to how much interest could be charged that were in existence in New York.  The avalanche of credit card companies (banks) began and still exists (although it has calmed down considerably as other states caught on).  Not only do we not have a corporate income tax, we don't have a personal income tax either.  Property taxes on the other hand....

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#7 Dave The Dastardly

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 08:05 AM

I knew that about South Dakota - about it being tilted to the southeast. I tried driving from Minnesota out to the Black Hills once and my car (it was a 4 cylinder Renault) kept rolling backwards. Some said it was because I didn't set the parking brake. But I couldn't see the advantage of setting the parking brake when I was trying to do 60 mph down the interstate. I finally gave up at the Corn Palace, got on the east-bound (and down - little play on words there if you remember the movie) lane, put the Renault in neutral and coasted all the way back to Sioux Falls. Which proved two things; French cars do get great mileage when they're going down hill and life is mostly uphill and full of reverses.

 

Speaking of reverses, I once tried climbing the Big Horn Mountains in a 1946 6-cylinder Chevy hippy school bus. The bus came to a dead stop in the middle of the highway about half way up, even though I had it in super low and the accelerator to the floor. Had to back down the switchback highway for over a mile before I could find a shoulder wide enough to turn around. I didn't get a lot of love from the cars trying to get around me. But I did get a lot of birds. Of course once I managed to turn the hippy bus around without dropping it off the edge of the mountain, it rolled all the way back to Sioux Falls without using any gas. Which was good because us hippies didn't have any money anyway.

 

There's another life lesson in there somewhere but I'm not sure what it is. That time period is kind of hazy for me.

 

Sort of like whether or not the Twins will get in a ballgame today.

 

Long way to go for a baseball connection... but it was fun getting there.

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#8 Winston Smith

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 08:13 AM

Recently moved to Sioux Falls and believe me the place is very orange.

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#9 USAFChief

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 08:14 AM

We even have a moderator from Sioux Falls.

 

He's not a banker, but he is a little, uh, tilted.

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#10 PDX Twin

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 08:33 AM

Sioux Falls always makes me think of soufflés. Is there a good French restaurant there? If not, someone should open one. If it were located at the foot of the falls it could be called "Sous Falls."

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It's great to get out of the cellar ... as long as you bring something with you.


#11 sampleSizeOfOne

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 08:52 AM

I just figured out something...

If we're still pacing the central, that means we're playing with a target on our back, so to speak.

Maybe that's how come we call it Target field.
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#12 diehardtwinsfan

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 09:15 AM

 

We even have a moderator from Sioux Falls.

 

He's not a banker, but he is a little, uh, tilted.

 

Probably 2 moderators.The Dakotas are practically Canada anyways.

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#13 ashburyjohn

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 09:23 AM

First!

(Just felt like being petty today)

Not the first, sorry.

 

tom-petty-sidebar.png

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#14 ashburyjohn

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 09:24 AM

"I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met."

-Steven Wright

"I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget." - ibid.

 

"I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget." - ibid.

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#15 Winston Smith

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 09:27 AM

 

Probably 2 moderators.The Dakotas are practically Canada anyways.

No Dak. probably but So Dak. is more like Kansas.

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#16 Blake

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 09:36 AM

 

I knew that about South Dakota - about it being tilted to the southeast. I tried driving from Minnesota out to the Black Hills once and my car (it was a 4 cylinder Renault) kept rolling backwards. Some said it was because I didn't set the parking brake. But I couldn't see the advantage of setting the parking brake when I was trying to do 60 mph down the interstate. I finally gave up at the Corn Palace, got on the east-bound (and down - little play on words there if you remember the movie) lane, put the Renault in neutral and coasted all the way back to Sioux Falls. Which proved two things; French cars do get great mileage when they're going down hill and life is mostly uphill and full of reverses.

 

Speaking of reverses, I once tried climbing the Big Horn Mountains in a 1946 6-cylinder Chevy hippy school bus. The bus came to a dead stop in the middle of the highway about half way up, even though I had it in super low and the accelerator to the floor. Had to back down the switchback highway for over a mile before I could find a shoulder wide enough to turn around. I didn't get a lot of love from the cars trying to get around me. But I did get a lot of birds. Of course once I managed to turn the hippy bus around without dropping it off the edge of the mountain, it rolled all the way back to Sioux Falls without using any gas. Which was good because us hippies didn't have any money anyway.

 

There's another life lesson in there somewhere but I'm not sure what it is. That time period is kind of hazy for me.

 

Sort of like whether or not the Twins will get in a ballgame today.

 

Long way to go for a baseball connection... but it was fun getting there.

You just got signed up for game thread duty. You can thank me later. Or curse me. Either way works. (I have no power to do such a thing but you show promise, IE, you've a pulse and a keyboard)

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#17 twinsnorth49

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 09:37 AM

 

Probably 2 moderators.The Dakotas are practically Canada anyways.

Sitting Bull seemed to agree, fine with me.

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#18 spinowner

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 09:46 AM

I don't know if she's still on the air, but there was a radio personality in the Twin Cities who went by the name of Sue Falls.

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#19 jimmer

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 09:49 AM

Kepler's catch last night was very impressive.
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#20 USAFChief

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 10:18 AM

 

I don't know if she's still on the air, but there was a radio personality in the Twin Cities who went by the name of Sue Falls.

Her ratings dropped off.

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I am not the paranoid you're looking for.