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Article: Game Thread - Twins @ White Sox - 10/2/16 - 2:10 CST

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#1 LaBombo

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 11:46 AM

Game Thread

Twins vs. Bad Guys at their pad

10/2/2016

 

Urgent and Horrifying News Story Edition

 

giphy.gif

 

 

 

"Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention please! The 2016 Minnesota Twins season is ending today! And the weirdo who always posts jpgs and gifs is doing the game thread!"

 

Hello, long-suffering Twins fans. Game thread veteran and game thread creation rookie Labombo here. "Hi, Labombo!"

So before we get on with the rest, let me assure you that this mess was created only after carefully reviewing the guidelines for game thread creation, from which this nugget of wisdom stood out:

 

4. We like positivity.

 

I believe that's what my team of psychiatrists would call a conundrum. So let's just get this out of the way: the 2016 Minnesota Twins will finish the season with the worst record this franchise has ever had, leaving their indelible mark on the history of the Twins.


pet-stain-300x237.jpg

 

'Nuff said. Plenty of ink has been spilled, and billions of bits fired across the internet, about how bad the Twins were and what to do about fixing it. But not today. Today we celebrate the positive. But first, the lineups...

 

Chicago White Sox

 

1. Adam Eaton (L) RF

2. Tim Anderson ® SS

3. Melky Cabrera (S) LF

4. Jose Abreu ® 1b

5. Justin Morneau (L) DH

6. Todd Frazier ® 3b

7. Alex Avila (L) C

8. Carlos Sanchez (S) 2b

9. Leury Garcia (S) CF

 

- SP Chris Sale (L)

 

Minnesota Twins

 

1. Byron Buxton ® CF

2. Jorge Polanco (S) SS

3. Robbie Grossman (S) DH

4. Miguel Sano ® 3b

5. Kennys Vargas (S) 1b

6. Max Kepler (L) RF

7. Eduardo Escobar (S) 2b

8. JR Murphy ® C

9. Logan Schager (L) LF

 

- SP Jose Berrios ®

 

Weather: 65 and cloudy, with a chance of a blowout.

 

As expected, Brian Dozier is out of the lineup with a strained oblique.Tough break, since he's stuck at 99 RBI and has 3 HR in 38 career AB against Sale.

 

So where was I? Oh, right... positivity. But look at the time! Game starts in less than two hours, the suggested deadline for posting the GT. So... positive... positive... I'm trying.

 

Ok, so...Dozier. He had an amazing season while the Twins basically disintegrated like an experimental 1950's rocket plane around him.

 

And Ervin. He posted a 3.38 with a worse defense than Grenada circa 1983 playing behind him.

 

And... Buxton had a nice September. All right, so positivity is not always my thing, and there's other good stuff in the sea of awful that was this year's Twins squad. But my Positivity MVP for the 2016 Twins season is...

 

The 2016 Twins Game Thread.

 

Yes, that's right, fellow game threaders, you are all MVP's.You made a historically sucky season fun in an almost magical way that I've only seen one other place: Mystery Science Theater 3000...

 

alphabetanticskitteh.png?resize=478%2C31

 

The 2016 Twins were a movie so bad it somehow managed to be good, and sharing the experience of generating laughs from baseball that was at times as inexplicably goofy as a cat in a wedding gown was FUN! And you made it fun! Well done. And thanks to the mods for patrolling and maintaining the playground.

 

PS An update for all the posters who've expressed concern for Carousel Corgi, the brave little dog who runs 'round in a show of solidarity with struggling Twins pitchers besieged by baserunners from all sides:

 

105092-dog-running-on-merry-go-round-0XO

 

 

Though his little legs are tired and he's nearing his innings limit, CC is standing by for one last run, thanks to a potent cocktail of Red Bull and chondroitin coursing through his veins. A dog of few words, he asked me to pass on his thanks for your support and a plea for forgiveness if he has to go number two in the middle of another terrible Pat Dean outing.

Edited by LaBombo, 02 October 2016 - 12:37 PM.

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#2 Circus Boy

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 12:01 PM

Can't believe I'm sad the season is ending. Kind of like Woody Allen: "The food at that restaurant is terrible. And such small portions!"

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"Not my circus, not my monkeys." -- Polish saying


#3 Blake

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 12:08 PM

I'm not quite sure how it happened, but just about the time this dreadful season is ending work slows down so I have more time to pay attention to the Twins.

 

Funny how things work out sometimes.

