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Minnesota Twins Whine Line: Season 3

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#1 Vanimal46

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 10:02 AM

DISCLAIMER:

You are about to embark on a radio show full of SCORCHING HOT takes, ridiculous claims, and pure, utter randomness. Stop in, have a drink, call in, don't take things so serious, and HAVE FUN!

 

* Twins Daily and Vanimal are not responsible for the time lost investing in this website or thread.

 

If you are experiencing the following symptoms:

 

- Smiling
- Laughter
- Tears of Joy
- Confusion
- Anger

Please do not contact your physician. You are doing okay. Also, please do not take your anger out on the host or members of the show.

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#2 Mike Sixel

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 10:04 AM

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE, where have you been?

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I don't know, it is a site to discuss sports, not airline safety.....maybe we should take it less seriously?


#3 Vanimal46

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 10:04 AM

 

 

ANNND Welcome! To Season 3 of Minnesota Twins Whine Line. I am your host, Vanimal. Joining me for his 2nd full year, the Intern! We're shocked that Brock and the moderators let us continue this show... But, we now have a new studio! We're broadcasting LIVE from the brand new SCORCHING HOT Lounge, and looking for some HOT STUFF to talk about.

 

It's Thursday, and I think the Twins play today? Either way, as we all know, it's #ThrowbackThursday... For those that have been with us since day 1, you may recall the original intern that we had to fire. It wasn't his fault; Bark used two different voices to get on the show twice. Now that time has passed, we decided to check in on our old friend and see how he's doing....

 

Intern: "Welcome to Subway. What can I make fresh for you today?"

 

Van: "Yeah I'll take a.... WAIT A MINUTE. Intern?!"

 

Intern: "Oh, hey Van.... Yeah I'm working here now. Since you fired me."

 

Van: "Sorry bud. It hasn't been the same without your hot takes in the studio.... Do you have anything you want to say to the listeners?"

 

Intern: "Yeah. Shoutout to Loosey who nearly died drinking radiator fluid thinking it was Twins Kool-Aid."

 

Van: "Alright, we'll let him know. And keep up the good work. Who knows, maybe North has a job waiting for you in Canada!"

 

 

Now let's get on with the show... We're waiting, SALIVATING, for your hot Twins takes and questions. Who's going to start off the season STRONG?

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#4 Mike Sixel

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 10:08 AM

Molitor basically said he doesn't care how a guy hits, as long as he drives in runs.......THIS is the manager of the future? Ugh.

I don't know, it is a site to discuss sports, not airline safety.....maybe we should take it less seriously?


#5 Vanimal46

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 10:09 AM

 

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE, where have you been?

 

Mike! You're back! Our show took some time off to reflect, and make sure we get back to our ROOTS. North informed us about a remote cabin available for rent off Lake Manitoba, where we could take time to prepare for the season of HAWT taeks.

 

We wanted to show our listeners that we CARE, and we're here to win a championship, no matter what it takes.  

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#6 D. Hocking

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 10:13 AM

I am confident everything is going to go smoothly this season that this thread will just be collecting dust.  I anticipate some activity when we blow game 4 of the World Series and miss out on a sweep victory.

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#7 Vanimal46

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 10:16 AM

 

Molitor basically said he doesn't care how a guy hits, as long as he drives in runs.......THIS is the manager of the future? Ugh.

 

This is a pretty revolutionary take... One that we're COMPLETELY on board with. Just imagine the possibilities Mike... A batter could karate kick at the ball, do a 360 spin swing, or throw his bat at the ball! Any of those things has the potential to drive in runs! Molitor is not only the manager of the future, he may be the ambassador of future baseball! 

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#8 Vanimal46

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 10:20 AM

 

I am confident everything is going to go smoothly this season that this thread will just be collecting dust.  I anticipate some activity when we blow game 4 of the World Series and miss out on a sweep victory.

 

Welcome back to the show Denny! We hope that this thread isn't collecting dust, as there's always hawt taeks throughout the season... We have high hopes this season, and your twisted thoughts are much needed around here! 

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#9 diehardtwinsfan

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 11:14 AM

So Van... on a slightly different take.

