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Minnesota Twins Whine Line: Season 3

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#81 Vanimal46

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 12:54 PM

 

Hey Van, long time listener, caller, and failed fill in host.

 

I have a tough question. Me, my wife and a friend of ours went and seen MacSabbath at 1st Avenue tonight at the suggestion of our friend. MacSabbath is a band that dresses up as McDonald's characters and covers Black Sabbath songs, but alters the lyrics to fit into a fast food frame of mind.

 

Being that I am middle aged, is there anyway I can have an additional Friday night added to my life before I die? Pleeeaaaase tell me yes. I cannot afford anymore wasted Friday evenings.

 

And NO, we did not have any acid or I would not be asking for this advice. :)

 

I'll hang up and wait for your answer.

mac-sabbath-paul-koudounaris.jpg

 

Bark! We're sorry for the late response, but your message was the first one on our NEW and IMPROVED voice mail system. 

Of course you can have another Friday night added to your life! In fact, you're going to have a TON of Friday nights when you're an empty nester and living the dream out on Bark Island! This band looks like a blast to watch! And who says they can corner the market on heavy metal fast food bands? 

I say we do some crowd sourcing to create a Metallica cover band and dress up as the Great Root Bear! 

5819676060_1ed8fa2ed8_z.jpg

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#82 Vanimal46

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 01:01 PM

 

Yeah hi, first time long time, I wanted to call in today to talk about my symptoms. With hope of contending in 2017 quickly disappearing (like sand through my fingers) I've become increasingly addicted to the Iditarod race, which will last for only another week. What am I supposed to do to fill the void in my life after the race is over and I'm forced to resume the misery that is life as a Twins fan?

 

Thank you for the call Paul, and welcome to the show! The options are endless to fill the void in your life after the iditarod race! Here's a couple of things that the intern does in his spare time:

- Play MLB The Show and trade all of the All-Stars to the Twins

- Follow Justin Beiber around the country and attend all of his shows

- Read the Terms and Conditions document for the latest Apple software update

- Go to restaurants and only order water. Time it out to see how long it takes you before they ask you to order something or leave. 

 

Hope this helps! 

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#83 Mike Sixel

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 01:24 PM

Van, man, qq: 

 

How many veterans does it take to lead each "young" player on a roster? Asking for a friend...

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I don't know, it is a site to discuss sports, not airline safety.....maybe we should take it less seriously?


#84 Vanimal46

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 01:30 PM

 

Van, man, qq: 

 

How many veterans does it take to lead each "young" player on a roster? Asking for a friend...

 

Great question, Mike! Let's just say there is going to be a Whine Line: Game Thread Edition on this topic! You remember when your young ones were just starting in pre-school, and each school promoted the fact they have a 2:1 student to teacher ratio?

Well, let's just say the Minnesota Twins Pre-School Academy has NEARLY a 2:1 Veteran to non-veteran ratio! No one else can beat that!  

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#85 Mike Sixel

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 01:33 PM

Since my next meeting just canceled: 

 

How does one go looking for a job when one is nearly 53 and is more of a generalist than a specialist, again, asking for a friend. Not me, I'm not looking for work.

I don't know, it is a site to discuss sports, not airline safety.....maybe we should take it less seriously?


#86 Vanimal46

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 01:39 PM

 

Since my next meeting just canceled: 

 

How does one go looking for a job when one is nearly 53 and is more of a generalist than a specialist, again, asking for a friend. Not me, I'm not looking for work.

 

Another great question! Now, whenever I'm looking for work, I usually go in the employee's only entrance of their building and demand to speak to whoever makes hires at that place... If they don't tell me the person's name, then I open up a briefcase that's spring loaded with 200 of my resumes, and shoot the resumes in the air. It's usually quite the display! 

If all else fails, you can always take it to the STREETS, and see if anyone will hire you there. The more creative the sign, the better your odds. Good luck! 