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#4 mickeymental

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 12:14 PM

i'm more interested in this game than the ones that'll determine the wild cards. what's wrong with me?
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#5 Blake

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 12:18 PM

 

i'm more interested in this game than the ones that'll determine the wild cards. what's wrong with me?

You could say that about a lot of us.

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#6 HitInAPinch

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 12:24 PM

https://youtu.be/jHPOzQzk9Qo

 

large.jpg

"Life's a Piece of ****, When You Look at It."

Edited by HitInAPinch, 02 October 2016 - 12:25 PM.

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It's not my fault !


#7 ChiTownTwinsFan

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 12:26 PM

I'm watching to the very bitter end because it's a long time to ST.
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“Concern yourself not with what is right and what is wrong but with what is important.” ~Unknown


#8 Blake

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 12:50 PM

 

I'm watching to the very bitter end because it's a long time to ST.

Eh, there's also the Host Stove League and Winter Meetings. Along with ongoing front office realignment. And, will Molitor retain his job?

 

Plenty of stuff to keep an eye on. :D

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#9 LaBombo

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 12:52 PM

 

i'm more interested in this game than the ones that'll determine the wild cards. what's wrong with me?

 

You're a 2016 Twins fan. This is you support group.

 

luDavg6.png

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#10 Blake

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 12:54 PM

 

I'm watching to the very bitter end because it's a long time to ST.

By the way, I hope the eyeball thingy is just for Halloween, because it is a bit on the creepy side.

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#11 ChiTownTwinsFan

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 12:56 PM

By the way, I hope the eyeball thingy is just for Halloween, because it is a bit on the creepy side.


You know it's kind of a be careful what you wish for warning. There were complaints of a previous avatar so I put one up that was sure to be worse. It's a selfie.
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“Concern yourself not with what is right and what is wrong but with what is important.” ~Unknown


#12 Blake

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 12:58 PM

 

You know it's kind of a be careful what you wish for warning. There were complaints of a previous avatar so I put one up that was sure to be worse. It's a selfie.

Well, I don't remember the previous avatar, so, must have been rather innocuous as far as I'm concerned. I doubt I'll forget this one, however.

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#13 LaBombo

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 12:59 PM

 

You know it's kind of a be careful what you wish for warning. There were complaints of a previous avatar so I put one up that was sure to be worse. It's a selfie.

I'm good with that. The last one looked like a Susan Sarandon cameo on The Walking Dead.

 

Also, how did you make the eyeball look at the viewer? Is it a programmable .gif that hacks into the user's webcam?

 

..or is it just me, and the eyeball isn't actually moving...

Edited by LaBombo, 02 October 2016 - 01:03 PM.

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#14 Craig Arko

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 01:05 PM

You know it's kind of a be careful what you wish for warning. There were complaints of a previous avatar so I put one up that was sure to be worse. It's a selfie.


For next year I'll think I'll use a Doctor Strange avatar instead.
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"Insanity is relative. It depends on who has who locked in what cage." - Ray Bradbury


#15 Craig Arko

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 01:05 PM

I'm good with that. The last one looked like a Susan Sarandon cameo on The Walking Dead.
 
Also, how did you make the eyeball look at the viewer? Is it a programmable .gif that hacks into the user's webcam?
 
..or is it just me, and the eyeball isn't actually moving...


The best part is when it blinks.
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"Insanity is relative. It depends on who has who locked in what cage." - Ray Bradbury


#16 Blake

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 01:07 PM

 

I'm good with that. The last one looked like a Susan Sarandon cameo on The Walking Dead.

 

Also, how did you make the eyeball look at the viewer? Is it a programmable .gif that hacks into the user's webcam?

 

..or is it just me, and the eyeball isn't actually moving...

Hmm, now that would be kind of cool and creepy, an animated eyeball gif.

Edited by Blake, 02 October 2016 - 01:08 PM.

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#17 LaBombo

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 01:09 PM

 

The best part is when it blinks.

...But only in the corner of my eye as I look away. Weird! Haven't been this weirded out by my computer since an ex sent me an email that made a fly walk across the inside of my monitor screen.

 

8a4b395e1418e29836b8845e5d191423ad044d36


#18 operation mindcrime

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 01:11 PM

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssss!
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#19 glunn

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 01:12 PM

That was a nice start of the game by Buxton.

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#20 LaBombo

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 01:12 PM

Buxton wasn't stopping at third if the stop sign were a burning bush. Not that there would have been. How often does the already rare inside-the-park HR not even a play at the plate?

Edited by LaBombo, 02 October 2016 - 01:13 PM.

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