 

I made a lot of money investing in Minnesota Moonshine companies last spring. Is it time to sell, or should I hold my investments in expectation of another 100 loss season?

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#10 laloesch

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 11:21 AM

 

Molitor basically said he doesn't care how a guy hits, as long as he drives in runs.......THIS is the manager of the future? Ugh.

 

 

Haha and to think there was a couple of postings in another thread about how we need to sign Molitor to an extension to give him peace of mind and help mold these kids into men, lol


#11 Vanimal46

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 11:49 AM

 

So Van... on a slightly different take.

 

I made a lot of money investing in Minnesota Moonshine companies last spring. Is it time to sell, or should I hold my investments in expectation of another 100 loss season?

 

You came to the right guy, diehard... If I were you, I'd hang on to those shares until they pried them from my cold, dead hands! You're sitting on a GOLDMINE! According to our research, Minnesota Moonshine's demand is expected to triple when Jose Berrios starts the season in AAA. And that's only the beginning! Just imagine people clamoring for moonshine when Gimenez makes the team over JRM.... 

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#12 Hosken Bombo Disco

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 11:49 AM

Nick Gordon, Ehire Adrianza, and Danny Santana walk into a bar...

Van Man, what did you think of Molitor's 9th inning infield configuration last night?

2B Gordon
SS Santana
3B Adrianza

Time to lock up DanSan to a long term contract?
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Game and an old timer's game. - Vin Scully


#13 Vanimal46

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 11:53 AM

 

Nick Gordon, Ehire Adrianza, and Danny Santana walk into a bar...

Van Man, what did you think of Molitor's 9th inning infield configuration last night?

2B Gordon
SS Santana
3B Adrianza

Time to lock up DanSan to a long term contract?

 

Our first thought: Is Molly on something? On second thought, maybe he's onto something! Who needs Dozier, Polanco, or Escobar when DanSan is so VERSATILE. His speed alone gives cops the heebie-jeebies. And the fact he has so much GRIT to play anywhere on the field.

5 years, $55 million. Who says no first? 

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#14 wsnydes

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 12:03 PM

 

So Van... on a slightly different take.

 

I made a lot of money investing in Minnesota Moonshine companies last spring. Is it time to sell, or should I hold my investments in expectation of another 100 loss season?

I'm trying to decide whether it's a good thing or a bad thing that my Minnesota Moonshine dividend nearly covered my expenditures on its products last season. :th_alc:

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"Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains." - Meat 


#15 wsnydes

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 12:06 PM

 

Our first thought: Is Molly on something? On second thought, maybe he's onto something! Who needs Dozier, Polanco, or Escobar when DanSan is so VERSATILE. His speed alone gives cops the heebie-jeebies. And the fact he has so much GRIT to play anywhere on the field.

5 years, $55 million. Who says no first? 

With such versatility, perhaps it is a better idea to trade him for an ace before he signs such a deal.  Tough to beat the current bang for the buck of his current deal.

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"Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains." - Meat 


#16 Mike Sixel

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 12:07 PM

 

I'm trying to decide whether it's a good thing or a bad thing that my Minnesota Moonshine dividend nearly covered my expenditures on its products last season. :th_alc:

 

sunday sales! GOLD. MINE.

  • USAFChief, Blake, Vanimal46 and 1 other like this

I don't know, it is a site to discuss sports, not airline safety.....maybe we should take it less seriously?


#17 USAFChief

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 12:12 PM

 

 

5 years, $55 million. Who says no first? 

Chief.

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I am not the paranoid you're looking for.


#18 wsnydes

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 12:24 PM

So Van...tough question for you early in the show. Who's going to cover more of the outfield at Target Field this season?  Byron Buxton or Billy Joel?

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"Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains." - Meat 


#19 mickeymental

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 12:29 PM

people are saying that everything in the gift shop at the scorching hot lounge is made in china. any truth to the rumor?

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#20 Pardon My Dinger

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Posted 09 March 2017 - 12:43 PM

Hey Van, I have a quick one for ya.'

2017 Minnesota Twins: best team in MLB this year or greatest team in MLB this year?
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Rap name: LL Cool Bean.




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