 

3623170136_da67ebc9dd.jpg

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#87 Blake

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 01:44 PM

 

Another great question! Now, whenever I'm looking for work, I usually go in the employee's only entrance of their building and demand to speak to whoever makes hires at that place... If they don't tell me the person's name, then I open up a briefcase that's spring loaded with 200 of my resumes, and shoot the resumes in the air. It's usually quite the display! 

If all else fails, you can always take it to the STREETS, and see if anyone will hire you there. The more creative the sign, the better your odds. Good luck! 

 

3623170136_da67ebc9dd.jpg

You have a picture of your intern before you gave him a reason to, umm, live?

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#88 Vanimal46

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 01:48 PM

 

You have a picture of your intern before you gave him a reason to, umm, live?

 

Close, but that's not our intern! 

Our intern was just starting off as a caddy at the local club looking to latch on to Happy Gilmore's coat tails, but wasn't able to make it... Especially after this happened on national TV.

throws-caddie.gif

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#89 Mike Sixel

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 01:49 PM

 

Another great question! Now, whenever I'm looking for work, I usually go in the employee's only entrance of their building and demand to speak to whoever makes hires at that place... If they don't tell me the person's name, then I open up a briefcase that's spring loaded with 200 of my resumes, and shoot the resumes in the air. It's usually quite the display! 

If all else fails, you can always take it to the STREETS, and see if anyone will hire you there. The more creative the sign, the better your odds. Good luck! 

 

3623170136_da67ebc9dd.jpg

 

I would probably given that guy money. 

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I don't know, it is a site to discuss sports, not airline safety.....maybe we should take it less seriously?


#90 Blake

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 01:56 PM

 

I would probably given that guy money. 

Heh, I had a guy hit me up while he was carrying a cute puppy. I laughed and told him the puppy was a great prop and gave him a couple bucks.

Edited by Blake, 20 March 2017 - 01:56 PM.

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#91 LimestoneBaggy

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 02:10 PM

Hey Van,

 

What's the over-under on the Twins rotation actually being better at creating runs in inter-league games with the lumber than preventing runs during the rest of the season? I'll hang up, finish my moonshine, and cry in the corner while I listen to your answer.

 

Link for visual aid (throw back to our boy Vogel in 2012) http://bleacherrepor...-baseball-today

Edited by LimestoneBaggy, 20 March 2017 - 02:11 PM.

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"I lurk so hard, you thought I was a DJ." Limestone Baggy

 

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#92 Vanimal46

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 02:25 PM

 

Hey Van,

 

What's the over-under on the Twins rotation actually being better at creating runs in inter-league games with the lumber than preventing runs during the rest of the season? I'll hang up, finish my moonshine, and cry in the corner while I listen to your answer.

 

Link for visual aid (throw back to our boy Vogel in 2012) http://bleacherrepor...-baseball-today

 

Limestone! Welcome to the show! I LOVE the outside of the box question... Unfortunately I don't think the rotation is going to do well with the lumber this season.... What veterans are there to help them with swinging the stick? LaTroy went 0-8 with 7 K's in his career, so he's not the guy. We all know the gold standard for pitchers hitting, and that's Bartolo:

 

tumblr_inline_nrjegzlJXG1r9qiw6_500.gif

 

I would feel so much better if a veteran like Bartolo was on the team showing these youngsters how to hit a baseball! 

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#93 Bark's Lounge

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 05:24 PM

 

Another great question! Now, whenever I'm looking for work, I usually go in the employee's only entrance of their building and demand to speak to whoever makes hires at that place... If they don't tell me the person's name, then I open up a briefcase that's spring loaded with 200 of my resumes, and shoot the resumes in the air. It's usually quite the display! 

If all else fails, you can always take it to the STREETS, and see if anyone will hire you there. The more creative the sign, the better your odds. Good luck! 

 

3623170136_da67ebc9dd.jpg

That's me on a good day. Usually I ask for $6.

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Major League Baseball is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side.


