ANNND Welcome! To Minnesota Twins Whine Line: County Fair Edition! I am Vanimal; your chain smoking, tattooed, and missing a few teeth carny for the next 2 days! Let me be the first to welcome you to the Minnesota Twins County Fair! We just rolled into town, providing all of the fun and games you and the whole family can enjoy.
Before we dive into all of the great activities available for a limited time, let's talk about weather and lineups...
It's going to be a beautiful day for our neighbors to the north! 74 degrees F/ 23 degrees C at first pitch. Warming up a bit more as the game goes along. Winds from the ESE at 10 MPH.
Minnesota Twins (49-79):
1. Brian Dozier ® 2B
2. Joe Mauer (L) 1B
3. Max Kepler (L) RF
4. Trevor Plouffe ® 3B
5. Eddie Rosario (L) CF
6. Miguel Sano ® DH
7. Eduardo Escobar (S) SS
8. Juan Centeno (L) C
9. Danny Santana (S) LF
P- Ervin Santana ® - coming off a nice 7 IP 1 ER 10 K outing!
Toronto Blue Jays (72-56):
1. Jose Bautista ® DH
2. Josh Donaldson ® 3B
3. Edwin Encarnacion ® 1B
4. Troy Tulowitzki ® SS
5. Michael Saunders (L) RF
6. Kevin Pillar ® CF
7. Melvin Upton Jr. ® LF
8. Devon Travis ® 2B
9. Josh Thole (L) C
P - Marcus Stroman ® - also coming off a nice 7.1 IP 1 ER 9 K outing!
Sounds like we're in for a real treat on the diamond today. Now, let's light up a cigarette together and talk about the AMAZING attractions at Minnesota Twins County Fair!
Tyler Duffey Giant Slide: When you climb to the top of this 125 foot slide, you'll feel like the most important pitcher on a playoff contending team! ChiTown, our Carny Engineer, built this slide at a steeper angle than other slides you're used to... She loves the NEED FOR SPEED, and similar to Duffey's 2016 season, you'll come crashing down to Earth in a flash.
Jose Berrios House of Mirrors: Everyone is raving about this new attraction! The kids have a ton of fun walking through and seeing themselves as 8 ft tall giants, or 8 ft wide! Our favorite pitching prospect Jose has been feeling pretty small on the mound lately, so we came up with a solution! For the rest of the season, we're donating one of our mirrors to give the illusion of him being an intimidating force to batters!
Byron Buxton Vertigo Swings: Do you enjoy being swung around in circles at rapid speeds? Well, you're in luck, with the Byron Buxton Vertigo Swings! Much like our old friend, you'll be whipped around so fast that you forget where you are! Are we in Minneapolis? Rochester? Who knows! Here's an inside tip; ask North, ride operator, to crank the ride up to EXTREME!*
*Minnesota Twins County Fair is NOT responsible for jewelry and possessions lost while on EXTREME mode
Pat Dean Fastpitch: So you think Pat is a soft tosser, eh? Put your money where your mouth is in the Fast Pitch competition! Anyone who throws faster than Dean wins a life-like bear who wears Minnesota Twins gear!
Haunted House: Our award winning attraction! Fair goers have said this after leaving the house:
"This place is terrifying!"
"I won't be able to sleep for weeks!"
"I nearly peed myself at the end!"
At the house, you'll meet the following scary characters:
Phil Hughes, Tommy Milone, Kyle Gibson, Pat Dean, Andrew Albers... also featuring the ghosts of Kevin Jepsen, Ricky Nolasco, and Buddy Boshers!
We've got face painting, bumper cars, and a giant ferris wheel! So load up the car and drive on down to the fair!
And don't forget, starting at 8 PM stop by the Beer Garden to see the hottest rapper in the game, LL Cool Bean!
Let's go Twins!
Edited by twinsnorth49, 27 August 2016 - 10:12 AM.