#94 snepp

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 06:17 PM

Is it against the rules to ask for change when giving a hand-out?

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#95 Hosken Bombo Disco

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Posted 20 March 2017 - 06:22 PM

Hey Van, while waiting on hold just now, I had an epiphany that it's going to be a long season. I might become a regular caller. 

 

Can I get a moniker? 

 

Something catchy, somewhere in between "young guy" and "clubhouse veteran."  What do you think? Thanks!

 

 

It's a mere moment in a man's life between the All Star

Game and an old timer's game. - Vin Scully


#96 Blake

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Posted 21 March 2017 - 07:09 AM

 

Hey Van, while waiting on hold just now, I had an epiphany that it's going to be a long season. I might become a regular caller. 

 

Can I get a moniker? 

 

Something catchy, somewhere in between "young guy" and "clubhouse veteran."  What do you think? Thanks!

DiscoHobo?

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#97 Blake

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Posted 21 March 2017 - 12:44 PM

 

Limestone! Welcome to the show! I LOVE the outside of the box question... Unfortunately I don't think the rotation is going to do well with the lumber this season.... What veterans are there to help them with swinging the stick? LaTroy went 0-8 with 7 K's in his career, so he's not the guy. We all know the gold standard for pitchers hitting, and that's Bartolo:

 

tumblr_inline_nrjegzlJXG1r9qiw6_500.gif

 

I would feel so much better if a veteran like Bartolo was on the team showing these youngsters how to hit a baseball! 

So, you think Colon was somewhat surprised by making contact? Do you think his knees let him know they really weren't up to this nonsense? Looking at the way Colon sort of jogged into second, I have to believe he was thinking "Oh Crap, I have to make it all the way to second."

 

Your thoughts?


#98 Vanimal46

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Posted 29 March 2017 - 11:52 AM

ANNND Welcome back! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line: Daycare Edition! Lots of things have changed since the last time we were on the air! Also, a lot of things have stayed the same.... We've got a special little bit for you before we move on to your HAWT taeks, questions, concerns, and compliments. 

*Spotlight, camera zooms in on a relatively trustworthy man in a suit*

Hello, and welcome to Whine Line Daycare! We appreciate your interest in having your little one join this exclusive organization! We know why you're here.... Little Johnny is a promising young pitcher, isn't he!

post-19715-Brent-Rambo-gif-thumbs-up-img 

 

 

Ohhh yeah, you bet he's a good little pitcher! I bet you have tried looking into White Sox daycare, and realize "Who's going to teach my little Johnny the ins and outs of major league pitching?" If I had a nickel for every time a parent asked me that question, well, I wouldn't be the spokesperson in this infomercial today! 

MOST MLB teams claim they'll take special care of your young ones... When in reality, they just let him go out and do things on his own! NO CONSTANT ATTENTION..... 

Here at Whine Line Daycare, we CARE about your little guy.... In fact, NO ONE ELSE in the majors can say they have a 3:1 Veteran to Prospect ratio! Not only will our dedicated veterans show little Johnny how to pitch, they'll also tell him what to eat, when they should take naps, and when they're allowed to relax and play MLB the Show. 

 

Other daycares cost up to $750 a day, and have 3:1 prospect to veteran ratio.... NOT HERE at Whine Line Daycare! For the low, low cost of $250 a day, you can be sure that little Johnny is going to get constant attention, and a minimal shot at making the opening day roster! 

Call now for a free consultation! 

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#99 Mike Sixel

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Posted 29 March 2017 - 11:56 AM

A 103 loss team gets older, not younger. thoughts?

I don't know, it is a site to discuss sports, not airline safety.....maybe we should take it less seriously?


#100 Vanimal46

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Posted 29 March 2017 - 12:06 PM

 

A 103 loss team gets older, not younger. thoughts?

 

Maybe they cracked an analytics code and saw the older a team gets, the more wins they have? OR, they really want to be Whine Line Daycare and have the best veteran to prospect ratio in the majors! 




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